Is her pleasure your priority?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by RonDom, Apr 17, 2024.

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  1. RonDom
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    RonDom Member

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    Are you focused on her pleasure as your priority? Do you prefer to give her physical pleasure than experience direct physical pleasure yourself? Have you rewired your brain so that you actually feel pleasure yourself when she is experiencing physical pleasure? When you feel horny or aroused does it motivate you to dive between her legs to lick or suck her off so that you can satisfy your arousal? Do you feel like you have had a mental orgasm yourself when she has an orgasm? Do you feel satisfied when she orgasms as if it were your own?
     
  2. Alphasub6988
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    Alphasub6988 Active member

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    Without a doubt I find my pleasure within hers. Really in all aspects to be honest.
     
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  3. atxmtb
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    atxmtb Long term member

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    Yeah, this is true. I actually get more pleasure from giving than receiving. And I am more satisfied if I know she enjoyed herself, rather than whether I climaxed. In fact, I end up a bit disappointed if I have been satisfied. A bit odd. It happened once I started wearing the cage. The longer I have been wearing it, the more that my own pleasure becomes completely secondary. The one issue with all this is my wife wants me to get some. I allow that to happen for her, not me. Strange.
     
  4. cagedsissyslave
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    cagedsissyslave Long term member

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    All my pleasure comes from giving pleasure to her it makes you feel so wonderful to have her get multiple orgasms and yes her orgasms are mine
     
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  5. knightly
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    knightly Long term member

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    Yep, I agree with others. I do love being teased and the "in the moment" pleasure vs driving towards orgasm feels amazing, and that energy has only one place to go...onto her. Through which she loves feeling my energy, attention and pleasure she receives.

    And I totally feel satiated (to some point) by her receiving pleasure or an orgasm. At first it was a major head game because my body was used to receiving an orgasm. But as we've experimented and learned, my body doesn't expect an orgasm and just enjoys her ride. The energetics possible between two people are really amazing.
     
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  6. herluckyboi
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    herluckyboi Long term member

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    Yes to all. Her pleasure and orgasms are our pleasure and orgasms.
     
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  7. Jail Bird
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    Jail Bird Long term member

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    She's number 1 always.
     
  8. newplay
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    newplay Long term member

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    I love to give her orgasms and she gets a few.
    I work for her pleasure before mine
     
  9. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    Having spent the last few years mostly caged and going from daily orgasms to none over the previous 13 months, sadly, I am still very much focused on my own pleasure.

    She thinks only a really long lock of a year or so will change things, and while my fantasy-brain quite likes the idea, my normal brain does not.
     
  10. RonDom
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    RonDom Member

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    It sounds like you need to be rewired.
     
  11. Mandrake_74
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    Mandrake_74 Long term member

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    Absolutely all of the above !
     
  12. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    There are many myths surrounding chastity and this idea of selflessly giving pleasure is one of them, IMO.

    There are no selfless acts, since those that perform so-called selfless acts are invested in the outcome. e.g. I give money to charity because it makes me feel good about myself.

    Giving pleasure to another is just the same, and it's the same deal in the kink community.

    If you enjoy pain then it's not pain, if you enjoy being humiliated then it's not humiliation, if you enjoy serving then it's not servitude, if you enjoy being locked and denied then you aren't being denied.

    So, if you gain pleasure from giving someone else pleasure then you are doing it for yourself.

    You could ask "what about if you don't enjoy it?" Well, clearly you must enjoy it otherwise you would leave.

    But yeah, maybe I need some kind of conversion therapy that works.
     
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  13. atxmtb
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    atxmtb Long term member

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    Perhaps, but you're over thinking it. I suppose the question could have simply been worded, "Do you prefer your KH orgasm before you? Are you willing to give up having an orgasm for her". Then you take out the what kind of pleasure you get out of it.
     
  14. submascpartner
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    submascpartner Active member

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    Yes, absolutely true that if she so deemed it I would be ok not ever being unlocked as I find that my craving for her drives my desire to pleasure her and be her Good Boy. Simply put, the more she denies me the more that I want to pleasure her. But at the crux of it might also be the question you posed. Am I craving to pleasure her because it’s what she desires and enjoys or is it to achieve a sense of relief as I vicariously share in her orgasm? My wife knows that I get a sense of relief from giving her an orgasm and maybe why she started on occasion masturbating to orgasm having me not participating, just watching. For my wife keeping me locked is a power shift and she has discovered just how much power is an aphrodisiac for her. She now finds just as much if not more pleasure/arousal from denying me, even at the sake of denying herself (PIV), than the pleasure from the PIV brings her. This is a truly slippery slope as my wife knows that I want to pleasure her not only to be her good boy but that I also get relief from her orgasm. This is when my wife really starts to deny me. She wants all of my focus to be on her pleasure, not mine, and when it is not she will deny both of us until she can see that it’s back to only her pleasure and needs. I can trace my decreased unlockings back to when my wife realized the more she denied me pleasure the more arousal she felt.
     
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  15. OrdinaryGuy
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    I get very little pleasure without her. It's like getting dressed up, preparing a fancy dinner, breaking out the china, and eating by myself. It isn't the same without a partner.

    When alone, I'll just indulge with some Cheetos on the couch. It is a taste of simple joy, but empty and comparitively bland.
     
  16. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    Okay, so men can get pregnant, and women can have penises, and now looking clearly at something is overthinking.

    But, you are right; if a different question was asked, then my reply would be irrelevant.
     
  17. MrPickle
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    MrPickle Active member

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    I focus on our pleasure.. Wife, children and myself.
    We are one.
    We all deserve to be pleased with ourselves.

    Unless you mean sexual pleasure and that's just a trick question yes?
     
  18. Elfman
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    Elfman Gay werewolves & martinis

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    I don't think prioritizing your partner's satisfaction over your own is a chastity-specific thing. It's CERTIANLY not a straight-only thing.

    If you think about it, while orgasms are incredibly important to our evolutionary-bottlenecked male brains, if you don't have any desire to satisfy your partner beyond earning your own orgasm, that's generally a symptom of psychopathy.
     
  19. Headtrip
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    Headtrip Long term member

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    Yes. And much more sk than BC, so for sure there is a rewiring. At least for me.

    Most notably: that "satisfied" feeling I used to get after my kwn orgasm I now get after hers. And the last time I had my own I felt emptiness.

    Hopefully we all love pleasing our partners, but I do believe chastity changes our perspectives a lot.
     
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