So, I been thinking....
(...)
Colossians 3:5 says,
"Deaden you therefore the members the upon the earth....." It goes in to list attitudes and sexual practices that the Bible condemns.
I am not going to judge what anyone else does. I am pointing simply to the beginning of the passage. The word "deaden" and "your members".
The question I asked myself is, Is God saying here to mentally and/or physically block or deaden myself? If my chastity cage might be deemed deviant behavior or a kink, could it actually be the opposite?
Could it be something God would actually WANT me to do, if I am having issues and habits that I need to curb that would enhance my marriage, which is also pleasing to God? Would blocking access to our "member", in effect, be "deadening it", and wouldn't that be the Christian thing to do?
So is it really deviant, a kink, a fetish? Maybe, but wait...... Could it actually be something everyone should be doing, since many have found it to improve the bond with their wife?
Hello,
Thanks for your lovely post. I totally get where you are coming from. As a christian myself, who experiences A LOT of benifits of practicing male chastity in my marriage, I really appreciated your post. I am sorry it turned out to be disscusions on biblical theology and religion in general. Let me just right back at what I read as the purpose of your post: could male chastity be something that the christian God would approve (or even greatly encourage)?
I am myself a devote christian male, married to my lovely wife. For me marriage is wonderful and regular intercourse is nothing less than AMAZING. Neither me nor my wife really need any kink to spicy it up.
It was evident from the very beginning of our marriage that I have a significantly higher libido than my wife. At the same time, I also had a deep urge to make true selfless love the very core of my sexuality. For years, I struggled to reconcile these two sides of my sexuality. The answer used to be... masturbation! Stupid, I know. The logic was: If I masturbate->I want less sex->I will pester her less for sex. The premis behind this logic was that my higher sex-drive was in conflict with making my wife happy. The sex-drive was a negative force that needed to be put away by self-gratification, rather than a force that - channeled in the right way - could be a great benefit to both my wife and our marriage.
While wife was okay with me masturbating, she wasn't happy either - especially as it over time made me initiate less that she wanted. Also, making masturbation my primary outlet was conflicting with my view of what God intended marriage to be. The text you mentioned is interesting, and I really liked your reflections. I think of other texts too. As you I don't want to argue about biblical exegesis, I just want to show texts that inspired me immensly.
First of all, in Genesis Gods first "commandment" to human kind is to have sex (be fruitful and multiply). (This "commandment" might be built into us as a sex drive, perhaps the text simply means that both male and female are designed to be very sexual beings?) This "commandment" predates the fall. Sex is the very opposite of sin: sex is the ultimate expression of love, originally designed for a sin-less (pre-fall) world, a wolrd full of love and based on love, a world that knows of nothing other than love, where and everything and everyone is love; a world where God the creator is love and sex is the ultimate human expression of the very essence of God and the universe! (If this doesn't make a man urge to use his sexuality for the best for his wife - what will!)
I also think about Paul who writes that a husbands body is not his own, neither is a wifes body her own, their bodies belong to each other (1 Cor 7:4). Could this be a hint not to masturbate in marriage? I think so. It could certainly mean more, but it should at least mean abstaining from masturbation in a marriage (as long as it isn't encouraged by the spouse). If so, I would think there were quite a few christian couples in the churchs early days who practiced a lifestyle not too far from male chastity (honour system).
Think about it. Imagine they were just as sexual 2000 years ago. Then imagine a christian married man (with a high libido) sitting in the church of Cornith one Sabbath morning (or Sunday, whatever) listening to the latest letter from Paul being read. It has been a few days, and the wife hasn't been overly sexual lately. He already knows he is to "love his wife as his own body", so forcing her to have sex is out of the question. He also knows that his sex drive is way higher than hers. And then he hears it - his body, including his penis and his sexuality, belongs to her and her alone! He imidiately realizes that he has no right to use her penis for his own gratification only. His head is racing: "But what about the fact that I am desperate for sex after a few days only? What about the fact that she according to Tora is not to have sex with me for 1-2 weeks every month?" What if she only wants sex once or twice a month - or less? He feels desperate, vulnerable, helpless... And at least a few of the men I can imagine have to conceal a rock hard boner behind their robe, this morning in church...
I don't think the bible ever calls masturbation a sin. But it is probably a deviation from Gods purpose for marriage. I would never shame someone for masturbating and I don't believe God condems anyone for doing so. But I think it is better (in general) to save ones sexuality for sex with a spouse, and I think it shows extreme dedication and love for one spouse (and for God?). It is a submissive lifestyle, and I believe that more than a few christian (or jewish, islam, etc.) felt quite submissive in their own way, even though they didn't use that word or conceptualized it differently
So what has MC done for me and me wife? It has given us more love, more intimacy, more closeness, more happiness, playfulness and joy, more acceptance (of the disparity in libido and of each others needs and preferences in general). And may I lend the religious vocabulary: male chastity has made our marriage a small taste of heaven; it has helped us closer to Gods ideal for marriage as it is hinted to in the bible. In chastity, I am constantly reminded that I have huge needs that I can never meet myself. I depend on my wife and long for her grace (to give me sexual relief), which is also a reminder of human dependancy on God. I feel helpless and sometimes humbled (MC kind of kills my masculine ego), and it reminds (agape love is a choice and a way of life, not something you do automathically) me to set her first in and outside bed. Both feel more loved, and my wife absolutely loves male chastity (even though she is not dominant naturally), and she wants to do it forever, and don't want me to masturbate ever again. I happily submit to her in and outside the bedroom, and she think it is a beautiful mark of my love and dedication for her.
Honestly, my primary inspiration for becoming a submissive is these and other texts in the bible. I really believe the bible made me submissive! However, I am not a submissive that craves my wife to do certain acts of dress a certain way (for those of you who are - good for you! I respect that a lot, it's just not me). I am simply extremely turned on by the thought of making her happiness the very purpose of my sexuality - to use my sexuaility to please her sexually and non-sexually, not serving my own pleassure, but serving her.
Male chastity can be many different things, and as you said, I don't judge. But I can testify that MC (among other things) for some can be an amazing tool for making a marriage (regardless world view) a taste of heaven. If a sex-toy can help a couple to get closer to Gods purpose for human sexuality, I am sure He would approve! And I honestly believe that him not masturbating and her still remaining totally free to have sex when and how she wants (as well as deciding whether he can orgasm when having sex) would better most or (almost) all marriages.
