Long term

It's fantastic that you are telling a bunch of strangers, as that's far more important than telling your partner.

Also, having regrets about things you can change makes you a much more powerful man and therefore a much gayer man.

I confidently speak for every proper man on the planet when I say; Sealing that lock shut permanently is the best thing for you.

 

There's so many other options besides piv if that's no longer an interest. No chasity is truly permanent anyway short of a chemical or surgical solution. In end this is a conversation to be had with her not us.

 

I have lived the chastity lifestyle with my wife for 10 years now. We are both over 60 now, and things change. We use it as a way to keep things interesting. If you're ready to try a permanent lock up, I say go for it. All that matters is what makes the two of you happy. I wish you only the best. I would be interested if you have any updates as time goes by.

 

What does chasity and flr have to do with being gay or cross dressing? It doesn't all go hand in hand.

 

For the most part, this site does not have too many people that give snarky responses. You just happened to have triggered the usual ones. I think, though, the thing that triggered them was your statement that you haven't spoken with your wife about it. The other stuff, is par for many, so sure, you should feel comfortable sharing. Not sure what the comment about gay and womens clothing is about though. I don't think that is the majority on this site.

But back to whether the wife participates or not. What you'll find is the experience is so much more impactful if you're wife participates a little. Even if it's just to put the key in the drawer by her side of the bed. It turns it from a solo activity to one where there is a little bit of a connection. So I would suggest you tell her what you want to do and ask her to simply take the key. She doesn't have to tease (unless she wants), it just would be nice to get an acknowledgement.

 

I'm basically full-time locked. PIV is also not needed as I'm little older than you and it doesn't preform like it use to. But around every 4-7 days need to unlock for a good cleaning and readjustment. Permanent sealed, no way for me.

 

A counselor/therapist is much better suited for this than a bunch of potentially fake people on the internet.

Honestly if my partner didn't want sex (and I still did) it would be a deal breaker. We wouldn't even be "partners" at that point.

 

Being unlocked every 4 to 7 days isn't permanent though. I go longer having an open type steel cage without the cage coming off at all. Not a contest just pointing out the problem with the entire permanent chasity thing. None of it is truly permanent short of maybe surgical or chemical solutions.

 

There's, like, two gay active members on this site. If you know where the rest are around here, please, point me in their direction!

 

Totally agree. From what I've seen, the 98% of the posters here are straight. It makes sense, we're a minority,let alone gays that are into chastity? much less.

Judging for your joining date, you must have been here for what... five years? and all this time you didn't figure out that crossdressing or sissifying does not automatically makes you gay?

I'm not into crossdressing or being sissified (maybe wearing female lingerie at most) and I am as gay as I can be. Most threads I've read here, are straight that are into this but won't touch another man's dick. Like... ever.

 

We're derailing this thread now but you literally said,

When in fact there are VERY few LGBT active members of this forum. We understand what we read and there are two conclusions to be made from what you say: Either you are homophobic or you assume that cross-dressing makes you gay.

Dude this forum is dead straight and even squeamish and unsure about being pegged more often than they aren't. LGBT has less presence here as my loud-ass mouth spewing sassy, gay BS into the void at imaginary people that will have no impact on my real love/kink life. You made a brash assumptive statement and have been shot down; accept that.

 

Either we believe in your false dichotomy or we don't?

 

If all goes well I will be caged in my coffin.

 

I guess that depends on how soon that is. Too soon, and I suspect all didn't go well.

 

It sounds like your relationship is lacking in multiple levels. You might try having some open communication.

 

You need to talk to her and be fully honest with her about how you feel. As they all say "Communication is key!" because it's true! If you think chastity is the way to go and you have a device, then tell her you want to give it a try and find other ways to please her in the process. Don't let your fear hold you back... The one thing should fear is not telling her in the first place. That's the worst thing you can do, so go and talk to her and don't hold back.

 

I have not had PIV in over 30 years. My wife had a full time live in girlfriend for most of our marriage. She married me to have a kid and after finding out I was sterile, combined with my real life small penis with ED, plus trying another guy to see if she would enjoy PIV with someone else and did not, she said she is done with men and moved in her girlfriend who we learned was bi too.

I am locked all the time unless there is a medical reason not to. PIV will never happen and oral sex is maybe once a year or less. Sex is only for her pleasure but I have learned to enjoy sexual pain and that is what I get. I do share her orgasms as they calm me down. This has been my life for most of my life and if it were not for her girlfriend being an excellent domme with a good imagination, my marriage might not have lasted but between the two ladies my sex life was a submissive's dream. You name it and we probably did it. Yet, we never identified as a FLR.