Turned a corner - A new beginning?

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by homerdoh666a, Aug 27, 2014.

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  1. homerdoh666a
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    homerdoh666a Member

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    Hello everyone. I have only posted a few times, but I have been interested in chastity for a very long time.

    After 10+ years of on and off (mostly off) play, I think I am finally at a point where wearing a chastity device 24/7 is going to become my new normal. So I decided that I would start a post about the old timer, still newbie journey.

    I will start posting status updates more frequently, but I wanted to start with a psychological corner that I apparently just turned. Like I said, i have only really dabbled in chastity play over the years even though I have owned many devices, including a full metal belt which turned out to be $1000 waste of money.

    Currently I have a CB-6000s, but I want to get a mature metal jailbird device for Christmas. Anyway, I always tell myself that I am going to lock back up right after sex, but after I orgasm, the idea is no longer appealing.

    My wife isn't at the point of telling me when to lock up so it has been pretty much voluntary over the years with short periods of lock up and long periods in between where the device stays in my dresser drawer.

    However, earlier this week, less than a day after having an orgasm, I found that I was horny and wanted to be locked back up again. For me, that was a first.

    I locked back up and I am now on day 3. Oddly, I am feeling two things I never felt before.

    #1 I now like the feeling of being locked up and I actually think I prefer it now.

    #2 I have discovered that I really don't care if anyone else notices that I might have something under my pants. I wouldn't go out of my way to make it obvious, but I'm not paranoid about it anymore either.

    For me, I think that is a turning point.

    So I think I will start documenting my new beginning. I am hoping to show my wife that this is something that can be full time and it is worth spending the money on a new metal device.

    Two things that my darling wife said recently that gave me hope that she will become a serious keyholder and made me excited too:

    When I went to cuddle with her after being locked up for two days and she felt the device, giggled, and said she forgot I was even wearing it. I never forget so it is interesting to think that she could start holding the key and just forget that I am even locked up. That could lead to some interesting circumstances.

    When I casually told her yesterday that the two pairs of silk underwear that she bought me with a pouch in the front worked best when I was locked up and she just smiled and said so you need 7 pairs of those?

    Here's me, hoping that my time being unlocked is few and far between!
     
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  2. homerdoh666a
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    homerdoh666a Member

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    So Day 4 is starting off good. This is the first time I have been able to wear the device for 3 nights in a row without taking it off. My balls are high and tight and I have the same issues that many have posted about.

    I am still holding the key, but I think if I make it to 7 days, which will be a personal record, then I think I can safely say there aren't any problems and I can ask my wife if she will hold on to them.

    Here's to hoping!
     
  3. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    well @homerdoh666a even if after that you gives your Mistress the keys and your cage hurts you, if you asks Her nice She will prob take it off and has a look to see it not cutting or making your skin nasty. so don't you worry.
     
  4. homerdoh666a
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    homerdoh666a Member

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    Thanks for the comment, Jemina.

    I guess I had a little depressing setback that my wife doesn't know about. I appear to be a person who orgasms quite easily. I have been able to orgasm in every chastity device I have ever tried, either from masturbation like motions or other stimulation. I can even achieve orgasm while only semi-erect if I am excited enough.

    Well, yesterday, I was so horny after only 4 days (sad) that I attempted to do some prostate massage. There was a little dribble and I was left still horny. Later, I was still horny so I did manual anal massage while still locked up and achieved a spurting orgasm in less than a minute.

    That left me somewhat depressed and I immediately unlocked and cleaned up. The orgasm wasn't awesome, but it sort of defeats the entire purpose of being locked up. I stayed unlocked until a few minutes ago when I finally decided that I think I still want the reality of being locked up without access to the key (eventually), even if I can orgasm unless I exercise self control. I really like the idea of my wife holding the key to my chastity device.

    Oh well, my wife doesn't know it because she didn't see me without the device last night, but I guess I am back to day 0 again.

    Sigh. I am a weak, weak person.
     
  5. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    you shud have a teeny cage then. Then you cant get hard at all.
     
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  6. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    maybe you need somethimg that causes pain when you start to get hard?
     
  7. homerdoh666a
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    homerdoh666a Member

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    Yes, I am wondering if a properly fitted jailbird device would help with that. Unfortunately the CB-6000s is still too long. It would be nice if they would come out with a shorter version. Maybe if I am good, I can talk my wife into letting me get a jailbird for Christmas.
     
  8. subdomain
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    subdomain Active member

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    A couple of things...

    First, if you slip up and orgasm in the cage it's not the end of the world.
    It's a game, and a journey. It should be fun and you should learn as you go.

    Second, by all means get a jailbird. It won't be that much more secure but way more comfortable. I would suggest getting an extra bar added on the underside of the cage to limit access to that sensitive area.
     
  9. homerdoh666a
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    homerdoh666a Member

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    Thanks for those comments and the suggestion.

    My new Day 2 started off very early. Like others, I have trouble sleeping in the CB6000s. I only sleep about 5-6 hours anyway and when I start to wake up, I usually have trouble falling back asleep. That means I don't sleep very well and move around a lot. That disturbs my wife and I don't want her to get annoyed.

    My daughter's fiancé arrived yesterday for a visit and it was a little weird when I realized that I would be sleeping locked up and he was young and free. I started thinking about what it would be like to walk her down the aisle to start a new life knowing that I was securely locked up with my wife, hopefully, holding the key.

    For now, I keep the key on my keychain with the car keys. That way it is always available in case something happens, like the plastic cage splits or something. However, yesterday, I was still working and my wife needed to run some errands. I didn't think much about it, but she took the car keys. When I realized that she had the key and I couldn't unlock if I wanted, it was exciting.

    To keep planting subtle hints in my wife's mind, I mentioned to her that I went to get my special key when she was gone, but then I realized that she had taken it with her. I was hoping she might say something about it not being my key or maybe decide to take possession of the key right there, but instead she just laughed and said that was funny.

    Oh well, at least she isn't completely against the idea. I want her to get used to seeing me locked up every morning when we share the bathroom getting ready for work and I want her to know that I am staying locked up 24/7 unless she wants to have sex.

    Maybe that way, closer to Christmas, I can talk her into letting me get a smaller, more secure jailbird.

    I keep wondering if she has told anyone else about my interests. I know that she told one of her best friends, but that was quite a while ago when I was rarely wearing the device. The idea that she might tell her friends or talk about it with someone else is exciting.

    Best wishes to everyone in chastity!
     
  10. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    @homerdoh666a oooh yes, i fidgets lots in bed as well and cos my Mistress works and need Her sleep, i has to sleep in another bedroom in the week. But i am allowed in Her bed on weekends.
     
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  11. Governess Stephanie
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    Governess Stephanie Long term member

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    @jemima you are simply the most delightful person on this site. I always enjoy reading your comments, you are just lovely and the just the nicest person.
     
  12. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    upload_2014-8-31_15-32-40.jpeg oooh Mistress, what a lovely thing to say. i don't think its right really tho cos im a bit silly sometimes.
    sorry for intrupting your thing homerdoh.
     
  13. homerdoh666a
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    homerdoh666a Member

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    But silly can be fun!

    Anyway, I am back at Day 1 again. My wife was feeling frisky last night and although I think she tried to get off by just rubbing up against the plastic cage, she wasn't getting what she wanted. I can make her orgasm with my fingers and sometime my tongue (rarely), but she always wants more. She says she likes the feel of me inside her and likes me to orgasm too. She hasn't really embraced the idea of orgasming without real penetration. Dildos are ok, but only when I'm not around. I keep hoping that she might change over time, but we will see. She is quite a bit different after almost 25 years of marriage. She used to be completely vanilla. She didn't even like foreplay. She was a get right down to it kind of girl.

    So I left the cage off last night to sleep and then washed really good in the shower this morning (cage too) and then put it back on in the shower. I have decided that I can only go a couple of days without taking the cage off to wash it and myself thoroughly. No matter how hard I try, I can't get sufficiently clean for long term wear without taking it off for a good cleaning. I plan to do that every couple of days and lock right back up, behaving in between. I hope that if I can get a jailbird device, that problem will be resolved along with the night time discomfort. I have heard good things about the Holy Trainer, but for the cost, I think it might be better to just go for the jailbird later on.

    Last night I also planted a seed for future thought. We were sitting on the porch and she stated that one positive thing is that wearing the chastity device makes my package look bigger. I told her that was good and I joked that I was going to wear my speedo with the device on. She just sort of chuckled and said ok. I then told her that I am at the point where I really don't care if people see any bulge and wonder what it is.

    A small step forward though. I didn't click the lock shut in the shower this morning. Instead, I got out and started drying off, waiting for my wife to notice. She didn't, but she also didn't make any comment about me locking back up either. As I was finishing drying, I jokingly asked her if she wanted to shut the lock. She looked down, dried her hands, and then just clicked the lock shut saying that she was happy to oblige. I instantly started to fill the cage!

    So, I am still holding the key, but I am trying to stay locked up everyday. Time will tell to see how often she wants me to unlock and whether or not she will take it upon herself to take possession of the key.

    The count starts again!
     
  14. seasoned
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    seasoned Long term member

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    @homerdoh666a :Have you considered a penis extender,with numbing cream if necessary?This will involve your wife having to unlock you and,if she realises the importance of denial,locking you afterwards.I've never known a mistress refuse a little extra length;with luck you'll give an inch and she'll take a mile.;)
     
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  15. homerdoh666a
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    homerdoh666a Member

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    Thanks for that suggestion. I do have a hollow strap on that we use when I'm not up to the task (slow recovery) or when I am super sensitive (can't last). The hollow inside quite large enough so when I get fully erect, I am squished. I do end up orgasming inside it. I should look for some numbing cream. Any chance you can buy it in a regular store and not have to order on line or go anywhere special?

    I tried to stay locked up and wear the strap-on, but my wife wasn't going for it.
     
  16. homerdoh666a
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    homerdoh666a Member

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    On Day 2 again. Same trouble sleeping last night. I was helping my wife move furniture this morning and my caged crotch got in the way. When I joked about it, she said that she didn't make it that way, but she wasn't against it.

    I think I found a way to clean better in the shower without having to unlock after a couple of days. I put a small plastic dish in the shower. After I shampoo, I get some of the shampoo into the dish and then fill it with soapy water. Then I put the entire device into the dish of water and swirl everything around while I rinse the shampoo off.

    Then I wash with really well with regular soap as best I can into the device. Then I repeat the dish process with body soap in the dish and swirl everything around. It seems to get everything quite clean.

    I was in the process of the second dish soak/swirl when my 21 year old daughter came into the bathroom and told me that she was going to use the hair dryer. I had to be a little more careful since the heart shaped silver lock that I wear bangs against the plastic tube and makes noise.

    I'm just glad the shower curtain isn't transparent!
     
  17. homerdoh666a
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    homerdoh666a Member

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    So I am apparently getting forgetful and not cautious enough. I was taking some pictures of my daughter and her fiance today with my camera phone and I let then look at the gallery and pick the ones they liked to send to their own phones and delete the ones they didn't like. Afterwards, I looked at what they saved in the camera roll and right there on the screen was my avatar picture that I forgot was on the phone. That was the only one, but I can't see how they could have missed it. They didn't say anything so I guess I won't know.

    Oh well, they are adults and if they have questions, I guess they will ask!

    Off to sleep for night two once again!
     
  18. salonslave
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    salonslave I play for a living and work for fun.

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    Be more careful!
    Maybe they thought the picture was some technical tool, but maybe they know more than you about CBs. You may never know.
    Hg
     
  19. homerdoh666a
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    homerdoh666a Member

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    Yeah, I have forgotten and left the CB black zipper bag out in our bathroom on several occasions over the years and it always surprises me. My wife and I have texted back and forth teasingly before and that always makes me a bit nervous when one of the kids asks to use one of our phones.

    I have heard about being cautious about handing your phone over to someone in case they decide to scroll through your pictures, but I honestly forgot that it was on there. I downloaded it to use for this site and then I forgot.
     
  20. homerdoh666a
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    So, I won't be winning any endurance awards. I ended up getting unlocked again last night and slept that way too. My wife seemed content to just snuggle last night, but I initiated and she was receptive. I did my best to please her without unlocking and she orgasmed multiple times, but she was really going and wanted the whole deal. I tried to hold out to suggest that I stop and lock back up, but didn't make it. She is never upset by that and prefers it.

    So I slept unlocked for a better night sleep. I locked back up this morning before we head to work and we saw my daughter off for her trip back to college.

    Baby steps. My immediate goal to is keep myself locked up every single day from now on. I still have to get over that hurdle of locking myself up right after intercourse, but I will keep working on that. I still hold the key, but I am hoping that being locked up will become routine and my wife will start to get more into it.

    Small progress though. In the past, she hasn't liked the feel of the cage and lock up against her at night. Recently though, she hasn't complained when I snuggle up to her and the cage presses between us. She even wiggles back some and giggles! That is something new.

    Also, last night, with the bedroom door closed (children you know), I was laying in bed, naked except for the cage, with my eyes closed. She came out of the bathroom and touched me unexpectedly. She laughed at my reaction and the ensuing bulging!

    So we will see if I can manage to wear the device every single day in September, regardless of how many times it comes off for sex. Time will tell.
     
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  21. Jeremythesub
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    Jeremythesub Member

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    I relate to a lot of this. I too have a cb6000s but would like a nicer, custom fit metal device and I really don't care if anyone notices my device under my clothing since they can't tell what it is which is important as I am rather fond of tight jeans.
     
  22. homerdoh666a
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    homerdoh666a Member

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    Sorry I haven't updated for a bit. The Mansion was down and I also hit a major snag that had me feeling down and a bit depressed. My wife and I were doing so great with the renewed chastity thing. I was wearing the device everyday, she was getting used to it, and she was even getting into significant foreplay while I was still wearing the device. Thus the problem.

    The CB6000s has problems anyway with erections since I can grow too much and my balls are high and tight. One night she was really getting into it and riding me. It was uncomfortable for me, but it was so unlike her that I didn't want to tell her to stop. My balls really started to burn and I got pinched once too. I ended up unlocking and we had great sex. And I was committed to locking back up the next day. Until...

    I had the worst chaffing around 50% of my balls. It was pretty bad. I wore the device for another day, but then I had to take it off. She didn't notice and even joked about taking the key. I had been trying to think of a way to bring up trying to get a different device like a jailbird or a holy trainer. When I told her I had to take the device off, it was immediately back to what it had always been. Nothing ever works for me and I can't wear any of the devices like I want.

    She definitely wasn't supportive of me buying another device so I stopped wearing what I have. So I have been bummed for a few days and pretty unhappy. Finally, this afternoon, I decided that I would go back to trying to wear the device everyday and take breaks if chaffing starts. Maybe I can build back to where we were and go beyond.

    Maybe I can convince her that chastity can work.

    It doesn't help that there is stress with our daughter's upcoming wedding too.

    Oh well, I will wait and see her reaction when she sees me wearing the device again. It will probably be something like so you decided to put that back on or I don't know why you're wearing that again, you can never keep it on.

    Sigh. :(
     
  23. homerdoh666a
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    homerdoh666a Member

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    So Day 1 starts over again. As I suspected, my wife noticed the device under my briefs when we were getting ready for bed and she asked why did I put it back on. I responded that I am happier wearing it. She said I was funny and that I couldn't make up my mind and that was it.

    I tried sleeping in the device, but I was also trying the next smaller ring to see if that helped any, but it definitely doesn't. I had to take the device off quietly in the middle of the night to avoid disturbing her. This morning I am up early and I swapped out the rings to the larger one that I was wearing before. Now I am making coffee and locked up more comfortably.

    I only hope that I can keep wearing this thing until she realizes that this is truly what I want and that I really am happier being locked. Hopefully then she will figure out that I really do want a keyholder and I want to lose that control. My fear is that without a different device, that might never happen. I also can't blame her for being skeptical since we have spent quite a bit of money over the years and tried this before and it has never worked out.

    Well, I guess I will keep trying.
     
  24. starflyer
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    starflyer Junior Member

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    I feel naked when I'm not in my cock cage, as though something is missing !
    Wifey always locks me up and takes the key with her, but there is a spare for emergencies in an envelope which she has signed over the flap so she would know if id used it.
    So far never had to use it, longest ive been locked is 30 days, always had to keep lubeing up though, but its a great feeling knowing that your wife has locked you and has the key.
    She does let me penetrate her when im locked, but only with a strap on dildo which I wear above my cage, and she orgasms with one of her vibrators.
    This gets me horny in my cage, she is satisfied, and I am denied orgasm, which she likes to control.
     
  25. spider202
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    spider202 Long term member

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    to homerdoh66a.
    don't feel to bad if you can't get the device fitting right the first time. You must not see it as failure but as a wealth of information gained and don't be too hard on your good wife for she is learning as well.
     
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