we have been discussing going to a sex club and are both wondering whether it would be fun or whether it would be just sleazy. In our fantasies we all imagine things to be super hot but I worry that in reality this could be a turn off. Eager to hear from others who visit these clubs and to hear your experiences. It would be a big step for us.
Well, depends on what you are looking for. What type of venue would you like to attend? There are always good and bad clubs, sleazy or upmarket. Best what you can do is read reviews, or ask trusted friends/ members. We go to clubs 6 times per year on average and its always fun, but as always: each to their own.
The few clubs I attended were not so great We might not have been lucky... We like it class and subtle, and it was more trashy and vulgar. On the other hand, we have been to some really great private sex parties Beautiful venues, with nice people with a good idea of what consent means... We also find it important to be surrounded by people that are not just there for sex, but enjoy chatting, dancing and so on.
My experience is limited (and out of date!), but there's a big difference between types of club/event, especially in London. Some clubs are very much 'swingers' events, others much more individual kink based (Everything from rubber to trans to watersports). Some are as much about the clothing and the style as the play, others are more play/sexual. Some are deliberately classy, some deliberately sleazy. The fetlife listings are good to give you a sense of the kinky/femdom clubs, or the swingers clubs that have specific kink-friendly events. I was single then, so obviously could only go to events that allowed single men - where there were _always_ a lot more men than women. I think for a woman/couple, the biggest issue is probably having too much interest, from people who aren't arousing to you -even if it is usually very polite. Though that depends on whether you mind voyeurs/propositions! On that basis, I'd probably want to go to an event that either was couples only, or had a couples only/private space. As for my own experiences/views of particular clubs - happy to answer in private message, but don't want to bore everyone with experiences that are totally different from those a couple/woman would have!
Just keep looking for the right swingers club. Like others have said some can be sleazy but if you find the right one, it should be classy and you can have a whole lot of fun. I am on staff at a swinger's club and have had a ball along with my girlfriend over the many years. You might go for a long time before you meet up with the right couple, but the atmosphere should keep you and your wife/girlfriend in a very horny state. One thing about our club is there are NO single guys there. You can have single women and couples only. That could make a big difference in the quality of the club in my opinion. It is a chance for us to dress up and when the upstairs party starts, anything goes. You can watch or participate and at the very least you should be able to go back to your room with the wife/girlfriend and be horny as hell. Our parties are not mixed with non-swingers (vanilla) couples and NO means NO! We have had body painting nights, hot waxing, light BDSM, group sex, a sybian, black light nights and other assorted stuff going on in different rooms. Our upper floors are secure with no one except members on the floor.
I can't speak about sex clubs as I've never been to any, but I'm active on my local fetish scene and as far as chastity goes, it's considered pretty tame by most people. There have been a few subs locked at some of the private parties and it's no more an issue than seeing a sub being flogged or spanked. On that note I would recommend you see what fetish scene is in your area and maybe see about getting involved, you never know you might meet more chastity fans out there.