Spanked when bad

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by nickep.lar, May 20, 2015.

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  1. nickep.lar
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    nickep.lar Active member

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    #1 nickep.lar, May 20, 2015
    My wife use to spank me when I´m touching my penis, with or without my cage, but that is a sexual spanking, it makes her horny.

    But now I want her to spank me, hard, when I`ve been bad and done something bad or wrong. Like a old time spanking that don´t have anything with sex to do. And I want her to spank me so it hurts and not being any plesure at all for me, just a hard punishment. But I don´t know how to tell her that, I´m worried she will think that I may use it as a excuse when I want a spanking. I do something bad conscious and she has to spank me. So I have to get her to understand I never will use that card.

    Do you have any good suggestions and advice?
     
  2. nickep.lar
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    nickep.lar Active member

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    #2 nickep.lar, May 20, 2015
    What I mean is that I will be really afraid of that kind of spanking and punishment and never will try to make it happend.
     
  3. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    #3 Mistress B, May 20, 2015
    @nickep.lar That is surely, up to her. Topping from the bottom is not too helpful.
     
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  4. nickep.lar
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    nickep.lar Active member

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    #4 nickep.lar, May 20, 2015
    Thank you Mistress B! And that is exactly what I don´t want to happend, thats my issue and that´s whay I beg for help!
     
  5. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    #5 Wendygirl, May 20, 2015
    Lol
    Such a tough question but just be patient it may well come .

    Xx Wendy
     
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  6. nickep.lar
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    nickep.lar Active member

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    #6 nickep.lar, May 20, 2015
    Thank you Wendygirl. We have talked about it a little a year ago but it disappeared and I did´nt want to nag but now I really want it to happend so I can feel that I must love and fear her if you know what I mean!
     
  7. KeySafe
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    KeySafe Owner of: keysafe.com and tpe.com among others.

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    #7 KeySafe, May 21, 2015
    In any relationship, both persons need to get their needs met. If you need the spankings, or even if you just want them, make sure she knows that. You do not always get what you want, but the odds of getting it are much higher if your partner knows you want it. The key is not to ask for a spanking NOW, instead let her know that spanking is another option for her to use sometime in the future. Also explain why you want this. Perhaps:

    • as a deterrent to discourage repeats
    • as a way to be forgiven IE as penance
    • something else
    It's also a good idea to have this discussion at a time when she is not in the middle of something else. Perhaps tell her you have something to discuss, and make an 'appointment' with her. That way her mind will not as likely be on a thousand other issues and she will be more open to listening to what you have to say.
     
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  8. nickep.lar
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    nickep.lar Active member

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    #8 nickep.lar, May 21, 2015
    I don´t want them but sometimes I need them as you wrote "as a deterrent to discourage repeats" and so on and we have talked a little about it but it was a year ago and after that she have had a really full time at work so she has been to tired. But she keeps me in chastity and spank me sometimes, as sexual pleasure. When we talked about it she said that I maybe will play that card as a way to get spanked but it´s not at all like that. I mean a spanking that really hurts and I will not take any pleasure in it at all. Something like a naughy child getting spanked, no pleasure just punishment. So I will learn who is in charge and makes the rules.

    But you nailed it when you said I should make a appointment with her so we can talk about it nice and quiet with nothing disturbing. Great idea, thank you KeySafe!!!!
     
  9. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    #9 Mistress B, May 21, 2015
    @nickep.lar Have you thought of purchasing a Dragon cane and hanging it on the bedroom door. :) I do hope you don't regret it. lol.
     
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  10. nickep.lar
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    nickep.lar Active member

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    #10 nickep.lar, May 21, 2015
    We have it all, whips, brushes, paddels, carpetbeater and other stuff so the tools are there and being used on my ass but not in that way!
    But get you point:p:spank:
     
  11. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    #11 Mistress B, May 21, 2015
    Then, you cant do a great deal more, my sweet.
     
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  12. nickep.lar
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    nickep.lar Active member

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    #12 nickep.lar, May 21, 2015
    I will but the problem is to say it the right way so she don´t misstake me.
     
  13. nickep.lar
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    nickep.lar Active member

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    #13 nickep.lar, May 22, 2015
    Ok, I took a deep breath last night and asked my wife if we could take some time tonight and talk about some importent stuff regarding how to take our life to a further point and she was very interested, hope she still are after tonight! Keep your fingers crossed please!
     
  14. fabricator
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    fabricator Active member

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    #14 fabricator, May 22, 2015
    I get spankings.We slowly moved to it over a few years,and one night we were just goofing around and she started play spanking me. The next day I noticed I felt better was happy and all the stress was gone.I started reading about stress relief and spankings,found out they work for that.Now when she notices I am grouchy she knows its time for a spanking.Other times I feel the stress building and ask for it.She says she don't like spanking me ,but likes the results she gets.I don' t care for the pain of the spanking itself,as she has learned to really swing the paddle hard ( we have several),but always feel great a hour or so after it is over,and thankful she will do this for me.
     
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  15. nickep.lar
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    nickep.lar Active member

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    #15 nickep.lar, May 22, 2015
    My wife love to spank me so thats not the problem, but just in sexual way not punishment. And i´m not allowed to ask her for spanking, sometimes she says it´s time or she ask me if a want a spanking and then I have to say yes otherwise she gets grumpy. But as i wrote I want and need it for punishment too, with no sex in it.

    But I´m really glad that you have found a way that works for you and hope you wil be spanked hard for this note. LoL:spank:;)
     
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  16. Billus
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    Billus Laconic.

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    #16 Billus, May 22, 2015
    Maybe when you talk to your wife about this issue, you should mention differentiating between a 'light' spanking for sexual pleasure, and a 'hard' spanking for punishment. Perhaps designate one or two paddles or canes to be used only for each, so there's no confusion.
     
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  17. nickep.lar
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    nickep.lar Active member

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    #17 nickep.lar, May 22, 2015
    Yes, thats my ìntention have already thought about it, that´s the real issue. But a great idea with designated tools, we have one hanger for different paddels, brushes, cane and so and in that case I can put up one more, just for punishment tools and the other one is for sexual pleasure. Thank you!!
     
  18. nickep.lar
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    nickep.lar Active member

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    #18 nickep.lar, May 24, 2015
    I have talk with my wife now, and we will try some. At first it will be maintanence spanking every sunday at 5 pm swedish time, and just spanking no kind of sex involved. And she will put up a list, every time I do or say something stupid or bad I will get a mark, after five marks a really hard spanking and cornertime for at least one hour. My chastitycage have nothing to do with this, it will be there no matter what happens. I´m quit happy now, we will se after 5 pm today!
     
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  19. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    #19 jemima, May 24, 2015
    It might not be as nice as you wanting it to be tho. It hurts a lot.
     
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  20. nickep.lar
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    nickep.lar Active member

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    #20 nickep.lar, May 24, 2015
    It did hurt, like hell but somehow in a good way. I know my place now a little more and it will be the same next sunday same time. After a hour in corner I was more clean in my mind. I´m pretty shure this is what I need. Writing this standing up, sitting is no option! And quit full in my cage, still totaly naked no more clothes today!
     
  21. Billus
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    Billus Laconic.

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    #21 Billus, May 24, 2015
    And how did your KH feel about it? Enjoy it? Chore?
     
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  22. nickep.lar
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    nickep.lar Active member

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    #22 nickep.lar, May 24, 2015
    I´m pretty shure she liked it and even more, she smiled a lot when she opend the door in my "corner" and told me I have to be naked the rest of the day so she could see my butt. But what do toy mean by "chore"? For me or her?
     
  23. Billus
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    Billus Laconic.

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    #23 Billus, May 24, 2015
    I meant, did she enjoy it, or was it a chore for her. Sounds like the former.
     
  24. nickep.lar
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    nickep.lar Active member

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    #24 nickep.lar, May 24, 2015
    Well, you´r right in both ways. At first I think she found it like a chore but when it startet I´m pretty shure she loved it, I could hear it on here voice, and when she closed and locked the door to my corner, I could see it her face and eyes. And when she let me out she said it´s soon sunday again, or five stripes at the list. So, first chore, then enjoy!
     
  25. nickep.lar
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    nickep.lar Active member

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    #25 nickep.lar, May 25, 2015
    Today my ass is blue/black/green and it might just be ok until it´s time again next sunday. This is my new life and I like it, maybe sometime I will love it. And as long this is going on there will be no release from my cage except cleaning and shaving, so goodby little penis!
     
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