Chastity relationship maker or breaker.

Apart from one exception and not counting adolescent fumblings, I've never been in a relationship where I revealed how kinky I am part way through. I've always been up front and honest from the get-go. As a result, I don't have all that many relationships under my belt compared to an average man of my age, but the relationships I've had have all been a D/s dynamic where sex is concerned, and being a switch with some talk about chastity in the future used to be enough for me.

I read a lot of stories and journals online in my formative years about chastity (the very deepest of my desires), and I remember feeling a great deal of empathy for those who wrote about trying to get their reluctant partner into their chastity fetish because the key holder enjoying locking me up was (and still is) the most important part of the whole dynamic to me. So I always vowed to seek out the dominant, open-minded and experimental women and not waste anyone elses time pretending I am happy with vanilla sex, because I knew I wasn't.

I once (this is the one exception I mentioned) nearly consigned myself to a life without my desires fulfilled because I loved the girl and that comes above anything else. But I must say I breathed a quiet sigh of relief when we broke up, and my immediate thought was that I very nearly screwed up my chances of living chaste, so I reinstated my vow to never dabble in the vanilla world again, no matter how attractive they are!
You dominant and open-minded women are rare and beautiful. So worth holding out for

 

I have been with my wife for right years and she discovered my chastity desire a year ago this month!
I am very lucky in that it has enhanced our relationship!
I was married before and kept my chastity private but that was because my ex wife would of flipped!

 

In my case, having him secured was the only way forward. Nothing else could possibly have worked.

 

Explaining how chastity effects my relationship with Mistress would take pages and pages, and i'm sure i'd not really be well understood unless you gentle reader, knew both of us before and after getting together. Essentially, we started out having a general idea of what was to be expected of me. Chastity was to be a very big part of that. It has made us closer and more in-tune with each other. It's the kind of relationship we were both meant to have!

 

Dear Ms Amanda,

my relationship with Mistress Sonia is a little different since O/our common interest in enforced chastity and in Female Superiority are the primary catalysts which brought U/us together. Almost immediately Mistress Sonia recognized the many benefits from keeping Her slave locked with great pleasure and amusement. What began as simply mutual agreed upon long term enforced chastity "play" has become a permanent lifestyle for U/us and W/we couldn't be happier. Well, mostly Mistress couldn't be happier.

 

Hmmn, a very difficult question. For me it represents the physical embodiment of what was the natural state of our sexual relationship. What taking on the physical device meant was bringing all those issues into the open and laying them out for consideration, and in that it has helped us immeasurably. I'm not sure if you asked my Wonderful she would say the same, but certainly she would agree that it has opened the way for healthy, humorous and clear communication about things sexual. On the whole, I'd say better.

She finds my sissy leanings a bit harder, but is mostly accepting and so I don't go far down that road, it lives mostly in my head, my nighties and occaisional light dressing.

Now, having opened that communication, we're pretty well better off with or without chastity. If I'm not wearing the device I don't behave any different as far as I can tell, though possibly a bit less relentlessly horny, she's still in control of my orgasms, but I get to handle my cocklet more. She probably finds that a bit of a relief that I'm less horny, though I think I miss the device after a few days.

We dont make a big deal out of it though, and we're flexible and responsive enough in our attitudes that if we needed to make changes or get rid of it completely we could, without too much trouble.

 

Damaged my relationship. I was too kinky for her and there was no way for me to be vanilla enough. Not much more to say and not really willing to share any more.

 

Paulo: How did your wife find out and what was her reaction?

 

It spiced up our relationship. She likes it more than me these days and demands I wear it.

 

Good for her, I hope she holds all the keys and has checked it is secure.
Rita

 

So far I'd say it's enhanced our relationship. We definitely communicate more around sex and sexual dynamics. I wholeheartedly agree with @SubVerity it has taken a dynamic that was already between us and externalized it. Now the fact that she is in charge of our sex life is completely out in the open and discussed where as before is was something that wasn't discussed and maybe even denied

 

It's enhanced our relationship and we have been married for nearly 20 years and we have always fooled around with chastity but never serious then on my last birthday she ordered it on and wow !!

 

We have had lots of experience with tease and denial but wearing a device is new for both of us. So far we like it. Though I introduced Karen to chastity, I did not coerce her in any way. She has been very accepting. At this stage, just a little over three weeks in, I'm not sure if Karen really likes it and will want to make it a lifestyle or if she is catering to my desire to locked. Currently we are both very pleased with the positive change in my behavior. I kind of feel that if I am in chastity long enough, my behavior and obedience may become permanent even with out the help of a chastity device.

 

We're very much, in the words of Dr Song, early days.

Just came through some life adjustments due to change of work, and I thought she'd lost interest in the chastity pat of our new play... but.

I was left unlocked for several days, and have been very bad. I'm so pleased that I'm in trouble. I expect some consequence, but hope that the last two hours of foot and hand massage has helped LOL.

 

It has been a complete game changer for our marriage.
Stronger than ever, even with a third member included into the circle of trust( My wife has taken up her youth girl-fling )

The lifestyle has kept me from yesterdays extreme play and focus on my sexual needs, and turned the table around.

It has revitalized her libido , much to her own surprise. She has gained great confidence, and it truly shows. Wonderful.

I have - in all respect become - a better husband, a better listener, a better lover and pleaser - so she tells me... With her clever control and steady leadership I have peace in mind, I'nm at ease, very happy, very horny, fit and well-trimmed - for her...

I'm without device, but pierced with a permanent cock ring to hold soon....

In fact with me it is no longer the outside boundaries that restrains and guides me, it is in the blood, in my head, all around...
I am on permeant denial, and it is meant to be...

May it stay like this forever...

 

A few weeks ago my second Chinese JailHouse M200 developed some wear in the powder coating which was causing an open sore. This caused me to have to take it off and toss it, pending arrival of the MM Watchful Mistress. At first she thought the idea was a little nuts, but now my girlfriend is annoyed that I'm unlocked. She can hardly wait until the new cage she bought for me arrives. Not that I've given her any reason to doubt my faithfulness, but knowing it's locked up gives her an increased peace of mind.

 

We started out with male chastity eight years ago. While my wife took quickly to me being orgasm-denied, the idea of using a device took her longer to feel comfortable with. Denial has now become the norm, with release only via "accidents" three or four times a year. She now only wants my oral attention and is happy to dismiss me at any point during sex. Although I've always done my share of chores I think our relationship has been enhanced by my becoming more submissive, responsive to her needs and wanting to please like in early dating. For example I usually bring drinks and serve her food while she relaxes and am probably more willing to apologise after being unreasonable. Without chastity things might be the same, who knows, but my hunch is that the sexual element of chastity keeps me continually focused on her in a positive way.

 

Complete maker. I discovered chastity back in April 2014 and together we are enjoying it.
I am more attentive to my wife and much more the better husband.
I am very focussed on my wife's needs.
We have been married 27 years and it is still not long enough.
Sex was dropping off before I discovered this site and it has revitalised us.
I was a chronic masturbater before and now any orgasm is a bonus.It keeps me focussed on my wife.
Lurkers, you should give it a try.
This is a brilliant site and I am a big fan. If only more men were caged the world would be a much better place.

 

My wife and I don't have a heavy femdom dynamic, but my being in chastity has caused us to focus more on each other. Definitely an enhancement.

 

I'm very curious to hear how chastity works without a D/s relationship. Can you explain? Do you mean you share equal say as the when you are unlocked?

Out of respect for Mistress Amanda and her thread, I'll start a new thread. Can you please reply there?

 

Wait, was I reading things or did your quote just change from "we don't have a D/s relationship" to "we don't have a heavy Femdomme dynamic"??

 

@Nostromo (wow such a synchronicity response.. i'm playing an Alien vid game right now and was just trying to explain it to Miss Amanda (@Mascara^Snake )

Can you please post a link to the new thread?