In at the Deep End

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by OnTheEdge, Dec 11, 2015.

Random Thread
  1. OnTheEdge
    Offline

    OnTheEdge Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2015
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    75
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    4:39 AM
    Morning as usual didn't turn out quite as planned - so have backed everything up and into tomorrow and the next day...

    My penis was remaining in an energetic mode and this was moving the cage around too much. the body was filling (the supposedly empty first section whereas the foreskin and some of the tip was still caught with my testicles in the main section. I situation I wasn't sure it was possible to escape from.

    But, with a fair amount of wriggling and I was free and shortly after my incredible shrinking testicles came too. Not ideal I now but as with last night had the cage continued to shift around when I was doing manual work ... - I wasn't enjoy the thought of going Soprano. (Or - should that be a very late Castrato).

    If I get that result from being in a cage for the 30 hours then lock me up before every hot date ... :) I mean I've seen it grow before but that was ridiculous. It may be both exaggeration and a little bit of boasting but it felt like twice its previous largest size.

    You might remember that last time that happened and I was struggling to stay in some cage I did some research and even found some academic papers via the internet. Apparently my penis is above average (just). Its just a shame that it shrinks down to almost nothing when flaccid. Today it was really pushing it - and it didn't want to go down.

    I tried not to encourage it but just having my hands nearby seemed to keep it hard and fast and was beginning to think that wrestling myself free could have been a big mistake for staying chaste. So, I remembered to break out one of the emergency devices! That's the benefit of having a few if the most successful one fails you still have another and a spare padlock.

    Fitting 'The Vice' proved to be a bit of a nightmare although having a very erect 'rod' made the ring a little easier and I think I got much more of the scrotum through than usual. Even still when finally small enough to lock the device on the old problem returned with my left testicle being high and tight whereas my right seemed to be okay. About to give in I opted for a shower and taking longer than usual tugged everything through as best as I could. Then head back to my room to dry off.

    Now I could relax and let everything settle in and ... down.

    But, ahhhh, the ring felt it was on fire and wouldn't stop burning. Sitting naked on the bed I wanted to rip the device off. But having spent so long. (90 minutes+) fitting it I was reluctant to have wasted all of that time. [See there are some benefits from having a problem-some penis: It encourages you to keep your device on.] That, and if I kept it on I could just about get away with not declaring the session on Emlalock as void - If I still saw out the time.

    Weirdly, I discovered that scratching your testicles (just like they've got a little itch) causes some of the ring fire to slowly dissipate. It doesn't work perfectly but it was a heck of a lot better. That got me going through downstairs to get lunch - oh and a pair of baggy runny bottoms and no underwear. Now back upstairs 90 minutes on again its starting to feel comfortable again. Though I'm still not sure I want to keep wearing it under a pair of jeans - not tonight anyway.

    Oh and as a small addendum:

    If I was ever able to send a message to my younger school boy self it would be: Stop masturbating! Yes it make look small now - but if you leave it alone it can get really really big. That could have cured a lot of adolescent teenage size angst - and I might actually of put more work in to getting fit and pulling a few girls without fear of judgement or ridicule.

    Instead (past relationships notwithstanding) I've spent far too long getting tongue tied around one woman who all being told is probably not that interested. Whilst passing up someone who sounds like they definitely would be. (Knob biscuits and all.)

    Now if only I'd listened to the weight bit too... . Having said that I weighed myself this morning, just before heading downstairs - and a very dangerous idea.
     
    Jasmic68 likes this.
  2. OnTheEdge
    Offline

    OnTheEdge Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2015
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    75
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    4:39 AM
    Good Ceildh, though she has an annoying friend who tries to dance with her too much... It would probably be uncharitable to try and kill. But I could of at least stamped on her foot. The Vice (and yes after all that prevaricating I ended up staying in chastity throughout anyway...) stayed on nicely during the dances. But wasn't quite so comfortable on the hard seats during the food.

    Sunday, I was out pretty much all day and night and there was many times that I couldn't get comfortable, but that was fortunately punctuated by long periods of 'okayness'. I'm not sure what happened at one point but a few seconds it felt like there was a sharp knife in there. During night two (as happened last time) the device tried to pull away from my body so it had to be removed. Which is frustrating to say the least - Both because it can often still take an hour or two to get any device to fit me correctly, and, I simply want "it" to stay on. Like I assume a pair of trousers will when walking down the High Street. If you try and pull them off they'll probably come (and you might get arrested) but if you leave it alone - my thoughts are that the device should stay there too.

    As I've posted in a few places on this site now I'm going to 'try' and trial Emlalock in a bigger way and after testing a few settings and options create some kind of review. My reasons are two-fold: Firstly, it's good to share and spread a little love/knowledge around CM, and secondly, its an excuse to play, find things which work, and keep at it. (Or, rather, 'not at it' - if you get my drift). I've been trying (a little too) desperately to try out a few sessions with a real-life keyholder - but at present this does not seem as if it is going to happen. Understandable though, as even in the world of internet chastity, which can boil down to only the press of a few buttons, others probably don't want that kind of commitment. Heck - how many women even sign up to internet "locking" site?

    I wanted to lock myself into Emlalock and forget about the key (for a while at least) but knowing that devices have a tendency to slip on me - and not wanting to rack up lots of failed session statistics before I had even started - I decided to ensure that I had the hygiene option ticked. With settings enabled me allowing no more than one unlock from the device a day to clean up and reset. I also chose the maximum 59 minutes as the time I was allowed unclocked to hopefully both fit in a shower (which can be very quick if need by) and the current mammoth wrestle to get the device back on.

    Should both my testicles ever decide to stay nicely behind the ring in The Vice I could leave them there when cleaning and it should be a fairly fast job to wash just the main section. Let's hope. (Unfortunately I don't think I can reduce the hygiene unlock time until I start another session. I'm hoping that the situation could be similar with the Seed Pod - which I've switched to now - only that should be even faster when fitted properly as the stainless steel should keep it clean, whilst the slits in the bar allow for good contact with water in the shower, if not physical touching.

    Which brings us almost up-to-date apart from the refitting back into the Pod which felt like hell. I tried putting myself back in the Vice and the Pod a number of times after a shower and couldn't get it quite right. The vice fault far to tight around the scrotum and I don't think I could have sat down at all once the top cage was on. (Especially with the inability to unlock without the key.) I managed to fit myself into the Vice three times - with both testicles through - and the door closed. Except when I screwed the lid down with the allen key supplied. There was a constant pain which wouldn't go away, I know not from where. But it was there. Realising the pressure solved the problem - but does not help at all when you are trying to lock yourself up.

    It was the closest I have ever come to giving up.

    Then finally opting for a slightly different set up to usual (The Vice with leather strap around both penis and balls) I got enough courage to close the device, using the allen key to screw down the hex chamber all the way, add the padlock to the end ... and (with much more hesitancy) lock it. There was still a fair amount of stinging their. But to back out now would mean having to use the emergency password to 'safe word' the session. After a while it finally began to subside and now I'm currently slouched fairly comfortably on the bed as I type. Though who knows what will happen when I next need to stand up.

    Oh and the session I'm in with Emlalock - well it's weight based which means that I won't be released after a certain time - but only when I can demonstrate that I am a certain weight. There are some set ups on the site to ensure that you don't cheat and just fake your weight loss, such as only allowing a 1% reduction of your total body weight for every day since the last weigh in. (Though obviously the precise figure will vary depending upon what weight you start with.

    The healthy weight setting I have opted for is ambitious to say the least. But it is a real life goal I should be aiming at too - all will be fine unless I find myself a real life date when I'll have to make a three-way choice: 1) Drop chastity for a while whilst I get to know her; 2) Keep my trousers very firmly on and hope for the best, or 3) stay single and horny (out of my denial of them) ... but locked.

    For the moment none of that is an option though and I just need to keep the device on so the few unlockings I have - for hygiene or otherwise - the better. Of course that would be even simpler still if it (stayed on and) didn't have to come off in the first place. And the circle begins again.
     
  3. OnTheEdge
    Offline

    OnTheEdge Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2015
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    75
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    4:39 AM
    So if I haven't just put him off I might have found myself an online keyholder. This will mean starting a new session on Emlalock but with him in control of the session settings and an emphasis on losing weight to gain release. Firstly in terms of a couple of pounds but building up to something bigger. Possibly exploring a variety of ways to get there which is both fills me with enthusiasm and some trepidation.

    Here's the bad news so far weighing in at 17 st 1lb - there's a long way to go - the good news is that I've been able to fit in a smaller ring size and whisper it I think its going to stay on. Was murder to put on but comfortable a few TV shows later.

    If these two things both happen - this could be the start of quite a lot of denial.

    BMI.png
     
  4. OnTheEdge
    Offline

    OnTheEdge Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2015
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    75
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    4:39 AM
    End of Part One ...

    ... I have a keyholder.



    Here's to shorter more coherent posts from here on in.​
     
    Wendygirl likes this.
  5. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    10:24 AM
    Advice on weight loss from someone who is actually doing it. I have now got down from 107.25kg to 99.5kg with my gym kit on. That has taken me since January 4 this year.

    Purge where you live of snacks. Get yourself dried apricots, unsalted nuts and other healthy snacks but severely limit how much you eat them. You are going to have to limit your calories and up your exercise. I am eating porridge with a teaspoon of honey for most breakfasts, which is about 250 kcal. Lunch is either soup with no bread or a protein shake, 200 to 350 kcal. Dinner is a 600 kcal meal. With snacks I am having about 1400 kcal a day, about 5 or 6 hundred calories less than I need, and maneagable.

    Get boring and read how many calories are in every biscuit you eat. Beer is out, drink red wine or g&t if you have to. Drink water all day, as much as you can. Ideally a few liters.

    I am proof that it works. I walk 3 to 5 km every day, gym 3 times a week and swim once. It's slow, tedious and hard work. The upside is my clothes fit me again for the first time in years and I am getting rid of my man gut. There is nothing faddy about what I am doing, it's all about control.

    Good luck.
     
  6. OnTheEdge
    Offline

    OnTheEdge Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2015
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    75
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    4:39 AM
    Thanks Jasmic I did something similar a few years back. Unfortunately, I've had to survive on very little exercise for the last year after surgery. Even worse somewhere recently I went from being around 100kg to 107 odd... . I was using wrist based pedometer and a GPS watch too. Whilst a companion food app recorded what I ate.

    Will still have to be careful with exercise for now in case I stop the healing from the surgery and there will definitely still be beer. Though I'm guessing I'm going to have think harder how to balance it out. Either by controlling calories for the little luxuries or exercising more... I'm very much a social drinker but there's a reason most of my friends clubbed together for my last birthday to by me four crates of beer delivered throughout the year. (Enough for one a week...)

    To be honest. I could probably mess around with a key in my hand and book on chastity and get away with it (for a while), but start drinking only soft drinks at our regular meetings...

    I suppose the key thing here is responsibility and moderation in terms of luxuries. Like keeping drinking alcohol to the weekend when I'm out with others - and maybe the occassional 'beer for a year'. If I let them back up because of the shelf life they'll go off before I drink it. I guess the secret is not to keep off alcohol except when out with family etc; and not by any to bring home, apart from what I have been given. (There's one each of each beer - so sharing sadly isn't that easy.)

    I've already been given a calorie count spreadsheet and an expectation of what is a "normal" calorie intake. So I'll guess we'll see how I really match up over the course of the coming week.

    Other than that its spending the week trying to make "The Vice" fit me better as its the best long-term device I have to wear under work clothes and trying to experiment with rubber bands/cock rings to see if i can persuade my escapee testicle to behave (like the other one). Quite happy so far as we are both - keyholder and me - of the opinion that small achievable goals are best, and we won't start uping the risk level till we're both comfortable with each other and have done some testing with a degree of success.

    Thanks for the advice though - I have a feeling I could be digging out my running kit again sometime soon.

    Now really should do the other thing I'm bad at and get some sleep - it's nearly 3am.
     
  7. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    10:24 AM
    4am here. The wind is bloody crazy, night time erections and iPads don't make a good combination.
     
  8. OnTheEdge
    Offline

    OnTheEdge Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2015
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    75
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    4:39 AM
    Over the last few days I have actually installed some software on my PC to lock me out if I'm using it too late for personal reasons. It can also filter out websites etc like a 'Net Nanny' type service but free. Still have to activate it properly - but perhaps shouldn't say that too loudly now ;)

    Hope you get some sleep.
     
  9. lock667
    Offline

    lock667 Long term member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2012
    Messages:
    616
    Likes Received:
    407
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    12:39 AM
    We'll be adjusting that total calorie intake short term.
     
    OnTheEdge likes this.
  10. OnTheEdge
    Offline

    OnTheEdge Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2015
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    75
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    4:39 AM
    So tired.

    Last night managed to get a close tight fit with The Vice it stayed on overnight without support and morning erections, were, well, interesting. Surving a day at work was more complicated and involved discomfort sitting down and another escaped testicle. Although even with the escapee the device would not have come off.

    Came home to find that the plan was to start an Emlalock session on Thursday. My keyholder having heard of the successful night time trial (but not the day). Some communication and food diary submitting later and I'm fiddling with the device again. This time using a shorter cage length but no anti-pullout. (Not using the pullout I've heard can make it more comfortable to wear long term if at the potential cost of security.) Having just woken from a short sleep it is high and tight so far - but in underwear (tangas) and due to the gap size of the cage - I'm not sure where my balls would go if they did try and escape... . I did manage to fit into a smaller ring size (the medium) but couldn't see how the cage or anything else would fit on as well without much crushing.

    Have been asking around (on another thread) in the Mansion if anybody could recommend any "supportive" underwear for a male in chastity. As the only other old thread I could find on the matter was essentially about whether keyholders should allow their subs to wear any atll, or, if they, the masters, should make the decision. I'd half expected the discussion to let loose a flood of suggestions of lingerie and 'frilly pink ones' which is fine (by way of comment...) but not ideal for comfort. Have a few ideas for internet shopping though to see if I can find any improvement on my current pairs if necessary.

    Before spending two hours trying to fit the device (again) for tonights lock up I spent the evening at a friends party I hadn't quite realized how stressed I'd been getting lately and wrapped up in my own world view. It was interesting to see some of the old me come to the fore again and be relaxed in good company. The curious thing, is thtat this should be the most stressful time. With a review coming at work in the week, alongside a significant yearly milestone in my non-relationship with C - which always makes my (our?) life interesting. Oh, and the fact that I have a keyholder who is suggesting locking away access to my penis on Thursday for a so far indefinite period of time. Therefore leading to the twin stressors of a) Why won't it stay on even now; and b) if it does stay on and we start the program for real, How far will the loss of control even in the early stages go - or is 'feel' a better word? I don't know. As I say, I'm feeling more relaxed now as these things happen not less. So that suggests I'm quite comfortable with it, even within the uncertainty.

    Still I probably shouldn't be posting when tired. So now would be a good time to log off and see if the device is still secure come breakfast time. If it holds will have to remember to ask if I should try adding oe of the anti-pullouts to the mix (small, medium or large) or just leave things as they are.

    Right. Need to be responsible. Night.
     
  11. OnTheEdge
    Offline

    OnTheEdge Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2015
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    75
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    4:39 AM
    Beginning to wonder if i'm going to have to go commando during my impending lock up period. Any attempt at underwear wearing in work clothes serves to slowly bring the device down between my legs where it becomes increasingly uncomfortable. Often seems to happen on busy trains with no where to hide/find personal space. Without access to the key under any clothes the 'damage' could be difficult to recover either in personal pain or causing the device to slide off my member due to the friction.

    Need to find a way of stopping the device trying to hide down a trouser leg as without sticking a hand in and rummaging around (on a busy train for instance...) its hard to sort out. Getting some 'pouch' underwear mentioned elsewhere might work but I'd have to find it and/or oder it first. Could also go back to my school years and opt for boxer shorts. As my keyholder has opted to start with plastic rather than metal that could work as the device doesn't need support. More a way to free its movement. (Though there's always the possibility that the weight of jeans/trousers will provide enough pressure downwards to override that pressure anyway.)

    Wearing underwear for the next while would be good - especially to catch any unexpected 'surprises' from the cage. (It happens naturally right?) But equally that seems to be a toss up against roughly 3 hours pain per day,all the tie with strangers staring at me. Hmmph.

    Woke up to a message this morning saying that the locking is still going ahead. So that leaves today to get everything sorted out. Whereas tomorrow will be day one of lock up and my annual staff appraisal. Going to be a very 'interesting' day.
     
    Jasmic68 likes this.
  12. OnTheEdge
    Offline

    OnTheEdge Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2015
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    75
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    4:39 AM
    Sometime today the Emlalock session starts. Just hoping all the right precautions have been put in place when the key finally leaves my control. From new, more spacious, underwear to various different configurations of the device.

    I have been told that I won't be given the first weight goal until after the session has started - although it won't be anything too major to begin with. That and we are both in agreement that I should keep to the promises I made whilst on the International Chastity Month thread and that's still nearly three weeks away.
     
  13. OnTheEdge
    Offline

    OnTheEdge Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2015
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    75
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    4:39 AM
  14. OnTheEdge
    Offline

    OnTheEdge Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2015
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    75
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    4:39 AM
    Yesterday was mostly a day of pain and uncomfortability - that and having annual reviews and seemingly walking around the whole of the city with a ring round my testicles reminding me it was there every time I took a step.

    It wasn't until the evening that I discovered why some of my train journeys and meetings might have been so uncomfortable for a while - and that is because even when I thought it wasn't possible to push the device into my flesh any further when setting up - there is some way to go. I need to get my penis erect (even though still caged) and push down hard until it gets to a sweet spot of concertinaed hardness. Then suddenly an extra amount of space seems to become available and I can fit the device lower and tighter to my body - all the time having to remember to pull the cage up and flat to the base of my penis otherwise all you create is a pretty little penis hat. The makers claim the device I'm wearing will settle over time and use and be harder to pull out of (especially the shaft). I waiting to see if this is the case as there is a considerable degree of tenting at the moment when things get out of line. That and the constriction of my underwear (it's only cotton - well cotton/lycra mix) tends to draw my member to the bulge (front pocket) and therefore encourage both both an erection stretch and dangling downs - where in chastity I guess everything so be contained in as small a space as possible without the option for even accidental growth or stretch.

    Things are better now having manipulated my body as best I could even whilst being locked with out the key. Last night was the worst as I'd realized one of my testicles had escaped duing the effort of the day. I knew I could probably survive with it just hanging off the one - and indeed it seemed to be doing quite well - But I decided I wanted to try and reset so over a 2-3 hour period (going by TV programmes not my watch) I was able to push everything together and very nearly, or, maybe even,,, get both testicles back out and through the hole. It wasn't until I woke up with a bit of start that I realized that maybe it had't gone through properly compared with the other. That was the end of sleep but not for a while a stinging testicle.

    Cue lots of pushing and resetting but having to stay locked and wrestle around the device because my keyholder is currently the only one, with, the ability to release the key. Right now, everything seems surprisingly comfortable - whilst I am waiting to see what happens when I start moving around again. My keyholder has initially set a week on the clock allowing him time to settle in and familiarize himself with the controls (of primarily using a computer program - rather than first hand interaction). That and most of the websites and respected members of the community on this site that I've had the pleasure to chat too seem to think that until you can go a week without complaint you're not ready for long-term chastity. After that - well it's a dangerous game to even suggest a figure...

    I have an understanding with my keyholder of the broad strokes we are taking but not the entire route. Fortunately he has been understanding when I have pointed out some things which might be hard - well mostly awkward for me - and listened and acted appropriately. I've also been able to send him a few ideas and suggestions of how we could do things, such as monitoring progressing and completing tasks. But have been mindful to remember and express that the final decision is his - at least if i am keen to ever see the key again.

    I knew a potted history of my keyholder before starting with him having done a little digging on the site and then asking for more information/clarification - and so I know something of his own personal tasted and predilections and how these might translate. His email address was a bit of a surprise though. Although I can't really repeat any of that without his permission (and nor do I really want to). But it does forebode talk of some fairly dark limits should we ever go that way. I'm not suggesting in anyway that it is a relationship of light and dark but it does have the scope to be broad and go in many different places.

    I have never desired a male keyholder (and come to think of it except in moments of fantasy I have until recently never wanted any kind of keyholder) but now that I have one I'm glad that it is a man (and one in a committed relationship to another person at that). As a heterosexual male the relationship between us has not been sexual in any way other than the locking of my penis and its control (but if you're reading this you probably know what I mean to say). But it does leave some thoughts in my head about what he gets out of the relationship. Whether its just being helpful to others, or, the power of knowing that its up to him to tell me when I can unlock. Probably a combination of all of the above.

    My personal power dynamic is probably about to get a little more complicated especially as wish their to be two people with a claim over my body. First the keyholder master but secondly, well a woman, a particular woman Who anybody who has read my thread here will have heard of a few times. The master knows about her (I think) both from skimming my thread and a recent conversation about shaving and drawing attention to my chastity outside of the Mansion. Specifically I don't want to screw anything up with her...

    To be honest - and I've kept it out of most of my posts on here - there is also a third spiritual dimension which is reflected in the way that I live and work so any relationship I have, or may have, with each will have to be respectfulwe are only of the others at least from my end. Whereas I also need to be mindful of the fact that especially in a dom/sub modal giving up power and control to someone else is part of the point. In which sense I am lucky to have a key holder who will respect my limits but is still prepared to use threats of punishment to push me further than I thought capable.

    Dating whilst chaste (to a different master) could prove really interesting - even if I don't plan to strip off every time I meet her. Would she be able to feel the device, Or will I be able to contain the troublesome 'hard-ons' which have been so awkward to manage in the last few weeks when wearing devices out in her company. (She never knew, of course.) It feels wrong of me to talk like this about where when we are only good things and I am talking (vaguely) about here on an open board about 'secret' things. I'm kind of putting all my eggs in one basket then shaking them vigorously whilst trying to juggle.

    I don't know what it is about this woman but over and above anyone I have ever met, dated or related(?) - she is the only one who consistently has the power to turn me to jelly and a gushing emotional wreck even on a forum of complete (well complete-ish) strangers.

    Who needs a dominant keyholder when you can just try and return to the world of dating.

    (PS - Is this just me talking, or the three weeks of sexual denial and now lack of control?)
     
    stachefan74 likes this.
  15. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    10:24 AM
    This sounds fantastic. The change in dynamic when you give someone else control is powerful. I think your story just got a whole lot more interesting! You do need to sort out your damn privates though, if anything is going to let you down it is them! I hope you experience what I have which is a sudden ease in how you wear the device. I don't quite understand how it works but my Holy Trainer is way more comfortable now than in the first few weeks.

    Good luck! And as for getting into the dating game, that should add a whole new slant to your story again! I actively want you to walk up to this woman right now and ask her out, if you haven't already. if I was your Keyholder that would be your first task!
     
  16. OnTheEdge
    Offline

    OnTheEdge Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2015
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    75
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    4:39 AM
    No. Mean. He's probably going to read this - the keyholder that is. Not fair. And power of veto? There's reasons honest...

    Look. You know what Sunday is right? (And if you don't Mrs Jasmic might be considering an extremely long lock up for you...)

    It's commercial tat but. [Spoilers.]


    It's worrying how easy it is for me to channel a thirteen year old boy - and even that show's my age.

    Now if you'll excuse me I have somewhere to be. Just let me think of somewhere.
     
  17. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    10:24 AM
    Sorry! I don't know the entire story obviously. I'm not trying to get you into any bother. And you always have hard limits that are important in a locked Keyholder relationship, I am sure he will understand. Sorry!

    And yes, I have plans for Sunday and Mrs Jasmic, or at least I did until an hour ago when she informed me that we are going on an unscheduled business trip to Frankfurt of all places, so plans will have to change.
     
  18. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    10:24 AM
    by the way I would have deleted my previous post, but this three minute edit thing makes that impossible. Sorry!
     
  19. OnTheEdge
    Offline

    OnTheEdge Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2015
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    75
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    4:39 AM
    Tis okay - I was slightly aware that that being the case what I typed in the first place was also a little fool hardy :)

    My usual method of telling how reckless/caught up in the moment I was is to reread the post and spot exaclty when it becomes clear all proofing and grammar has gone out the window!
     
  20. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    10:24 AM
    You should try typing on a damn iPad if you want fun and games with spelling, grammar and the dreaded autocorrect! I actually prefer the red squiggly line of a pc to autocorrect now.

    That said even a red squiggly doesn't spot when you type lime instead of line, like I just did. Yep, I typed red squiggly lime. Sheesh.
     
    OnTheEdge likes this.
  21. OnTheEdge
    Offline

    OnTheEdge Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2015
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    75
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    4:39 AM
    @Jasmic68 - All was fine. Though there was a friendly warning that there could be complications (for me) should I wish to date her - he's all for it. I don't think I can simply ask for the key back and say I've changed my mind though.

    Not wanting out anyway. Just commenting.
     
  22. OnTheEdge
    Offline

    OnTheEdge Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2015
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    75
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    4:39 AM
    Just got a mental thought stuck in my mind at a stage when it's far too early to do so. I'm not even dating this woman for crying out loud. But it could be a fairly evil mix for me at least:

    If I knew him and her. Dominant and friend. But also they first knew about and then talked to each other.

    Certainly not something which I will be trying to arrange in the short term (a normal relationship would be nice) but the possibilities for carnage could certainly fry my mind. Need to make sure that I do everything in my power to make sure this thought isn't in my head as I drop off to sleep tonight.

    Why am I still talking about this. ... No don't tell me. It's a rhetorical question.


    OnTheEdge: Putting the hopeless back into romantic...
     
    Jasmic68 likes this.
  23. OnTheEdge
    Offline

    OnTheEdge Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2015
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    75
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    4:39 AM
    And then, back in the real world, both my testicles suddenly and without warning escaped.

    Having a quiet evening in, I headed upstairs thinking that I'd crash on the bed and get out of my day clothes. That's when I noticed the device was only holding on by trapped flesh - not testicles.

    I emailed @lock667, my master, at once and explained what had happened. Ironically he had just sent me a message himself asking how the fit was today... I apologised and explained what had happened. Suggesting that if he provided the combination lock number I could send a new photo directly to him. Then after a quick rinse of the device tried to refit.

    When i finally had made it - working as fast as possible - I contacted Sir again only to discover that he had since sent a couple of messages saying we should instead start a new session, whilst I could take the time to clean up a little and rely on my honour. I'm hoping that he will let me stay locked so I don't waste the 60-90 minutes it took to get back in. But equally I have no idea how secure it is. I mean it should be secure. And I'm not sure if I started again with this ring setting (its one size smaller than I was fitted in earlier) could be done any better.

    I don't think Sir has realized exactly how much that failed session against my name in the Emlalock statistices is going to annoy and bug me. I want the clean sheet and the perfect record. I'm not particuarly sporty but give me a lovely clean sheet of statistics and I'll make the data available in various formats whilst looking for the mean, mode and median.... ;)

    But anyway I screwed up again. My testicles belong to me after all. Fortunately I am only required to lose a tiny bit more extra weight to our already small opening target. Had better make it now.

    Grrrrr.

    (PS: Going to keep CM mood as Angelic for a while - if anyones interested ;) as although my body screwed up I confessed straight away and didn't exploit it... . Still deserve the punishment of course though that's Sir's perogative.)
     
  24. OnTheEdge
    Offline

    OnTheEdge Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2015
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    75
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    4:39 AM
    Still wearing the same configuration and its still staying on. There's a little punching of the testicles by the ring but I think they are both in.

    Anyway, it doesn't really matter as my master asked for the padlock photo earlier today. Emlalock is playing up - so he requested I send it to him direct.

    Have had a little chance to reflect and get to grips with exactly what is expected of me. I'm usually happier if I have an idea of what is going on even if I had no direct method of getting there. Completed a course years ago for work where I was labelled as the "person-you'd-want-in-a-crisis". Maybe not all that good at everyday life but should something go wrong it spurs their mind/interest and they can find traction in solving it fast. Probably why I like chess so much.

    Also put together an owners manual of rules; thinking if I was going to list them all anyway I might as well make them look pretty.

    Wish I knew what was going on in someone else's mind right now. She should have got the package as is sort-of 'tradition' which will probably lead to a conversation tomorrow if she makes it back in time from her travels across the country tomorrow. - The problem with genuinely nice people, is that they tend to be genuinely nice.

    Still at least it should be over with one-way-or-the-other and I can go back to posting/living like a grown up.

    'At the end of the day' (...) it doesn't really matter. But there''s a reason why so many crap films are made around the subject.

    Two options. 1) The good one. 2) I cut my losses and get to focus on myself for a while without having to look out for others.

    I know this The Vault - but shouldn't I be talking about Chasity. (Yes - I know, you want the bigger picture, apparently).

    I'm drifting and a little melancholy.

    I asked someone my performance style once for some solo stuff I was prepping. Their answer: "Bittersweet".

    At least I have found an amazing pair of underwear (well a few pairs strictly) I think I can now walk around without two much pain - Maybe even sit on a train. Should really not be so excited about this. But it is amazing... ... ...

    * * *

    So just thought about it - Today is officially: pants.
     
  25. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    10:24 AM
    A boom tish!
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice