just getting started - slow start with wife

Hi curioushubby and welcome to the Mansion. There is much you can learn here. The biggest thing to to starting chastity you have already accomplished, that is getting your significant other to accept your desired to be locked up. Everything now will either be a speeding car or slow to a snails pace. Every relationship is different. Take your time, enjoy the ride with your wife and make sure you both communicate with each other as there are many roads to chastity. There is a lot of information here and other sites about the subject. Good luck and Best regards.

 

It's taken my wife quite awhile. As many others have mentioned throughout these pages you've probably had this fantasy long before you brought it up to her. What has helped me a lot was to get my wife involved in various forms of information from her perspective. For example I found a book on Amazon called the Keyholders manual or something. It had about 27 good reviews and seemed like a good book. I just recently gave it to my wife (with out reading it oops) to give her another perspective from her side as it is written by another keyholder.

She has taken it and run. Although we've taken maybe a year to get here already, the book has really helped. I don't know if it would have helped earlier or not. Which brings up another point, careful what you wish for. You may want it to go faster, but take your time and enjoy the experiences you have now. I was in a rush also, and now my wife is talking about how she learned there is no medical reason for me to have an orgasm, and chastity can be worn for over a year, and when she required me to give her a massage naked wearing only my chastity and I got so hard and turned on that my little peewee looked malformed, she punished me for getting too excited and forcing her hand to take off the chastity to give me a break.

So I can understand where you are coming from, but try to enjoy where you are at also. Eventually you will get there if you give your wife plenty of time to absorb the information. You can lead her to some websites and advice written by other keyholders. Help her understand why you want to do this has been the biggest help for my wife. Once it sunk in (which took time), AND she finally understood the psychology of why I wanted to do it, provided by another keyholder, they that has really freed her up. But now things are going so fast I almost wish they'd slow down a bit. But I still love pleasuring my wife, so it's all great.

 

good luck @curioushubby !

I think the book @BaldWizard refers to is this one:

A KeyHolder's Handbook: A Woman's Guide To Male Chastity Paperback – October 29, 2013 by Georgia Ivey Green
ISBN-13: 978-1493595372

LOL I bought myself a Kindle copy too.. I was just as curious as her!

 

Yep that's the one. Wife really enjoys it so far.

 

Hi. Do not be discouraged. It took my wife 10 months to accept Chastity as our lifestyle. We had a lot of stops and starts along the way but worked our way up to 1 month and now trying for 3 months. I have the same issue as you. My wife can go days without mentioning my chastity and gets upset if I mention it. I try to explain to her that it is easy for her to put it out of her mind but I am wearing a CB6000s 24/7 and it is like someone holding my penis plus any discomfort it may provide, such as having to clean up with sponges and Q-Tips after I urinate. While she understands, she still can go days without acknowledging that I am locked up.

What we have done to try to help that is to schedule two sex nights a week which we keep no matter how busy or tired we are. She always ends up getting horny when she makes me moan in sexual frustration. Sometimes I will hug her and move her hand over my crotch so she can feel my CB. It seems that no matter how many times I explain that if she ignores my chastity, I feel like a prisoner locked up and forgotten about or that she is using chastity as an excuse not to have sex with me as often as before. We also added a little light D/s. Every night she snaps her fingers and tells me to get her a cup of coffee and/or a snack. Last night she had me cut and file her toe nails. Just little stuff like that. No Mistress/slave stuff, just requests and obedience. She is even nice about it and asks me to get her things while the TV commercials are on. She is not on a power trip so she does not have me do things just because she can.

Just take baby steps. Three weeks ago, what started out as an experiment in Chastity was made a lifestyle by my wife. She has grown to love the sexual power she has and becoming the focus of our sex, instead of me. She also says that she does not have to change the sheets as often either. Hang in there and take it slow.

 

Priceless

 

Welcome! It's interesting how some wives react. When I first mentioned it to my wife, she really didn't understand it. We bought a book and read it together and she became intrigued. She told me it was interesting, but she would never want to live that kind of a lifestyle. Soon after, I ordered a device and within a couple days she noticed the change in me - so did I frankly. Now, a couple months in, she is referring to this as "our new lifestyle" and she is quite dedicated. She thinks of it as a new start to our relationship; we've been married 25 years. She's also learning to punish, tease, and torment me. She required me to give her a list of my most intimate fantasies and she's these to her advantage. But she is absolutely serious about controlling my orgasms. She does not want "the old me" back.

 

That could me you're describing!! Lol

 

One piece of advice: Try your best to control this so called "need" of yours. Speaking from experience, it can be lead to rumble - and we don't like that, do we?;-) Be grateful that she came along, and Don't expect her to feel what You feel. It is all about her, or?
To comfort you some, I can tell you that I was reluctant to edge him or even tease him at first. After almost a full year I starting to gain some interest, And now I enjoy it - when I FEEL LIKE IT. It has become yet another tool in my power tool box;-) Once she truly embraces power - it might be coming your way too...

 

Welcome to the Mansion

I understand that feeling of needing to be reminded of the chastity by your partner, both verbally or with teasing. It's something I think we all experience as locked males. Sometimes a reminder simply serves to make sense of it all for me.
But that's the big and sometimes most difficult last vestiges of your control to shed. Give up controlling the pace and let your wife mold the relationship, and you, into what she dreams it to be.
I was once afforded 'creative control' over a Femdom relationship and let me tell you, with so much sexual energy built up you will make some very silly decisions. I was responsible for pushing our relationship to the silly speed it crashed at.

The best part of chastity isn't being locked up, it's the moments when you see just how happy it's making your partner and how lucky she feels to have this dynamic. That is where following her decisions will lead you. Enjoy your journey