Hello, I have recently been locked up by my girlfriend and we both really enjoy the effects. We aren’t really into too much D/s play but we were wondering about the length of denial. Specifically is there a time frame experientially in which the best behavior is presented? Can you go too far? Thank you, B
You can basically do whatever you want. There are some extreme examples of people saying they've been locked for months or years. I would guess most people do a week to a month at a time but that's just a feeling from reading forum posts. For me personally I feel like my submissiveness really gets going after about a week. I would like to cum once every week or two, but usually when we do chastity it's for a month. We don't do chastity all the time though. We've done it a handful of times the past two years.
For me there are two separate things: locked and denied. I am not always locked (though I would like it to be so), but I am always denied - unapproved orgasms are big no-no.
I'm locked up and denied for on average 2-3 weeks. I agree that "better behavior" starts around 1 week in, though that varies. I don't think there's a chance to go "too far", though I highly advise you start slowly and increase relatively slowly (don't go for 3 months your first time out).
I agree, it’s to each there own, I am locked every day, and released every 5 or so days for hygiene, then straight back in, ins now approaching the year mark that madam actually touched my penis, but I am allowed anal stimulation pretty much whenever I ask. So I am not totally denied pleasure.
My duration has shifted from a weekly release to every 2 weeks on average. We do observe Locktober and Lent and she has pushed me to over 100 days twice. When I am released it’s for some great sex, otherwise my 2 weeks is no release or orgasms. On the last 100 day lock up, she started giving me caged orgasms which has helped, otherwise they were milking. On the other side of the coin, she gets all the orgasms she wants.
We’ve been trying different lockup lengths over the last two years. I’ve done as long as 26 and 28 days, but averaged 7-14 day locks followed by a week or two of freedom and sex daily. I find I can get in a submissive mindset pretty quickly when the cage goes on though. We’re doing Locktober, unless my Wife changes her mind I will be released on Halloween Night for sex. She’s teased that I’ll be locked again right away for No-vember, but who knows. I’m hoping for the cage to be my default setting but with being allowed sex and orgasm very 7 days, 14 at most. But I have completely surrendered my sex life to my wonderful Wife. And she does like piv and would want it daily, but she loves my attitude and service to her when I’m caged, so she says my tongue works great and she’ll use her penis without allowing me to cum when she needs it. You and your Wife / KH just need to keep trying different durations and talk about what’s working and not for you both. Eventually you’ll be where you’re supposed to be. Good luck
We don't have lock up times at all. I'm just locked 24/7 and as close to 365 as possible. My cage is removed every 3-4 weeks for a good clean but I'm immediately put in another cage so as not to be left free during deep cleaning! The only time I would be let out (apart from hospital or doctor, if required) is for Mrs Chaste to "allow" me inside her. This is never more than 2 or 3 times a year at the most! She is a dab hand at giving me "leaks" in my cage and finds it highly amusing! For her pleasure, she is more than happy with my tongue, her strap on and vibrating rabbit!
Of course it is a personal decision, as to what works for you. I had in mind that an orgasm once a month was a good plan, but so far i've not had that many this year. So you have to be flexible with any plan as well. Just do what works at the time for you. Good luck and enjoy.
Hello from a cold an windy place, as winter slowly approaches. Now comes the time to get cosy and snuggle up. My wife (the worlds best wife) and occasional KH and myself decided to let Lady make the decision, on how long my lockup time and free time will be. We use a 32 deck of cards to determin the duration of each stint (free or locked) which ca range from 15 days minimum to 69 days at the max. (that has as yet to happen) and always make a little event out of it (wine and dine her). If you `re interested in the ``rules`` of the game (we call it chastitypoker) pop me a note and I will send you a translated copy (english or german) have a nice weekend
As I have said elsewhere, for my wife, PIV is painful at the very best, so that is not an option. She finds giving me relief a duty rather than a pleasure. I don’t like DIY but resisting temptation is a terrible distraction. If I do have an orgasm I go into a slump for days. For us, practical and beneficial chastity seems to take the form of a repeating pattern. After an orgasm I am in a slump for about a week. I lock myself up and hand over the key as soon as I feel any temptation for DIY. From then on I am always locked at night and mostly during the day, but I might be let out for activities in which chastity might be uncomfortable or dangerous and which take my attention so that thoughts of orgasm are not a problem, for example, DIY that requires a lot of bending etc, going swimming and perhaps for a trip out. It seems as though, after about 2 weeks, the beneficial effects of chastity begin to wear off and I get a bit grumpy again. At that point I am instructed to orgasm and the cycle starts again.
It takes me a week after comming to start to get back in the zone. 3 plus weeks are best. We used to do the schedule thing but my wife prefers to make spontaneous decisions. I've gone as long as 5 months. She'll also go through times where she'll make me come often. She loves to edge me in the shower. Often it's daily for weeks on end without release and then sometimes she'll let me come 3 days in a row. She never tells me until the very last second. The not knowing drives me wild.
This was my calculations for subspace time and how long is best for her benefit. https://www.chastitymansion.com/for...-started-to-get-real.42007/page-3#post-478424 And if she ramped up the teasing https://www.chastitymansion.com/for...-started-to-get-real.42007/page-3#post-478433 Let her decide with the evidence in front of her. What percentage of time does she deserve you to be in subspace? Then show her the stats.
In general, when I'm locked, it's for three weeks at a time. Usual to be unlocked for work, locked at all other times though. Have done just over 2 months before. I became a bit clingy and needy for my wife's liking. Over time, it's got longer and longer too, and stricter.
It is definitely a “to each their own” type of thing. In the past we would keep me locked about 70% of the time with the longest being 2-3 weeks. When we were on and off with it my wife found that it usually takes about 3 days for her to notice a change in my demeanor. In July we decided to push our own boundaries and keep me locked 24/7. I generally get about 20 minutes to shower on Sunday evening but the cage comes of in the bathroom and goes back on before I can leave the bathroom. My wife usually allows me to cum once a month but that has been getting longer and longer lately as well. Just work with it. Find what is best for you all and enjoy every minute of it!
What happened after 90 days? A couple of weeks using a cage, and denial for 40-50 days is a long time for us.
I suspect that duration and intensity of the 'effects' of locking up is likely dependent on your individual libido and therefore also age. It really should be undertaken in whatever way works best for you without too much concern for what others think or experience.
For me, the sweet spot is around three weeks, that's enough time for everything to build up to the max and to reach an incredibly satisfying plateau of arousal that I find exceeds the frustrations. When I've been locked for longer, I find I just get so used to the cage and if anything my libido declines. Weirdly, I've sometimes had better orgasms after three weeks than after six. I massively respect people who are locked for several months or longer - though I struggle to understand it. But each to their own!
Once we had a cage that could work, my wife (then GF) started more or less doubling lock up times. Was a lot of fun and got me into it when we went from 1 day to 2. Even when we went from 1 week to 2. She stalled a bit at 2 weeks (had some trouble going longer) and the worst thing I ever did was to mention that she couldn't go more than 2 weeks without me. I was kidding of course, and she laughed too, little did I know why. 4 weeks (immediately following that laugh) was okay, the next 8 excruciating (and taught her that I really don't plateau out to her liking until at least 6 weeks in) as were 16 and 32 weeks. Haven't made it much beyond 9months because 1) we are still newbies at this and 2) yet old enough to require uncaging for medical issues... My Queen still isn't sure if we have hit the ideal time yet, which doesn't bode well for Mr. Happy.
My Wife has been loving the power of being in charge of sex, I still get to have plenty of orgasms a month, but she decides when. Lockup usually run 1-3 weeks and then a week or two free and daily sex and orgasms. Her horniness has definitely increased since our dominance role swap, and it makes me happy and hornier knowing she’s having fun with this, I’ll do whatever she desires, and my tongue has become incredibly strong