Just starting out...

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Missy Dott, Jun 18, 2015.

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  1. Missy Dott
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    Missy Dott New member

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    Hey everyone!

    I was recently approached to become a long distance keyholder. Like different countries. This is something pretty much completely new to me, so I will take any advice you can give. Right now, I'm working on getting a contract set up with my guy, and could definitely use advice on that. I've been involved in BDSM stuff for a few months now, but only with munches/play parties and light stuff in the bedroom. Any advice is helpful!
     
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  2. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    My advice is simple. Don't take any nonsense from them. There are many timewasters and it's best to weed those out before you waste your valuable time. Oh, and have fun.
     
  3. MockingJay
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    MockingJay Member

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    Most important bit of advice for any kink activity I've found, if you aren't enjoying yourselves, something is wrong
     
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  4. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Banned

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    #4 Mascara^Snake, Jun 19, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2015
    Hello Dott and welcome to the mansion.
    Just be aware that most of your "online subs" will not be doing what you've asked them to do at all or even staying locked while you think they are.
    I've dabbled with the online thing over the years and I can advise you on various methods of ensuring that they do. However I must warn you that most (once you do find a way of ensuring they stay locked) simply fall off and disappear.
    I can actually recommend some faithful and honest subs from here too if you are interested. Do drop me a line here or better still say hello in Mini chat when I'm around.
    All the best

    Amanda x
     
  5. Sunny
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    Sunny Long term member

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    Frankly, I never understood the idea of becoming an "online sub"
    What kind of excitement could one get from this?
     
  6. Rachael_
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    Rachael_ Guest

    @Sunny
    Can get lots depends how much magination you have, plus lock box.
     
  7. maid jessica 43
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    maid jessica 43 Long term member

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    Welcome......curtsy
     
  8. chastiff
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    chastiff Long term member

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  9. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    Not done this myself, but top of list IMO has got to be how you can regularly verify and enforce. Verification can include e.g. skype with device including numbered security seal as well as normal lock. Enforcement not easy either - depends a bit of if it's all cyber or includes F2F; also if any other handles you have or can get and sanctions (ideally ones he won't want) if he doesn't comply.

    And I totally agree with and endorse Mascara^'s reply.
     
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  10. Miss_Red_Dragon
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    Miss_Red_Dragon A girl can never have too many padlocks!

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    I have a long distance chastity slave, we use keysafe.org (he has a safe in which his keys are placed) The site is free and you don't have to have a safe to use it. There are some nice features to use like Fond of Writing Tasks and Groundings and my personal favourite the chastity roulette wheel. I also use writeforme.org another free site.
    Please do be aware that what has been said by Mascara Snake and Joroincharge about online subs simply falling away and disappearing has been my experience also, and I'd recommend you take up her offer off trusted guys from this site.
    I do wish you lots of fun and enjoyment but go into this with your eyes open!
     
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  11. cogman
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    cogman Long term member

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    Mistress and I began online nearly 4 years ago. and yes it was a challenge, we dropped in and out of touch at various times for various reasons, we were separated by 1500Kms. We found various means for accountability, various tamper seals, photos of the current weather forecast and tamper seal, later we moved to supervised edging on Skype, and supervised resealing of her cock. The distance did present a challenge as we did come to realize that we both wanted more than just online, which was one of the main reasons for the last break we had.

    You don't need a key safe or chronovault, cool gadgets but you don't need them for accountability. A piece of bent pipe with a hole through it and a numbered tag is all you need or if you look at my profile we have a simple electricity meter tamper tag threaded through the lock to stop a key going in....I am actually sealed in this way presently as Mistress is away for two weeks :( While I can physically break the seal any time I like, Mistress will know and I really cant cheat.

    it took us 3 years to actually meet, and that was a awe sum event, and we sure messed up the bed..lol

    While we don't live together we spend a lot of time together, more time than most married people, Mistress moved to my location. She keeps me locked 24/7 although a month or so ago she made me not wear the cock cage for a week, and I actually found that uncomfortable.

    I guess I am trying to say online can work, but in the end we all end up craving the touch of flesh to complete us. This is true for a mistress or a sub. I am sure you will find a lot of wastes of time. Chastity is not for the faint of heart, whether your a sissy or masculine sub to remain caged is a challenge and any man that succeeds in long term chastity is to be respected (if I do say so myself lol)...I hope you find a worthy sub :)
     
  12. ValDeMaras
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    ValDeMaras Member

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    I have just started out herr myself. So far my only option has been self-locking games as an easy way of finding out more about this lifestyle - and my place in it The topic of online keyholders interests me and I'd love to learn more about it!
     
  13. secretdan
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    secretdan Active member

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    Being an online sub is a great way for one who is curious to test the waters and she if it's something they really want to pursue. Another great website is thechaste.com. It's a great way to manage the locking of an online sub!
     
  14. ValDeMaras
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    ValDeMaras Member

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    Thank you, I'll take a look at the site. I suppose being an online sub is great but I'm afraid there is a huge surplus of subs and very few doms around?
     
  15. secretdan
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    secretdan Active member

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    It's true that many of the members of this site are subs, but there's a number of some as well. I've noticed there are also quite a few switches as well (myself included). That's one of the great things about the site. You can be a keyholder to multiple people but also have your own keyholder. What it's really missing is dommes. If you really want a mistress it may be hard to find one here (hard, not impossible), but if you don't mind a male holding your keys (hey, I'm straight and it didn't bother me), it's a great site.

    Having said that, if any of you very lovely ladies want a few online playthings you may consider checking the site out.
     
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  16. ValDeMaras
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    ValDeMaras Member

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    You certainly have a point there: I would be thrilled to have one of the stunningly sexy crossdressers, for example, as a keyholder. But these are still early days and who knows what an intriguing story can be spun out of this
     
  17. secretdan
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    secretdan Active member

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    One of the benefits of having a switch as your first keyholder is they knew exactly what you're going through and can help you adjust to the new lifestyle. Just start chatting with people. We kinksters are fun to get to know =D
     
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