Stargazers Story: A newbie's perspective of chastity.

Things continue to go well. The belt is holding up nicely and because of those evil female hormonal cycles, there's no babymaking happening. I'm coming up on three days since we last had sex and the belt went back on.

My body is not quite as robust, sadly. I have a small amount of rubbing developing on my left thigh. Weve covered it with a plaster for the time being but will have to investigate longer term solutions.

Part of me thinks this would be less of a problem if I lost a little weight so, starting tonight, I will dig out the exercise bike and start pedalling my way towards a little more comfort.

And though I'm loathe to remove the belt unless it's absolutely essential, we've orered a really nice set of leather fist mitts so that I can have my hands neutralised and the belt removed during bedtime, should we feel it necessary.

Let's see how this situation develops. But the importnt bit is that the latest mods are sound and this time it's not the belt doing anything wrong.

Hurrah!
 
It's been a mixed couple of months. The belt continues to do its job admirably and although there have been a couple of short spells of being released, I'm spending far more time locked than not now. It'd be a lie if I said I didn't get a little frustrated sometimes but I am finding it a lot easier now to go five or six days at a time without sexual release.

Lately, however, I've taken a rather severe blow in the form of finding out that I'll probably never be able to biologically father a child. All these years, I've been heaping all this pressure on myself during sex, feeling as though I've got to do my bit well and now it turns out it was for nothing. This latest bit of news makes me wonder if there's any point to sex now.

Of course, it's not just about baby-making. There is still a feeling of pleasure to be derived and the being intimate with the woman I love. But I can't help but feel that the whole act is now, sort of, absurd.

Instinctively, men are pre-dispositioned to spread their seed where-ever possible. This makes (not all, but a number who struggle to control that instinct) the males of the species prone to fleeting attractions and wanting to be with other women. I won't deny that I have always wondered what it would be like to have a chance with someone else. Is was that sort of thinking that contributed to my purchasing my belt and suggesting to my wife that she keep the keys to it.

But even if weren't belted, I would have no seed to spread. I have failed to fulfil one of my most basic instinctual and biological functions. It is this mindset that has questioned my attitute towards sex. Is it not like going to war with guns loaded full of blank rounds? Nothing is achieved, nothing is resolved, everyone just goes back all hot and bothered and you're right back where you started.

On the flip side though, whlst I love my belt for keeping me honest and for helping me to keep my hands occpied with more constructive tasks, I'm now associating it with my new feelings of inadequacy. Because I'm infertile, I don't deserve to experience carnal pleasures, and the belt is reminder that I'm not fit for the purpose.

I'm sure I'll get over this. The news was a severe shock and not one I ever expected to get. I don't want to come out the belt because I'll just turn into a masturbating wreck with no self control. But at the same time, as mentioned above, I can't help but think that it seems fitting that the best place for a reproductive organ that refuses to reproduce is locked inside a metal shield and that it doesn't deserve to see the light of day again... And this thought almost makes me resent the belt as the constant reminder that it is.

I feel so mixed up. The belt is a minor issue though. What's really eating at me now, is the prospect that my child will be genetically half my wife and half someone else entirely. There will be no me there at all. My DNA will die with me having never passed on.

No legacy, no continuation. Not in the physical sense. I may become a parent, but it will never be in the biological sense. And this upsets me greatly.

I feel like a terrible human being.
 
@Stargazer

Are you absolutely sure that you are completely sterile as I think that is very rare . I think quite a lot can be done to help you.

Obviously think about adoption .

Xx Wendy
 
It doesn't take reproduction to make a man. This IMO is the biggest fallacy in the world. A man is a person who keeps their commitments, and if father hood is a desire/goal for your relationship, then look towards other methods (Adoption etc). A co-worker, who I consider a friend was father to his wife's daughter from another relationship, and the pride he felt for helping raised her was very evident.

So keep your chin up, and if you are not in a good place I would make sure you are talking to your wife, and a counselor/pastor/therapist/life-coach to make sure you have your mourning period passed before going there. Once settled (hopefully successfully), there are multiple ways to make this happen that may include this fetish (or not) if you desire it.

Stargazer said:
It's been a mixed couple of months. The belt continues to do its job admirably and although there have been a couple of short spells of being released, I'm spending far more time locked than not now. It'd be a lie if I said I didn't get a little frustrated sometimes but I am finding it a lot easier now to go five or six days at a time without sexual release.

Lately, however, I've taken a rather severe blow in the form of finding out that I'll probably never be able to biologically father a child. All these years, I've been heaping all this pressure on myself during sex, feeling as though I've got to do my bit well and now it turns out it was for nothing. This latest bit of news makes me wonder if there's any point to sex now.

Of course, it's not just about baby-making. There is still a feeling of pleasure to be derived and the being intimate with the woman I love. But I can't help but feel that the whole act is now, sort of, absurd.

Instinctively, men are pre-dispositioned to spread their seed where-ever possible. This makes (not all, but a number who struggle to control that instinct) the males of the species prone to fleeting attractions and wanting to be with other women. I won't deny that I have always wondered what it would be like to have a chance with someone else. Is was that sort of thinking that contributed to my purchasing my belt and suggesting to my wife that she keep the keys to it.

But even if weren't belted, I would have no seed to spread. I have failed to fulfil one of my most basic instinctual and biological functions. It is this mindset that has questioned my attitute towards sex. Is it not like going to war with guns loaded full of blank rounds? Nothing is achieved, nothing is resolved, everyone just goes back all hot and bothered and you're right back where you started.

On the flip side though, whlst I love my belt for keeping me honest and for helping me to keep my hands occpied with more constructive tasks, I'm now associating it with my new feelings of inadequacy. Because I'm infertile, I don't deserve to experience carnal pleasures, and the belt is reminder that I'm not fit for the purpose.

I'm sure I'll get over this. The news was a severe shock and not one I ever expected to get. I don't want to come out the belt because I'll just turn into a masturbating wreck with no self control. But at the same time, as mentioned above, I can't help but think that it seems fitting that the best place for a reproductive organ that refuses to reproduce is locked inside a metal shield and that it doesn't deserve to see the light of day again... And this thought almost makes me resent the belt as the constant reminder that it is.

I feel so mixed up. The belt is a minor issue though. What's really eating at me now, is the prospect that my child will be genetically half my wife and half someone else entirely. There will be no me there at all. My DNA will die with me having never passed on.

No legacy, no continuation. Not in the physical sense. I may become a parent, but it will never be in the biological sense. And this upsets me greatly.

I feel like a terrible human being.
Click to expand...
 
Thank you, both of you.

You're both absolutely right.

I'm trying to pull out of this dive. It's very slow going, but it will happen. I guess it was a little too much for me to try and deal with. We're already looking to retest me to ether corroborate or contradict the last test to see where we go. We have a plan either way and we're a united front, so nothing will happen against anyone's will or better judgement.

The future is uncertain and maybe even not as I intended... But at least we have a route to take to build that future and I'll finish coming to terms with it before too long.
 
Normally around the end of a year, I try to look back at where things have gone wrong and where improvements can be made. What is clear from reading back some fo the things I've written, it is clear that I have plenty of room to do so.

Of the major setbacks regarding my wife and I starting our family, we're comforted that our chances are not as minimal as they could be. We need some tremendous luck for it to work, but it is possible. A fertility test taken after 3days of being belted showed that I was alright and that I wasn't being affected by this (still relatively) new lifestyle.

After nearly four months of wearing the belt, I'm not so much of a newbie to it anymore. I've learned to work around all the little complications that arise from wearing a belt, have adjusted my old routines to be more dynamic to allow me to stay clean and transitioned completely to the point where the belt is so normal to me, that the moments when it comes off, I feel so bare, so unusual, that I actually feel slightly uncomfortable.

But when it does come off, I also know that it is because my wife and I are about to have sex. I've never had erections on the scale that I do when we take the belt off. She has said that the sex we've been having, may be fairly brief, but it is so intense that she's never known it to be so good. When she told me this, I felt so relieved that she was gaining from the use of the belt. It was vindication for me choosing this option when she was so uncertain about it. At that point, it stopped being about controlling my masturbation and became more about saving myself for her.

The belt itself has needed a few tweaks here and there to make it viable. Sadly, it is par for the course with a cheap less refined build than many of the people here use. But it remains a solid and reliable device that is keeping me very honest and has yet to offer any suggestion that it will not stand up to the test of time. If the cheap belts needed an ambassador, then I would consider myself for the role. Chastity doesn't need to be an exclusive club. These accessible belts are a great way to experience this incredible lifestyle and are nowhere near as bad as many make them out to be. With a few vital modifications, they can be turned into viable long-term devices. You just need to invest the time in them and be a little patient while the belts morphs into the device you need it to be. But mine is proof that is does happen.

My wife has been the most splendid of keyholders. And though she has yet to weaponise my chastity and turn it into a way to coerce and influence my behaviour, she has on occasion hinted that she's not beyond doing so if she feels it necessary. Partly because the sex has been so much better than it used to be and also because we still want to create a sprog, she has allowed me regular release for us to be intimate. But it is not on a schedule. It is purely down to her. I don't know if it will be a day, two, three or even a week before the next time, so I'm always on the ready just in case.

Sometimes it is easier to manage than others. Sometimes, I'm so horny, so sexually charged, that I physically shake. I find it hard to concentrate on things and I'm touching her so much that she starts to get a little annoyed with the constant attention. I find though, that that the more we have sex, the more I want it. Once I breach the 72-80hour mark, I seem to gain back a little focus and can then ride it out a little easier.

Going into 2015, I anticipate some interesting times. Firstly, if we do get her pregnant, which is the ultimate goal, then I can expect longer and longer stints of abstinence in the belt than I have so far. Secondly, we'll both be looking to see where we can push ourselves to with this lifestyle. MAking small adjustments to the way we do things to make it a little more intense for each other. I'm not sure how we'll do this yet, but we both seem to be enjoying it so far so it seems only logical to slowly escalate until we feel we've reached an equilbrium that we're both happy and comfortable with.

The future looks fun... The future looks clamped in a metal belt. Long may it last.
 
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And just for the record...

The longest I've been between orgasms so far is 9 days 13 hours.

The longest spell belted was 6 days 16 minutes.

The belt came off briefly for a few minutes but went straight back on hence why I was forced to hold out for over 9 days before my relief came. I know these records do not compare to many set by other members on here, but for me, these feel like achievements.

I'm curious to see how far I can be pushed, but also scared to find out at the same time. But I guess that it is this ambivalence that make chastity such an exciting way to live.
 
Glad to hear that you worked out the kinks of the belt. It sounds like things are looking up for you. From my perspective on things, when at a low point things can only get better
 
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Things continue to go smoothly and trouble free. However, I have noticed a definite cycle starting to develop. My wife is enjoying having me belted because all my pent-up sexual energy is released in one huge bang and she's loving it. So she's tending to make sure that she doesn't allow me to be unloicked too regularly but still often enough that she gets what she wants.

Typically, at the moment, the longest she can hold out for is about 6 or 7 days. Once she's expecting a baby and we've become parents, I fully expect that to extend significantly upon which I'll 'really' discover what chastity can do to a man. I've found that the more I have sex or masturbate, the more I want to have sex or masturbate. But I do seem to adjust after a short while to the inactivity and it all settles down again.

Whilst at work yesterday afternoon, I was extremely bored and my A4 notepad and pen were nearby. I found myself scribbling the following poem about my experiences;

The Cycle

Day Zero, the moment of relief.
The best thing in the world, even if only brief.
The belt goes back on, locks into place.
I'm in for a ride, get ready to brace.

Day One is easy but the belt is a reminder
That I'm under control by my beloved keyholder.
Urges are mild and easy to control.
My sexual denial has yet to take its toll.

Day two is when it starts to get tough;
Constant fidgeting and thoughts of the good stuff.
In the past it was fixed with regular masturbation,
I now find other ways to tackle the frustration.

Day three; my whole body is fighting its celibacy.
My mind is distracted by thoughts of intimacy.
My penis throbs inside its metal prison
For it has been a while since it has arisen.

Day four; the calm breaks and gives in to desperation.
Clawing at the shield yields no satisfaction.
Erections now last hours at a time.
Without sex, the walls - soon - I will climb.

Day five; I'm stareting to find a new equilibrium.
Supressed, my desires are dialled down to minimum.
But it doesn't take much to peak my interest,
Avoiding those Tumblr blogs would be for the best.

Day six, and now things really don't seem so bad.
There's plenty of things other than sex to be had.
The belt and I have merged into one,
The worst now behind me, I can resume having fun.

Day seven, and I'm told we may use a key tonight.
My urges start raging and re-fuel my plight.
Sex is hard and fast, it's been driving me insane,
And then the cycle starts all over again!

Day zero...

'RW' Stargazer - 20.01.15
 
Before you give up, you should try a belt with a bigger tube. Our Walter Goethals belt has plenty of room for growth. I have never had an issue with edema.

Good Luck, whatever you do.

FlyBoyCFI
Down & Locked...Check
 
No giving up happening here. Quite the contrary. As the last couple of messages have indicated, all is going well. Since the last big belt mod, I have put nearly 125 days of locked-in time on the clock and, right now - as of this very moment - setting a new personal record for time spent belted without it coming off. And given that my wife has just started her period and menstrual blood makes me heave, it'll be a few days more before it comes off again.
 
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