Caged Wolf? How an Alpha became the Omega...

And, as of 5:15 this morning i am locked up again for he start of my 5 day "punishment". It's been about 17 hours, and all is well!

 

Want to apologize ahead of time for this post, It is not a great one, but i needed someplace to put these thoughts so i could look, reread and sort through them.

Yesterday was one messed up day... First time i have had a panic attack like that, and hopefully the last, am out of Jailbird until probably Sunday night, and was a major disappointment to Mistress Wolf last night.

To explain, as most know i am a shop mechanic doing auto and truck repair, yesterday when i got to work my boss tells me there is a van that needs a heater core and thermostat replaced, turns out to be one very similar to my mom's (the one she was driving when she died). Very difficult to work on, not the job itself, but the psychological part, especially being under the dash. About 2/3 of the way thru the job i had a panic attack while laying on the floor under the dash (basically put myself in mom's place during the accident), and when i tried to get out I got pinned in by the dash and seats, which just ramped everything up even more. Needless to say, by the time i finished the job i was a mess emotionally. I talked to the boss once early on in the job about it, and he just said "yep" and walked away. When i talked to him later and told him what was going on and why he said "Oh, I never really thought about it that way.. sorry"

After Little One went to bed Mistress Wolf "asked" if i felt up to some Nakee fun time, i told her "Yes" and went to take off the Jailbird and get a shower. While in the shower the emotions of the day started to get to me, and by the time Mistress was ready for me i was not able to function, at all... Total failure on my part... Mistress Wolf was very disappointed, but also understood what was going on and apologized for asking. My reply was that She should not be sorry, as i had felt okay when when She asked. i didn't know it was going to come back and affect me that much. i am So sorry Mistress....

After all this Mistress told me to leave the cage off until after our weekend (we are taking the RV out), and that She had planned to have me remove it Friday, but i will be on the road in a truck all day today so told me "just leave it off"..... Feel like crap today for how things worked out. Awesome way to go into the weekend, especially since my birthday is Sunday....

Going to spend the drive today trying to get my head on straight and get myself back in the proper frame of mind again.

 

Feeling better this morning, slept through the night, actually feeling like me again. Hoping to keep it going into the weekend, and get back to where I should be.

Watching tv last night, i think it was Mom's, and one of the ladies met the the guy who lived right above them, hit it off and went back to his place to talk. Went to use the bathroom, then snuck a peek at the bedroom, found it set up as a full dungeon! When She turned around he was standing there in his boxers and a t-shirt with a collar around his neck, holding the leash. Offered it to her, She told him "sit, Stay" and ran out of the apartment.

Mistress Wolf was almost in tears from laughing so hard!! i mentioned "See, collars and leashes are almost mainstream..." Mistress told me "I'm not quite there yet.." We joked about it, but there was some seriousness in the conversation also, opened the door a little more on where She wants our relationship to go. It was even funnier because when She talks to our dog she calls him "Puppy" even though he's heading for 14, but when I'm around and here Her ask him "What are you doing puppy?" i'll respond with something like ":just starting a load of laundry M." She'll walk in where i am, look at me, and say "I was talking to the dog...".. me "oh, sorry.... "

 

Yes Wishful, life happens, i just have to figure out how to work with the hand I'm dealt, as in life there is no option to fold and wait for the next hand...

Yesterday was my birthday, Mistress Wolf, Little One , and i took the RV out for the weekend, had a good time. Mistress wanted to be pleasured Friday night after Little One went to bed, so off to the bedroom we went, things got started, and going pretty well, right up to the point i closed my eyes and immediately fell asleep.... Mistress Wolf was not amused, as She was just getting revved up, though She did not punish me beyond a harsh word and a cold shoulder the rest of the night.

Sunday night, after getting home and unloading the RV, i was given another opportunity to attend Her needs, with much better results. She also asked me what She could do for me as it was my Birthday. i replied "if it pleases you, tease me, touch me, use me and don't allow me to finish, then tell me to lock up right afterwards.". She just smiled...

After considerable foreplay i was told to spray and wrap. Once done preparing myself Mistress told me that She was not pleased with my oral skills, and told me what She wanted done differently. As things got going She also gave me instructions on how She wanted me to touch, ect, which is another small step forward for her! After a couple of good climaxes She stopped me so She could catch her breath, then allowed me to continue with PIV attention. i was not able to feel much of anything at this point (and didn't feel anything until about 3 am this morning!), but when all was done, i was given 6 more days of lockup (Mistress lost count at 6 orgasms again!), then She added 1 extra day because it was my birthday! I still had 2 1/2 days on the book, so that now puts me at 9 1/2 glorious days of locked time!

Once we showered and i put Mistress to bed i locked up, so my clock started running at 11 pm last night, but was also told i will be taken out on Friday night as we are taking a week of vacation, and She does not want me locked up when driving for that long. i hope She changes her mind and allows me to remain locked for the entire 9 1/2 days, unless She chooses to use me again and add more days to the book!

Loving how things are going again!

 

While She was getting ready for her shower last night I also asked if i will be given locked time for any Climax She has. She replied that any She gave herself would not count. i asked "What about those given by others? i would be honored to receive locked time for pleasure given by another lover.". She just smiled.....

 

With a recent change of commitments (had to step back form the M/C i was joining while i heal from life's asswhooping) Friday night is now available to accept an invitation to a special party with our Social Club! This is a Staff Only night, partially to set up for a huge fundraisier Saturday (which we will not be attending), but also a play night for the staff or our club and a few people from a couple of other clubs who share the facility. This will be interesting!!!!


i am now at 32 hours locked, still over 8 days to go, this is more than i hoped for, as i am pretty sure there will be more days added before i get through these! The joy of knowing Mistress Wolf is finally, truly onboard with my being locked, and being involved with setting the duration is even more awesome than i had imagined. i think She is also seeing the benefits of taking that step toward total control!

Happy caged wolf!

 

It's been a long, strange trip for sure, and things changed in ways that i had not imagined... some good, some bad, some just heartbreaking, but together they are helping define who i am, and strengthening my resolve to serve Mistress Wolf to the absolute best of my abilities.

 

SO GLAD CM is back!!! So much going on, and no place else to share it.

Things have been on a pretty even keel lately, and holding steady as She goes... My locked time went up to 9 1/2 days, then got down to 2 1/2 days before being told to unlock for a few days. Current days owed is 10 1/2, will probably be locked back up just before bed tonight.

Biggest change is Mistress Wolf has been chatting with a gentleman, got all the way to e-mailing back and forth, but then found he was not quite what he had told Her he was. She is not interested in someone who can't be honest about themselves from the start, so pulled the plug. i am back to seeking possibles again, have a couple of guys who hope to Chat with her, and a few more who have eliminated themselves from the pool for various reasons. She is getting excited when She finds someone who intrigues Her, and i think the day is coming soon when She may take the big step.

We also attended a Polyamory social over the weekend, that was some very good info and made some connections. This is something Mistress Wolf brought up to me, the thought of a long term, semi-permanent possibly live-in third. It changed the search criteria some, but WOW!!! i am so happy and excited in the direction it is all going!

 

Man, i mis-typed in my last post! i currently owe 14 1/2 days locked, not the 10 1/2 as posted....

Was not given instruction or permission to lock last night, was hoping to as the first overnight seems to help it settle into place better before going off to work, but i will, of course, do as i am told.

Hard for me to believe i owe Mistress Wolf over 2 weeks of lock in time! amazing what a difference a few months makes!

 

This week is not going as well as hoped... Still not locked, owed 14 1/2 days, and have had no chance to pleasure Mistress Wolf. Have not felt well all week, low grade migraine, etc. It is starting to get old already!

 

When I got home and was getting out of the shower i asked if I should take 1/2 a Cialis... Mistress Wolf said "Yes"...

It HAS taken effect already, i'm either going to have a very happy Mistress, or be very frustrated tonight

 

WOOHOO, another 8 days owed, that brings the current locked clock up to 22 days owed! Hoping to go into lookup this weekend and see if i can make the whole run, Mistress Wolf will probably not allow me to stay locked that long, She is starting to enjoy adding days too much!

About a week ago Mistress Wolf and i were online and saw a picture of a lady with nippple clamps on. Mistress commented "No, ouch", and i said i would like to try them, just to see. Mistress looked at me funny and asked why, i replied "As sensitive as my nipples are getting now it just seems like it would heighten the experience". she seemed to ponder and accept that answer. A couple of days later i had a Doctors appointment, and stopped at an Adult Shop and bought a set of adjustable Bullnosed nipple clamps with a chain. When i bought them home Mistress looked at them and said "Okay".
Yesterday Mistress was chatting on FB with me and mentioned "Tonight we should try those things you bought."... my reply "Yes Please". i then told her about some of the conversation i had with the Lady shop owner when i bought the clamps. She had also suggested a flogger (Picked right up on what i was, Ii think!)., and showed me a couple of them that were almost all noise that were excellent for Mistress like mine who were not quite ready to inflict actual pain. When i explained it to Mistress Wolf She said "Sounds interesting" so i suggested She go with me next week and talk with the Shop owner herself about them. Much to my surprise Mistress said it sounded like a good idea!

Anyway, last night during Nakey Fun Time, Mistress Wolf looks at me and asks "So, I think it's time to try the clamps, do you want me to put them on, or what?", i asked to do it the first time, not knowing how it would feel, and, when the first clamp closed, OMG, i was instantly hard! When the second one went on it was even better!. As i lay there feeling the exquisite pain/pleasure it was like my awareness was turned up to 11. Then, when i rolled over to lick and caress Mistress's beautiful bod, the chain swung twisting my now very aware nipples back and forth.... WOW!!! It didn't hurt, but i so wanted Mistress to take control and grab the chain and use it to move me wherever She wanted me! The thought crossed my mind of how cool it would be to have her clip a leash to the chain between the clamps and use that to lead me....

Was a little disappointed when Mistress told me after just a few minutes "Okay, take them off now, I don't want your nipples going numb." Oh, my... they definitely weren't numb when i removed the clamp! i think i could really like wearing them much longer!!! i suppose the question is, how long can/should you wear nipple clamps??



Have to remember "Be careful what you wish for, it might come true!" fingers crossed!!!!

 

Okay, doing some research that i should probably have done sooner!!

Article #1: Nipple clamping for Beginners: http://www.sexisfun.net/blogs/2010/02/nipple-clamps-for-beginners.html

Article #1: Nipple Clamp 101: https://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?url=nipple-clamps-101

Looks like about 10 minutes is a good starting point for staying clamped, at least to start? Also, the second article said "the nipples MAY be more sensitive after being released, and remain more sensitive for some time... Um, yes, definitely true... i can still feel my nipples this morning, not in a bad way, and a little hard to explain, but it's almost like right after they are pinched, but the clamps were taken off over 8 hours ago..

And so opens a new chapter in this story, Mistress Wolf has taking a couple of more steps on Her path as Dom, and, apparently i enjoy "heightened sensations" (okay looks like i enjoy a little pain play). i am very much liking where this could go!

 

Woke up this morning to Mistress gentle shaking me, then reaching down and playing with her property. Was allowed to pleasure Her again, but not a long session, had plans this morning. BUT, i earned another 2 days of locked time, now up to 24 1/2 days! Expecting to be told to start locked time in the next couple of days!

 

Good 3 day weekend, right up to the end, then not so much. Took the boat out Saturday with Mistress and little one and boated with a bunch of friends, then again Sunday to run with a buddy who needed to do some lake testing (played safety boat). Sunday went out for family breakfast and dinner. Monday was spent cleaning up the yard and finishing a deck project for a friend. Tired and sore, but to that point a great weekend.

Then, called to check on my dad last evening a little after 8 pm, call took until right at 10 pm. Mistress Wolf and i had talked earlier in the day about some fun time, but when i got off the phone She was upset about the length of the call, and that "as soon as you called I knew nothing was happening tonight.". i was still in a good mood, and looking forward to pleasing Her, so i was a little hurt, and snapped back with "Fine, I won't call my dad anymore...", which, of course, went over well.

Went in and took a shower, as i was getting out and drying Mistress came in and said, "By the way, take 5 days off your locked time for your comment", so now at 19 1/2 days. Will probably get locked Wednesday, with no chance to get out for at least a week before She has a use for me again.

i hate being in trouble, especially for something that should not have been an issue... Kind of funny, i get days added for being good, and lose days for punishment... still seems backwards, but it works for now.

 

This haven't been locked up to start "paying off" my debt to Mistress Wolf, but after last night i now owe Her 22 days total! Hoping to be locked up soon...

Mistress Wolf's talks with her current prospective playmate/boyfriend are going VERY well, they are chatting daily and Mistress will be giving him her cell number so they can start texting and talking. Hoping to meet with him in the next couple of weeks!

 

AND, now they are texting, a bunch of texts and one e-mail (with some very good pictures of his equipment) this morning already, and it's only a little after 9 am! Mistress Wolf is enjoying it, and He has already called her "Dear" and She liked it. That is how i have addressed Her since the switch, but it looks like i will be using "Mistress" when addressing Her from now on. He is stepping up and coming on strong!

 

Not sure how many texts back and forth between Mistress Wolf and her new friend... but there were a bunch. Things are going very well, and looking like it's possible there may be a face to face in the next couple of weeks! I have a very good feeling about him, and hope things go well!