Discussion in 'The Powder Room' started by ello33, Dec 18, 2009.
so yea how do u find a mistress? im totaly lost an i been searching a while
If I were you I would start with a better post! Your post leaves alot to be desired, and your journel, although filled out, is poorly spelled.
There are many many things we look for when in search for a new sub or sissy. How well they appear in print is the number one thing since we cant actually see you. Also, how sincere you seem to be, and from this one line request you do not 'appear' to be very sincere.
So, My suggestion would be to work on your presentation, you might get what you're looking for.
Mistress Michelle :sex020:
Filling out your profile will help, as will adding some sort of display picture.
FetLife is a great site for finding local people, but be careful you don't end up with a Pay-As-You-Go Domme!
Maybe try and find your local munch (vanilla meet with kinky people) and see if that helps.
Good luck. :manga_beat:
Funnily enough - or otherwise - i have been chatting online on this site for a weel or so with a Lady who is exploring Her dominant side and i suspect it could already be described as distance domination.
i want to please Her and She is giving me litle tasks to save Her time.
on another wel known site, i always advise the subbies; get a pic or two, go to the university, get in chat, post a video, do a broadcast, fill out the about me and interest sections. Observe Dommes and Mistresses, look, do some research.
when you think you have found one, write a spectacular pettition. do not sound desperate.
Hook up on haste, suffer (not the good kind either) at leisure
join the local groups, got o munches, volunteer for stuff.
Godd Mistresses have a huge pool of subbies to choose from, stand out in a good way, behave, be trained, be polite. Very simple stuff
My advice to subs and sissies in the past has been to approach this as you would an application for employment. When looking for a job, you always put your best foot forward. Searching for a Domme or Mistress should be no different. Fill out as much of your profile as you possibly can. Check your spelling and grammar. Add some interesting facts and some pictures. Make yourself stand out from the rest of the pack. We like to see that you have taken the time and the initiative without having to be told.
A few thoughts from a previouse mistake maker;
i cannot recommend, instantly getting owned, placed under consideration, being protected by or any seriuse intent. That is until things have been discussed like, theories on discipline, likes, dislikes (mainly hers), punishment, time commitment, financial (rooms, gifts, toys for sessions, clothing, chastity devices , etc). Talk, play. earn, experience. Remember, get owned in a hurry, repent at leisure.
When you find the right one, communicate openly and honestly, anything else is betrayel. Remember this IS the Mistress of your dreams. Oh.. and do not cheat on her. very bad, very, very bad, for both of you, no fun, long lasting egative effects, nope, don't do it, can not recommend it.
If it is a cyber relationship, always remember, at the other end of the connection is a living, breathing human being with feelings and emotions.
I agree with a combination of Ms Linda and bobbijo here.
It is exactly like finding the right job... you need to know that you will as happy with the employer as they will with you as an employee.
As such, there is no quick fix. The more you chat, the more you post, the more people you connect with, the more likely you are to find The One!
There needs to be a lot of communication on all parts to get a Mistress/sub relationship going. Not a instant message and that's it.
Well, I got drunk at a company party one night and started talking to a co worker i've worked with for over 5 years, the next thing i knew was i was locked up and buying maid dresses. Of course this didn't happen on the night of the party but, over a period of 6 to 8 months. Unfortunately, She took a job a few states over. I was left without a keyholder and wondering if i would ever get another. Then, Halloween was coming up and i had the itch to dress again and was going to dress as a prom queen(hmmm, what was i thinking?). Well, i went to the mall looking for a pair of designer stockings that i've seen women around here wear. Well, this type of shopping gets me excited, so i decided to wear the ole CB6000, i went from store to store looking for the right stockings and when i got to Victoria Secrets, Mistress R ran me into a table. Her hand accidentally brushed my crotch. The look on Her face when She felt hard plastic, must have rivaled mine.
After we broke apart, She offered to buy lunch. We sat in the food court for about 4 hours talking. She told me She saw me in one store then, followed me through the mall. We ended up with Her following me to my place to look in my closet. Now under new management for 4 months now. So, sometimes you don't find them, they find you.:anim_37:
Oh By the way... i ended up going to Her Halloween party (not mine)as a French maid.
I think you have been given some great information already but please remember that it is a relationship. Perhaps not a traditional one it is one none the less. So the obvious putting your best foot forward should be common sense but also remember that a Real Mistress will think very highly of herself and will expect the same in her sub. Contrary to the fantasy world most tops do not want a mindless sub who does not feel he or she has a worth. Your actions will show by your presentation of yourself, including statements like the previously aforementioned post. On top of the normal relationships you then have to find one who is into the lifestyle. As mentioned munches, parties etc will be the only way to find these unless you have the luck of lockedinNWA. LOL
Be sincere! Be respectful and this includes of yourself. Don't go out on a limb to make a post and not put some thought into it. With the abundance of Mistresses out there who have hundreds of sub petitioning them you are not likely to find one who is in a desperate "will take anything" mode. Then again if you found one would you really want to submit to them???
Pretend you are dating, then take it up a notch because you have to!! This lifestyle does not come with free rides, trust me I know. As a past Dom there was nothing more revolting then a sub who just threw themselves at my feet. The best form of flattery for me was a sub who had a mind of their own but chose to submit out of love and respect not desperation. Please forgive me if it sounds like I said you are desperate because I don't believe that to be the case. However please don't let it "appear" to be the case. If writing is not your thing get some help with it. A great introduction would go a long way with potential Mistresses seeking the services of a submissive. then build your resume to speak. What do you want, what can you offer etc. These are things many will want to know BEFORE they will contact you. With so many options to choose from we can not expect a true Mistress to waist their time on those who don't invest time. Hopefully this helps.
By the way with only a few minutes of time invested I found this link for you "hint" http://www.femdomdating.com/ Look around and see what you can find. Best of luck and remember your only worth to someone else is the worth you give yourself!
i didn't take this new step, lightly, we sat and talked about fantasies, do's don'ts what it expect, and set boundaries. It was a little before noon when Mistress R and i sat down for lunch in the mall, it was about 5:00pm or 6:00pm by the time we ended up at my house. Going from one Mistress to another is a little easier than right out of the box.
My first Mistress and i knew each other for 5 years before, that fateful night. We were each others first walk on the wild side. In the seven or eight months after beginning, we learned a lot about respect, care, love for the other person, andi learned a lot about myself. There were times at beginning that was real rough, i didn't want to do what She wanted, She would punish me, lock me up and leave. This was tough we never discussed boundaries, THESE HAVE TO BE OUT IN THE OPEN!!! otherwise, nobody will be happy and you will be very sore.
As Ms Linda spoke,
Without expectations, boundaries and respects set, you'll have nothing but hatred down the the road. Would you try to get a job at a large company without checking it out first? Think you're gonna get a corner office with a good pay, when you accept and find out you'll get the basement mail room for minimum wage?
I just know that my first trip to sissification came when i was 42 years old. My first time into women's clothes was when i was 5 years old and my three sisters used me as a live Barbie doll until i was 12 years old. I guess i was warped early, after a trip through the US Navy and many years after, the trip has been tough to say the least. The road to happiness could be a long one.