playmate my arse!

I'm sure not all are as useless.
I think you'd be above losing sleep over time wasters, ma'am

 

My Mistress and I both seemed to be going though the same process - trial and error - for years. In fact, our frustration with the missteps and fakes within the lifestyle (and writing about them) helped us find each other - almost exactly seven years ago.

At the risk of sounding cliche - I believe we, as humans, learn more from pain than any other one thing (which, I suppose, drives the whole fascination with D/s and chastity for a lot of us).

However, all of those failed and seeming useless experiences probably help us "know" when we have finally found the right relationship.

So - please hang in there Growth is really, really hard!

Meghan

 

A lot of those men more like the knowing of being locked than the real bearing of it.
Simply true: on the way to success there ist no moving stairs - on the way to dreams there isnt too!

Im sorry for your wasted time, Mistress Deborah, but please keep on tryin cause there are still al lot of men that are worth doing it, im sure!

Squier

 

Mistress Deborah, I am so sorry about what has happened with your outside playmate. I know you are a wonderful Mistress, and how much you are adored by your sub. I realize that that having a playnate is for your benfit, as it should be for a Domme, but please know how much you are loved by someone who worships your love and training abilities. Good things come to those who wait is an old expression my Mom used to say. I truly believe it, as it has happened with Mistress Suzan and me, for differebt reasons, after many years of me thinking I would be unfulfilled as a submissive for many years. If we were closer, I'm sure Mistress would help solve your current situation!
dickie

 

Well it's true. I was the "playmate" and I hold my hand up and admit it - I cracked and couldn't go on.
I thought this was what I wanted - but for various reasons I felt like I had to bail.
Most of all i would like to apologise to Mistress Deborah for both the time and investment she put in, and also ducking out like a coward.
She had been fantastic through our time together - naturing and guiding - and never deserved to be treated so poorly.
I am genuinely sorry, and hope her Mistress Deborah and Phil find what they're looking for - they deserve it.

 

@feather_touch Thank you for your kind words and good luck with your future exploits.

The dynamics of our relationship are very intense and I hope you find something similar.
Merry Christmas
slave phil

 

Well said feather-touch it at least goes to show you recognised the hard work that was put in by Mistress Deborah and that you respect them as a couple, for those that just think he took the easy way out i can see he knows he could have handled it better but hopefully it will be a lesson he has learnt for future use.

 

OK then, so that ended well considering.
Good sports indeed. That alone is encouraging. However I should think it rare to have a "playmate" so willing to own up. Feather touch may have flaked but his admission and apology put him in
A pretty rare category. Most men would drop off the site close their account and never address it again.

I would think this is a very good omen for the good people.

 

so true! its hard enough admitting to yourself you cocked up but to do so online takes balls...........luckily Mistress Deborah left those intact. well done

 

Im so sorry you are having a rough time Mistress Deborah, there are certainly loads of people on here looking for a dom, or so it seems, maybe they arent as genuine as they seem to be. You have however, sparked a though in my mind, I always thought the sub came out of an already existant relationship, seems I was wrong. It posed a thought, which came first, the sub or the partner? Do you have a partner separate from having a sub? Please excuse my impertinence if this is an inappropriate question to ask, as I stated on other posts Im fairly new to all this. I do however, wish you more success in your future endeavours

 

I'm curious about these online chastity/teasing type relationships, although I'm not looking for one myself. I really would like to learn more about this lifestyle, and understand what makes dommes tick.

I tried to strike up a conversation with a supposed mistress on here a couple of days ago, but 'she' was just trying to get me to PayPal her some money. So there are vultures on all sides.

Even if I was single, I doubt I'd be comfortable sending pics and videos of myself to a near stranger, and I'm not sure what else an online relationship entails.

When you say you invest time and effort, what goal is it you are working toward? My guess is a lot of people are newbies and want to experience being dominated but may not really understand it or be willing to commit to it. Or they get more than they bargained for, being at a different experience level.

 

do everyone a favour subdomain and name the person who attempted to get money from you via paypal i am sure the sites administrators would love to hear the name involved. There are many genuine members here who are looking for someone to share their fantasies with in an amiable and sharing way and if anyone is seeking any form of payment for doing so then they sure as hell are not doing it for anyones benefit other than their bank account......avoid them at all costs.

 

I believe the name was mistress maden, email maden.grey@yahoo.com

However I don't find anyone of that name doing a search. Hopefully this is of help.

 

That is so bad. Gives us doms a bad name. We rnt all like that. As for what makes us tick, that would be telling

 

In my travels, I have noted a tendency for male submissives to be considered "discardable". I believe this is because there are so many of them and the typical quality is quite poor. One the other hand, there are some very good ones out there, some that are very worthwhile. I am not saying the good ones are easy to find.

This reminds me of that joke. Two women are lamenting the lack of sensitive, attractive, well mannered, available men. The problem being that all the men like that already have boy friends.

I can certainly appreciate the frustration in trying to find worthy play partners, but I would gently point out that both genders have this difficulty. Women tend to be overwelmed with offers and have to wade through the noise trying to separate out the useless wankers. Men tend to find themselves lost in a crowd wondering how to not be ignored. Given enough time, everyone eventually shows their true colors, but it can be a long wait in some cases.

 

I hope it brings you all you deserve Mistress Deborah hopefully things will work out for all concerned

 

And from the centre of an electrically dead Toronto , HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 

Mistress I have been bailed on as you out it by 4 mistresses so I am very frustrated by the whole process I wish to worship and serve to discover the beauty of discipline and obedience but really don't know much about it and whether I am what you are looking for but I am open honest

 

I'm sorry that happened to you mistress. if i lucky enough to have a misstres like you I would never stand you up, to that point I would be early.

 

I have been into fetish play for a very long time and ran some sex boards before the web was graphical. I also played with others online later on in life. What I have learned is that guys get a very specific fantasy in their minds and then expect their 'dominant' partner to follow their script to the letter and even say the exact words they want to hear. If they do not, they leave. Also, some guys are into the thrill of the chase. They learn what to say to bag their Mistress and once obtained, the fun is gone and they move on to find another to add to their trophy case.

I have never found internet fetish play to last or be satisfying for me. I could tell my Mistress anything online while doing nothing. I am a little different perhaps in that I require an emotional relationship with a Mistress. I am not dominated but more that I surrender to a loving partner and do what she says out of love and knowing that she enjoys my pain and suffering. If I cannot experience her pleasure from my pain in person, it does not work for me.

 

I know I'm bringing up an old thread but had to chime in.

It stinks that Mistress Deborah and other Mistresses and FemDoms have experienced this. And in my own experience I think it's because we, the subs or slaves, are wrapped up in the moment. I'll admit, I've bailed on an online Mistress after a month because I got too wrapped up in the moment and excitement of my fantasy being fulfilled. I gave it my all and didn't balance my real life (being a husband) with my fantasy. So when things became too intense and started to have a negative effect on my real life I stopped all communication with my online Mistress.

What I wanted (which was to be locked up, serve a Mistress, dress like a sissy and earn an orgasm at almost any cost) was not realistic. I jumped into the deep end of this pool and after that month decided the water was too deep.

I spent countless hours during the day performing tasks, even while at work. It consumed me in its entirety.

But I learned a lot from it. I learned that I need to take it slow so I can balance my real life with my fantasy and hopefully do it slowly enough so that fantasy can become part of my real life. I know now that the only way that could happen is if I open up about my fantasies to my wife, which I am doing very slowly.

So now I as much as I still want an online Mistress to serve, I will be very clear as to how I am and that I need to take things slowly so I can balance that part of my life.

I'm sure I can't be the only one who is living a secret, second fantasy life. But maybe I am. Regardless, I know I have to take things slow so I dont just bail on all future Mistresses.

I think that's what some of the issues are with these online subs. It's a learning process in which we all need to look at ourselves in the mirror and really analyze who we are and what we can reasonably play from our fantasy into our real lives.

The reality right now is that I only self lock for a week at a time. I'd love to go longer but given my marital status and my wife not knowing my kinky side, one week, is reality. So I don't go searching for a Mistress because i would be a waste of their time right now. That's my Reality and I've accepted it. I think if other slaves/ subs in my position accepted their situation there wouldn't be as many "flakes" and time wasters and Mistresses would be more willing to work with subs like me/us.

 

Having fun is just that having fun .


Xx Wendy