Over time, my wife has began to enjoy and see the befits of being my keyholder more and more. However, she doesn't insist on me wearing my cage. When I'm not caged, there are times she might suggest I put it on in a light worded way. I really would like her to develop a passion for keeping me caged. It seems like I am topping from the bottom unless I can get her to forcefully insist I wear my cage and don't complain. I'm starting to feel like I want to "almost cheat" on her. I feel this would help her jump that gap. I'm not sure on ways to do that, so that is what I'm asking here. I've recently made a dating profile on a site with intentions of having her see it. Not sure if that is the way to go. Also, thought of going to massage pallor and hoping she see's the credit card statement. Maybe, I should have a lady start to text and call me? Any ideas of how to go about this? My biggest worry is I overstep and breakup our relationship. But I think it would break up our relationship if it turns out as "almost cheating", so that's what I'm shooting for. PS- I think I posted this in the wrong section of the Forums. My apologies for that. I spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to post in the correct spot, but only the "introduce yourself" forum has the post button. Did I miss something?
how about trying honesty , underhanded manipulation is the worst way to build trust in any type of relationship
So you'd rather fake infidelity and quite likely end your marriage then have a honest conversation with her? I'm sure this won't end badly at all.
Seems like a crazy/stupid thing to do. You know your wife better than me, but if I did that to my wife, I honestly suspect she wouldn't be my wife much longer. I would say you should NEVER EVER play with your commitment to her. Whether it's a ruse or not. Your commitment is never a game. It is a vow.
Well, honestly I would not follow your plan. Chastity, and frankly any other kink just won’t work without open and honest communication.
You are responsible for your actions and reactions, you can not control your wife's reaction to your plan . It just sounds like the risk of it going fully tits up is way to high . have conversations about chastity isn't easy but it might just be easier than divorce. My wife accepts I self lock and is always happy to find me locked but doesn't actively key hold or play any part . There are times it breaks my heart that she refuses to engage with something she is well aware is so important to me but I've never considered such a risky plan. Even if I have to wait another 5 years for her to engage then it will be worth the wait. I don't just want to be in chastity, I want to be in chastity for her . think long and hard before taking such action. Good luck
Dude, think really hard on exactly what you want, write it down and make sure you have your desires written down exactly like you want them, then sit here down and explain it to her in a way that doesn’t put pressure on her and makes her feel wanted and desired. I know this will not be easy and don’t be afraid to let her see that in you. Women appreciate it when men make the effort, especially when it is difficult. Not to sound callous, but they eat it up. Be specific in your expectations but be willing to compromise and don’t push her. She is probably unsure of not only how she is dealing with this but also afraid to push you in ways she is unsure of how you will react. I know it can “kill the romantic fantasy” but taking this thing completely apart down to the nuts and bolts and having both of you putting it together is the only way this will work out and be enjoyable for the both of you. You obviously have a certain level of “kink”( for lack of a better word) but do you have any idea where her level is at? Unless you talk to her at length you will never know, but once you do, you might unleash something beyond your wildest dreams. Think about it, put it on paper, talk to her. That’s really the only way for you to begin to get what you want - and you might get more than that.
So to pseudo-quote: 'I want my wife to take more control of my dick by locking me up more so 'I' can enjoy what 'I' want to enjoy. To achieve this I am going to set it up to look like I am in the process of cheating on her to make her angry/disgusted (presumably) and want to 'punish' me by ensuring my dick is locked up?' Why am I finding it more and more believable that men are actually devolving... Goddess Jade.
You're better off to worship her when in chastity and show her the benefits to her than to break her trust to try to force her into it.
Just tell her simply that you want her to be on control of tjhe chastity and that your desire is for your natural state to be locked up. Tell her this will enable you to shower her with all the affection and attention in the world. You can try getting her to punish you but that may end up being no chastity ever or no wife. Not a good choice really is it?
Sounds like really dumb idea to sacrifice your relationship for a kink. Maybe paper her some more and focus more on her needs rather than your own. When she see the advantages of chastity she might like it even more. Maybe she has more important things going in her mind than your kink. Focus not on your needs but on her needs.
You know your are attempting to manipulate someone via a threat to selfishly take from her something she doesn't want to give you... But why you don't know that's abhorrent is a really big concern. Reflect on why this lie is something you are considering and why lieing in this way is an appropriate way to treat your wife. Consider the fear you are attempting to create and then leverage. Why can you be okay with this deceit, especially when it's designed to exchange value in your relationship for sexual benefit? You shouldn't just not do this. That isn't enough. You need to figure out the core of why you are so willing to betray your wife to force her into a kink.