Hello all, I am relatively new to chastity and I am looking to make it a permanent thing, which is why I thought I’d post an introduction. I thought I’d mention where I currently am in my chastity journey and where I’d like to end up. I apologise if this is long but I am grateful for those that read it, comment and engage with it.
I have always liked the idea of chastity (along with bondage), since I was a teenager, but it took a long time before I introduced it into my relationship. It was initially just a tool to make things in the bedroom last longer but deep down I wanted it to be more. My partner on the other hand is more conventional and ‘vanilla’, so is happy with sex and very irregularly.
Just shy of a year ago I purchased a device designed for more longterm wear (a fake Holy Trainer) as my previous device was designed for play only. My partner obviously knew I had this fetish as we had used one before, but not one like the Holy Trainer. I introduced it to her by wearing it and said I’d like her to control when I orgasm and that I’d like to wear it round the clock. I gave her a key and kept a key myself for safety, as I wanted to ease myself into it. Sadly since then there has been no progression (we have taken a chastity hiatus a few times) and hasn’t gone as I’d have perhaps intended. She simply forgets I’m wearing it and, put simply, hasn’t jumped on board with it. I am always the instigator for intimacy, even if it’s for her benefit not mine, and there is no teasing or dominance on her half associated with it. Part of me doesn’t mind this as I don’t want to enter a Dom/Sub relationship; things were fine before. However I was hoping that chastity would liven things up, fulfil a fetish of mine and bring us closer (as many articles suggest it does!).
I have soldiered on but I am not sure how to go from here. Part of the issue is that I am having difficulty sleeping whilst locked up, which means that I myself am needing a key so I can let myself out when necessary. Ideally I’d like to make my key an emergency spare that is locked and stowed away and that she has the only key and therefore all the control. I am uncertain of how to do this and know that if I can’t go 24/7/365 wearing it then I can’t expect her to jump on board and commit either. I think an added issue is that lots of the ‘collateral’ associated with chastity, such as leakage and the need to milk the prostate should long term lock-up be the goal, she would find disgusting (which she can be forgiven for).
Ultimately, if we are not on the same page and if it is a burden in her eyes then this chastity journey won’t go very far (or at least not as far as I’d like). I know I need to walk before I run, but the added shame of this is the other chastity-associated fetishes that I have. I have always liked the idea of heavy bondage, especially with chastity. I would also love to work up to being pegged by her one day and perhaps introduce some cum eating into the mix. However, I fear these fantasies will remain as just that. I also think see no point in mentioning these ‘extremes’ to her if the precursors are hard for her to jump on board with.
I guess I am writing this monologue to ask about other peoples experiences and getting their partners on board.
-Am I being selfish to want and desire all of the above when my partner simply isn’t into all of this stuff?
-Have I let my fantasies get the better of me?
-Is it wrong of me to drag her on a journey that she not interested in going on?
-What has the journey been like for you and your partners? Any similarities?
Perhaps the more pressing question and one that may help get my journey started is how on earth does one adapt to sleeping in chastity? I posted a thread on this the other day and tried to solider on through, however last night I had to take it off. My erection was so hard that it was pushing my cage really far forward and the forks/pins of my fake Holy Trainer started to operate, so I think the cage would have come off even if I hadn’t unlocked it.
I have always liked the idea of chastity (along with bondage), since I was a teenager, but it took a long time before I introduced it into my relationship. It was initially just a tool to make things in the bedroom last longer but deep down I wanted it to be more. My partner on the other hand is more conventional and ‘vanilla’, so is happy with sex and very irregularly.
Just shy of a year ago I purchased a device designed for more longterm wear (a fake Holy Trainer) as my previous device was designed for play only. My partner obviously knew I had this fetish as we had used one before, but not one like the Holy Trainer. I introduced it to her by wearing it and said I’d like her to control when I orgasm and that I’d like to wear it round the clock. I gave her a key and kept a key myself for safety, as I wanted to ease myself into it. Sadly since then there has been no progression (we have taken a chastity hiatus a few times) and hasn’t gone as I’d have perhaps intended. She simply forgets I’m wearing it and, put simply, hasn’t jumped on board with it. I am always the instigator for intimacy, even if it’s for her benefit not mine, and there is no teasing or dominance on her half associated with it. Part of me doesn’t mind this as I don’t want to enter a Dom/Sub relationship; things were fine before. However I was hoping that chastity would liven things up, fulfil a fetish of mine and bring us closer (as many articles suggest it does!).
I have soldiered on but I am not sure how to go from here. Part of the issue is that I am having difficulty sleeping whilst locked up, which means that I myself am needing a key so I can let myself out when necessary. Ideally I’d like to make my key an emergency spare that is locked and stowed away and that she has the only key and therefore all the control. I am uncertain of how to do this and know that if I can’t go 24/7/365 wearing it then I can’t expect her to jump on board and commit either. I think an added issue is that lots of the ‘collateral’ associated with chastity, such as leakage and the need to milk the prostate should long term lock-up be the goal, she would find disgusting (which she can be forgiven for).
Ultimately, if we are not on the same page and if it is a burden in her eyes then this chastity journey won’t go very far (or at least not as far as I’d like). I know I need to walk before I run, but the added shame of this is the other chastity-associated fetishes that I have. I have always liked the idea of heavy bondage, especially with chastity. I would also love to work up to being pegged by her one day and perhaps introduce some cum eating into the mix. However, I fear these fantasies will remain as just that. I also think see no point in mentioning these ‘extremes’ to her if the precursors are hard for her to jump on board with.
I guess I am writing this monologue to ask about other peoples experiences and getting their partners on board.
-Am I being selfish to want and desire all of the above when my partner simply isn’t into all of this stuff?
-Have I let my fantasies get the better of me?
-Is it wrong of me to drag her on a journey that she not interested in going on?
-What has the journey been like for you and your partners? Any similarities?
Perhaps the more pressing question and one that may help get my journey started is how on earth does one adapt to sleeping in chastity? I posted a thread on this the other day and tried to solider on through, however last night I had to take it off. My erection was so hard that it was pushing my cage really far forward and the forks/pins of my fake Holy Trainer started to operate, so I think the cage would have come off even if I hadn’t unlocked it.
