I've just come across your journal -- congratulations on the steps you've taken to become chaste and improve your marriage. Your wife is obviously a strong woman deserving of your care and attention and service.
It's funny to me that you never mention it, but it's clear to me reading your posts, quoted above, that you are and have been a submissive man and husband. I don't know you and it's always hard to see inside people based on a half dozen blog posts, but that's you it reads to me. In my life I went through some of the same things you describe, the distance, the not touching, the passivity -- I gradually came to accept that I was waiting for, wanting for, her to lead. The fact that you offered chastity and cuckolding to her so quickly into your process of repairing your marriage are signs that you knew, too, that you needed openly to acknowledge her authority and leadership, and that you wanted her to see and accept you as her submissive husband. I hope your piercing goes well and that you find the secure device that makes your chastity and submission long lasting.