Bruce1955

I've decided that if I'm going to do this, I should be completely honest about myself and why I'm self-locking myself in permanent chastity. In most areas of my life I think people would say I've been pretty successful. Sex hasn't been one of those areas.

I started out OK......played spin the bottle at parties, went to high school dances and group dates. But somehow it never progressed beyond that. In my teens and 20's I told myself it wasn't a big deal, someday I'd meet a woman I could be intimate with, but it never happened. Suddenly one day I realized I was the 40 year old virgin and I've remained that way to this day.

Not that I've been sexless. Starting with the Sears catalog and progressing through Playboy and the Internet, with at first the occasional stolen pair of Mom's pantyhose and now pairs I buy online to get me quickly aroused, my left hand and I have been having an affair for the last 45 years. We've made love to thousands of women although none of them knew about it, we've Cybered with women, or so they claimed, and with a few men (I was always the bottom). We've watched God knows how many hours of porn and downloaded a million jpegs. We've edged and gooned, we had an online mistress for over a year, and we even had an awkward telephone session one night. But all of it has just been masturbation. I am a chronic masturbator.

In my 20's, while I didn't drink very often, when I did I closed the bar. One morning when I was 26 I woke up with a terrible hangover and as bits and pieces of what I a complete fool I had made of myself the night before came into my mind, I swore I would never drink again......and I haven't.
I was a heavy smoker into my 40's, started when I was a teen. I would cut down, but I always ended up going back to heavy smoking....until one day I decided I had to do something about it. I entered a quit smoking program and haven't had a cigarette since.

Last summer I retired and within a couple of months I realized that I wasn't doing any of the things I had planned to do in my retirement. Instead I was spending all day and a lot of the night on my computer jacking off. I realized I had to do something. I took the 21 Day Challenge, completed it successfully, and then promptly went back to my habit. I discovered NoFAP, and with the help of an Aneros device, completed a 100 day challenge of no-porn and no masturbation.......and then promptly went back to my habit.
So I've come to realize that I have an all or nothing personalty, and just with drinking and smoking, I can't just reduce my masturbation. I have to quit completely, permanently.

So I've bought a CB6000S and locked myself up as a constant reminder of what I'm trying to do and as way of making me think before my left hand can lead me astray. I will only let myself out for Doctor's appointments, and if I can't keep things clean with it on all the time, I'll let myself out just for that purpose and only after I've packed things in ice long enough to be completely numb. I've committed to a 90 day complete lock up, after that I'll use the Aneros to keep my prostate healthy.

I'm not seeking a keyholder because I realize that no chastity device, plastic or steel, is escape proof unless the guy locked in it wants to stay in it. Thus all men in chastity are really their own keyholders.

I've joined Chastity Manor because I imagine there will be times when I will need advice and maybe some encouragement, or just the knowledge that other people are doing this. I'll journal how I'm doing.

Well, there. If you've read this far you know things about the anonymous me that no one who actually knows me does. I'm not really as weird as it may appear from what I've written. I'm just a habitual wanker who's decided to do something about it.