This is a bit of a hard one to write but I have to wonder if anyone else has noticed this or something similar.
In the beginning chastity is new and exciting, it has remained so for many years however as time has passed liked it does chastity has become the norm and whilst yes still exciting, new unhealthy habits have emerged.
Let me explain, before chastity due to the pressures of every day life it had become far more easier to go and have a wank than spend an enormous amount of time and effort trying to get the wife in the mood for sex. It was easier to sneak off upstairs and have a quick wank whilst enjoying my fantasies the way I liked them than it was to compromise with the wife and share some intimacy together.
This created an unhealthy relationship dynamic that took us a long time to move past. With the help of the chastity lifestyle though I did refocus my efforts and cure the situation for a long time.
Skip forward what must be close to 3 years now and I can see the same situation re emerging in our lives.
The more normal chastity has become the more accepting of my situation me and the wife have become. The problem is that the world arround you doesn't want to play with you. The wife is working more, the kids need more help prepairing for majour life changes i.e. 1 leaving school and the other moving to university. Elderly parents requiring more care and grandchildren that want to visit every weekend.
The wife has had a drop in energy levels so unstably doesn't initiate play as often. I am however still very easily arroused by simply just being in presence and not wanting to "bother or pester her" for sexual intimacy and knowing I cant get personal releif anymore I have started avoiding non sexual intimacy with her.
To put it bluntly it is easier to avoid her by going out and walking the dog than it is to cuddle up on the settee and become arroused but denied, not by her but by the circumstances we are in.
She clearly feels the distance I am creating between us and so when she feels like playing she is also hesitant to do so because of the distance I have created.
So whats the answer?
Well its the same answer that we had before. We obviously need to re open the lines of communication, I need to explain how hard it is to be emotionally intimate when there is no sexual intimacy between us at all. She needs to realise that if I am making special efforts to increase her comfort and make her life easier that even when she is tired or has people wanting to visit sometimes she has to prioritise me and commit to having time alone for us to play.
We will work through this, thats what we do and thats whay a marriage is. Its identifying problems and creating solutions together.
I was wondering if anyone else has noticed similar or different negative behaviours develop after some years of living this lifestyle.
In the beginning chastity is new and exciting, it has remained so for many years however as time has passed liked it does chastity has become the norm and whilst yes still exciting, new unhealthy habits have emerged.
Let me explain, before chastity due to the pressures of every day life it had become far more easier to go and have a wank than spend an enormous amount of time and effort trying to get the wife in the mood for sex. It was easier to sneak off upstairs and have a quick wank whilst enjoying my fantasies the way I liked them than it was to compromise with the wife and share some intimacy together.
This created an unhealthy relationship dynamic that took us a long time to move past. With the help of the chastity lifestyle though I did refocus my efforts and cure the situation for a long time.
Skip forward what must be close to 3 years now and I can see the same situation re emerging in our lives.
The more normal chastity has become the more accepting of my situation me and the wife have become. The problem is that the world arround you doesn't want to play with you. The wife is working more, the kids need more help prepairing for majour life changes i.e. 1 leaving school and the other moving to university. Elderly parents requiring more care and grandchildren that want to visit every weekend.
The wife has had a drop in energy levels so unstably doesn't initiate play as often. I am however still very easily arroused by simply just being in presence and not wanting to "bother or pester her" for sexual intimacy and knowing I cant get personal releif anymore I have started avoiding non sexual intimacy with her.
To put it bluntly it is easier to avoid her by going out and walking the dog than it is to cuddle up on the settee and become arroused but denied, not by her but by the circumstances we are in.
She clearly feels the distance I am creating between us and so when she feels like playing she is also hesitant to do so because of the distance I have created.
So whats the answer?
Well its the same answer that we had before. We obviously need to re open the lines of communication, I need to explain how hard it is to be emotionally intimate when there is no sexual intimacy between us at all. She needs to realise that if I am making special efforts to increase her comfort and make her life easier that even when she is tired or has people wanting to visit sometimes she has to prioritise me and commit to having time alone for us to play.
We will work through this, thats what we do and thats whay a marriage is. Its identifying problems and creating solutions together.
I was wondering if anyone else has noticed similar or different negative behaviours develop after some years of living this lifestyle.