I love Chastity

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by OwnedbyLeeanne, Jun 17, 2014.

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  1. BlueEyes
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    BlueEyes The lifestyle pumps in my veins...
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    Sorry to hear...
    but sometimes this lifestyle needs more than a helping hand. Yo can wait too long for things to come around. And sometimes misunderstandings are not solved by themselves..
    Tell her You need to have the device back on. Tell her you need it to be able to pamper her in every way. No shame in that! It is the chemistry of attraction - only in a slightly different form. Tell her You love to be her a better husband - and this is doing the trick.

    And...
    Learn to suffer some more, when she is not paying enough attention to your sufferings.
    I have been there myself, but eventually I found the technique: Never to push her to fiddle with You, talking about your condition , - and at the same time shower her with love, affection, awareness of her every need. She will come around. She does not have to develop into a dominatrix to be center of your affection. And over time , she will learn to appreciate, . - no - to crave.
     
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  2. I LOVE my Choice!
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    I LOVE my Choice! Long term member

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    Hey @OwnedbyLeeanne!

    I think our friend @BlueEyes is correct in some ways!

    Softly-softly is a good tactic... but... if it is based on the assumption one's partner will want to be dominant, or will become dominant, then it may be destined for failure...?

    I certainly don't want to criticise because it seems you are in a tough spot my friend.... But.... Could it be that you are topping her from the bottom a little....? You want, if not need, chastity.... But what does your wife want....?

    Are you trying a little too hard to get what you want...?

    Maybe you should have that conversation with her that you think about..... I know it may be easier said than done, especially if you are stuck in a bit of a power struggle, but you might never really know what your wife wants until you ask her and she certainly won't know what you want until you tell her!!!

    And there my be some resentment if you give up your wish because you think she was not bothered....

    Again.... I hope-I REALLY hope-you find a way to communicate.... And I hope these words don't appear too harsh on the screen, cos they're not meant with bad intentions!

    GOOD LUCK!

    With the absolute kindest regards.

    J.
     
  3. starflyer
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    starflyer Junior Member

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    Yep this happens to me too, but don't give up!
     
  4. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    aaaaw, that's a shame. Asks Her if you can has your cage back on again.
     
  5. Mistress Jules
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    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
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    I am seeing an awful lot in this post about you. Providing guidance, ignore my needs, deciding it was time for her to stand on her own, I want her to realise ....

    To me this seems very much like this is something you wanted to introduce, she agreed however it only works for you if it is the way you want it. It certainly does not appear to me to be geared to her wants and desires, in fact I don't think I have seen them mentioned, only her reaction to your wants and desires being met or not as the case may be.

    In my personal opinion, I can't see anything in it for her as all it seems to be is you enjoying your kink the way you want it. If you don't get things as you want them then you try and force the issue. I know I personally would have binned the device and told you to forget it.
     
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  6. OwnedbyLeeanne
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    Thanks to all for the interest and there is some truth in all the comments.
    While I admit that I have tried to lead her down a path I have made, my Mistress has shown interest and now
    comments that she has lost control.
    While it is fine fro Mistress Jules to say what she would have done, the problem is that Mistress Jules is already a dominant
    woman and that is what you would expect her to say.
    In my case I have always been the dominant one calling all the shots and this is/was an attempt to try and bring some of that
    out in my wife.
    So even if I have been topping from the bottom what is wrong with that if the other person benefits and ultimately becomes
    strong enough to realise this and make her own choice.
    I guess I am guilty of trying to make a Dominant out of a Submissive and in doing so switch our relationship around.
    So I think I am just going to say that if she want me to put the cage back on she just needs to ask me to do it and see what happens.

    Dianne
     
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  7. Chris with PA
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    Chris with PA Active member

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    If this would happen to me I would install the device and ask my dear Lady to insert and close the lock.

    Luckily She likes the "click" of the padlock and the bird being safe in the cage.
     
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  8. the odd tease
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    the odd tease Long term member

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    I've always found it hard to clap one handed.

    Relationships require give and take, but mostly time and patience. My trouble is not to get too far ahead of my sweet partner.

    Good luck, I have confidence you'll find a common ground.
     
  9. OwnedbyLeeanne
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    Well it has been many weeks of being unlocked and not much has happened.
    I even stopped waxing.
    So today I decided to start again and see what happens.
    I went and got waxed this afternoon and later today I will lock myself and then give the key
    to my wife and then let it take its course whatever that is.

    Dianne
     
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  10. Sig Wyrminorb
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    Sig Wyrminorb Long term member

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    Good luck, Diane!
     
  11. xcitedsisssy
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    xcitedsisssy cd/sissy michelle

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    Best of luck to you and the Mistress. I do hope things work out for you two. I look forward to hearing how things turn out. Best regards.
     
  12. OwnedbyLeeanne
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    Well the I put on my device and went to bed as usual (The device had the lock installed but not clicked shut) and was waiting to see
    if /when she noticed.
    I went through the night without her noticing and then in the morning her hand wandered and she noticed that I had on the device, she promptly said "What have you got that on for?".
    This made me a little disappointed as it sounded as thought she was not interested in chastity anymore.
    I did not reply and nothing more was said during the day and I headed out for most of the day to do some work.
    No more was said until she came into my study as she was getting ready for bed and said she wanted me to take my daughter to work
    early in the morning (Saturday), I replied "No" and she said "I WANT you to do it" and she patted the device under my pants.
    I then said "You don't have the power", and to my surprise she held out her hand and said "I want the key". and smiled.
    We both laughed and she headed off to bed so I wait to see what happens next but it sounds like she does want me locked up after all.
    ;)

    Dianne
     
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  13. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    im glad you back. and its nice being all smooth again i bets.
     
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  14. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    "you dont have the power" ha ha. Sounds like your trying to get in trouble lol. Good luck!
     
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  15. Sig Wyrminorb
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    Sig Wyrminorb Long term member

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    No kidding, huh? :0)

    Diane, I hope she locks you down nice and tight.
     
  16. OwnedbyLeeanne
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    We were out today and a couple of times she made reference to what she wanted to which I replied " You don't have the key".
    Well it is all I good fun anyway and we are having a laugh, I plan to give her the key in the morning s that will be an interesting experience.

    Dianne
     
  17. OwnedbyLeeanne
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    Well she asked for the key a couple of days ago and I have given them to her.
    Not a lot has happened as yet and I am slowly getting back into the mindset of it all again.

    Dianne
     
  18. OwnedbyLeeanne
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    Things have improved and she seems to be getting back into it slowly.
    I have been paying more attention to her and this morning she got on top of me and we kissed for a while,
    all the time my cage was bulging.
    During this I said to her "Do you like me locked up" and she said "Yes".
    She also said that she would not let me out yet as I was being punished.
    So it looks like I just need to go along and see what happens next.

    I also find it interesting that my mindset is changing slowly and I am thinking more about how I have given her my
    promise of chastity and I therefore just need to give in to it.

    Dianne
     
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  19. OwnedbyLeeanne
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    Well we went away on a short 2 day break and she offered to remove the device for convenience
    as it may have caused some practical issues (Bike riding, Swimming etc.).
    When she removed it I said, "You have to put it back on when ready".
    Well we are back and I am waiting again to see what happens next.
    I am hoping she locks me up again soon.

    Dianne
     
  20. OwnedbyLeeanne
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    Well nothing really happened since the last post except.
    When we started I made a contract for us both to sign and it lasted 1 year from her birthday to the next.
    I have just re read the contract and I was indeed very thorough and have realised that I have broken it in many
    ways.
    While my Mistress has also not followed it I have decide that I will continue as agreed by me anyway and see what happens
    next.
    I have re locked myself this morning and will confront her shortly with my apology and seek forgiveness.

    Dianne.
     
  21. OwnedbyLeeanne
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    Well I have apologised to my Mistress and it looks like we are back on track again.
    I think even though most do not agree with a written contract in our case it helped me to realise that I
    was not keeping to my promise and it did not matter if my Mistress was not following it either.
    My contract was worded so that once we both signed it could not be broken by either of us until
    the 12 month term was up.

    Now I am locked and with the re engaging commitment I am leaking again.

    I DO love Chastity. :D

    Dianne
     
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  22. OwnedbyLeeanne
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    Well some interesting things have happened since the last post however things are still moving slowly.
    We went to 50 Shades on Valentines and that stirred up a few thoughts although even though we had a
    weekend to ourselves nothing really happened.
    I gave my Mistress a crop as in the movie because she is always threatening to get one, she used it on me a couple of times
    and that was that.
    Then last night she asked to get handcuffs.
    So I will surprise her with some in the next day or two and see what she does.
    So I must say that the biggest frustration is not the lack of sex or relief it is the mixed signals she sends out.

    Dianne.
     
  23. OwnedbyLeeanne
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    Well for a first my Mistress came in while I was sitting down and pulled down her pants and said " Time to do your
    duty". Well it was actually not a viable time however I made it up to her this morning by oral on her and then a long back
    massage.
    She kept me locked all the time and played with my cage just enough to make me wish I was not wearing it.

    Dianne
     
  24. OwnedbyLeeanne
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    Well I purchased an epilator yesterday with my Mistress consent and I must say it is an interesting experience.
    And to add to my confusion my Wife came in while I was getting ready this morning and said " Maybe she should go to the Sex shop and by a
    plastic penis to use on me".
    Hmm! Not sure what to do about this.

    Dianne
     
  25. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    Lol

    Mistress Epilator omg what fun but it gets better as you use it more often . Keeping it clean and making sure your skin is free of cream and moisturising stuff lets it get a better grip.
    Your hair will start to decrease gradually.
    Just be happy she is beginning to embrace the er lifestyle.

    Just be sure to get lots of propper lube make sure it's water based then you do not have to worry if it's compatible with toys gloves ect. . My preference is for jlube in powder form make it up as you need it a day or so before and keep it in the fridge . Old washing up liquid bottles small size are good washed very clean .
    Put about 20 mm of water in and 2 tea spoons powder or a couple good squeezes and a good shake see how it is after a couple of hours at least .

    Xx Wendy
     
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