I haven’t given anyone a lovebite since I was at school. In them days if you didn’t conform to a narrow stereotype of maleness other boys would...
All good ideas. How about writing “TWAT” on his forehead and making him wear sandpaper inside a gallery of modern art, where he can be critiqued...
“Chasturbation”, when someone claims to be into chastity and denial, but is in fact merely engaged in one massively long wank. Closely related the...
I note that when you go all snarky your spelling and sentence structure also goes awry, which does make me suspect strong liquor may be involved....
You’ve gone all peculiar again, oh dear. Why does it happen? Are there any early warning signs you could look out for and just don some big...
Are you drunk?
No. For the reasons I’ve made clear. Do what you want, but don’t do it to prove you’re somehow more reckless than some stranger on the internet....
Whatever. But I am not endorsing it nor inciting anyone to do it. Maybe you think I’m being a wuss. Maybe I am. But it stops being sexy when one...
Have you had Tabasco on your mucous membrane? The anus is highly enervated. My concern is it could trigger shock. Plus as I said earlier, once...
Bros over hoes. The apostrophe is used for contractions and possessive forms. Of course bro and ho are already contractions of a kind but the...
No I was serious about not doing Tabasco internally. Save that for fantasy cos I truly think that could end in death. Back in the 20th Century I...
Yeah nettles are good too.
Well I have experienced exactly that with Tabasco and it’s extraordinarily severe torture. I doubt could be done outside of a CNC dynamic and...
Gott in Himmel!
It really hurts. And goes on hurting. Trying to wash it off makes it worse. You just have to ride it out for about an hour. Oh and heaven knows...
Ginger is kind of in the same bracket as dripping candle wax and furry handcuffs. “Ooh no Mistress, I beg you, anything but that!” he wails,...
Oh I see what you did there. Obtusely literal reading of poorly structured sentences with a pretence of genuine misunderstanding is MY territory!
What’s all this ginger twaddle? I’ve tried ginger and it’s mildly warm. Tabasco is the thing. Ginger’s for wimps.
Maybe should have just got your GP to be your keyholder. That’d be VERY kinky!
*prances gleefully towards the Venus Flytrap*