Is chastity a sexual thing or a power exchange? please explian.

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by nikkel, Feb 3, 2016.

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  1. nikkel
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    nikkel Long term member

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    I am new to being caged not permanently caged yet. Just trying it out.
    For me it is purely sexual ,nothing else.
    The several non pro Dominant women I have met tell that me for them it is a power exchange and not sexual.
    Their subs say the same thing.
    I even sought the advise of a local Lady Dominatrix who offers advise in such matters. We met and was still unable to understand .
     
  2. Minimistress
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    Minimistress Active member

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    Hi Nickkel, for myself and my sub we agree that it is probably both sexual and empowering. For me I am struggling with trying not to be constantly aroused by the thought of my sub being locked and in my control but for my sub I think he would like me to make him get to the point of begging. I think each individual's triggers are unique and it's best to go with what suits both?
    We are new members though so not best to offer advice!
     
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  3. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    It is complicated and varies with individual situations..

    But generally. it is a combination of power and sex. Put simplistically, it is the sexual control that transfers the power from wearer to KH

    But there are numerous variations and permutations of this.
     
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  4. nikkel
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    nikkel Long term member

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    Now things are making sense.
    Power and sex, now that I can understand .
    Thanks to you both for your replies.
    Minimistress I think your sub is very lucky indeed.
     
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  5. xcitedsisssy
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    xcitedsisssy cd/sissy michelle

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    There are many avenues for chastity. At first the Mrs. had a hard time understanding of the power and control she holds with the key. And now I'm sure she would not give this back as we continue on our journey.
     
  6. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    Though I would venture that in a long distance KH arrangements more power exchange than sexual ;)

    Xx Wendy
     
  7. salonslave
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    salonslave I play for a living and work for fun.

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    Oh! It is a sexual thing! No doubt! The power she has is in itself sexual.
    Ss
     
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  8. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    For many males: power = sex, and balls especially. Once you've got him there, properly and wriggleproof, the sky's the limit.

    :):spank::spank::)
     
  9. DarkKnight
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    DarkKnight In service of the Dark_Queen

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    It is a power thing. One is willing to give power over something (themselves, their unit, their climax). Another accepts or refuses the transfer of power over those things. You cant have one without the other.
     
  10. Luscious-Liza
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    Absolute power
     
  11. sonic chaste
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    sonic chaste Long term member

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    Power here as well. My loving wife/KH is slowly getting used to the power I have given her. As her sex drive is quite low anyway, it's less about the sex, because I can no longer put pressure on her for sexual exchange, therefore she has all the power, and it's only sexual when she desires, the outcome being her decision only.

    I hope this helps
     
  12. MistressL
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    MistressL I'm through

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    After 14 years it is convenient, for there is nothing sexual in it for me. Now power, maybe? I discovered there are several things about my husband's chastity that is attractive to me. The most important one is that his focus is on me. He wants to please me in ways I have not yet thought about. He continually surprises me. But the fact of the matter is many men are chronic masturbators and desire orgasm. I know what happens when he has one. After relief he feels content, and there is less focus on me, because his sexual need has been met. Many men turn into this guy wearing a white wife beater t-shirt telling his wife to get him a beer. Hell no. He has tried over and over again not to loose his submissiveness, but he does and deep down he knows this. That is why it is so important to immediately lock him back up and severely limit them. He is allowed 2-4 a year. This loss of focus does not mean he doesn't love me because he does. But he has less urgency to meet my expectations. When he is in long term chastity (3+ months) he is the most pleasant and loving man on earth, in a state of serenity and tranquility. His calmness is my aphrodisiac.
     
  13. olddog
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    olddog Member

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    For us it is more sexual. My wife does enjoy the feeling of control she has over our sex life but in general she is submissive to me and made it clear that she cannot be mean to me or hurt me. It is not her nature to be dominant and she does not want to be. She does occasionally whip my butt if I annoy her about having an orgasm though but views it as sexual play.
     
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  14. DarkKnight
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    DarkKnight In service of the Dark_Queen

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    She doesn't need to be mean if it is not in her nature. The daily teasing is more to keep you at the sharp end of the arousal stick.
     
  15. GirlfriendsTooHot
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    To my Goddess and I, its both. Not having a good enough cock and worshipping her (and her girlfriend recently) has improved our relationship. It's basically helped me to not be an alcoholic. Apart from working out and being at work, every aspect of my life is purely devoted to making hers easier and more pleasurable. We both love it
     
  16. harddenial
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    harddenial Member

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    This could be my wife speaking. A perfect summary!
     
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