Is Male Masturbation Disrespectful of Women?

My thoughts

• Masturbation is completely normal.
• Some men are unable to tell the difference between the fiction of porn and the reality of real life.
• Most men are able to tell the difference.
• Women are sex objects
• so are men
• That doesn't mean you have to have sex with them or they have to put up with inappropriate sexual contact
• What goes on in your own head is just that. Fantasy is fantasy, it is not disrespectful.
• I have chosen to control my urges so that I can make sex more special when it happens, and to really respect my Mistress Wife in a much more profound way than I was before.
• My wife had absolutely no issue with me masturbating, she used to help me sometimes. She was surprised when I told her what I wanted to do regarding chastity.

 

I agree. My Mistress had no problem with my masturbation. But now that I have been locked up for most of the last 6 plus years, I find I rarely have the urge to when unlocked I only desire my Mistress and the closeness we have.

 

With ALL respect to others opinions above, I agree. Men are missing the best parts of women when they focus entirely on physical appearance vs. the many complicated ideas and feelings and capabilities of a modern woman that would doubtless leave us even more enthralled if we but took the time to learn. Obviously masturbating to images of women is the least valuable (and most damaging) of all (to both women and men). And this would of course be especially disrespectful if one is in a relationship and still persists in this behaviour. In fact, I think masturbation in general is an unhealthy waste of that wonderful male energy we could be saving for the women in our lives. My only exception would be in the case of a woman who preferred to see a man masturbate rather than engage intercourse or oral sex. Touching oneself to obey such a request from the woman in your life can be a very intense and intimate and loving experience whether she chooses to have him ejaculate or not.

 

Your choice of not masturbating, and not fantasizing about other women, is your choice and yours alone.
Whether it comes from you, or is imposed to you by your mistress doesn't really make a difference.
No one should tell you it is wrong if it feels right for you.

And you should do the same in return: Not tell other people that they are disrespectful because they fantasize about other women and occasionally masturbate to such fantasies.

In the end, sex is very natural. Fantasizing is very natural. Masturbation is very natural.
People would be happier and less conflicted, if they could live according to how they were designed to be.
Sexual shame in general is very destructive, in so many ways...

If people wish to restrict their sexuality in some ways, like we do with chastity, it is very fine.
But we should not impose our limits on any body else.

The only limit to sex should be clear none coercive consent.

 

certainly - and I did say with all respect to others opinions - I apologize if I was too disapproving

 

I find it interesting that this is the first time a subject that I am reading on the Chastity Mansion is causing friction.

The history of chastity devices as I understand it comes from a time where masturbating, particularly at night, was seen as evil. People grew up believing touching themselves 'down there' was wrong, dirty, shameful. That fuckwit Kellog and the like have a lot to answer for.

Masturbating relieves sexual tension, especially in younger people. My sex drive was much higher than my Wife's. Would it not have been way more disrespectful to demand we have more sex? As an older male who takes longer to reload then yes, if my masturbating stopped me pleasuring my wife then that would indeed be disrespectful.

On a personal note when I have in the past used porn I have never been fantasizing about me being the male, rather my wife being the female in the scenes. This might not be usual, I have no idea. All I know is that body types similar to my wife are what I sought. My Mistress Wife knows this and has no problem with it. Now I have voluntarily stopped masturbating and she has accepted this new lifestyle I doubt I will ever masturbate to porn again unless she tells me I have to. My Mistress Wife expects me not to masturbate not because it is disrespectful to other women but because I promised that I wouldn't.

Finally can I ask what was I supposed to do all the times my wife spent periods of three or six months away from our home? Our lifestyle and her career has meant that we finally moved in with each other permanently at the end of October this year, after 25 years. On more than one occasion we have spent over a year apart except for when one of us took holiday as we lived in different countries. Look up what happened August 2 1990 if you need to understand why. I respect my Mistress Wife immensely which is a major factor in why our marriage survived.

 

Well, I didn't mean to offend you.
You are interested in what other think, and they might think like you, or not.
Personally, I strongly disagree with your original post.

I understand that before being in chastity, you felt you were not respecting women.
That you were viewing them as mere sex objects to satisfy your lust, and I am sure other men do.
And I am glad chastity brought you balance and that you feel good in that new dynamic

Now not all men are like you.
Many of them can fantasize about woman and masturbate thinking about them.
Yet they will not disrespect them think about them as sex object or take them as granted.

 

If that was at me @Metalman i am not in any way offended, believe me. I love the opportunity to have these discussions, it really helps me understand myself more. If not then no worries

 

No I was answering @ChasteHubby2015

 

I thought so @Metalman I just wanted to make sure

 

Why the one-dimensional thinking? Why can't a person be thought of as a sex object and a complete person in their own right? Do you not think of your wife or Mistress as someone's daughter or mother or sister, etc. as well as someone who inspires lust in you? I can look at porn and wonder about the person behind the body or the sex act being performed, and yet still masturbate over it (at least, when I was unlocked). Men are wired to perceive women sexually, and I don't apologize for how I evolved. And at the same time I also evolved to have reason, and to use that to understand there is more to a woman than her external appearance. Denying my own bodily urges is as pointless as ignoring the efforts someone may have gone to in order to impress me with their appearance. If your wife/gf/KH wears sexy clothing, is it 'disrespectful' to respond to that?

To put it another way, if your wife/gf/whatever is a great cook, is it wrong for you to want to go to McDonalds sometimes? Going to your next-door neighbor's house for dinner is disrespectful, but denying your biology is usually setting yourself up for a fall.

 

I think males who stay in chastity (as opposed to those who don't get it or don't want to stay locked) already have a better appreciation of women in general. But to your point a), I would say that you don't have any idea what a person in an image is thinking, and therefore policing your own thinking is absurd. I may harbour all kinds of dark or even evil thoughts, but if I don't act upon them and conform to general accepted norms in society, what I think is entirely up to me. I cannot agree with any suggestion of self-censorship in my own mind.

 

how can you have a spurty when you locked up anyway. i cant. Ladies are lovely.

 

No. That's entirely presupposition on your part as to what the subject of an image is thinking, and you could be completely wrong. At any rate, they do not have the right to deny you usage of their image for purposes of masturbation. There are certainly legal restrictions on what you can do with an image in a commercial sense, but no court in the world would ever rule that you can't jerk off in private to any image. That's just ludicrous. You can make that decision for yourself, and maybe your wife/Mistress/gf can deny you masturbating generally. But a woman in a lingerie ad does not have the right to say you can't crack one off to her picture.

 

Just a word on rights. Generally there are no rights, only privileges.

If you are lucky enough to have a privilege enshrined into law THEN it could be considered a right. Unless the law changes of course, or you become poorer, or move to a different country, or for some unexplained reason wake up to find yourself a woman or black.