No safe word

I understand you perfectly. I have a safeword in our sessions, but I never used it so far. To me having no safeword would feel even better when playing with my wife/Mistress. I kniw she knows what pain is right for me.

If I would play with another person, then I would prefere to have a safeword.

 

we have a green, amber and red safeword system

 

We don't have a safeword for chastity, but we do have one for bondage and ball beatings (Red, Yellow, Green). In fact, she's able to hit far harder and make the bondage much stricter with a safeword.

But it doesn't make sense for chastity. Though I suppose, there is an emergency key, but I've never used it.

 

Sounds like he’s saying she can keep
Pushing the beating and bondage until/if he utters a safe eord. If he doesn’t, she knows she can keep pushing. Without the safe word, she may always be wondering if it is too much, but he doesn’t want to ruin/stop the playtime, etc

 

When we first started experimenting with BDSM we each had a safe word. When that eventually changed to femdom and then FLR we stopped with safe words.

I haven't had a safe word for many years, but just recently we re-introduced one to make it easer for her to judge how far to go with her riding crop and flogger. She really enjoys using those toys on me but worries about hurting me too much, so the safe word lets her enjoy herself without worrying.

My safe word is "mercy". She's been surprised that I haven't used it yet, my pain tolerance is way higher than she realised.

 

No safe word here either. We have been at this for many years.

It would not do me any good being gagged to try and utter my safe word.

It's not a game for her. Discipline is discipline.

 

We’ve been around the block a few times and “safewords” have never played any important role. But trying new things is rarely fun if there isn’t a way of communicating what you are feeling in some way. Hopefully, the more you know about a person or situation, the easier it is communicate what you are feeling in a sexy way.

 

In my latest trend of responding by the title and not the thread, I’ll say this:

DON’T have a safe word and you’ll probably die

 

If it works for you, go for it. YOLO.

 

I’d say, if you cannot communicate with your partner, and engage in BDSM, and you are placing yourself at risk. There are many ways of communicating and mitigating risks.

 

Exactly!
No communication = certain death.

Safe word, folks. It’s important

 

Consensual non-consent is hot. I know many in the BDSM community who practice this with their slaves. In a long term, committed relationship there's really nothing more freeing. Wouldn't recommend it for pick-ip play though

 

Wrong on both counts. But, you’re at least in the ball park on your first statement and only partially correct in the second.

 

No safe word is a very hot idea which is why we use a ball-gag for anal torture. However, I've had to use it just recently. I need a better ball gag and maybe a gentler learning curve. In my mind I'd rather black-out or cry but in reality when you want to be at your threshold of pain and your SO knows this you're probably going to need to agree on a safe word. BTW she didn't stop straight away, just verbally coaxed my into going a bit longer with it. This kind of thing is OK with us.

 

My Princess and I started out with safe words years ago... but lately have 'dropped' them for most things.

I do not have a 'safe word' that will stop anything. She decides. But she will sometimes insist on a 'safety call'. Our basic rule is ... if I am panicking or I am worried that I have been harmed/damaged - I need to tell her. Whether something stops or doesn't stop is still up to her.

This is important ... because I kind of like begging her to stop. And she likes ignoring me. So I will often be using words and behaviors that express how much I want or need her to stop. Which she is ever so good about ignoring.

Removing a safe word, only comes after there is a strong sense of trust on both sides. It can feel very exciting, but it should only be considered after a point in a relationship you both understand and trust each other.

It also doesn't replace the need to communicate during any scene (physical or not).

There is a difference between 'I really don't like that' vs 'This is maybe hurting me physically or emotionally'. The first, you learn to endure and comply. As a submissive, I don't get to 'like' everything. But the latter is usually not something a Domme intended to happen. You should always have a way to COMMUNICATE that you are worried that something bad has happened or is happening, in a way that the dominant will acknowledge in the moment. A 'safety' word is one strategy. I consider a 'safety' word to be 'less powerful' than a traditional 'safe' word. A 'safe' word usually is about a sub being able to stop what is happening to them. Where our 'safety' words are about being able to say 'I don't feel safe' or 'something bad happened'. And having the dominant to at bare minimum find out what is wrong, before deciding what happens next.

My rule is only: just acknowledge that I am struggling or in distress. I trust her to know when to stop or when to just give me a moment to compose myself. The acknowledgement is very important, since that alone is usually all that is needed, but it doesn't' have to mean an 'end' to who is in charge.

'no safe words" should not mean 'shut up and take it' - no matter what.

 

Do you have a safeword in your job?

Like, you are stacking shelves full of cucumbers and it looks precarious and you need to tell you boss that the amount of cucumbers is dangerous and he tells you "Shut the fuck up you wimp, get stacking" and you you do it becasue you are a fucking mindless drone and end up crushed my a mountain of cucumbers like the idiot you are, and you would be saved if only you had a safeword like "pineapple" and had you siad "pineapple" your boss would have said "okay, I hear you" and you would not have been crushed by a massive cucumber avalanche.

lol, puh-lease.

Sorry, but if you think your safeword will trump your common fucking sense or the commone fucking sense of those you play with, then let me be the first to congratulate you on your darwin award nomination.

 

@asyouwishmiss very well put and I should say my mistress and I are at this stage. I trust her completely and she slowed down when I needed her to. I've never had any lasting damage but my body was saying stop. Getting over this threshold is part of the fun for both of us. I wish I could have endured it because I know it becomes easier when stretched out. It was perfect, I told her so, and we slept lovingly into the night.

Maybe JaySaysYes will find this level of intimacy sometime and stop graffiting on other people's posts.

 

I feel a safe word needs to be in place but never needs to be used.
To be able to plead for your dominant to stop is extremely exciting when being ignored.
The safe word ensures that it is all still consensual.
In this lifestyle No quite often means yes keep going.
If the sub really can't take any more there should be a word to be understood that a line is about to be crossed.
If a sub wishes to beg for mercy but wants these requests to fall on deaf ears they just stay away from the safe word.
Similar to rape fantasy, there needs to be an understanding when No actually means No.
Same for Dom and Sub.

 

who are you playing with?

 

QED

 

My wife went quite a lot further than not having a safeword, and I had strict rules around communication, especially when she was correcting me, and it was explicitly stated that the rules could never be suspended.

That said, my wife loved the D/a dynamic and psychological domination, but wasn’t interested in more extreme physical play, so there wasn’t a lot of risk.