The Alpha and HER mate (the ongoing saga of a caged wolf)

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  1. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    Felt better on Thursday, had my monthly massage appointment after work adn a pretty good evening at home, but, after putting Little One to bed, Mistress started getting ready for bed. Once She started Brushing her teeth I knew nothing was going to happen... I try hard to not be upset, but after the build up the last few days, adn the frustration the kept things from happening it's hard not to be disappointed..
     
  2. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    Up at 4 am this morning, this SATURDAY morning, to get Little One up and off to a school function. Even with some not very subtle hints last night nothing happened... Not as disappointed as Thursday night, letting myself slip back into the mode of not expecting anything. The only problem with that way of thinking is that I also don't put any effort into trying...

    Yes, our FLR is an unusual balancing act. Mistress Wolf is best in charge, and I am best under her direction, but She wants a near 50/50 Mate relationship, but with decision rights. This works, but can be frustrating for us both. It would be much easier if She were more dominant (hate to use the word this way but can't think of a better one this early in the morning), and would tighten the rules , discipline me more, ect...

    Most likely nothing will happen during the day while Little One is gone, as we have a group Breakfast, then I have a friend coming over to help help unload some materials for a yard project..

    "Sigh..." All I can do it try my best to be as Mistress Wolf wants...
     
  3. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    and yesterday, Saturday, had an issue that i need to have checked with the doctors before we have any intimate interactions again..

    This morning it feels like I have ANOTHER Kidney stone moving...

    Getting pretty down right now.. trying not to let it spiral out of control, but I'm on the edge..

    Mistress Wolf is keeping me somewhat stabilized, but it's going to be touchy until I find out on the medical issue again.
     
  4. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    Kidney stone passed, had the first Dr appointment to hash out the latest medical issue.. labs, adn exam, have follow up appointment in 30 days... can't even get cleared from the last surgery befoer gtting hit with the next one.
     
  5. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    Also, started falling into my crazy spiral of a rabbit hole, but Mistress Wolf was watching and drug me back to reality. She understands the stress I'm currently under, but is not putting up with any bs... !
     
  6. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    so, now at 2 weeks with no intimate (ie: Sexual) contact. Still waiting on results from lab work, etc.

    Hate sounding whiny, it's just frustrating that these kind of issues keep coming up, just as Mistress and I are getting back into the swing of intimacy, BAM, new issue that stops things again.

    Sometimes I find myself just wishing she would say "Fine, we are never going to again.." would solve the whole problem.. not in a good way, but at least it would stop being a disappointment..
     
  7. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    Still waiting to hear something back from the lab work, but did get fully cleared for the surgery recovery.

    Was hoping to at least cuddle last night, but shortly before bed I found that the shelving in my closet had collapsed during the day, spent about 3 hours clearing the closet, rehanging the shelves, sorting thru everything to get rid of some of the clutter, then reshelfing things. about 90% done and the shelves collapsed again. That was at a bit before 10 pm... past bedtime, and I was so frustrated by then that I was snippy (Her word). Closed the closet door and intended to work on it today. Things got a little chilly as we went to bed.

    Today, home from work, showered so I could go buy new shelving (this set is junk), and while drying off my lower back went out....

    Can I PLEASE just catch a break?
     
  8. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    got my closet shelving put back together.. while working on it I managed to cut myself, when Mistress Wolf was right there. Her: "Clean that up and take care of it now!" Me: "You don't need to yell at me about it..." (it was a tone and inflection thing)


    Started a rather short discussion, She is feeling Her authority, Told me She was NOT yelling, just very stern, because, after all, she is in charge and it was my idea in the first place... conversation over... "Yes Dear"

    To add: I was in a foul mood, working all day on my feet, came home, quick shower then started digging out the closet. only 'breaks" I had were to go get tools from the garage, to use the bathroom, and a quick dinner (along with cleaning the kitchen after), then right back into the project again. Had to get it mostly done, as the contents of the closet were taking up a large part of the bedroom, and we couldn't go to bed until it was picked up. Was already stressed..
     
  9. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    and still no 'Intimate time' with Mistress Wolf... February started off so promising.. and no, it's not what She wants either.. She is just as frustrated with the continuing medical issues, etc.. There is intimate contact (hugs, kisses, some cuddles, but no pleasure..
     
  10. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    Spent a great evening with Mistress Wolf last night. Little One is out with friends overnight, so we went to a Meditation session, then out to dinner. Sat and talked about our day, and what we had experienced at the Meditation, found new common ground, and the Meditation helped enter and ground me again...
     
  11. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    Mistress Wolf has definitely stepped up a couple of notches in Her position. questioning many things I do instinctively ("Did you lock the doors" when getting out of the car, other similar 'corrections' in how I do things), and Her demeanor has changed slightly in how she speaks to me, less friend, more 'employee'.

    This is good, but there are things I would like to talk to Her about just don't know how to start the dialogue
     
  12. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    Away from home from Thursday evening thru Sunday afternoon, got a warm welcome, but not as warm as 'normal', a couple of loose hugs and a couple of 'touch in passing'.. 'normal' is tight hugs and "I missed you" conversations...

    Anyway, got my stuff unloaded, put away, and started the BBQ so i could cook dinner. After dinner cleaned the kitchen, and caught up on social media, while Mistress Wolf and Little One watched their shows, after Little one was in bed went and got my shower (after being told "Stop complaining" (had commented on Little Ones new get up time affecting my morning personal time), got ready for bed and without much more conversation , but with Mistress holding my hand as normal, off to sleep.

    Welcome home Grey Wolf....
     
  13. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    Last night after dinner had an expansive episode (full on erection) while laying on the floor watching tv with Mistress Wolf. got up and walked into the kitchen with Her, where Little One couldn't see, and 'presented' the view of my now stretched pouched underwear to Mistress. She replied "Nice undies, did you take a pill?" (referring to my cialis). Replied, "No dear, I didn't."

    She turned away and went back to what She was doing so I asked permission to take my shower and start getting ready for bed... granted, and that was that. No interest, no touching.. went to sleep quickly with Mistress holding my hand.

    Been a bit over a month since any intimate contact, still waiting for results from lab work, have an appointment in a week... hoping that the results are positive (in a good and healthy way) and then maybe we can get back to 'normal'...

    Honestly though, last night I felt the beginning of the downward spiral... will try to express this expanding black hole to Mistress Wolf this morning....
     
  14. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    Mistress and I have been very busy this week, working better and talking, but focused on caring for our aged Furrkid (dog). Had to have emergency surgery Tuesday, and caring for him has been very labor intensive as he figures out how to function with one eye and a cone... hopefully just a temp situation, trying to heal an eye injury, but won't know for 2-4 WEEKS..


    Just another stressor....
     
  15. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    Lost the battle yesterday, furrkid had to have his eye removed due to rupture from the previous ulcer. Just seems like I can't win even the small battles anymore.
     
  16. skD
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    skD HausCuck

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    Yes you can, hang in there. Been there myself.
     
  17. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    Thank you skD... but lately I've lost every one I've fought... maybe I'm not supposed to fight anymore..
     
  18. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    a couple of minor wins this week... maybe things ARE actually turning around.

    The dog is doing well, got a very hard to get appointment with a canine eye specialist for tomorrow, when the average wait is 2-3 weeks...

    Got good news on my medical issues, the lab work all came back negative, which is good, maybe Mistress Wolf will take an interest in me intimately again...
     
  19. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    Dog is doing as well as can be expected, I'm feeling better, The sun is out, adn life is okay...

    Still no intimate play though.. oh, well... that is Mistress's decision to make, isn't it.
     
  20. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    Dog goes in tomorrow for stitch removal and status check, Hopefully he'll be out of the cone of shame and can get around without scraping the walls, etc. It's kept Mistress Wolf and I both on edge and tired..

    Nothing of the naked and intimate has happened since Feb 13th... and nothing will happen until at least Monday at this point.

    I'm trying hard to stay positive, but it's damn hard. have been right on the edge of the abyss several times.. Mistress has been just involved enough to keep me from stepping off the edge.
     
  21. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    easy weekend, right up until the migraine hit last night.. still going this morning. Migraine meds taken, trying all the things that normally work.. they have helped a little, no longer feels like my head is going to explode, just damn uncomfortable now.

    No other changes or interesting stuff to mention... :(
     
  22. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    after 6 weeks of no intimate play, I'm at the point of just locking myself up and throwing away the keys... Mistress Wolf seems to have no need for it any more... No teasing, no denial, nothing.
     
  23. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    No, IT'S NOT!!! They say there is no wrong way to play Chastity...but you do not at all sound fulfilled in life right now. That happens sometimes...and I'll calm down...but...whatever you guys do needs to fulfill both of you...having a "mistress" that makes you sad is "useless" ...

    I've been trying to make my wife understand..."My sexual thoughts never go away...if you can articulate what you really, truly want out of me...I'll give it to you 5 times over if you just pay attention to me a few times a week" (even if I'm locked)
     
  24. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    @WEC , understand, the day to day life is pretty good, frustrating trying to balance everything, especially with a 16 y.o. daughter in the house who's 9:00 bedtime is basically the marker for Mistress and I getting ready for bed. With my my job I have to be up at about 4:40 to wake up and get ready to go, so Mistress Wolf has said 'No play on school/work nights' and 'No play on weekends during the day or evenings'.

    My most recent medical issue was an HSV (Herpes) scare, She was not worried on the how it could have happened, just about confirming it. That took about 4 weeks from initial possibility to confirmation I DIDN'T have any STD's (thank the Gods!), but as soon as I was cleared we had the medical issue with the furr kid (16 y.o. dog), and ended up having to have an eye removed, then recovery from that.

    Add in my recent 6 day migraine, Her 'week off', Spring break for the kid, and there just hasn't been any interest. I've hinted, touched (as much as I am allowed), etc, but.... nothing...

    Yesterday morning at about 5:30 I locked the cage back on, wore it all day until my evening shower. Left it off on the chance 'something' might happen'. After soaking in the hot tub, and showering after, Mistress Wolf put on her nightshirt, so I knew nothing was going to happen. So, as of last night about 10 pm, I am locked back into my itty bitty device. It's actually about 3/4- 1" too short, but I fit and it's comfortable, actually forgot is was on overnight.

    Today is our 15th Wedding Anniversary, if I don't do anything stupid (which I an known to do), and both feel good this evening... maybe... BUT, I'm not getting my hopes up (and it's for sure my cock is not 'getting up' either).
     
  25. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    And Yes, it is Her decision.. I gave up the right/privilege to initiate intimate play. I may ask/hint, but it is Her right to decide if/when..
     
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