Immediately after ruined orgasm

How about stop craving so called ruined orgasms? That would truly solve the problem once and for all. It sounds as if it is not an invention of hers.... Her pleasures should become yours - so licking sounds like a good place to start...

 

Maybe it is just me.. I like the thought of him being totally aroused and extremely submissive in his mind when he serves me. I know it is being said that a ruined orgasm leaves the man with frustration and no relief. From my VERY FEW - experiences I am not so sure about that. I certainly detected a change in his mindset, and he was not as absorbed in pleasuring me, as he otherwise would be. Therefore - no more ruined orgasms for him!

 

I agree.
My findings were similar to your own. I just can't see the point in them.
Perhaps someone can enlighten us?

 

You don't have to try everything you read about here to qualify or conform to what's perceived to be submissive conduct. Though there's nothing at all wrong with you both discussing what you find and trying things out if they tickle your fancy.
You will find yourself to be more attentive without orgasms, ruined or otherwise.
For now perhaps just try to relax and let her pleasure become your sole pursuit.

 

@Mascara^Snake is right about her pleasure being your sole pursuit. That's the drumbeat I have been marching to ever since we got into chastity and the payback has paid off huge for our relationship.

I do have to chime in about ruined orgasms though. They are the only type of orgasm I had been allowed for several years until recently and they always increased my arousal. My wife has always loved them and how they affected our relationship but now I am not allowed any kind of orgasm just because she wants it that way. She recently told me that she wants permanent denial for the indefinite future but I suspect that she will allow a ruined orgasm at some point although very, very rare.

Ruined orgasms done right can make a man (at least me) far more aroused just teasing and edging. Most people seem to think that ruining is bringing the man to the point that as soon as he starts to ejaculate, to stop all physical stimulation. The man's penis still pulses and expels cum. He still has all the sensations except not as great as being touched while happening so technically it really isn't ruined. It was an orgasm that was somewhat pleasurable, it still feels good and letdown can and will happen. It's actually a wasted orgasm.

To us a ruined orgasm is when just before ejaculation, stimulation stops. There is no pulsing and a limited amount of cum just oozes out. There zero sexual pleasure, no real relief and arousal does not go away and the penis stays rock hard. The feeling is more like prostate a milking.

The beauty of this type of ruined orgasm done right is that the man experiences sexual frustration to the nth degree and realizes how much control his KH has over his sex. My wife is so good at it that she gets me to only ooze a minimal amount. She has always wanted to control it to just one drop but I can't do it no matter how hard I try. She loves watching me squirm and strain and tense as I try to respect her wishes to only a drop. She has me in such a state that I will agree to and say anything she wants to please her. When she finally ruins me and only a little cum oozes out, I am crazy out of mind for her and this is where she wants me. I get locked up immediately the I will do everything I can to please her at this point and for as long as she wants whether it is oral pleasure or a back rub or just laying there caressing her until she falls asleep. This feeling lasts for weeks for me.

So done right, ruined orgasms really mess me up in a good way. Especially for her as I go overboard with everything I can do for her. There is a place for ruined orgasms in chastity for my wife. She has always liked this part and how they affect the both of us but she has always said that when it comes to my sex it not just about denial but it's about controlling the actual orgasm. I couldn't agree more.

 

Thank you chastingfun for sharing your own truly eloquent definition of ruined orgasm.
I'm sure a better understanding of the those two words might make it worth revisiting for some.

 

I'm going to be honest that the term confuses me somewhat. I will say, full ejaculation and relief is possible locked. (except in a kali's teeth type device... that just seems utterly impossible unless you really have no pain threshold) So, that happens sometimes. Of course, I had premature issues before chastity anyway. I have experienced being very close to climax, teetering on the edge, but never quite being allowed. Some times a muted throbbing occurs, with no ejaculation. But it doesn't seem orgasmic enough for the title orgasm. It just seems like, I got close. But I don't know if I just have more of a hair trigger than some. Could be. But I do know that if my mistress brings me close, and denies me, and makes me wait, and then eventually allows me to, on her terms, days or weeks later - locked or no I go limp from the experience. So try my best to accept it, and enjoy the intimacy and contact in the amount it was given. She will take care of me when she needs me to be taken care of and I accept it because I have decided that she knows how to make me happy, with as many or few orgasms as she knows to allow me. Once you stop worrying about having an opinion on the matter, and focus only on her pleasure you will feel nothing but adoration and peacefulness. Sometimes, she will have been talking to you all day about the things you want to do to her, knowingly playing at your desires, knowing the whole time all she's going to allow you is to massage her hands because they are tired. Whether or not your needs were met becomes oblivious when you recognize that she just needs to have her hands rubbed, and then fall asleep. And if you were pleasant and thorough about it, and didn't ruin her handgasm by sniveling about your orgasm - she will keep you happy forever, because you've given her a reason to keep you around. Trust your mistress. And relax so you can enjoy the experience.

 

i agree with @chastingfun on the ruined orgasms. You ladies might have been doing it wrong or maybe not stopping quick enough. Its a very fine line. Also for future reference, i have read from someone that even if you go past the ruined orgasm and the cum starts oozing out and he finds it just a little pleasureable, a good smack on the balls or an even harder one on the thigh will quell any good feelings at the moment the cum starts flowing.

 

It's not that these wonderful women aren't doing it right as much as they and their husbands need a better understanding what works best and that which doesn't. Actually the women need their husbands to better educate them on what is working and how close they are etc. (Open Communication?) It's definitely something that requires some practice but so worth it. It's like being edged out of your mind along with an oozing cum bonus without the pleasure of orgasm. The look of my wife's devilish eyes and smile as she watches me in agony. So frustratingly hot.

Damn!!! Gotta go cool down now.

 

I think this cums down to weither you see a CD as a toy to enhance play time or to stop your boy playing with his bits or to go as far as permanently denial of his orgasams either from his choice or not .

As a practioner of self pleasure since er about 11 and by say mid teens beginning to realise I was wasting large parts of my day keeping the Kleenex company in full production . I did try to stop but failed miserably .

So even in relationships I still could not resist the urge .
Cut to about 3 years ago when I was beginning to find out what was wrong with me . As I descovered all about my gender dysphoria and that I now know is , nothing is wrong with me at all. It's just me.
Early in my findings out It was suggested to me I abstain from boy orgasams and the more totally I did the better and then see how I felt after at least 4 or 6 weeks would be better. .

Well nothing ventured nothing gained and did as I was advised.
The first couple of weeks were really bad but it was just a matter of say no to myself . Then by the end of the first month I realised I had lost the habit .
My feelings were so changed . The feminine bit is not really relevant to this thread though they were seismic .
But you can stop if it's total thus no descusion or shall I shan't I.

If you don't want to used chastity as a sex play then just stop playing with your boy bits totally .
From the moment you read this just say that is it and go for it . Wee wash it job done !

You do have to give it a fair go say at least till Christmas or maybe even a random date in mid January so nothing to distract or cause to celebrate or free time to cause a relapse.

Personally the sooner I can change my hormones and every last scrap of my boy sex drive is gone the better but then that is me .

Being celibate but in a relationship I would think is very good for your partner. How far you take it is the intreging bit.
If they still like to play with your boys bits and thus your biggest sex organ your brain omg.
If however they are no more interested in it than last week's rubish then that could be the easiest way to carry on.

Xx Wendy