um met a dominant woman around 2 years ago, she whipped my butt and had me clean her house while naked which was a great turn on. I texted her when horny ,but ignored her texts the rest of the time. We have nothing in common except that she enjoys the power she excerts over me when I'm in the mood. Several days ago she gave me a good beating with her belt and stomped my face into the dirt as I knelt at her feet . I loved every minute of it . The next day she had me drive her around for the whole day while she shopped and went to the hospital for some check up thing. That was yesterday, today she wasn't feeling well and had me drive her around again, I forced myself to be submissive and I'd say it was a 5 out of ten day. Being we have nothing in common, she is rather stupid, and has nothing to add to anything I'm interested in. She isn't good looking .is obese, and I really don't want to be seen with her. That's the con part. now for the pro part ! She loves whipping my butt with her belt and having me clean her house while I'm naked .She has me kiss her feet and wants me to dress in a thong and black stay-up stockings for her, she wants to use a dildo on me, she loves telling me I'm her sissy, She likes to have me stand in the corner j/o but tells me to stop before I cum she has me give her massaqes and give her a happy ending with my fingers, she never lets me have an orgasm ,she had me order a cock cage , and will own the keys, she doesn't hesitate to give me a hard backhand across my face then yank my ear almost off ,if I make a small error. There are many more pros to being her sissy. There are many more things I love that she does to me. I told her I'm her sissy bitch as long as I'm aroused and she has been doing a good job of that ,plus never letting me cum, which keeps me properly aroused which is what I need. I want to be horny 24/7 and no orgasm. Looking back on what back on what I wrote just now Kinda answers my question of whether to pay a pro dome or stay with my free dominating Lady. I'm glad I wrote the pros and cons down here because the pros out weigh the cons by far. The heck with pro dommes, I'm staying with my Lady,
I think the fact that you are submitting to a woman you think is unintelligent and unattractive must add to your humiliation fetish, no? Is she around the same age? Does she keep you in diapers?
I never considered that. One could even say that by being willing to submit to woman whose intelligence has no value to you then you are demonstrating that you have a need for humiliation and submission. Its not fair to say anything about her looks one person's perception of anothers looks are personal and aguably subjective. But as you feel embarrassed to be seen with her in public you are further demonstrating your need for humiliation and submission. As those needs of yours are so well met by this lady then perhaps you ought to re-evaluate where you want this relationship to go in the future. .
This thread hit a nerve with me because it's something I've wrestled with for a long time. I've felt really bad about myself, thinking I must be some horrible person inside. Because I would find myself attracted to submitting to older big large women (not that BBW is unattractive.....quite the contrary! But I'm specifically meaning unattractive women who are also big) who weren't physically attractive and who had personalities I didn't care for. Women who I would never want to be seen out with, or introduce to my friends (I know some men prefer big ladies and are ashamed of it due to our culture obsessing over anorexic shallow women as trophies, but I'm talking extremes here) and who I felt had nothing in common or had much to add to conversion. Yet....the idea of submitting to these women was more humiliating to me, which meant I found it more erotic. If I could get a perfect proportioned woman who was in shape, took care of her body, cared about her health, was smart and intellectual and loved to challenge me.......then why oh why were I immensly more turned on by having the stupid slob of a woman down the street sitting on my face and keeping me in permanent chastity, allowing me the only form of release in locked milkings, and even cucking me. It made me think that I'm fetishizing my submission to a person who I don't have much respect for. Which is kind of.....messed up? Other than that, I'd like to think I'm a really caring person with a good set of morals and empathy for people. Perhaps it has to do with a few unattractive large baby sitters that used humiliation punishment on me in my formative years. I don't know. But I know that it isn't a healthy fetish to have, in the context of trying to have a healthy relationship with other human beings. It's not fair to that other person to be with them because you fetishizes your lack of respect for them. But.....if it works for you both and makes you happy then maybe it's ok? Or maybe you will eventually gain respect for them? Perhaps it will change your judgemental views on why you wrote them off so easily in the beginning? Or maybe it has to do with a subconscious fear of emotional attachment? Maybe it's a different form of the Madonna-whore complex going on - in that instead of lusting after the whore who you don't feel much emotional respect for, you lust to submit to the same archetype of a person. Obviously I haven't figured it out, and am thinking out loud here.
Thanks for the replys, Hey bitstriped, you mentioned an unhealthy relationship if your fantasy is being with a woman you don't respect. If you don't respect her why worry about being unfair to her? She is only a sexual object! Wow that sounds horrible now that I read what I just wrote. But on the other hand if a woman likes humiliating us she cant respect us either and we are just objects for her amusment. An example, the last time I took my queen out , we went to the forest and she whipped my ass harder and longer than ever before, on the way back she said to stop where she could take pictures of my car , a nice shiny new convertible, she got out and I sat there in the drivers seat, she said get out of the car I dont want your ugly face in the picture. It insulted me ,but I didn't show it. Ive had good looking hot babes in my day. Now that I recall the incident it turns me on to be thought of as her mark. There used to be a saying among hookers " if you ever fuck your mark you will lose him " well she will never fuck meor even let me kiss her lips. She loves me begging to feel her breasts , and usually says no ,with a smile on her face. The trouble with me is I only like being dominated when horny, and being dominated makes me horny. For a view of how fucked up things are read my journal in the " vault" called my journey begins, it's on the first page.
You seem to like the idea of "things being fucked up". In all honesty, it sounds like things are not actually fucked up at all, you seem able to get most of what you want, iit sounds like you're able to provide for yourself financially and able to provide pleasures of all sorts for yourself. But it's that Self that I wonder about. It doesn't seem very restful or at peace in any way. It's almost as if you don't like yourself very much, you seem to have some pretty harsh judgements of other people and they generally will reflect the judgements you have of yourself - consciously or not. I recommend therapy. Not suggesting you're a bad person in any way mind, just that you don't seem very settled with yourself.
I mentioned my Lady was very much full figured, and I was embarrassed being in public with her. Well watching her pile candy and everything sweet into her shopping cart gave me an idea. As a treat ,and being her sissy, I have started baking her butter tarts, cheese cakes, and am making her fudge now. She looks forward to each time I make some ,and tells me to bring them right over . It's kind of hilarious ! On the less hilarious side ,I made her some muffins and nice biscuits . I always liked baking simple stuff for my self. Maybe my dark sense of humor at work lol
@nikkel Wow lots of things here ! Not sure I approve of you being her feeder as that could be conected to your views of this woman and the apparent lack of respect for her. However you say two years and seems quite often. That says a lot to me. If you are naturally submissive and even though you probably won't admit it you do actually care for this woman. As she seems naturally dominant and much more clever than you again probably don't want to admit ,and is a good ass whipper seems she is a keeper to me . How about you review how you feel about her . Ie if she stopped seeing you I bet you would be extremely unhappy . Naturally dominant people into the TPE lifestyle are extremely hard to find to say the least. You have more than either you understand or again I bet willing to admit. Oh by the way how good looking are you would we have seen you on the front cover of any magazine . Do you have your own brand cosmetics? You are definitely in the "Be careful what you wish for " by a lot of measures you have got more than most ever hope for. Thus look and treat her with a lot more respect and see how things go. I have found that you never can tell when that amazing person comes into your life . Her eating habits may be a symptom of being lonely . Maybe if you show a little more commitment she may loose a few but still whip your ass even better as she gets fitter ! Be very careful before you disregard people in your life very careful. How do you know maybe in a year or 5 you will be living together with a dungeon in the basement or attic and you have no nutz because she got hungry one day ! Xx Wendy
Thanks for the reply, You mentioned several things I had not thought of. Yes I know how rare dominant woman are.
Luckily, me and my wife got into this whole Cuckold/FemDom/Chastity/BBC lifestyle over time. We have been married for 7 years now. She is 32 and I'm 39
Many members here (and in society) have a poor impression of the value provided by Professional Dominatrixes. I am totally submissive to my loving and caring Mistress as well as to Pro Dommes, on occasion. My Wife/Mistress does not enjoy doing corporal or other BDSM techniques on me even though She knows that it's necessary at times to keep me in line. She calls this "outsourcing". So periodically (every 4-5 months or so), Mistress calls up our friendly Pro Domme and sets up a session for her to discipline me according to Mistress' directions. I wear my cage with a plastic, numbered lock and take along another fresh lock with me to be applied for my trip home. "Mistress A". the pro Domme, is quite a powerful and attractive woman who I respect and admire for what she does, but not at all in the same sense as my Mistress. I am not permitted to cum during the sessions. The humiliation and embarrassment of having another domme inflict pain is quite degrading and I return home a corrected and refreshed sissy. I am very thankful for all that both of them do with/to me to keep me in Mistress's total control.
e have seen 5 pro dominatixes, the first 4 wanted to waste my time before starting then ended soon, and offered coffee, obviously had no real interest in dominbation other than money, then I met Mistress Jasmine from eurasianpersuasion .She was so perfect in every way, and as she visited my city ,had me bring her breakfast and run other errands for her. I was in contact with her everyday for 6 days. When I first met her I told her I'd like two $300 sessions but not on the same day, she said she was rather busy the first day ,and I said that was fine she could fit me in whenever it was convienent. It was two days later that I got fit in for about a half hour, then it was a day later I got a golden shower ,and my balls kicked real good, She inserted a rod up my penis, and put extra tight nipple clamps on me another time. I had never experienced any of this before with the other Dommes, just beatings. Mistress Jasmine was so understanding of my being nervous, I could feel her auroa of kindness, and her knowing just how much to give me , always just about to my limits, but never too much. Well after a week I was so in love with her I was like a kid in love the first time. She caught a plane back to her city , and I sent her many gifts. a few months later she said she was coming to my city again, but I didn't reply because I knew it would be the same heartache again when she left. Oh , after she left the first time ,I had mentioned I'd love to help her out on her internet things, and was given several tasks which I lovingly put my whole body mind and soul into carrying out the tasks, I made plane /hotel reservations, signed her up for memberships at airlines and hotel chains as well as sites that located them on her behalf. I was the happiest I can remember sitting there at my pc working for her. She often complimented me , but sadly something came over me , and I broke all contact. Sometimes I feel submissive for months ,other times not at all. I have no regrets.
Maybe 20-25 years ago, I used to session with various Pro Dommes in a city about 100 miles from home. There was one that was "softly devious" in employing her devices and techniques on me and she is quite memorable. My other favorite was the Lady who recognized my leanings and first feminized me and helped me to release my frustrations. That, in fact, began my journey into becoming the full fledged, card carrying sissy that I am today!
A couple years ago, I was strongly considering spending some time with a dominatrix. I had contacted a couple of them (via email) and very close to pulling the trigger. One of the ones I contacted is no longer in Calgary; and the other still has her website up. I had also seen Mistress Jasmine (and still follow her on Twitter), but had never contacted her.
Pro dominatrices provide a service. As with all services, some are good, some bad. The good ones usually enjoy what they do and this becomes apparent to the submissive.
I would guess it's down to do they enjoy their work or is it pleasure first or is it the money. Xx Wendy
What a coincidence ,we both have seen Mistress Jasmine ! What did you think of her ? I'm in Calgary too.
I have been away for a while, and just catching up.. On the subject of Dominatixes, I am reading a book called Fishing for stars, it just so happens to have a main theme about a trained japenese geisha girl who has been taught the art of tieing me up in the brothel she owns .( the book is fiction),as I read about the great care she takes to please her men to her upmost capabilities I think of the Dominatrixews I have paid and the shody treatment I got ( except Mistress Jasmine) .There have been 4 one time visits,none were worth going back to .Reading the book brings to mind thast a whore or Domme should be earning her pay by doing everything in her power to learn her trade ,and excel in her profession, instead we get stuck with disgusting creatures who cant wait to get rid of us ,.Mistress Jasmine was the only exception,and so perfect, but she only visits Calgary once or twice a year.
Sorry; bad choice of words on my part. I did not see Jasmine (in the face-to-face sense), had only 'seen' her website and considered contacting her.
MikeyLikes , you have no idea what you are missing out on by not contacting Mistress Jasmine . You wont be the same ever again. Its been 2 years or more since my week of seeing her and then staying in contact by doing chores on the internet , and I still remember every little detail.
Keep searching and don't pay for a pro. Eventually I think you will want to connect on a higher level with someone who is more intelligent and that you will be able to have a real relationship with if that's what you are wanting. This other woman is feeding your sexual desires but other than that it sounds like you really don't want anything to do with her. You want someone who you can snuggle up to at night while you're locked up who actually cares about you and your feelings. For me, chastity goes so far beyond sex (or lack of). I have always loved and respected my mistress well before I called her mistress. The erotic effect of how much more I am in love with her and how much more I respect her and how important her happiness is to me, is so much more erotic and fulfilling then just some T&D and an occasional orgasm. Trust me, don't stop you're search for the right woman because a true connection between the two of you will mean so much more. Check out fetlife.com and some of the other fetish websites to find women who are into chastity or atleast open to the idea and go from there. You will never be submissive to this other woman you are playing with because you don't respect her. Just my opinion. Good luck