The real feeling of Chastity

M
It's been six days since your last reply. You've had a few suggested alternatives. Have you been busy, reflecting, discussing with your wife, or just enjoying your freedom. I have to believe that if you showed your wife the RWDDH contract option that she'd snatch it up in a heart beat.
SFD
 
Thanks for everyones words of advice..we actually have not moved very far this week on our discussion. Life is taken over this week, I guess. We had some more issues with her father, but he seems to be settled down again. We were going to fly out there but no need.
Anyway, Stroppy; You said "towards the end you were being pushed past your limits and that was possibly some of the trouble," I'm not sure I agree with the statement that she pushed me past my limits. I don't think I really had any limits defined with her, except what was in the original contract; And your right, now that I've been through this, I think it is very important to define what those limits are.

A contract on the other hand isn't going to work. I think we need to just document then and agree to them; not put them in a legal document. That way there can be no ambiguity but also our last try with a firm legal type document didn't work out so well for me.

And SFD..You've put a lot of information out there, all along the financial front. The truth is, over these past 6 or so months, she was controlling all the finances, and I had no CC's or cash on hand. Hell..She even picked out the clothes I wore..I 'owned' nothing! The only thing out there left to do is give her power of attny, which I can just as easily take back, so there really isn't anything there that can be hung over me. The house is already in her name, only my car is really mine, and thats not worth very much ;-( And as you pointed out, when you directed your funds to her account, its just as easy to re-direct them back into your account. The action is reversible. The same thing with me, as I went the route of cash; But when I wanted, I could just keep the money for myself. So the financial angle isn't going to work.

I think exposure to friends is the key here. Its not something I'd want, but its not something that would kill me. I'd be embraised, and kidded about it for a long time, and it would sure make me think twice or three times about getting out, but if I really did decide to get out, and my friends found out about me and my wife's kink, I'd live through it. Here we have to define limits, as I would not want my family to find out..that would be too embarising.

Another area I was thinking about was a week with Ms. Suz...If I threatened to get out, then somehow I'd ahve to do a week at mS. Suz before I could get out. This would be something that is very scary for me. But the trouble is it would be very hard to enforce. I could just cut the device off, and not do the week.

Anyway..these are where my heads been at..Still havn't really spoken to her about it, though we are going to have some time tonight, and tomorrow to play.

Have a great weekened..

M
 
Sorry if it came across incorrectly i meant past the limits already set, having read of your exploits i have no doubt that your ability to reach much higher limits is plain to see assuming they have been agreed to beforehand. I think you are both very sensible in not rushing back into things without thoroughly discussing all eventualities.
 
Hi Mobico.
Yes, life does have a way of challenging the escapism chastity affords us. I do not remember reading of issues with your wife's father. Glad to hear whatever the problem was is under control.
I hope you did not take me as a smartass with my opinion I voiced for I meant no malice. I find your journey incredibly intriguing. I mean what I say about "crossing the Rubicon" though. I have had experience with that, only for me it was something given to me then withdrawn due to her discomfort with what she had approved and gone along with. Damn, it is REALLY hard to put a genie back in its bottle, but as the sexually submissive one in our relationship (with or without chastity), it goes without saying that all I can do is accept such sudden turnarounds whether I think it is fair or not. On several occasions I have cried BS and have been met with sigificant anger from her. Experience has taught me that the dominant party DOES NOT like to be denied having things their way. You did this with your wife by full rebellion to get out. For what its worth though, you guys have gone DEEP into the lifestyle. For her, as the dominant, the only way I see her being happy is to rewind to the pre-Theresa levels of control and for you to accept whatever safety net she needs to keep you locked in at whatever cost. You might be at impasse and need to make this break indefinite with the hope that SIGNIFICANT time will clear both of your heads or YOU need to crumble to her if you NEED chastity now and accept whatever comes your way--a very daunting choice given how deep into the abyss of the lifestyle you were headed. Man, in many ways it seems SOOOO exciting, but at the end of the day, I think it would be too much for me! I look forward to seeing how things go for you and no matter what I hope you get what you want and most of all are prepared for what may come with it! :>)
One last thing--I ask again...any opinions on the Loris device vs the cb6ks?
Take care.
allaboutHer
 
Hey Stroppy..No worries..I didn't take it the wrong way, just wanted to clear that up.

Hi Allabout her. Thanks for the comments; There is no comparison between the Lori devices and the cb series, let alone any other mass produced out there. The lori device was custom made, and through many many turnarounds with Lori, finally escape proof. The CB split with me..And I could easily pull out, and no problem if I wanted to get out..just cut the lock.

m
 
M
I've reflected some more. The way to win a woman's heart is to sacrifice for her. Your wife wants you to get pierced. You want to obey her in subordinate service. So why don't you just do what she wants and get pierced?
SFD
 
Hi SFD&M.
I concur with your summation. I would much sooner submit to a piercing than all of the legal/property/contractural ideas being bandied about. I am no where near as far into the abyss of chastity as many here but if my Wife/Mistress gave the order or OK I would get pierced immediately. Such an EROTIC, SEXY and submissive way to show just how much you adore the person asking this of you, especially if the ring used is the "locking type" only removable with a special tool so that it keeps your device on...also a nice way to keep you "marked" even if she lets you out for a little while! You KNOW eventually someone else, probably a medical professional or a security checkpoint worker will find out about it, so it definitely will be your Keyholder's "mark of ownership", so to speak. For that matter, a tattoo in your genital region reading " Property of...." or "Pierced for..." would be a nice touch as well.

allaboutHer
 
Hi There,
Things are Great! We've spent the weekend really connecting.

We agreed on exposure / embarrassment as the penality for if I hack my way out of the chastity device. Images that we've shot, along with any future ones, will be sent to two of my friends. Though this wouldn't really do much, I'd never live it down from these guys. My wife wanted to send it to my sister as well, but I nixed that. Enough that my buddies see images of me tied and chastized. We then spent the better half of last night going through the images on the computer that she's taken over the year. Most of them have me masked, but there are a few, on my knees and locked to the ground, along with hooked on the wall that I wouldn't want my friends to see. We also agreed that this is only if I cut it off, or get out of it in some way like steal the key. If she slips up, and I get out, then thats on her.

What is really cool is that we can now talk so openly about sex and fantasies ;-) We really connected, laughed, etc..and had a lot of fun going over the images. She keps saying she can't wait until I'm back in to serve her. "She's got plans for me :-)))"

We also discussed other limits, including other people. She doesn't want hard fast rules around other people, especially at Ms. Suz parties, but I specifically told her there was no way I was doing, or getting done by some other guy. She promised that she would never demand that I do that, and I told her even if she did demand, it wouldn't happen.

Another thing I let out to her was my interest in rope bondage and CBT. She didn't know the expression, but I explained it as tie me and my penis up, and have at it. I don't think she's completely into that, but she's willnig to do try it.

Other than that, we have also agreed that I go back in on Aug 31st, but we are going to make the slave / mistress role official at Ms. Suz's party on the 8th. Typically its on the first Sat, but with Labor day that weekend, she's pushed it out a week.

Both her and I are excited about being back in the roles.

M

Oh..and no..I don't want to get pierced.
 
Hi Mobi i am so pleased for you that you have worked out the finer details and are committing to being locked back up soon. I think you handled it exactly right for you both and i agree with the way you plan to make things work for you both. The pictures to mates will be enough to make you think more than twice about removing the device and not involving your sister is really sensible as it could cause so much heartache. Love the idea that you took time to look through old photos of the time spent locked together as it gives you both a chance to discuss just what worked and what didnt from an observers point of view as well. Hope all goes well for you and i think the decision not to be pierced unless you also want to be pierced is the right one for now that way if you ever did get it done it would be consensual and a decision you came to together. Good luck mate look forward to reading all your exploits again soon.
 
mobico69 said:
Other than that, we have also agreed that I go back in on Aug 31st,
Click to expand...

Glad to hear you got things worked out, hopefully to your mutual satisfaction. Do you think your wife will start off gently and build back up to where you were, or will she pick up where you left off? (BTW... Did you keep your basement cell intact?)
 
Mobico
I would also like to offer congratulations to you and your wife sorting your future out so well.
Rita
 
M
Have you ever discussed using a safeword?
Here's a story I'm reading on cuckoldplace

“Now the subject of the safe words. I guess I owe you some rationale for the limited number of safe words. I want you to really think first before using one. I don’t want you to just use one because you’re horny and think you can’t stand it any longer. I want you save them for a truly uncomfortable situation – I don’t rightly know an example of hand. Look, if your cock hurts because of some abrasion or similar kind of thing, you just have to tell me. No safe word required. I don’t want to hurt you. We already established that we need to put in additional spacer rings to make it bit more comfy for you. I do want you to know that you’re restricted when you get hard but not to the point where it really hurts. That is not my intention.”

“How about this – If you have an issue that really bothers you but maybe not quite enough to call the safe word, you could ask for a ‘time out’. Be prepared to say what bothers you with 20 words or less. I will have the choice to let you have that ‘time our’ right then and there or some time later in the day, but within 24 hours from the time you asked for it. That way I still have the control of when to hear your issues. If those 20 words convince me that it is a serious problem, I will address it. If not, you’ll just have to live with it or use the safe word.”

“With that arrangement you have a chance to express your concerns or needs without risking using the safe word. If it is serious, I’ll make adjustments. If I don’t think so, I’ll tell you honestly why I think you’re overreacting. You will have a chance to rethink your problem and if you feel so strongly about it then it must be worth using the safe word.”

“Again, I have to emphasize that you’ll need to trust me that I won’t let any harm come to you, be it physical or mental, not beyond what I think your submissive alter ego can handle. Like Friday night, you managed not to freak out and I got us out of there before it could escalate into some serious problem like a fight with one or all three guys.”

From their contract,
4) Terry will have four different safe words – one each per month of chastity to be used if the events are proving to be too stressful, giving both parties a chance to discuss the issue that caused the use of the safe word and find a way of resolving the problem.

The fourth one is for one reason only, to permanently stop the experiment. Use of it will cause most likely a substantial rift in the marriage and should be avoided at all times.

4a) In addition to the above safe words Terry has the option to call a “time out” where he will express his concerns in twenty five (25) words or less to GODDESS.

GODDESS has 24 hours to consider his request for change/modification, etc. of the agreement. It is HER option to agree to them or deny them. GODDESS promises to give his request due and serious consideration and not reject it out of hand just to force Terry to use a safe word.

In case of a rejection, should Terry feel strongly about the issue, he will have to resort to using one of the safe words.
 
Hi SFD...We have several safewords, depending on the situation, though I like the idea of only being able to use one a month. I'm pretty sure the 'end it now' safeword will not be accepted, unless I want to be teased by my friends for the next decade. The primary one is being gagged or hooded, if I have trouble breathing, etc. I've never been in a CBT situation before, but now that I've made my wishes known, we'll have one for that too. When I was punished with the cane, it was too fast for use of a safeword. Otherwise, if I have sores, she'll address them.

Meanwhile, the days are flying by, and it feels like the end of the month is right around the corner. The excitement is in the air; its like going on a vacation, waiting for it to get here..I keep picturing myself back in the slave role, and am looking forward to it. My wife is too. I've been trying to find out what she has planned, as she's been creating wav files, but she does'nt tell me. Just ambiguas answers to any of my questions, like 'maybe, perhaps, it isn't decided yet. Its like she is one of those 8ball things!!! She's enjoying my squirming for info, I can tell that.

Yes..1 year fully dedicated - 4 weeks off of service, but locked in chastity the entire time.
M
 
M
Thanks for clarifying. Is the 4 weeks out of service going to be taken as one day every two weeks, or is it a 4-week vacation at the end of the one year term?

I didn't sense that she gave you a firm commitment about forced gay sex or her having sex with others.
SFD
 
The 4 weeks are going to be planned vacations; like any vacation from a job. and it must be approved by her. As for forced sex with others, yes. she isn't gonig to demand that I have sex with others. In other words, she can say it all she wants, but Its not going to happen, and I don't get punished if I say no.

Days flying by; tick tock tick tock..;-) I'm almost ready to just go in, and start, but I'm still enjoying the sex with her, and masterbation!

:-)

Excited..

M
 
So, I'm back in my device...for 24 hours..Testing the device, and making sure it 'still fits'. Though I get to keep the key incase anything goes wrong.

M
 
Oh goodness! I'm finally back up to speed since about May when i stopped logging in due to 'life' situations. After all you and your Wife have been though, I wish you both the best as you continue exploring this journey of a 'Wife Led Marriage'!

While I've not worn my cage in quite some time, I know there is no way I could fit in mine at the moment...lol! I will continue to lurk and follow your progress though your loving devotion to your Wife under this mutually agreed chastity arrangement. I think it strange that CBT is all of a sudden a part of your 'want and desire' especially knowing the power your Wife processes during those 'teasing' sessions. I have to admit that years or even not so many months ago, I would never have considered submitting to such a punishment. Funny how our mind evolves though fantasy and conditioning. All I can say about that is the often used phrase, 'Careful what you wish for!'.

While your Wife wishes to control your mind and get into your head so to speak, now besides tease and denial, she will be yielding the oh so powerful weapon of pain in her arsenal. Maybe not absolute power, but very close. Safewords are a definite 'must have' here in regards to CBT....just don't run out.

Knowing there will be ups and downs in the days and months ahead, I sincerely wish you all the best, and feel you are well prepared to enjoy all the 'excitement' that enforced chastity will offer in such a harmonious and loving relationship!
 
Hi SFD: The renewal clause will be discussed as we enter into next summer. And SissyStephanie, thanks for your comments..Pain is already in her arsenal, and she's used it many times on me for correction, more than I've written about. I'm not sure if she gets off on it or not, but she's told me her perspective is that pain is short lived, I'm strong and I won't break. On the other hand, this was for punishement on my ass, not sexual pleasure; which CBT will be from my perspective. Safewords are a must.

But being back in the device is giving me a quick wakeup call about servitude under her. I had to take the device off in the middle of the night after several extrememly painful erections that just didn't seem to go away. That device is wicked! When I told me wife this AM, she told me I needed to work out all the kinks now, because when Sept starts, I'm in it, no questions asked. When I suggested that we start slowely, she shrugged it off.

Then about 2 hours ago, she came into my room, and told me that I really need to figure out if I'm going to do this. I told her I did want to do this, but she just looked at me and gave me it all out. "This is not going to be playtime, this will be very real for you." She basically told me she had every intention of treating me like dirt and she fully excpected me to treat her with love and caring in return. And that I have to acknowledge this before we begin, and not complain 2 weeks later that "I don't think you love me' (she said that in a whiney voice). I felt like a school child being lectured, as I was sitting down turned around and looking up to her. I just nooded, and told her I understood..that this was my decision, and something I was actually looking forward too. She nooded and then told I'd better get used to that device, as its not coming off once it goes on.

So I put it back on, and I am dedicated to wearing it for 24 hours staight! (Im' not giving her the key yet though!!! ;-)

M
 
Hi.
Welcome back "in". I am no where as "in" as you are even at my current 190+ day stint, but just as I have been saying to myself these days, "...be careful what you wish for!". Good luck. I look forward to hearing your narrative.

Good luck!
allaboutHer
 
M
I think I would have said, "I want to do this but I need a warm-up period with breaks." You should probably spend four of your vacation days once a week in September.
SFD
 
M
Remember there is no power in,"yes", only "no". Perhaps you should tell her that you're having 2nd thoughts about resuming because you're afraid to start without a warm-up period. Then stop wearing the device. Leave laying on the kitchen table.
SFD
 
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