After more than a year of nearly a 24/7 lifestyle, we hit a snag. Neither of us was putting in the effort needed for each other. Took about a month break over the holidays until she messaged me that she missed our game. Surprising, since I usually bring up the topic...she admitted that she was stressed and neglected me. (Kh's do have a responsibility to care for us as well) We talked in depth about what we each like about chasity, need from it, and expect from it. Setting that baseline of understanding to move forward with. We discussed issues such as the key being accessible to me. It had been on her keychain or in a drawer and me being able to access it bothered me. It makes it seem as though it wasnt too important to her. She said that it should take self control too, I agree, but self control can be difficult when you've been denied for weeks on end. So, we ended up getting a wifi lock box to keep the keys in. Only she can access it or grant access with a temporary code and it alerts her if it has opened! Now the keys can sit in plain sight and I cant do a thing about it! We also talked about the device itself. I explained that no matter what, in a hot soapy shower, it can be pulled out. We discussed different options and now we are currently waiting on a frenum piercing to heal up and for our new evotion device to show up! In our discussion about the things we need, she said it's not much to do with sex for her, but the extra attention she gets and the power she feels keeping the keys. I explained to her that it mostly has to do with sex for me, after all that's what makes it work. The fuel for the engine if you will. We both agreed that more sex is better and that sex doesn't have to mean penetration every time, or unlocking for that matter. We are also going to be working on breaking down the societal b.s. that makes her feel guilty or timid about sex and that what we do in our own lives is nobody else's damn business as long as we both are happy and enjoying what we are doing. We are looking forward to the "permanence" of our new device and working to let our inner "sluts" out. We are excited to continue to grow and explore together.
Glad you have both been able to have an honest, open and frank discussion. I wish you both all the best with you new journey.
Great to hear such good communication. Best of luck to you. Sounds like you're both ahead of the curve
Sounds like a breakthrough, but it seems that the successful couples keep having this discussion periodically. Be careful what you wish for.
Hey there! A great post! Very much like the way my partner and I approach things.... Make it win-win for both!!! Great to hear from you! Kindest regards J.