How to deal with sub drop post orgasm.

Yes Mistress.

The sub drop has been the focus of my responses and my last message has been more of a comment that many are sure this other dynamic is at play. I hope they are wrong … and based on your comments, you are not new to your role and hence you would have known if this was the case.

Thank You for allowing us to try to help.

 

https://www.bawrpro.com/products/ba-05?VariantsId=11755

Something like this. Maybe with a PA piercing

 

I’m very well just no one to have both my keys

 

with respect mistress you seem to be far to kind and easy on him , How do you know he is not cheating and pleasuring himself whenever he feels like it ?

He agreed to let you control him , You should have both sets of keys or the set he has should be in a locked safe that he has should be in a lock box or safe that only you has the key or combination lock for.

You are the mistress , he surrendered himself to you for you to control, you make all the rules or if hes not happy with that , you stop being his mistress/keyholder And you will find another sub to keyhold and control , plenty of subs looking for a mistress , tell him he can be replaced very easily . x

 

My wife has me locked in an open metal cage that quite literally totally negates the need for removing to clean, also she does not let me have a key, in our experience there has never been a reason that I would need a key but not her. It is a total shift in mindset to not have the ability to ever see or touch my uncaged dick unless my wife allows it.

 

For me sub drop from 1 orgasm is like 8 hours long. I am back to submission in like 3 days and a mess by 10. If he is going 3 weeks his hormone tank should be loaded up and drop should be minimal. It’s possible his hormones are out of wack and maybe he needs Trt. Easy to test his testosterone levels. Most states he can order on his own. They will throw him on test and hcg. Opinions of him cheating the system stem from knowing that time frame should have his hormones pumping and refractory on one orgasm should be short. 3 or 4 orgasms would take like 7 days to recover from and his tank would be empty. You can cut off something he likes as a punishment, physical touch, seeing you naked, providing your pleasure etc and he should quit his crap. He either wants to submit or doesn’t. Test him and find out

 

The best way to deal with subdrop is a device he cant pull out of and the keys in your bedside drawer.
That way his attentions will be focused on you.

 

"A chaste sub having post orgasm drop" is an oxymoron.
Either he's in orgasm denial or he's not. Having post orgasm drops means he's not in denial, no question, you're not enforcing it, and neither is he.
If he is to be allowed a key only for emergencies and cleaning then I suggest the following.

Emergencies:
Have two keys only - one for him that can only be used by breaking a tamper evident seal, one for you to unlock him under supervision. And have a real deterrant if he doesn't have a very good reason for breaking the seal.

Cleaning:
Use a cage that allows adequate access for cleaning. Steel or titanium cages are usually much better in this regard than other materials, and can be easily worn for many months without the need for removal for hygiene.

 

Welcome to CM, it doesn't matter what you asked, many here will just tell you their thoughts on a variety of topics whether you asked or not. LOL

"How long should I keep him locked?"

"I like turtles!"

"I didn't ask about turtles"

"Red turtles are my favorite"

 

I still think that showing him your appreciation for being locked up would help with the drop. When I have an orgasm with my wife, I want to do more for her not less. I want to engage more, not less. So, maybe I am wired differently I can imagine knowing that I will not cum for a while can be difficult - even if it is his decision. What would you do if you were prohibited from touching yourself for weeks? (Please don't take offense, just trying to give a different perspective). I would love to hear your thoughts...

 

I don't know what it is like to go through menopause...but I am in my 50s and so is my wife - an she is going through it. We sleep in separate bedrooms but do have sex. I was only trying to provide a male perspective that the denial is hard and it might be helpful to get some empathy, love and respect in return to get over the shock of denial. I am not saying you are not doing any of that just making an assumption.

 

JaySaysYes may have been blunt in his wording but don’t disagree with his premise. He can get out when he wants.

But, you say he gets back in rhythm in a few days. To me, that says he’s faithfully chaste and just rebuilding his testosterone.

When you’re together and he gets release, is the quantity of his load as large as you think it should be?

As for ideas, is video chatting him after your rendezvous an option? Instruct him to self-stimulate through his device and/or use a vibrator to get his juices flowing again. Or, dare him into (safe) exhibitionist behavior. Perhaps a remote controlled butt plug vibrator he’s required to wear from, say, 8 to 9 pm.

Just some thoughts to get him back in the game post-orgasm.

Have you thought about accepting a second sub? (And no, I’m taken )

 

If can’t have full control and he has a key what is the point

 

This is normal, and will probably continue as long as you let it continue.

The key (no pun intended) to stopping it is to let him know that it's not acceptable, and that it hurts you, and that you require better from him. You can direct him 100% yourself, or make it his problem to figure out how he's going to fix it for you, or somewhere in between. But in general, if you want it to stop, the key is to make sure that he understands that you see what's going on, that you will not accept it, and that it's going to change. As much as possible, you want him to squirm a bit through the process, so probably have the conversation (and to your satisfaction) when he's already desperate for release.

Excellent. So next time you see him, you can say: "I told you that this hurts me. You repeated it, knowing how much it hurts me." Make sure he explains to you that he knows what he did and how it hurts you (this is a good healing process). Obviously he needs to apologize for it, but apologies are cheap! So in addition to his admission of how he failed you and his apology, you need at least three things: 1. His explanation of how he's going to fix this (or his agreement to your plan on the same); 2. How he's going to make it up to you, since he already did something that he needs to make up for; and 3. What the necessary punishment is for the fact that it happened. You have a lot of leeway in each of these, and as much as you feel comfortable with, let him do the work of figuring out the answers. For example, let him pick the punishment, but before that, make sure he knows that you have a punishment in mind, and if his isn't worse, you're going to go with yours. (You don't necessarily have to have one in mind, but it's not a bad idea.)

This is also normal. Try to enjoy the process. It's like taming a bull. Get that ring through his nose (figuratively ... I think?) and enjoy the power you have in your relationship.

Jay, try not being an asshole all the time. Thanks.

(And to the original poster, that's just the way Jay responds to everyone. He assumes that they're all making stuff up, and they're all fakes, and they're all cheating, and ... )

Yup, there's a lot of truth in this. But it's a balance: You don't want to push a relationship into resentment territory, but you also want him to get addicted to your control. From my own experience, it's so ridiculously off the charts addictive that I probably shouldn't try to explain it, just to avoid getting too excited while typing.

I also think you did a great job explaining it. I am not convinced that everyone actually took the time to carefully read what you wrote, but since most of the responses are from men, and men aren't so good at the attention-to-detail bits ... well, you probably know what you're dealing with.

This is brilliant. Positive reinforcement, brilliantly played.

 

I try very hard, but my current sexual orientation makes me physically intolerant of bullshit.

Maybe you could try not being an insensitive clod, eh?

 

Hey, I said "thanks". I thought that was pretty sensitive of me.

 

Physical distance does not prevent chastity control if both partners are on the same page. It can be very fun and keep you in the loop with whatsapp videos or live video calls. I 've had to insert butt plugs when I'm away and of course provide video evidence of locking. Sorry but you need to get your chastity control right before worrying about sub drop. Is sub drop even your problem or his? If I get sub drop I am forced to worship my girlfriend's body and eventually it goes away.

 

There's a parallel thread on Fet...
The infamous "drop" and changes in mood - Chastity and keyholders meet and greet | FetLife