A Unique Perspective?
First let me thank you for sharing what must be considered the most intimate aspects of your life. Marv Alpert was outed as a cross dresser way before I discovered my sexuality. I didn't know anyone enjoyed humiliation at the time, but I thought so often about the humiliation he was put through as the whole world learned of his secret lifestyle. I truly hope he is one of those who enjoys humiliation, so that is wasn't a completely negative experience for him.
Since I was the one who started this poll, I had no intention of posting my opinion, but it seems my position is unique, so perhaps some of you will find it interesting. I started this poll for jamie because I know he is often tempted to think there is something wrong with him. He doesn't understand why a little boy would enjoy thoughts of being bound, about to be tortured or executed. I don't have an answer, but I know he's not alone.
I will try to be brief, but as you know, that is all but impossible for me.
I adopted this lifestyle for jamie, so you could say life chose it because of jamie's sexual needs. But I didn't have to choose it, so I chose it of my own free will also. I can't say I'm addicted to the lifestyle, but I am addicted to the power. I can't say I'm addicted to the sexual gratification of cuckolding, I'm just addicted to sexual gratification (specifically orgasms; I have about 16 years of orgasms to catch up on). And while I don't need cuckolding for my sexual gratification, jamie needs it for his.
When I kneel down in front of jamie and take my lover's cock in my mouth, especially a long thick dick (he prefers black for the ascetics (and because he really likes Frank)) I maintain eye contact with him the entire time. These are the most intimate moments we have ever shared in our lives, including of course, our marriage. The more I express my satisfaction with that cock, the more I moan and smile and swoon, the more jamie's eyes glaze over in ecstasy.
I look into his eyes and I can see that his stomach feels weightless, like when you shoot down a drop on a roller coaster. I can see that he's in heaven and hell at the same time, and he is happiest when he experiences both together. As long as heaven and hell are in balance, he continues falling down that infinite drop, his tummy tickling like it did when he was a boy imagining that the Indians had tied him up. When his mind clings to jealousy and pity, he hits bottom with a crushing G force. When his mind shifts to remembering that my happiness is all that matters to him, he begins climbing yet again to an even higher peak. I will remind you, as I often remind him, "I may be fucking someone else, but I'm making love to you (him)."
When jamie and I first came to this board, we had no idea such a place existed, or that there were people who enjoyed chastity. We both accept it, but I don't think either of us understands it. I got jamie a CB6000s purely to control him, frustrate him, and train him to have orgasms only with permission, and to a degree, only on my command. (Permission means he comes some time after I have given my ok, on demand means he comes as soon as I order him to.) So, not only is my perception unique, it is very narrow. I don't understand many of your predilections, but I, we, certainly embrace them. We have met so many sweet, understanding, open people here. The world may consider us oddballs, but it is obvious that our oddities have shaped us into caring openhearted oddballs.
Ok, I think I'm done (for now).
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