A forever kind of thing

Hindsight is 20/20, and I’d like to believe that most of us wouldn’t be where we are today if we knew beforehand the details of the journey, and our lives are full of them. The small ones that consist of getting a cup of coffee from Starbucks in the morning, to larger ones like training for a marathon, or climbing the corporate ladder. We can label these types with a hard start, and end date. Then there are journeys that seemingly have no end at all, and an equally hazy start date.

The start date of my journey seems to change and get pushed back farther and farther the more I remember and the current exact date is actually a mystery, but there are enough details around the event for me to place it. As for the end, well… I hope it never ends.

My wife and I have been married for 10 years, and we’ve known each other since elementary school. We grew up in the same town, and had the same teachers in school. When we got together, it wasn’t supposed to last. We were supposed to be summer flings and nothing more. As it turned out, we were more compatible than we originally thought. I wasn’t typical her boyfriend, and she wasn’t my typical girlfriend. She dated Hollister models, and she was out of my league. So when we kissed on her front porch, sparks flew and I knew this was something great.

Fast forward to the sex. Long story short, the sex was amazing. One of the things I remember was I always took care of her first. I never got to have an orgasm before her, and at this point, that decision was voluntary. I loved giving her pleasure and seeing her come always got me going. That, and I was sort of a 2 pump chump when it came to her. She was way out of my league after all.

A few years later, with mostly vanilla play as our main mode of orgasmic transportation, we were having sex when what I believe happened, was the turning point in our relationship. One stormy night, after we had put our daughter down for bed, we were having sex. I had gotten her off a least a couple times with my fingers and mouth and it was my turn. She climbed on top and starting riding me like a pony. I was about to explode when our daughter opens the door and for less than an instant, we see her peering into the dark room. She’s only 2 years old at this time so even if she was able to see into the dark, she has no idea what’s going on. My then girlfriend, jumps off me, wraps herself in a blanket and scurried our daughter back her room. I lay there motionless in bed, frustrated as I wait for her to come back and finish what she stated. The familiar feeling of butterflies and the strange head space came back to be as I waited. It was only a few minutes later when she came back into the room. I was still rock hard when she crawled into bed onto her side. She thruster her ass toward my cock. However, this was not an invite to resume, it was her way of saying, I’d like to cuddle and go to sleep now. I didn’t press the issue. The butterflies were dancing in my stomach, and there was a cloudy haze in my head. Yes I wanted to come, but this felt better somehow. I grabbed her waist and pulled it closer to mine and we drifted off to sleep.

The next morning is much more blurry. I remember waking up thinking about what happened the night before, and having a brief conversation with my girlfriend about it. She was apologetic, she said that she was just exhausted after her orgasms. I think she even said she was embarrassed that our daughter has interrupted us. I told her everything was fine. I said I enjoyed the frustration, and that the sensation has lasted through the morning. I don't remember what her response was after that, but it doesn't much matter. What happened that night set the stage for the rest of our lives.

 

I promise I will get to the steamy current events, but for now I want to share the times leading up to today. Perseverance rules all, even when you get kicked in the nuts.

Up until this point my wife and I, whom I’m going to start referring to as Emma, almost exclusively were having vanilla sex. Neither of us expressed any interest orgasm denial or chastity, or even knew what the hell it was. After last night, I started looking up to see if any other people had experienced what I did. I’m pretty sure I googled something like “sex without getting off” to start off with, which led to orgasm denial sites, which ultimately lead me to chastity, FLR and of course, Chastity Mansion. All of which seemed absolutely terrifying. I wasn’t much of a porn watcher outside of the normal “girls getting railed” stuff, so this was all very new.

Over the next few weeks, I experimented with denying myself orgasm during sex. I focused solely on Emma and her orgasms. I can’t remember if she ever brought up the fact that I wasn’t getting off, but if she did, I’m sure I just played it off like “oh no, I’m okay”, or maybe I even faked an orgasm. Who knows, it was so long ago.

I eventually worked up the guts to order a device. I had gone back and forth for weeks, maybe even months. Had the thing in my cart dozens of times, and even attempted to check out, but something went wrong like the expiration date on my card was wrong, and I told myself it wasn’t meant to be. Finally, it was ordered and arrived. Emma was at work, so I had the house to myself. It was difficult to put on because I was so excited. Also, it had so many pieces, I wasn’t sure if I had everything assembled correctly. After some time, and a few walks around the house to help subside my erection, it was on. I slipped the padlock through the hole on the post and clicked it shut. It was uncomfortable and seemed to be ill fitted. I didn’t care though, the feeling I had overpowered any other emotion and discomfort I was having in that moment. I was excited and scared. I had talked to Emma about chastity devices maybe a few days before, but I didn’t tell her I had ordered one, and she had no idea one had arrived.

I wore it for the rest of the day and waited for Emma to get home from work. When she got home, I couldn’t wait to show her, but also didn’t want to. I was afraid of what she would think. What if she was completely disgusted, what if she thought it was so weird, she would leave me, what if she loved it so much she turned me into her basement slave? (turns out that last fear is almost kind of coming true, more on that once I catch up to present day) We sat on the couch a watched TV for a bit. I had both keys in my pocket ready to present to her. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Hey babe, remember that night when (child) came in and interrupted us during sex?

Emma: Yeah, what about it?

Me: Well, ever since then I’ve been looking into this whole orgasm denial thing, and I think it might be something I’m really into.

Emma: okay, well what do you mean?

Me: When we have sex, I don’t mind just taking care of you, and not getting off myself. I actually kind of like it.

Emma: Yeah, but sometimes I like getting you off too.

Me: I know, but you really seem to be enjoying not having to worry about me after I’ve given you a couple orgasms. (This is me, not knowing I’m being very manipulative, and since then I’ve grown to know this is not okay)

Me: Remember when I told you about those chastity cages I found online?

Emma: … yeah?

Me: Well, I bought one.

At this point I was dangling the keys from my hand, trying to read her face for a response. I don’t remember what she said, I just remember her brushing it off. Knowing my wife now, this is how she deals with some uncomfortable situations. I put the keys back in my pocket and we continued awkwardly watching TV. A while later she asked if I was wearing it. I told her I was and asked if she would like to see it. She replied yes. Still sitting on the couch, I pulled down my shorts and boxers to expose my caged cock to her. She laughed. Again, knowing what I know now, this is her dealing with an uncomfortable situation. I took her response as complete humiliation, and I was embarrassed as all hell. I remember leaving the room, leaving the keys on the table.

I can’t remember if it was that night, or later we brought up the subject again. I told her I was hurt that her only response was to laugh, and it took me a long time to even approach her with it. I told her it felt like a kick in the nuts. She apologized for laughing but I could tell this wasn’t her thing, yet.

After that I was in and out of the cage every now and then. Mostly self locked, or leaving the keys on her night stand. Once she kept me locked for a month before my birthday. That month took a lot of self control for both of us. It became more of a game of, who would give in first. She is very easy, and claims I’m the best lay she’s ever had so its hard for her to resist, apparently.

Years past. By this time, I’ve experimented with a couple different devices, and found that the Holy Trainer V2 was the most comfortable, and the most secure (kind of). I could wear it 24/7, sleep, shower, and be active with it on, while keeping it and myself clean. It was mostly unnoticeable under clothing, but the looming fact that I could still slip out was there. Apparently, Emma knew this fact too, but never bothered to tell me until recently.

Emma had been holding the keys whenever I was locked up. She was starting to get into it. More than just humoring me too, she was enjoying the power. The more control she had, the more she enjoyed it, the more I craved it. That’s when I decided to get a PA piercing.

 

So I’ve committed to the idea of getting a PA piercing and brought up the idea to Emma. She’s totally on board and thinks it’s the hottest thing ever. I did a bunch of research, watched countless videos of the procedure and read all about the after care. After vetting the piercer and salon I made the appointment. Emma went with me. When we pulled into the parking lot of the salon she looks at me and says:

Emma: Oh my fucking god, your actually serious?!

Me: … Yeah? Im serious. Did you think I wasn’t?

Emma: Well, no, I mean yeah, I mean I thought you would chicken out?

Me: Well, we’re here, aren’t we? I committed to this, and you know what happens when I commit…

We get out of the car and walk inside. I tell the receptionist who I am and the appointment time. She confirms why I'm there and gives me the appropriate paperwork to fill out. After signing the release forms we were guided back to the room where the needle pokes happen. Emma is sitting on the stool, rapidly bouncing her leg and scratching at her arms. I can tell she is more nervous that I am. A few quiet moments pass when the piercer comes into the room. Once again, he confirms who I am and why I’m there, then asks why I want to get a PA. I want to encase my cock in a steel cage, that has a hook that goes through my dick to make sure I can’t slip out, lock it and hand my wife the key, is exactly what I didn’t say. Instead, I made up some bullshit about how I don’t have any tattoos or piercings, and I’ve lived my whole life like a good little boy, and this was my way of rebelling against my straight edge life. Who knows if he bought it or not? I’m sure he’s heard it all before. Up to and including men wanting to lock a chastity cage with PA hook. Him asking was probably just a formality to make sure I wasn’t there against my will. But how hot would that be?

The piercer opens all the tools and jewelry from their sterile packs and puts them into the sterilization machine. Emma is feeling a little more at ease after she sees all the precautions. She works in the medical field and is always concerned about my well-being. The piercer explains the procedure and goes over a little of the after care. The toaster oven looking sterilization machine beeps, indicating everything is extra clean and ready for action. I pull down my pants and lay down on the table. My member is out on full display, while I stare at the ceiling. He tells me to take a deep breath, and to breath out when he counts to 3. One, two, three and its done. No pain. I look down and there’s a needle and cork sticking out from my dick. We had discussed stretching to an 8ga before so that was the next step. That was the part that sucked. He took the stepper cone thingy and stretched me to 8ga. He slipped in the ring, tightened the balls up, and surrounded my cock with some gauze. We were done. I paid the lady receptionist and left with some aftercare paperwork and a can of H2ocean.

Sex and chastity of any kind was off the table for a couple months while I healed. This meant even for the first couple weeks, She was pretty much on her own if she wanted an orgasm. Still turned on the idea of my cock having a piercing, she could not wait until we were able to have sex again.

 

After a few weeks, we were able to have sex. VERY carefully. To anyone reading this, thinking of getting a PA, or any kind of genital piercing, listen to your body. If it hurts, stop. Long term damage isnt worth the short term pleasure.

Sex returned to normal after a few months, and we started playing with chastity again. I ordered a couple devices meant for PA piercings and experimented with them. All the off the shelf devices sucked. One was too long and stretched me uncomfortably. One didn’t have a ring and only hung from the piercing, which wouldn’t work at all. I modified one of my cages by drilling a hole on the underside of the cage, so I could thread the ring through, which worked very well, but was as equally unsecure as the holy trainer. I was on to something though with the modified cage. I did some more research and came across Rigid Chastity, and their custom made half shell. I read their measurement guidelines and took the plunge.

Months later (6+ to be exact) the device arrived. Emma and I were both excited as fuck. I kept her in the loop, at her request. She was eager for the cage to arrive and was constantly asking when it would. We opened the package together in our bedroom. I remember this vividly.

I am not huge down there, and when she says how short the actual cage was, she asked if it was going to be big enough. I assured her that I measured, per their guidelines many times, but the only way to be sure was to put it on. I put it on with her watchful eye observing everything. After I turned the brass lock into its housing and withdrew the key, she took them from me. I asked if I was wearing it the rest of the day. Emma said “yes, and then some more”.

The cage stayed on for a few days after that, and I had no issue at all. It was/is completely secure and comfortable to wear 24/7/365. There is absolutely no way to slip or pull out. I can keep it and my cock clean with normal showers. It is undetectable under regular fitted clothes. It truly is the perfect device, and Emma is well aware of it.

 

Up until this point, I’ve recapped the major events in our journey. From here I hope to share the more current events, but knowing a few more details might make the readings easier to follow.

I’ve always been into bondage. I remember, as a kid, rolling myself up in blankets as tight as I could and loving that feeling of immobility. Playing video games, where a cut scene would show my character tied up in a prison cell would give me this weird, but pleasant head rush and my stomach filled with butterflies. I had no idea why I felt like that, I just knew I liked it and I wanted more.

My wife and I live a d/s lifestyle. She is obviously the dominate, and loves being the boss most of the time. But sometimes she needs me to take charge, and we switch rolls for a few days. She is a strong woman, and most of the time has her shit together. Life throws us curveballs and can throw the best of us off our game. That’s when she needs me to take over and help get her back into the groove, which I am happy to do. When we switch it isn’t for long. Usually just long enough for me to give her a good fucking, call her a dirty little slut and slap her ass until its good and red. Most of the time this does the trick, and its back to normal shortly after. Life is about balance, and living the lifestyle is no different.

I am a very handy man. When it comes to building and fixing things, I can pretty much do it all. I’ve build lots of things in and around our home from raw materials. Play houses, swing sets, book cases, cabinets, garden beds, sex furniture, to name a few. I built our bed, with a custom head and foot board, which has hidden locking doors, when opened expose restraining points. The headboard also has electrical outlets, to easily power all our toys.

We have a walk-in closet which has become sort of a playroom of sorts. It locks from the outside. I installed restraint points in the walls and ceiling for my wife to secure me to. There are cameras in the closet, so she can watch me while I’m tied up. There is a restraint point on the wall, that while I’m kneeling lines up perfectly with my collar ring, forcing me into a perfect posture, especially when my arms are cuffed behind my back. We call this the punishment wall. Emma will chain me up in various positions, with different toys installed. Ball gag, butt plug, shock collar around my balls, nipple clamps, ect. Leaving me for sometimes hours, while she bathes, or reads.

My wife loves to read and has thousands of books. In the basement I’ve built her a library, equipped with anchor points in the ceiling for her to secure me to. While she relaxes on the couch in her library, I’m chained to the ceiling, on full display.

In addition to the cage, I have a collar, which I sleep in most night. When we know the kids are in bed, and we are turning in to the night, I get naked and she puts the collar around my neck. I absolutely love this and look forward to this almost every day. I’m not aloud to put on, or take off the collar myself, and it especially sucks when I’m not able to wear it to bed for whatever reason. I should mention the collar has a name tag dangling from the ring. The tag reads “Sexy Little Bitch”.

I think this pretty much sums up the past. I look forward to recording the present and future. I hope you all enjoyed the story thus far. I welcome any and all feedback and questions.

 

Thanks, I appreciate that. Patients is defiantly the key when it comes to this kind of lifestyle. If you think about it as growing and discovering together, its a lot easier. Much more comfortable and fun too!

 

The Restart

The stresses of our daily lives are inevitable and relentless, and effect everyone from all walks of life. No one is immune to the nagging presence of stressful situations, especially those of us who practice a kinky lifestyle. Wealthy or poor, healthy or sick, young or old. Stress finds a way to find you, but it’s how you deal with it that matters. Do you ignore the issue, hoping it will go away on its own or with time? Maybe you take some half assed attempts to deal with it, saying “oh well, I tried, and that’s good enough”? Or do you challenge yourself and the situation to make a plan to fix it? It probably depends on the severity of the cause of the stress, but how you deal with it will say a lot about the solution.

Over the course of our marriage, while practicing our lifestyle, we’ve hit a few road bumps. Causing the dynamic to pause for a while. Sometimes a day or two, sometimes a week or longer. Eventually we found our way back to pleasure road. The last time we hit a bump though, it felt like we drove off a cliff. Our dynamic came to a full stop, and everything we thought we were working towards went out the window. Neither of us had no desire to continue the lifestyle, and I even resented Emma for a while. Mostly because I could she that she just didn’t care. I thought to myself, well if she doesn’t care, I don’t either. Whenever I could have feelings of uncertainty, I would look down at the locking cuff on my wrist, and it would remind me of why we live the lifestyle, but this time was different. Every time I looked at it, I grew more and more bitter, and wanted nothing more than to take it off.

Don’t get me wrong, Emma and I are not unhappy in our relationship. We have everything we could ever ask for. Family, friends, good jobs with stable income, a beautiful home filled with our rambunctious kids, we love our lives. The power exchange dynamic just adds the cherry on time of our cake. And in order to have our cake, and eat it too, we knew we needed to talk.

Lying in bed together, I said we need to talk. I said that I think we need to start over with the dynamic. I told her that neither of us had any buy in anymore, and that I missed my mistress. She agreed, and that she also missed being in control. We talked about all the stressful things that were happening around us currently, and for the last 4 months. (By the way, one of the reasons why I even started writing out our story, was that I was hoping to rekindle the spark by remembering all the events of our kinky life.) We both agreed that this lifestyle was the only way that both of us can be cloud 9 happy, and that we NEED it in our lives. So, from there we planned to fix it.

First and foremost, the D/s power exchange dynamic had to be the number one priority in our lives. Meaning 100% of the time, we are living (not playing) our roles. We both thought this was going to be the most challenging part of the restart because of our busy worlds, and currently responsibilities, but it’s going very well. We knew that just saying were starting over wasn’t good enough. We seriously started over, as if I just met her on a first date. We assumed nothing from the previous BDSM engagement. All of our titles, preferences, limits, needs and wants were forgotten about. I even surrendered my collars and cuff, which was very hard for the both of us to swallow. After everything we thought we knew about each other and the previous arrangement was Thanos snapped out of existence, we talked, and as we talked, we wrote down everything in a new journal.

We talked about how we want this round to go, and how we were going to make it last a lifetime. It started with a very broad outline of what both of us expect from BDSM. Emma wanted to move slowly this time, and so did I. I think this is where most of the issues came from before. I wanted everything, and I wanted it all at once. The sub frenzy took over, and there was no use trying to stop it. So, this time we agreed everything was going to move nice and slow. That first night in deciding what we wanted, we voiced our needs and wants and talked about how we can meet them for each other. Making sure that each topic got the appropriate discussion time and attention, we only talked about one thing each night. Nothing was going to be rushed. These meetings went on for about a week. We talked about what we like and don’t like, expectations, rules, punishments and rewards, hard limits, and soft limits, consent and safe words. Nothing was left out, and just to make sure, I found a 30 days of D/s writing prompt, that we complete and talk about each night. Honestly, this has had the greatest impact in the restart yet. Each writing prompt is a different question about the lifestyle, and it really makes you think critically, and from both dominate and submissive point of view. We are almost at the end of the 30 days, and I can’t wait for us to be able to recap everything we have learned. We’ve already discovered so many new things about ourselves since we’ve restarted. I’ve had the confidence to come out and ask for things that I would like to try, including what happened in our first real scene.

 

Our “First” Scene

Emma has known that I enjoy being tied up and helpless from a long time. It’s been a part of our sex life since almost the beginning. What she didn’t quite know, is that I enjoy being in uncomfortable positions while I’m being tied up. I’ve learned that this is called predicament bondage. Bondage where the sub is put into a position where they must make a choice as to which part of their body is in pain. This is highly erotic to me, because even though I have a choice, there will be discomfort in either choice I make. Having the newfound courage to open up to her about things I’d like to try, I came up with a scene that catered to both of our needs.

This was the text I sent to her, explaining what I had come up with.

“I’ve been thinking of a scene. You tie me up in an uncomfortable position, perhaps arms above my head where I must tip toe and you can get some nice ass beatings and other painful implements. After you’ve had your fill, you leave the door open and get yourself off on the bed while I’m forced to watch.”

Her response was that of excitement and glee. She couldn’t wait to play it out. We set a date for that Saturday night, when the kids would be away and neither of us had a reason to be up early in the morning.

Part of the restart included Emma learning to use rope as a method of tying me up. We’ve bought books and watched online tutorials on how to tie subs up with various knots and in different positions, but never really got the hang of it. We wanted to try again and started practicing every so often. The night before our first scene, she wanted to practice some ties on me and I eagerly obeyed. I didn’t realize she wanted to do a trial run of the scene though. Before I knew what was happening, my hands were tied in front of my, and she was leading me to the closet. She threaded the rope through the anchor in the ceiling, forcing my hands above my head and me on to the tips of my toes. She tied the end of the rope to another point on the wall, and I was stuck. She took a step back to admire the sight, the left the room. I thought to myself, oh shit, what did I get myself into? She came back minutes later and said, “that’s enough practice for tonight.”

The next day, I couldn’t stop thinking about what was going to happen that night. Neither should she apparently, because that’s all we talked about the next day. We couldn’t wait until the evening when we had the house to ourselves. It was the only thing on our minds. Finally, it was time.

Alone in the bedroom, she ordered me to strip. I obeyed, and I was standing naked in front of her. She motioned for me to fetch the rope from the closet. I take a look at the clock on the wall before I step into the closet. 9:19 P.M. As I opened the floor to ceiling cabinet that lives inside our closet, the wooden paddle knocked against the inside of the cabinet door. In front of lies most of the toys and tools we use for our play. All organized and clean. On the left side, bin of cuffs, plugs, vibrators, clamps and other toys. On the right side hung paddles, floggers, riding crops, canes and chains, handcuffs and a spreader bar. On the shelf sits my chastity cage, ever present and serves as a constant reminder to behave. The cage is much less desirable and is used as a punishment now that Emma has fully embraced the Domme side of her.

The rope for tonight’s play is coiled up in a bin. I grab the rough looking hemp rope, expecting it to be scratchy on my skin, but to my surprise its very soft. I uncoil the rope and hand Emma the working end. My wrists almost instinctively come together in front of me, and I present them to her. One, two, three times around, up through the middle into a square knot. One more tie on top to make sure, and my wrists are in a perfect double column tie. She tugs on her work to see that its secure. I can tell she’s satisfied because she always does this cute little doo da doo humming sound when she’s happy. She’s got me naked, arms tied, and now with pre cum dripping from my cock. She has to step up on a short ladder to reach the hook in the ceiling. Once again, threading the end of the rope though the hook, my arms are forced above my head. I get to my toes before she yanks on the rope.

“Higher.”, she demands I reach up higher, I strain my calves and reach as high as I can.

“How’s that?”, she asked, and I try to relax my feet on the floor, only to realize I cannot.

“Uncomfortable.”, I reply. “Good.” She said as she watches me struggle.

Its starting to sink in for me, that I am truly out of control of this situation, and that this is exactly what I asked for. I am more turned on than ever. My legs are shaking, and my mind is racing. I’m scared and nervous, and yet excited.

Emma reaches into the already opened cabinet and pulls out a black blindfold from the bin. Darkness falls over me as she slipped it over my eyes. Sensory depravation was something that I had asked for, and Emma had no problem giving me. It takes away some of the awkwardness of new situations if I’m not able to see.

I can only hear the sounds of her collecting different toys to use on her helpless victim. (Not victim, in fact, very willing volunteer) She’s taking her time, thinking about what she wants to use and why. Legs still shaking, my mind starts to settle down a bit. The calmness is interrupted by the impact of her first chosen toy, the flogger. Up and down my back I feel the tails of the flogger stinging me.

“Not unpleasant at all, kind of feels good.”, I think to myself. She continues, moving around to my front. My chest, abdomen, cock and balls, legs and calves all take turns experiencing the tiny stings.

She notices me dripping like an old faucet.

“Oh, someone’s excited I see. Are you enjoying this? Well, we can’t have that.”

I hear her reach into the cabinet and rummage around one of the bins. At first I have no idea what she’s grabbing for, until I feel her wrap sometime around my hard shaft and balls. A familiar click gives me a clue as to me exactly what it was. The sharp jolt of electricity confirms my suspicion. The shock collar. One of her favorite toys we own.

Emma has moved onto switching between the wooden paddle, which I carved for her, and the leather riding crop, another one of her favorites. Taking turns swatting my behind with each until there is a pause. I feel a soothing cool substance slide through my ass cheeks, then she tells me to relax. I do as I’m told, as she shoves a butt plug inside of me.

“Hmm, I’ve never beat your ass with a butt plug in.”, she comments, and continues swatting me all over. I feel something hard against my cock. The hard object comes to life, and I realize it’s a vibrator.

“Oh thank God.” I say out loud, basking in the few moments of pleasure. They are cut short though by the shock of not only the collar around my balls, but now the electro-wand. I feel her tease me with this sinister device all over my body, zapping me everywhere. I start to wince and whimper. I can hear her smiling, giggling, taunting me with her power.

“I wonder how it feels to be tied up, beaten, and tormented like this? Oh well, I guess I’ll never know.” Emma teases. With her hands gliding over me she says “I’m in charge, and this is my body. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want to it, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

By this time, I am sore and I’m sweating. My chest hurts, my ass is on fire, and I’m certain there are welts and bruises all over my legs. But I am in absolute heavenly bliss.

She takes about 10 more real good swats with the wooden paddle, then stops. Light floods my eyes again as she removes the blindfold. She glides across the room onto the ottoman, adorned with the softest fur rug you’ll ever feel. I can feel the sensation of softness on my bottom as she sits on the ottoman. Very strange, since my ass its most likely different shades of red and purple now.

“Now its my turn.” She says in the most seductive voice. A vibrator whom has taken the name of junior, in hand, she spreads he legs wide and begins to pleasure herself. It’s impossible for me to look away. Frustrated, I want nothing more than to go to town on that pretty little pussy of her. I feverously but futilely tug on my restraints. They don’t budge. I’m still very much stuck on my tip toes. Calves burning, and shoulders aching, I can’t do anything but watch my beautiful dominating wife pleasure herself, just 10 feet in front of me. She sees this and seizes the opportunity to taunt me some more.

“Oh, you poor thing, do you want to come play?” she teases.

“Yes please, oh god yes please!”, I reply.

This is what she said, that almost sent me into sub space.

“Oh, well, you see, that’s just too bad, because at the moment, junior here is the only thing this pretty little pussy needs. And besides, you’re all tied up in my closet, you cant do anything! What if I just left you there? Oh now see that’s an idea, we might try that.”

Emma is close to coming at this point, so she gets up and walks over to me. Thrusting her pussy into my cock, I feel the vibrations junior is providing. I start to moan with pleasure. Not soon after I do, she pushes herself over the edge and has an earth-shattering orgasm. Not able to keep her balance under her collapsing legs, she grabs onto me with her free hand, pulling on my bonds, making my shoulders even more painful.

We both take a few moments to recover, then a satisfied Emma turns off the closet lights, and retreats to the bed. She pulls the covers back and starts to slide into bed.

Still tied to the ceiling and confused, I ask what she’s doing.

“I’m going to sleep now, I’m very tired.” She said.

“What about me?”, I panicked, “Are you going to let me down?”

“Why would I do that?” She said, “I’ve gotten everything that I need. You’re always telling me that I’m aloud to be selfish, and not to be afraid of being a bitch to you. Now I need you to be quiet and let me sleep. Don’t make me put a ball gag in your mouth and close the closet door, you know how warm it gets in there.”

I was absolutely floored. I have never seen this side of Emma before. Her voice and the look she gave me told me she was very serious. I wanted to protest, I wanted to yell at her. I wanted to say that this was not fair, and to let me out. But I didn’t do any of that. Instead, I submitted and did what I was told. That was probably the biggest cup of pride I’ve ever had to swallow. It burned a fire in my chest.

“Yes Kitten.”, was the only thing I said after that.

“Good boy”, she said as she turned off her bed side table lamp snuggled into the duvet.

Darkness again, but not from the blindfold this time. What do I do? I asked myself. It seemed like this was where I am to spend the night. Wrist tied together, hoisted up above my head, feet barely able to touch the ground. The bruises and marks left all over my body start to sting through my skin. Then I remembered the butt plug, that’s still in. The fucking butt plug is still in.

Minutes pass and I look out into the bedroom. My eyes have adjusted to the darkness a bit now. Emma lays on her side of the bed motionless. My arms and shoulders hurt. Strangely my calves aren’t in pain anymore. Maybe they hurt before because she was beating on them with a riding crop.

My theory as to how much time has passed, might as well be the equivalent to my knowledge of brain surgery. At this point I have no idea how much time has passed. Somewhere between 30 minutes and an hour. Do I try to sleep? Another question I ask myself. The inner struggle I’m having is almost too much to handle. Emma has surly fallen asleep now. If I yell out and wake her, I’m positive there will be a punishment, but then again, would it be worse than this?

Then I realize, everything is calm. Before, during the scene, my world was spinning, there was pain, pleasure, all different types of emotion. Now, there’s nothing. Aside from the fan’s white noise, absolute quiet. Nothing but my thoughts. I figure, if I’m not going to wake her, I should try to embrace the situation. I take a deep breath and close my eyes.

Stillness is just as blissful as the chaos earlier.

My meditation session ended when Emma turned on her lamp. Without a word she got out of bed and stumbled into the master bath. I was preparing what I was going to say to her when she was finished in the bathroom. She rounded the corner into the closet, but before I could even say one word, she shushed me, and put a finger over my mouth. She walked to the back of the closet where the rope was secured and untied it. I let out a grateful groan and my arms dropped to the floor. I was finally able to rest my feet flat on the ground. I looked around at the floor and noticed all the toys she had used on me.

Rope still dangling from the ceiling, Emma turns to me and says, “You’ll clean all this up tomorrow morning before I get up.” I didn’t reply.

She grabbed me by my still dripping cock and led me to bed. I look at the clock on the wall again. 3:29 A.M.

 

Offences punishable by cage

Lately I’ve found myself thinking about the cold steel cage that sits in our play closet. Thinking about how I once found it highly desirable and erotic. How I loved wearing it and giving up the key and control to my wife, hoping she would take both, and use the power to tease and torment me until I “begged” for mercy. However now, the desire to wear the cage as diminished greatly, to the point where I have no interest in it. It used to be a driving factor in our relationship and lifestyle, now it is used as a tool for means of punishment.

I have a theory as to why this has happened.

During the early days of our lifestyle, when the participation ratio was more 70/30, (Me, having 70% stake in the kinky company, and her 30%) I craved her attention by any way I could get it. Even if the attention was passive. I think by wearing the cage, and her controlling the key, it was a way for her to passively participate in this activity, thus giving me the attention I needed. I was able to have some fun by way of orgasm denial and teasing, and I was also happy knowing that she held all the power. She got off on the power trip, and that was enough for me.

The present-day participation ratio is a much more balanced 50/50. We both recognize that this lifestyle is something that we not only want, but we need it. It has become an integral part of our lives, and neither of us could imagine living any other way. I believe this is one of the reasons, if not that only reason why I do not crave the cage anymore. Because Emma has fully embraced the lifestyle, and wants it equally as bad as I do, the amount of attention given to me is fulfilling my needs. Both of our efforts to make this dynamic a priority provide us both with what we need. I no longer chase the faux attention that the cage gave me, because I’m getting the real thing every moment of every day.

We are "celebrating" Loctober. She is absolutely loving it. Myself not so much. She sent a text the other day saying "love having my key back". Referring to the cage key she wears on a necklace. I was defiantly cranky the first few days of the month. She told me to get into a better mood. I guess its getting a little easier everyday. Don't get me wrong, I'm no stranger to wearing the cage for long periods of time, its just very different now that were serious about our lifestyle.

 

The little things

The devil is in the details. Or should I say, the devil pays attention to the details. And my devil is getting deviously good at them. It’s the little things that can turn an okay thing, into an amazing experience. They don’t even need to be complicated or difficult. Holding out an empty dinner plate to signal for me to take it away or clinking an empty glass to say she needs a refill. Commands are becoming more natural, or even passive in conversation. “Tomorrow, you will do x, y and z” or “Bring me the lotion from the bathroom upstairs”. Her confidence is so damn sexy to me. I see that it brings out the best in her, and I think she is starting to see it too.

 

Quickie but without the orgasm

“Are we showering together this morning?” I wonder. “No” She replies, “You shower now, I’ll have a bath later, and you’ll spend some time in the closet.’ My brain does a little happy dance and fills with endorphins. My cock also swells a bit in its cage. I’m not good with outward emotions, so I don’t show excitement all the time. This is something I need to work on, so she knows when I’m excited about something.

Later comes, and I draw her a bath. “Which bath soap would you like?” I ask. “Orange” she replies, my favorite. The smell ligers throughout the entire bedroom and into the closet. Its scent triggers something, and it brings me calmness. It smells the same as her lotion which also does something to me.

“How do you want me?” Without hesitating she says, “Naked in the closet, now please.” As I disrobe, I ask her if this is going to be a long bath or a short one. “Eh, not super long, but not short.” A vague answer.

“I’m asking because if its going to be a long bath, I would ask for a comfortable position, if it’s a short one, I would ask for an uncomfortable one.” I explain.

I end up on knees, face and body on the punishment wall. She hooks a padlock through my collar and attaches it to the anchor on the wall in front of me. My nose is pressed against the wall. I feel my hot breath reflecting off the wall with every exhale. Putting my arms behind my back, she padlocks those together too.

On my knees, collar locked to the wall, arms behind my back, I’m effectively immobilized. She slips the blindfold over my eyes for the final step.

Thwack! Emma surprises me with a few good swats with the paddle. This caught me off guard and it quickly became too much for me to handle. She must have realized this too when she saw my hands move down over my now pink ass.

“That’s enough for now.” She said as she exits the closet. This position is called the punishment wall because my tolerance for it and comfort level quickly diminishes. My hot breath gets reflected into my face, my knees start to take as they press into the coarse carpet, my shoulders ache due to the perfect posture that my torso is forced into. I can shift my knees around a bit to find temporary relief, but it doesn’t last long.

I hear Emma just on the other side of the wall flipping pages in her book and the water from her bath gently sloshes against the tub. She is relaxed, and completely comfortable. I am, the exact opposite. It’s incredibly erotic knowing that in that moment, she hasn’t got a worry in the world, including one about me.

It must have been about an hour when I hear the drain on the tub open. She’s almost done. A little while later the door opens. “You okay?” She asks. “Yeah, I’m good.” I answer. She unlocks the collar lock first and I’m able to kneel onto my calves. My wrists are freed next, and I remain kneeling on my calves to just relax for a few minutes. After a bit, I join my wife in bed.

 

My sexy wife is loving Locktober. Lately she hasn't missed the opportunity to tease me about my situation. She'll bring it up in casual conversation, or especially during sexy play time. She's gotten so comfortable with the term 'Locktober', she's almost accidently let it slip to her coworkers.

Last night, were both reading in bed. As required I'm naked except for my collar and cage. She with only panties on. She looks over to me and tells me to get the slippery stuff and the wand. She wants an orgasm. I do so and start to get to work. She takes the wand from me and tells me I'm only allowed to watch. I snuggle into her breasts and keep my hands to myself.

After a few minutes of the buzzy goodness she starts to moan. She whispers to me that her nipples need some attention. I start to rub and gently tug at them. "Harder" she says. I pinch harder and she moans louder. Not shortly after this she cums hard.

"Too bad its locktober, I really would have loved to have your cock inside me". I ask if I could have some attention with the wand. She reaches over and presses the head of the wand against my cage. The pleasure is instant, and it isn't long before I feel an orgasm brewing. I take a breath and focus on holding it back. Emma hasn't told me I could cum. I ask for permission and to my surprise, she says yes!

Hell yeah, I think to myself, but apparently my body doesn't want me to have one. I've willed the desire for an orgasm away, and instead I feel guilty. Now I'm incredibly frustrated because a few minutes ago I was so close to erupting, now that I've been given the permission, I cant get there. I tell her I feel guilty and need some help getting there.

"Pain?" She said, then bites into my shoulder. She rakes her nails across my chest, then finally taking another bite on my nipple. Its as if she knows exactly which buttons to press to push me over the edge, because I come in the cage almost immediately. "Good boy."

 

Were almost through the month of October, and I cant wait for November. Even though the cage has been locked on almost 100% of the time, our sexual activities have not slowed down.

A few days ago, I was explaining to Emma that after being denied for a decently long time, if I'm allowed to have an orgasm, I experience some kind of drop. The drop can range in intensity from mild to down right depressing, and can sometimes last for days. The mile drops aren't so bad, and I usually get back into the subby headspace quickly. When they are bad though, I have little to no interest in the dynamic we have built. In fact, I have little interest in participating in most things.

She asked me how can she can help to prevent, or lessen the effects of it. I was reluctant in telling her the truth, because as we all know, the things we enjoy doing during the heat of the moment, we cant stand after an orgasm. I ended up telling her, because I know this relationship is what we both need, and in order for it to thrive, we have to be honest.

1. Cleaning up the mess (cum) from where its deposited.
2. Immediately locking up in the cage after an orgasm.
3. Pain implements that I usually find pleasurable.
4. Increasing her overall "bitchyness".
5. Increasing her demands. (I love doing things for my wife, but after an orgasm, I don't have much motivation)

I guess she was anxious to try out her new found power, because she unlocked me to shower with her. After the shower we had sex, where she let me cum inside her. After I came, and caught my breath, she asked if I was good. I replied yes, then she grabbed my hair and forced my head down to her pussy and told me to lick it clean.

I fucking hated it, I will never fully understand why my brain thinks its so god damned hot to eat out her cum filled pussy before I orgasm, but after I find it repulsing.

Obviously she loved it. I licked her to another orgasm, sat up and wiped my chin. Not even 10 seconds later she's fetched the cage from the ultrasonic cleaner, and is securing it back on. She was NOT gentle either. Normally when she puts it on me, she's real nice about it. Not this time....

I thought that was the end of it, and I was wrong. Next thing I know, she hands me the ball zapper, (converted dog shock collar) and tells me up put it around my balls. I do, and she "tests" that its working. From my reaction she sees that it is...

I wore that fucking ball zapper for the rest of the day, with her holding the remote. Fun for her, not for me.

I can say that I didn't experience a hard drop, so I guess her treatment worked.

 

Holy wow its been a minute since I've posted.


Not much has changed, and yet it feels like everything has changed. My sexy wife and I still practice the lifestyle 24/7. She has truly embraced the power exchange. We communicate our needs and wants much more often, and make sure we give each other everything we both need. Because of this, our relationship has never been stronger, and our lifestyle has never been more fulfilling.

Currently, I am not caged. It’s been long standing rule that I am not allowed to bring myself to orgasm without her permission. A rule I have followed, at this point not only because it’s a rule she put in place, but more so a rule that I actually enjoy. I think of the orgasm as the end of the road, and the foreplay is the journey, and if the journey lasts all day every day, why the hell would I want to get to the end of the road.

Recently (some months ago) we introduced the forced orgasm, both with and without post orgasm torture, and the ruined orgasm. We have also been dipping our toes into some humiliation play. We even went to a local dungeon, where there was a class being taught on humiliation and degradation play. My wife loves to practice how quickly she can make me cum, then proceeds to torment me with post orgasm torture. All the while mocking me and my ability to cum so quickly.

We had a full ottoman storage chest in our bedroom that we used to store extra blankets and pillows. MY wife LOVES blankets and pillows. We have a blanket draped on every couch, chair, with extras folded up in the chest. The blanket per person in this house is wildly unbalanced and I was having difficulty finding new places to store them when not in use. With the current storage chest overfull, I decided to build a larger one.

This project truly started out 100% non kinky, until I told my wife I had planned to build a bigger chest to put all the extra blankets, and I was going to line it in cedar. Her response was "make sure it’s big enough for you to sleep in."

"I'm sorry, what now?" I said, as my heart started racing.

"I'm not sure how I could be any clearer? You know I like putting things in cages" She clarified.

Break out the building materials: 2x3's, plywood, fasteners, hinges, fabric and batting to line the outside of the cage/chest.

It took about a week to construct. I can post pictures of people who are interested. It sits at the foot of our bed, and is large enough for me to lay down comfortably. It is now my weekend sleeping quarters. At first glance, and even with closer inspection, it looks like a large storage chest. The outside removable panels are lined in a soft fabric. The lid opens and closes and can be locked with an innocent looking latch. The front and side panels can be easily removed. They are held in place with strong magnets. Once removed, the cage presents itself with jail cell like bars constricted from re-bar cut to 18" and painted a classy oil rubbed bronze. The main point of entry and exit is the on the side, where a door can swing open, and be locked shut using the same style latch as the lid. The back wall inside the chest/cage is lined with cedar and smells heavenly.

Almost every weekend since I built it, I have spent the night in the cage. It is truly a love/hate relationship. I love the feeling of being confined, and with the panels on, its extreme sensory deprivation. Pitch black, and very quiet. I love the fact that my wife sprawls out on the bed and reads for hours. I also love that when she’s done reading, she'll get herself off (very loudly so I can hear), roll over and drift off to sleep. She often points out that she sleeps very well knowing I’m locked in a cage.

The cage can be incredibly boring sometimes though. Especially since I always wake up way before her, and there is nothing I can do except wait for her to wake and let me out. Having to pee is also another annoyance. I always make sure to empty my bladder before crawling in, but it’s inevitable that in the morning, I will have to hold it uncomfortable until she’s ready to wake. When she does wake, she never lets me out right away. Sometimes she'll lay in bed for a little scrolling. Sometimes she'll get down on the floor in front of the cage door and taunt me. "Does my little bitch have to pee". Once she ignored me completely. She got up, took a shower, got dressed in the bathroom so I couldn’t even watch, went down stairs and took her time making coffee. Finally coming back about an hour later to unlock the front door. Without fail, when I crawl out, she'll always say "all of my bitches crawl out of cages."

We truly love where we are, and wouldn’t give it back for anything.

 

We have indeed done similar things to this. Our favorite thing is some combination of tying me up, and her doing whatever pleases her. It's very often that I will be tied up some how, somewhere, and she will take a long bath. Or if she doesnt want to restrain me, she'll have me kneel next to the tub while she bathes. This is nice because I usally get to help bathe her, and I'l always available to fetch things while she reads in the tub.