The feeling of long term chastity

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by SlaveBridget, Oct 24, 2016.

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  1. SlaveBridget
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    SlaveBridget Cuckold Sissy Slave Bridget

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    I decided to put into words the emotions and feelings I have if being kept in long term chastity. Since I dont know most of you, I will say that I have been a sissy, a cuckold, and in full time chastity since 2003.Of course at first it was more of a game but like so many of you know that game can turn into an actual lifestyle. But even the first time I put that CB3000 on in 2003, the feeling of being unable to touch yourself is an overwhelming feeling and then once you realize that you have no control over when or how long...it becomes even that much more intense. The crazy part is that to this day, it is still just as intense for me.

    I call long term chastity "delicious torture". Delicious because it feels unlike anything else and for like minded people it becomes an addiction. But it is also torture because even though your cock is locked up and you cant touch it, it constantly squirms around inside of it cage, gets hard and soft, and is always gripping your parts reminding you that you are no longer in control. many would say that is the delicious part and I would also agree.

    The hardest time of each day for me is when I shower. I am on the honor system and made a promise many years ago that even when unlocked never to touch myself inappropriately and to this day I have kept that promise. I use a scrubbie to clean my clit, use the detachable shower head to rinse (wow does that ever feel good though, lol) and as soon as I get dried the device is back on. I am always tempted to cheat but havent. After all what good is chastity and a promise if you dont honor them?

    As of December 2014 I am not even allowed to cum like a man. Previous to that I might get to masturbate maybe a few times a year, usually on Mistresses' feet and then lick it off but many of her previous lovers wanted her to cut me off from intercourse, which she did a long time ago, and then demands were made to not allow me to ever cum again. Once she saw me use an Aneros toy to achieve orgasm in 2013 she said "well you really dont need to ever touch your cock again" and so after one last time when she decided as a Christmas present in 2014 to sit on my cock after getting it semi hard, at which point I came in about 30 seconds, she said "is there really any reason for you to use your cock like a man ever again?" I had to agree that there was not. So now I get to cum using my Aneros maybe once a month if I am good.

    How many of you have gotten to the point where you don't even want to cum that way? I mean you do but it would be such a huge letdown to masturbate and cum that you dont even want to? I am sure there are many like me out there who feel this way arent there? So the feelings and emotions that build up when you get to this point are almost too much to handle.

    The other night I was sitting in a chair and the same feeling I often get washed across my entire body. It is a dull beautiful aching that starts at my hip bones on either side and runs down to my locked up cock. I liken it to that feeling you get before you cum but it doesnt stop or go away. Almost like you are going to cum but dont and cant. I could have almost screamed out loud but sat there grinding my hips around. All I could do was to stand up, go to the bedroom where Mistress was, and throw myself at her feet and beg her to allow me to please her. I needed to do that to divert my attention but she was not in the mood as her lover had left earlier and she was worn out.

    So she told me to clean the guest bathroom upstairs and to strip naked while doing so and that perhaps that would take my mind off of it. It just made it worse. I am on my knees cleaning the floor and behind the toilet and only feeling more pathetic and pitiful which is turning me on more. Of course then Mistress comes in and tells me what a good sissy I am being and again this only made it worse. I asked if I could use my Aneros to which she replied that I am still over two weeks away from getting that pleasure.

    The intensity would not subside. I felt this way for the rest of the evening. My loins were on fire. I even went into my sissy bedroom and fingered myself for quite some time. It felt amazing but only made my situation worse. I woke up several times that night and was so hard in my cage and slept fitfully.

    I have never known such a powerful feeling. People have asked me "how can you stand not touching yourself and cumming?" They think I am crazy but any one who has been in long term chastity understands exactly how I feel.

    I want to cum but I dont want to cum. I want top touch myself but not only can't but won't even if I could. I want to scream at times because of the sheer intensity of the feeling of being locked up and owned and at the same time I can think of nothing I want more in my life. Chastity defines who I am and what I am and I love every single second of it.
     
  2. sylvana chastity
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    sylvana chastity just Syl

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    what a nicely written explanation, hon - hope your keyholder read it as well. :)
     
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  3. Newlover
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    Newlover Active member

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    Hot and insightful share !!!!!!!
     
  4. Newlover
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    Newlover Active member

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    Good idea :))))))))))
     
  5. SlaveBridget
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    SlaveBridget Cuckold Sissy Slave Bridget

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    Thanks for your comments. I dont think my Mistress will read it but she sure knows the power she has over me using chastity as one of her tools. We have both grown so much over the years. Her as a Domme and me as her sub. It is literally like we are two different people than when we met and married.
     
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  6. Newlover
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    Newlover Active member

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    Here IS to change...................
     
  7. Lockedwithlove
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    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

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    If you don't mind me asking what was your marriage like when you two tied the knot? would you have considered yourselves "vanilla" or were you already beyond that?
     
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  8. maid rebecca 25
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    Love your description Bridget. I've (only) been locked 2 years+2 months, but my chastity has become such an important part of my life: it gives me a real direction & focus & for me as a true sissy, well it's just a better way to live & makes me feel more fem & girly to be caged permanently. xx
     
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  9. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    A few days ago I would not have really fully understood your description of the delicious torture, the ache that spreads throughout you like the feeling just before you cum. But then, while we were on holiday and after I had massaged her shoulders and neck, my Wife held my face in both her hands and kissed me while looking directly into my eyes. I was naked and she was mostly dressed. All of a sudden a feeling like the one that you described washed right through me and, while she was still kissing me, I started to whimper. At that she bit my bottom lip and the feelings swelled again and I swear I very nearly had an orgasm.

    I took as much of it as I could take before having to ask her to stop. She was very happy when I described what had happened.

    I think the critical thing is it is over four months since my last full orgasm and two months since I was last allowed a ruined orgasm. This has seen a definite difference in how easy it is for Elle to make me aroused.

    Just writing this is getting me dangerously aroused.
     
  10. Vinny
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    Vinny Locked up again. Starting year 6.

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    Over the years I have become addicted to the anticipation of an orgasm more than the orgasm itself. We really have no D/s play with chastity. We have been into BDSM for 45 years but always left it at the bedroom door. At this point I do not want an orgasm. My wife just gave me a xmas choice; Lasagna or an orgasm. We will be eating Lasagna for Christmas. :) After going so long without an orgasm I just hate to have one and then start all over again getting used to months of chastity again. Much easier to just stay locked up and have great edging sex ever few days. I like when I get aroused at a glimpse of cleavage or a bare shoulder. Every night my wife gives me a kiss and fondles my cage until I am straining in it to get erect. She laughs and then goes to bed. She loves teasing me and hates how I get after I orgasm. I do not like how I am after an orgasm either so it works out well for us. But that sweet feeling of always being aroused is like a drug to me.
     
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  11. Precarious PET
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    Precarious PET Long term member

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    Beautifully said Bridget!
    In my dreams I would get to serve at your level1
    So nice to have you back at the Mansion so that some of us less fortunate girls can live vicariously through your adventures!
    PET
     
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  12. Newlover
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    Newlover Active member

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    Such a hot share !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  13. maid rebecca 25
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    Newlover: Like your post a lot. My last (penile) orgasm (Sept 30th 2014) was rubbish. It took me an age to get hard & the resulting come was very weak & frankly left me really depressed for about 3 days. I've not bothered since: frankly I feel more horny when locked. I also have an Aneros, but much better (obviously) is an "anal orgasm" during sex (a strapon will suffice). Happy New Year Bridget & everyone: here's to a chaste 2017.
     
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  14. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    my one was a long time ago as well and i felt depress as well and its better not to has one i don't think.
     
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  15. JiL
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    JiL servitude4u

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    Can't help but chime in as my Bride has agreed to make 2017 an orgasm free year for me. No ruined stuff either. Edging and milking both happen at various intervals, depending on her schedule and how good I have been. Hope we haven't set an unrealistic goal for a Newbie like me, although I have been practicing full time chastity since August 2016. The emotional crash mentioned by so many is huge for me after I am allowed to orgasm now. It was always there, but I did'nt realize how bad it actually is until I started practicing chastity. The longer I am locked up, the less I desire an orgasm, although that does not mean I am not frequently frustrated, horny, etc... I just get to deal with it all in a much healthier and appropriate way. I hope that as more time passes, I am filled with the wonderful feelings and emotions mentioned by Bridget at the start of the the thread. It sounds like something to really look forward to.
     
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  16. Newlover
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    Newlover Active member

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    thank you :)))))))))) Thanks for sharing............
     
  17. For69
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    For69 Active member

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    inspiring.
     
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