I have been with my significant other for a little over five months. He recently told me about his experience with chastity and asked me to be his keyholder. I have tried it for two weeks and I do not like it. He enjoys it so much that he locks himself up. Is it possible to have a healthy relationship without chastity after he has experienced and liked it? Thank you.
That is a hard one to say, as each person will be different. Relationships are meant to be mutually satisfying and work best between people who have compatible outlooks. You do not like what you have seen of chastity and that is perfectly okay. No one should make you feel bad about it. he likes chastity and has decided if you will not key hold then he will just lock himself up. How does that make you feel? Is that something you can live with? Will he seek another keyholder? If he can give you the 'healthy' relationship you want then maybe it can work out from here.
Misstie… MY opinion is you should really try to meet him at least somewhere in the middle… Does not have to be all or nothing. I know for a fact it took a lot of courage for him to share this with you. AS I WOULD imagine he is submissive by nature… he would probably agree with you to keep peace in the relationship and please you.. but inside he will long for chastity and may grow to resent you… That I saw from experience… I have been in his exact shoes (or pumps LOL LOL) twice in my life in previous relationships.. and will NEVER GO BACK! So I guess just five months into this relationship you have to ask yourself how much he means to you? Obviously enough to seek advice? If not..be honest with him… cut your losses and move on…. I you can not share in each others kinks you both might be best of with someone else! Good luck and I really do respect you for seeking advice PET
Thank you for the advice. I don't want him to be a yes man to me. I like being able to touch him and make him grow hard. I like the intimacy of having him inside of me. I enjoy feeling him orgasm in me. With chastity, you are withholding orgasm.
welcome to CM @misstie I would ask the same question why don't you like chastity. It's not irreversible or probably permanent. Just do some talking and see what you sort out. Xx Wendy
I must apologise I missed your last post. You have the key and can unlock him when you want . Chastity is not permanent denial you control when what and how. Xx Wendy
DEar @misstie - I am not a Yes man to her. I am a more pleasant, observing and caring husband - so she says but I am no dog to her. Her powers are genuine but only worth something as long as I will accept her powers and her judgement. I do Oh, she can make me hard, in fact much more than before - LOL! . I used to wank a lot on my own, so often I had to finish off sessions with her by a handjob to even get over the edge... ;-( She loves penetration and she gets it quite often. I have been trained to endure penetrative sex without stumbling over the edge. I am not allowed to get release, but I tremble along with her as she goes.... Magnificent! That moment of intimacy is nothing short of having and O. My skills in oral sex and my awareness are so much better than earlier on.... Maybe You should try and talk/write to other females about their experiences and the development over time. It takes time to reach the optimum for botg parties, but when it does it sparkles! I am sure my wife @DREWife - would be more than happy to give you some insights to have she came from vanilla and now has embraced the lifestyle. I am sure that she things that I am still her MAN....
I suppose it will depend upon what the man's idea of chastity is. if he wants to be locked up permanently, denied penetrative sex, sees himself as basically submissive, doesn't view intimacy as something you can get with sexual penetration, doesn't want ever to orgasm, then it will be hard to find workable solutions for misstie. If he would be happy to be locked by his own hand until misstie wants him sexually and will graciously and ethusiastically respond so she feels wanted and desired, then it might work.
I think I am willing tonmeet him some place because I love him and want him in my life. Ultimately it is not fair to him if all my desires are met while he just goes along with whatever I want to please me. I just cannot bring myself to do everything. He wants to be denied orgasm, and that is what gets me excited. He wants to be punished, and that is just not in my nature. I thank everyone for the kind replies. It is very much appreciated.
My opinion will be biased, but I also agree that chastity is possible in a healthy relationship and does not have to mean the end for sex. My wife and I began a chastity lifestyle for me last year. She is not a huge fan of bondage and related kinks except for a bit of 'playtime' in the bedroom where we tend to take it in turns. Chastity, on the other hand, she has grown accustomed to as a normal thing for me. She was a little cautious at first but has grown to rather enjoy it. Because I can no longer self-pleasure, all my sexual energy is now directed straight to her. She is reaping the benfits of this with the best sex we've ever had in all the many, many years we've been together. Now we both quite like the lifestyle. She's not a slave-driver. She's not a hard nosed dominant who makes me answer to her. We live as equals in almost every way. Maybe this is his way of making you feel secure whilst satisfying his wants. As a rule, many men are not that willing to hand over the keys to their sexuality so easily, maybe don't balk at the idea without considering all the sides of how it can be done. If you want to know how chastty can work in an otherwise (mostly) vanilla household, feel free to get in touch with me. I'd be happy to help appease any concerns.
i wear chastity now and then and sex is still a big thing in my relationship and hell if my girl says she doesnt want me to wear it fine i have a very small submissive side just talk thats wat usual fixs the problems in my relationship thats if im not half passed out when we talk
Think we have come to an agreement. Thanks again everyone. And thank you lockedchris79 for being so understanding.