Question About Chastity's Benefits

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GhostUser

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Aug 30, 2010
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This question is mainly to the keyholders and device wearers out there, especially those who live together, though of course I'd like to hear all opinions.

If there was no device, yet you still received whatever benefits you expected: attention, courtship, help around the house, do you think there would still be an accompanying 'sexual charge' to your relationship?

In other words, everything else being equal, between the two scenarios, how much do you believe the chastity device influences your relationship?

Thank you.

Ghost
 
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For me, the charge comes from the denial and has nothing to do with the other aspects. The hornier I get the more I want my wife--and she loves that.

The build up is the key, so I do not need the device but I like the mental arousal I get from wearing it.
 
For me, the CB scratches a personal itch for bondage which improves the experience. I think, also, the device is a token of relinquished control. It makes cheating and masturbating more difficult and, in my mind, provides a stronger symbol of that power exchange.

mikecb
 
GhostUser said:
This question is mainly to the keyholders and device wearers out there, especially those who live together, though of course I'd like to hear all opinions.

If there was no device, yet you still received whatever benefits you expected: attention, courtship, help around the house, do you think there would still be an accompanying 'sexual charge' to your relationship?

In other words, everything else being equal, between the two scenarios, how much do you believe the chastity device influences your relationship?

Thank you.

Ghost
Click to expand...

My hub and I operate mainly on the honour system now although he does wear a CB6000 when away on business. We did start with occasional device use, then went to constant wear. He then was allowed to remove it overnight for comfort reasons. When we have discussed this, we agree that there has been a training element necessary to get where we are today and it's unlikely that the honour system would work for us if we hadn't gone through these stages first. We still do "play" when real life allows and he still feels submissive although the strength of his submission does seem to wax and wane. I'd say that chastity is just one element (perhaps a re enforcing one) of a Female Led Relationship and there are numerous other factors that create and maintain the "sexual charge". As Mikecb says, the device is just a token in the whole scenario and when my hub is not wearing a device, he usually wears a glans ring to the same effect but less mess and hassle.
 
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All else being equal, I don't think the device changes anything between us one bit. I love my wife to bits, sometimes shes hard to get along with, other times shes an amazing thing of beauty.. we have ups and downs and that's going to happen regardless of a device.

When we were looking for devices, one of the key aspects for us was that it would be a low maintenance affair. We don't want to have to commit the time to take it off every day or two for cleaning.. for her, it should be set and forget. If she feels like unlocking me, then so be it. The device isn't whats important, we do, would and have loved each other just as much without it.
 
Celtic Queen said:
My hub and I operate mainly on the honour system now although he does wear a CB6000 when away on business. We did start with occasional device use, then went to constant wear. He then was allowed to remove it overnight for comfort reasons. When we have discussed this, we agree that there has been a training element necessary to get where we are today and it's unlikely that the honour system would work for us if we hadn't gone through these stages first. We still do "play" when real life allows and he still feels submissive although the strength of his submission does seem to wax and wane. I'd say that chastity is just one element (perhaps a re enforcing one) of a Female Led Relationship and there are numerous other factors that create and maintain the "sexual charge". As Mikecb says, the device is just a token in the whole scenario and when my hub is not wearing a device, he usually wears a glans ring to the same effect but less mess and hassle.
Click to expand...

We talked about using this short term then see if the changes we make might be done without the "device" I'm curious how long your full time wear was and how difficult it was? And what kind of husband is your hub post change?
 
We had an amazing sex life prior to chastity and still do. He was also the most attentive, romantic and sexually-adventurous man I've ever met, and still is. This was one of those things pet wanted, and I indulged him.

The only difference was that it helped me change my focus from giver to receiver, even though I am still giving, it releases some of the pressure and guilt I used to feel from doing things that pleased purely me and did not benefit others.

Why use ropes for bondage when a submissive could just lie stil?

Why use a hood when the submissive could just close their eyes?

It's just one of those things we like, so we do it.
 
I (again!) agree with celtic queen (i dont know how i keep agreeing with you :)).

We needed the device the first few months for training (mostly me).
I just couldnt control my masutrbation habbits in the beginning.
Going from 3-5 times daily to 0 is tough at first!

And it probably helped mistress to know she was really in control.

Now i am never tempted anymore when i do get unlocked (ie sometimes overnight when ballstretching has made things to painful).
So i feel i could go without a device and never cheat again.
I mentally no longer want it unless Mistress approves.

Plus the energy and mood benefits are just to great, so i no longer have any interest to cheat.

But right now mistress still wants me to wear a device all the time.
Which is fine by me. If that makes her feel more sure that I cannot cheat (and become grumpy).

So once the man is properly trained i think you could easily go wihout a device. A device may still help with feeling more controlled though, which can be nice.
 
I think there are 2 real tangible benefits. First is that she enjoys both teasing _and_ mildly tormenting me so the device makes the occasional tease go from enjoyable, but frustrating to frustrating and slightly painful. That's a real physical difference that scratches her slightly sadistic itch (and my moderately masochistic one) and it's enough to change the dynamic somewhat. The second real difference is that a moment of arousal when unlocked is just that. A moment. A moment of arousal when locked can last a significant length of time. She teases, I become aroused, me becoming aroused makes the device do its devious thing, that makes me focus on being aroused, that makes me stay aroused, that makes the device continue to .... you get the point. The device itself isn't doing anything, it's just a catalyst that makes a passing moment drag on for at least one of us. So, we'd still have our relationship, and still do all the things we do, but the device dials it up to eleven.
 
In my experience my CD makes me feel like my wife is holding my cock all the time, even when shes not there. so not using a device I would not get that feeling and therfore not be as aroused/fustrated and then probably not be as attentive.
It could work for some people, but I don't think it would work for me.
 
Jimi123 said:
We talked about using this short term then see if the changes we make might be done without the "device" I'm curious how long your full time wear was and how difficult it was? And what kind of husband is your hub post change?
Click to expand...

As usual with all this type of thing, it varies from couple to couple as one would expect. Hub wore his device for a good 6 months and he said how much more focused and centred it made him feel. Now he doesnt wear it, I occasionally request that he does just to remind him of what he went through to be where he is now and he always wears it if he is going to be away overnight. Before we went down this route, my hub and I often had a few power dynamic issues in our relationship despite him introducing the D/s component. He put this down to the age old problem of being driven by the little brain- as it were. From his perspective, he says that the device reminds him that he does not control his penis anymore. From mine, I can see that it makes him happier, feeling owned in this way. Personally, I think the CB6000 is an ugly, functional looking thing and not remotely sexy in itself by the way. From a user perspective, there are all manner of difficulties that range from hygiene, skin irritation and nightime erections to contend with so I would say you'd have to be pretty motivated - or have a specific kink - to maintain use.

Think of orthodontic braces as a route to straight teeth - that might be the closest analogy :-D
 
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[quote name='Spike's Bitch' timestamp='1284580675' post='53462']
I (again!) agree with celtic queen (i dont know how i keep agreeing with you :)).


[/quote]

It's because - as a woman - I'm always right :rolleyes:
 
Celtic Queen said:
It's because - as a woman - I'm always right :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Good point, and absolutely undisputable!

However, does chastity influence the relationship between my Mistress and me? Definitely! As i stated many times before, the chastity belt I am wearing is less to keep me away from cheating on my Mistress like secretly masturbating or having affairs. For my Mistress it is more like a symbol of owning me - so to say, like an oversized engagement ring ... or should i better say engagement panties *giggle*
The main effect of the chastity device, however, is how it influences my mind. Keeping that nasty piece of meat out of reach, out of sight and eventually out of my mind makes me feel more feminine ... or at least less manly. In fact, after about half a year in the belt all manly urges (as miniscule as they were before anyway) have vanished and my feminine persona has taken over completely. At the end of the day this is the benefit my Mistress values most.
And yes, last but not least the belt immensely serves my fetish for steel bondage ... quite selfish, i know, but none the less true.

maid katrin
 
Mistress Watchful said:
We had an amazing sex life prior to chastity and still do. He was also the most attentive, romantic and sexually-adventurous man I've ever met, and still is. This was one of those things pet wanted, and I indulged him.

The only difference was that it helped me change my focus from giver to receiver, even though I am still giving, it releases some of the pressure and guilt I used to feel from doing things that pleased purely me and did not benefit others.

Why use ropes for bondage when a submissive could just lie stil?

Why use a hood when the submissive could just close their eyes?

It's just one of those things we like, so we do it.
Click to expand...

I guess one part of the reason I was exploring this was to gain that sort of liberation for my wife. She is quite good at giving but feels tons of guilt / pressure with her own pleasure. I would (honest) be quite pleased to have her be more "pleased" with our love/sex life.

Another part that I wanted to explore was the simple focus on her that seems to be a big part of this. I know this is not a relationship solution. But some of the things that seem to come out of this are things we currenlt lack and so... That sounded like a nice tool re: some links that suggested it as a relationship "fix"

I think the problem is that while the kink of this has some interest for her (She thought it might be hot) she said she just doesn't think she would be into this enough to do this. The idea being the lock would end up rusting and that not being at all what I want.
 
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