Deep breath. And... relax. Here goes

Well, Sal, you have a gift of describing ideas and situations in such a way that leaves everyone desperate to hear the next interaction (as I have read). Your posts were like a great TV series - always ending on the edge (pun intended) for the next post,

I am intrigued by your sexual adventure - something I don't think my partner has. Instead of wanting to do something for hours, she wants it quick (as well as other examples of the differences - not that she is not a lovely woman in so many ways). So, in many ways, you are the opposite. A dream for most guys!! I'm jealous of YourPete...

 

Just remember he’s yours. You can have him whenever you want then lock him back up. Another great job and from reading what you wrote it sounds like you milked him. Which basically means that you massaged the inside and drained him without him getting any relief. Your definitely learning and getting things right. Enjoy

 

Why did you not ask him to please you - either before or after? I'm sure he would have been happy...

 

Sometimes...many on this site seem to believe there is some sort of exact formula for how to act. That this formula for chastity and control (obedience, worship, etc.) are fixed and there should be no deviation - all circumstances have an exact response. Well, here you are frustrated when it is all supposed to be about your pleasure. I am not sure what I am trying to say exactly except that you and Pete have to make that decision given the circumstances. But, leaving you frustrated is not what I believe your guy would want.

 

I know under the same circumstances I would expect to be used to pleasure my KH in any way she wanted. Certainly orally would be best. Perhaps even leaving it a few hours before demandiing it just after he hasd relaxed back into the daytime routine.
It would drive me nuts with desire.

 

I'm very glad my post inspired you Sal. Yes, I'm bad I suppose, but then life is too short to be good all the time! One thing I learned from the woman I mentioned was to take the time to enjoy the journey and not be always focused on the future. Sometimes you just have to indulge in a moment of enjoyment for yourself.
I like what you did to Pete, it was sending a message that sometimes he is there to be used by you for your pleasure, even if you didn't get any immediate gratification in the process this time. In my experience I felt used but in a good way, and I was so glad that she took advantage of me for her own enjoyment (and mine!). I was totally surprised by what she did, but as soon as she walked in I knew what she wanted and was very happy to oblige.
I definitely think uncertainty adds some spice to the situation. It makes you wonder what is going to happen or if anything will happen. Being predictable all the time is boring.
I like that Pete felt drained. He could well have released some seminal fluid if you were stimulating his prostate, without having a full orgasm. From what I have read (not having experienced it myself), I understand this can add to the frustration of being denied an orgasm as you are "emptied" without feeling the high of an orgasm. Some men are frequently "milked" by their partner to take away the fluid with no real enjoyment. If you achieved this by penetrating Pete then maybe you could do this on a regular basis to keep him more frustrated, at least when he has to pay for Consequences. Having him pleasure you during this time would give you what you need and at the same time send Pete a message that he is under your control.

 

I think routine penetration is an excellent way to keep him humble and remind him you are in control but also that you love him a lot.

In fact, while you are pegging him, telling him you are doing this because you love him is a great mind fuck and also romantic.

 

When you are discussing how things are going have him kneeling on the floor naked while you remain clothed. That way you are letting him share his feelings while maintaining your dominate position . Also useful when discussing when his performance disappoints you. His body will give you clues to his reactions.
Stop overthinking . You are doing a great job and it sounds like he is happy with the way things are going. Loved how you had him assume the position before pegging him. Having him wait in anticipation can be very exciting and at the same time a little scary.

 

As others have mentioned, domming can, of course, be solely about *your* pleasure, if you wish it so.

My wife, who is not very dominant, has a pretty regular bedtime routine: she stops reading, goes to the bathroom for her final sleep preparations, returns and commands me to read to her (for the past couple of years I read erotic novels to her before sleep) and then to go around to her side, kneel on the floor, and give her one or more Os orally.

But now and then, she comes out of the bathroom, points for me to lie flat on my back, and she climbs on my face for me to pleasure her. When she's done, she rolls over to go to sleep while I lie there frustrated as all get out. Both routines are about her pleasure (she has no problem denying me), but the latter is much more domme and really drives the point home.

 

Could you masturbate after that?

 

Nope. I'm caged 24/7 ... I only get released once very 6-12 weeks usually. And *never* when she's being so dominant (which, alack, isn't often enough

 

In my opinion you have to take this period of experimenting with domination for what it is: you lead and you command.

You are thinking too much about chastity, how to behave, what Pete thinks.
Instead, you should think more about what you want.

Do you want to orgasm through traditional intercourse? Fine, do it as many times as you want.
And Pete will have to learn to be driven even if he gets an orgasm, he will have to handle the ensuing drop and stay by your side.

In my opinion this is what these weeks are all about.

Translated with DeepL.com (free version)

 

You could have him kneel naked in front of you to massage and kiss your feet and legs. Let him know how good it feels and how much you appreciate it.

 

That's an interesting dynamic.
It's made me realise that before chastity I had very little realisation of the hormonal changes and the effects of them that happened after a male orgasm.
After years of orgasm denial, you understand and become much more physically aware of the changes that happen after even just one orgasm, so much so that you get to the stages first where you can't decide whether an orgasm is worth it or not, and then once you've experienced that contradiction a few times, you get to the point where you sometimes dread having a full orgasm because the longer term downer just isn't worth the momentary bliss.

(and the masochists amongst us are completely confused as to whether having an orgasm is now a good thing or a bad thing! )

 

I've been away from the site for a while and I've missed reading your updates. Seeing the progress you've made over the last few weeks is quite exhilarating for me though, so I can't imagine what it's been like for you.

The fact that you're developing these aspects of your relationship organically and at a pace which seems to fit both you and Pete is wonderful to see. By not rushing or forcing anything too much, you're growing into the role of domme very naturally. I hope your experiment as Sal: MegaDomme continues and that you and Pete continue to flourish as it does.

 

Sal,

I came on this site recently and just read all 78 pages of your story (plus your Principles which I commented positively wishing my wife would agree to many of them) and most of the comments. I am going to say something that might make you and others here angry at me. I do not mean any disrespect. In fact, I admire the absolute faith and clarity in this female dominated, male chastity world. In many respects, it is attractive to me - hence the reason I am here. However, I am no example of a good husband or man as I am dealing with my own issues and looking for a chastity cage for myself to help. Still, taking a step back to think a moment, my concerns are:

1. Why are you listening to Laura? Yes, she was a professional dominatrix - it does not sound as if she had a full time partner in the submissive role though. If she did, what happened. Therefore, all of her experience is within the confines of a session. How long were those sessions? 1, 2, 3 or more hours? No matter, it is not a partner, lover, boyfriend, husband, etc. You treat someone who is your partner differently than a customer. Obviously, she is having a difficult time with her partner who is not fulfilling her. And what is the result? She cheats on you with Pete! Maybe her advice is perfect for a professional dominatrix. But, was it really the best advice? Did her advice cause Pete to cheat (not taking him off the hook, though)?
2. Maybe the long denials of Pete are too many and too long. I know that many on the site are into the denial (and the pleasure that it can give) and in turn pleasing their woman. I admire that completely. But it sounds as if the time frame is too long and having the opposite effect. A good example is his situation of trying to tease and deny you. Or, his coming on you. Or, his jerking off next to you. Or, his cheating (again, not giving him a pass on this). Yes, there are some definite benefits of him being locked up and not masturbating and holding out for you. However, maybe the time frame is only a few days (I don't know if that is the right timeframe but just an idea). With teasing along the way, he will still be desperate for you but maybe he will be able to last having vaginal sex the first time and please you!
3. Which brings me to the next point - pleasing you! You mentioned many times that you end up not being pleased as it seems as if you are so focused on properly teasing, controlling, punishing, and whatever is the right thing to do based on advice of others and your thoughts/desires of controlling him that you forget to have pleasure yourself.
4. Humiliation can be a double edge sword. Obviously, this has backfired at times. I am not a fan of it - to understand the point of view I am coming from. The question is, does this humiliation turn into degradation. I don't see any place for that in any relationship.
5. Maybe a bit more empathy...
6. This does not mean you cannot be strict or a little tough on him. It's a balancing scale.

I am afraid to send this out for fear to offend you or others. I truly do not mean that. Who am I to judge? I am no one of importance to you and feel free to reject all. These are simply my thoughts of how I would feel if I were Pete. I know some think Pete is trying to manipulate you. Yes, that may be true. Is the opposite happening, too? Is that fair? Maybe that is what he wants. But, is there a line?

I wish nothing but happiness for all. Just thought I would throw out some thoughts to ponder...