introduction and challenges

[jml00]

My first post. I'm happily married and in my late 40s. Usual story (I assume), busy lives meant little time for my wife and when i did get some spare time I'd rather masturbate than spend it with her. I had been reading about male chastity and the science behind it. The typical cycle of masturbation and orgasm leading to less desire to spend time with my wife struck a chord, so i confessed to my wife, told her that i wanted to do something about it and asked for her help. After getting over the initial shock and reading the same great article I had found, she agreed to give it a go.

So I am now 14 days into chastity, my first spell having lasted 17 days before my wife took pity on me and allowed me to cum. But we have encountered some challenges

1. I have a CB6000s and after much trial and error I have a combination that fits well during the day. My problem is at night. Every time I have tried to sleep in it, I have woken up with serious pain in my balls where the base ring cuts into me. So we are currently working more on trust than a lock that i have no control over. Which is working OK but i am worried about how i will be when i get several weeks into chastity (our agreed goal is to get to a pattern of 3 months at a time). My question - does anyone use different settings on a CB for night time lock ups?

2. We have never been very adventurous in our sex life and to be honest, I am amazed my wife agreed to this but I respect her so much for giving it a try. She is struggling to get her head around the fact that I can get satisfaction from her pleasure. I think she also feels guilty about controlling me. Hopefully the ruthless streak will devellp over time. My question on this - can anyone recommend good keyholders who post regularly in the forums for my wife to follow?

 

[Mistress Michelle]

Its very difficult to find vanilla women that will accept the idea of the chastity world so you are already up one on other males that try to go down this road. Congratulations Someday in the future the saying 'Be careful what you wish for' may haunt you LOL

A lot of men cannot stand the pain at night that the base ring can cause. It causes a lot of sleep problems and sometimes it just cannot be overcome. I have had men try different things that may help but dosent always work with everyone. Try using a larger ring at night with smaller spacers. Use a generous amount of cream, vasiline, lotion ect around the ring at night so the ring will slide easily on the skin. Have even had one that used a numbing cream around the ring at night, that helped him but didn't work on another. This has always been a problem with the cb series.
It may be that you will just have to get unlocked at night before bed and relocked in the mornings.

What you do NOT want to do is complain too much, at least outloud to your wife! You both need to discuss the issues without you sounding like you are complaining or she is liable to say Fuck this, its too much trouble!

You are both in the learning stage so treat it as such and enjoy learning together.

Mistress Michelle

 

[Quercus Jay]

I am three months into wearing a chastity device 24/7 and it does get easier. If you keep pulling your ball skin through the ring on a regular basis it will start to stretch a remarkable amount. I know that doesn't help you now but stick at it and you will see. Whatever you do though don't let any sores develop, I did that with a cb6ks knock off and literally have the scars to prove it.

I find the curved ring of the Holy Trainer much more comfortable than the rigid circle ring of the CB. The HT isn't universally popular but without it I wouldn't still be part of this community.

My Wife is generally vanilla with mild kink edges. She is very happy with the way our relationship has developed since we started this. We aren't doing all the wild crazy stuff you sometimes read about but she is getting a lot more attention. I also had a tough time explaining to her about my pleasure coming through hers, but she has now witnessed this with her own eyes and has no problem with the idea of denying me. I basically brought her to an orgasm through cunnilingus and lay next to her, literally joining in with her own waves of pleasure. It doesn't happen every time but wow, when it does it is incredible, way more powerful than an 'ordinary' male orgasm.

The main thing to explain to your Wife is that the only rule about male chastity is you make your own rules up. Don't be told you have to do it a certain way. And good luck to both of you.

 

[jemima]

@Jasmic68 what a lovley thingy to say to the man. i reads lots on here that men has done to them that sound horrible and hurt a lot and it don't has to happen to everone.

 

[jml00]

Thanks @Mistress Michelle . I had tried the larger ring and smaller spacer combination during the day previously and slipped out. Tried again with the smallest spacer last night and made it through with discomfort rather thsn pain, which i can (and should) live with.

So far my wife has left me with access to a key so that i can unlock at night if the pain was too much without disturbing her. We've now agreed that if i make it through the next two nights, she gets the key and a new chapter will start.

 

[jemima]

Thanks @Mistress Michelle . I had tried the larger ring and smaller spacer combination during the day previously and slipped out. Tried again with the smallest spacer last night and made it through with discomfort rather thsn pain, which i can (and should) live with.

So far my wife has left me with access to a key so that i can unlock at night if the pain was too much without disturbing her. We've now agreed that if i make it through the next two nights, she gets the key and a new chapter will start.

After a bit them cages are nice and comfy for you but please please be careful cos the one i had splitted and it hurt a lot then.