Hi all, Because of all kind of reasons I only managed today to put an "about me" text in my profile. What is not in that text on my profile is that I'm kind of a kink-vanilla (does this term exist?) person and what I will explain now in this message: My wife and I are married for 24 years and have had our relational dips though this period. It came down to a point where it was really on the edge of ending when we both decided to do something about it (I never stopped seeing my wife as my winning lottery ticket and fortunately for me she also still felt love for me). So after some seriously professional coaching therapy and joined efforts to start and actually change things that we do or didn't do any more we climbed from the bottom lands again to the high lands (English is not my native language but I trust you will understand what I mean with this). I'm not sure whether we will fit here as I'm not a sub to my wife and she is not a dom to me. We are more vanilla than kink. For us chastity is a tool that we want to try to upgrade our sex life, I believe that thanks to chastity (in combination with all the other things as mentioned above) we will be able to offer each other what we used to do when we were just married. I do respect everyone's choices and preferences and hope that some vanilla preference is also welcome. I joined this site to find interesting people to exchange thoughts and learn more about the wonderful results chastity can bring to contribute to our relation. This off course does not exclude that I still am very much interested in several kink topics (I did after all - when we as a couple were in the bottom land - took the occasion to explore what is out there ), Well I believe this together with my "about you text" in my profile give you an idea about me. When you would require more information, just ask. Thanks for reading my introduction message and profile text. brgds Onescotchaday
Hiya Welcome to CM I am sure you will find something of interest for you both. Be nice to hear from your wife . Xx Wendy
Hey and welcome. Just read Your "about me .. " text. Very nice - and many a new member could learn from You. Thanks for taking the time to participate in making this forum stand out from the crowd I can see You have been playing some in there dark with the chastity theme, and now You finally have Your wife in on it, at a level she seems comfortable with. Great! A full belt is and has always been a game breaker for many vanilla-wifes I'm sure., - And no wonder! It's kind of deja-vue that Your reason for this move of Yours, is to enhance- maybe even save your mariage and to have some more intense sex with Your wife, like when You were young lovers. That is more or less he same reason many of us join the band in he first place, - but for many of us it changes - step by step a parth into something more of a true Female Lead Lifestyle, and sex for You is more and more a matter of improving your capabilities in the fine art of giving oral sex - to her... And You end up being denied for longer and longer and learn to take care of all the house chores and pamper and shower her in every way..LOL! I started out like You, no more than 2 years from now, and today I have been denied for more than 400 days- no release at all, - ( no milking or other semi-pleasure tactics ) - Just some wicked edging from time to time, and penetration, - with ABSOLUTELY no: "Ups - I could not hold it back). I do the house Chores, the shopping, the cooking , ironing and all, and I love it all. She has blossomed in the most wonderful way, -and just to witness her self awareness, her radiant powers and all, makes me so warm inside... I Am not saying that You Two can't keep it as a sex-enhancer tool for both of you, but the onward ride is amazingly rewarding on so many levels, and a completely new dimension, impossible to grasp until you are entangled.The transformation is impossible to describe - so I will leave it here - You have to experience it - together. And My wife? - @DREWife She loves the turn of events - And there is NO LOOKING BACK! P.S. 30 days for a start is very heavy - or perhaps too optimistic. Fingers crossed!;-9 A PA would take the temptations away and make it impossible for You to cheat- pullout and reinsert, - so maybe You should warm her up in the near future for such a fine little helper;-) Best regards BlueEyes
@BlueEyes Many thanks for your comments and for sharing some of your experience with me, I really appreciate it. For the time being (only just started sharing this with my wife) I have no further intentions than for this chastity journey to enhance our sex life and relation. A PA is a bit drastic for me, doesn't that make a mess during toilet visits? Anyway, I will see what the future brings; but I feel confident that I do not need it because I consider myself not being the guy cheating on the purpose of why we do this. And that is exactly for me to build up by saving my orgasms for when we have intimacy followed by intercourse. All the other intimate moments we now share since we are on the High Lands again like cuddling, spooning, embracing, flirting etc. will only help me to build up for when the moment is there . 30 days: maybe you are right, future will tell us. The period itself is less important, but I believe it at least needs to be long enough to make the difference perceptible for both of us. You are in 400 days denial, wow respect! But when without milking or something, isn't that too long for sake of healthy plumbing in the body? When you Google this, you find the most various opinions from "no health issue at all" to "21 orgasms a month as a minimum" and everything in between..I suppose when edging the pre-cum you produce may be enough to drain the plumbing, I do not know. So may I ask you as I'm sure you checked this aspect in one way or the other since you are living this lifestyle? Thanks in advance for your opinions on this. Best regards, Onescotchaday
Let me take over and answer that;-) From all I and we have gathered of information it remains a myth that "pipes needs to be cleaned". I know that anything from prostate cancer to blue balls have been put in the table, but I have learned that the body itself manage to adjust in a clever way - reabsorbing whatever surplus is produced. So the red flag is a scam to get us poor ladies to fiddle way too much with his packet! Clever little scheme.... in my opinion;-) Precum is to the best of my knowledge coming from the uretha itself;-) and for sure BluEyes produces excessive amounts when being edged;-) I think that without edging and exercise ( I allow him some penetration - but no cumming! ) we might see my toy suffer somewhat in the long run, and we can't have that - can we? ;-) The pee issue with a PA- is no problem. BlueEyes is only allowed to sit down while peeing. Even when he is without PA and cage. He is never to pee standing again. I have a growing habit of making things permanent for BlueEyes. Makes everything so simple, don't You think? I have to agree with others that only with a PA - you can't pull out. Period!. BlueEyes is to take out the ring when I order penetration, and to reinsert it afterwards. I have no problems with a this necessity, to ensure that he can not cheat nor get defeated by temptation. You will learn to know what I am talking about once You start to go for long lock-ups. But please leave it to her to decide, - that is a vital part of the magic.
Dear @DREWife , many thanks for your reply. It is obvious that possible effects regarding health effects of long (or permanent) ejaculation abstinence merit a more thorough study from my side. Later I will probably start a new thread where I will communicate some links for everyone to judge. I'm not medically trained so I will not comment and leave the judgement of the links to all of you being active or interested in the lifestyle (all on CM individually). Precum indeed does not come from the prostate gland (my wrong assumption), apparently it comes from the Cowper's Gland. I assumed that it would come from the prostate because when I release some it just feels like it comes from the same organ than ejaculate. But as said above, I will further dig into what I can find about this issue and report the links in a later new threat. And I thank you very much for your golden advice "But please leave it to her to decide, - that is a vital part of the magic." You are so right! Might I add that I really admire the way you, your husband (and Anne?), live this lifestyle? I've read quite a bit on your husband's member page. It feels good to know that chastity is not (only) some twisted preference but a common thing practised by common people. best regards, Onescotchaday
@Onescotchaday That last sentence OMG you are going to have to do some very fancy foot work with that one on so many accounts . Good luck with that . Xx Wendy
Dear Wendy, I'm afraid I don't quite understand what you mean with that last sentence. can you please clarify to me? thanks Onescotchaday
Precum does indeed com from the Cowper's gland. And while there are many studies on what happens if you don't ejaculate on a regular basis, it should be noted that there is no definitive answer either way. Which would suggest that there is no firm evidence to suggest regular ejaculation is required to maintain your health. Wet dreams seem to be the body's way of providing an ejaculation if ever one is 'required' for whatever reason.
@Onescotchaday The great thing about male chastity is that it can be practised on any level and everyone benefits.Don't feel you should apologise for not being kinky.It's a pity more couples don't realise what a great tool chastity is to find a better equilibrium in their relationship. Don't worry about Wendy:she has a common preference for twisted humour and we love it.
@seasoned - simply could not have put it any better! Well Done! And @Wendygirl From What I have read You are delightfully twisted Morning to You all - I'm off to the airport in a rush to meetings in Copenhagen in the Church ministry. See That's REALLY TWISTED! ;-)