The next Generation of FemDomme Women:

[bobbijo]

As I said, I am coming at it from a newbie position. Perhaps it's all just semantics anyway. If the play is as it should be ie safe, sane and consenual then ultimate control is with the sub anyway - that's what the safeword is for.

You make an excellent point in that the nature of a relationship - any relationship - is that of consensus following a power struggle. We started out exploring FLR as a conflict resolution mechanism and have evolved in lots of ways that perhaps men without Dommes explore via a paid service - at least a professional Domme knows (hopefully) what she is doing in terms of safety. I've had to really self study and with hubbie's feedback - adjust accordingly. It's going to take me a long time to consider myself as competent.

As a confirmed dona-fide sub, i can lay claim to something in area of three hundred pro sessions. The only control i had (and sometimes not even that) was who.

 

[cockislocked]

No Safe word?

As a confirmed dona-fide sub, i can lay claim to something in area of three hundred pro sessions. The only control i had (and sometimes not even that) was who.

Interesting indeed. Did you not have a safe word then? (i.e. as per CQ's point, control ) Was the only end when the time/money expired? Or were limits pre negotiated, again, controlling what ultimately happens to you? Have I interpreted your statement too literally?

Rgds

 

[bobbijo]

Interesting indeed. Did you not have a safe word then? (i.e. as per CQ's point, control ) Was the only end when the time/money expired? Or were limits pre negotiated, again, controlling what ultimately happens to you? Have I interpreted your statement too literally?

Rgds

With a few there would be 2 levels of safe words, basically a stop & talk, and as top and sessions done. More had one safe word with some discussion.
A few had none, some i trusted and some i did not.There are about seven in the area, that if i was not owned, and if i had the coinage (tribute+ tip+ a small gift((homemade fudge works great) and a thank you card)) i would love to visit and would not use or want a safe word, i trust them that much.
Generally wants wishes and desires were talked about. Limits were always discussed, both hard and soft.
i worked as a house boi for a Pro. i learned that it is not a buffet; i will have some of that and a little bit of this followed by a bunch of something else. The last 150 or so, i tried to state a desired outcome and how we got there was up to the Domme. i always tried to find out what was there preference.

 

[cockislocked]

Clarification

With a few there would be 2 levels of safe words, basically a stop & talk, and as top and sessions done. More had one safe word with some discussion.
A few had none, some i trusted and some i did not.There are about seven in the area, that if i was not owned, and if i had the coinage (tribute+ tip+ a small gift((homemade fudge works great) and a thank you card)) i would love to visit and would not use or want a safe word, i trust them that much.
Generally wants wishes and desires were talked about. Limits were always discussed, both hard and soft.
i worked as a house boi for a Pro. i learned that it is not a buffet; i will have some of that and a little bit of this followed by a bunch of something else. The last 150 or so, i tried to state a desired outcome and how we got there was up to the Domme. i always tried to find out what was there preference.

Thanks for the candid response, much appreciated. I would suggest you had control there I have the same arrangement with my Domme. We have a stop that and do something else word and a get me the fuck out of here word.... I have only ever bailed out totally once. Oddly just the other day.... as it happens.. Would you mind elaborating on how you felt about being Dommed by someone you did not trust? I just don't get that at all. I hope that is not judgemental, it is not meant to be. Maybe I am in a different place to you, but that seems risky to me? In your first post you said that you sometimes had no choice on who the sessions were with. I have to say that I find that both a huge turn on and a massive red flag too! I would be very conflicted by by that, but what a loss of control.. wow! Guess I am just not that brave!

Rgds

 

[bobbijo]

Thanks for the candid response, much appreciated. I would suggest you had control there I have the same arrangement with my Domme. We have a stop that and do something else word and a get me the fuck out of here word.... I have only ever bailed out totally once. Oddly just the other day.... as it happens.. Would you mind elaborating on how you felt about being Dommed by someone you did not trust? I just don't get that at all. I hope that is not judgemental, it is not meant to be. Maybe I am in a different place to you, but that seems risky to me? In your first post you said that you sometimes had no choice on who the sessions were with. I have to say that I find that both a huge turn on and a massive red flag too! I would be very conflicted by by that, but what a loss of control.. wow! Guess I am just not that brave!

Rgds

Last part first, it may not have been bravery, it was probably desperation and horniness, even though sex want the program.
Unless someone had a great reputation, the fisrt session was not full of trust. Scary, fun, etc, but trust is earned. There was some there i guess most every first session.2nd-5th sessions were alway bbetter. Its not judgemental, i had more money than brains. Remember in Minnesota, No one can agree to be assaulted, spanking is assault, so this was mostly underground in my earlier years. Not every session was good. A drunk dropped a knife and cut my pubic area, she screamed and ran. I was spread eagle tied up in my living room, unable to see the wound, though the pain was real and I knew I was bleeding. It freaked me out and i dont like knifeplay.
I have been mugged had several robbery attempts that resulted in a physical struggle and ripped off three or four times.
Most every time I went cheap the results were not as good as I had wanted.
I developed relationships with a few, some lasted many years. One gorgiouse , skilled Red hed became a freind and confidant, I even babysat her daughter.
for several years, i spent most extended weekend and most f my vacation as a House Boi. I recieved 7 weeks vacarion, 12 sick days and a bunch of holifays. It was an experience. I learned how the better Pros view certain client types etc. I also met many, many Pros, it was way cool.
As a quick aside, most of the realy good pros I kmow/Knew were educated, knew how to balance budgets, invested well and had other skills. Many were wealthy, by the age of 50.