Toned down Alternatives to mistress to address my wife/key holder by?

Cagedhuby92

Cagedhuby92

Member
Dec 27, 2022
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Texas
What are some good alternatives to mistress that still insinuate my somewhat vanilla and somewhat new to chastity wife/key holders dominance and control over me. I’m looking for something to address her by that would help reinforce and help her embrace the control she now has that would fall on them more gentle side of fendom.
 
I agree with enslavedbyc - ask her how she wants to be addressed.

For us living a full time FLR I simply speak to my Wife/Mistress key holder respectfully like a normal vanilla marriage. When we are around like minded couples she prefers Mistress. I guess what I am getting at is you two need to figure out how it will work best for both of you in situations.
 
I often make it fun in a “joking” way when I introduce her to people as my jailer or key holding warden. When she’s being especially demanding, and she has a tone, I always respond with, “yes, Mistress”. When I talk with others and she’s not around, I always call her my lady. Outside of that, we have a pretty vanilla outside life where she calls me Bunny or Baby and I call her “Babe” or “Gorgeous”.

Like others said, it’s best to just ask her. But if you’re trying to open her up to the idea, start making it fun in the joking way. Ours came oganically where one random day she demanded I call her Mistress in the bedroom and it just stayed that way. It slowly progressed to more than in the bedroom.
 
Cagedhuby92 said:
What are some good alternatives to mistress that still insinuate my somewhat vanilla and somewhat new to chastity wife/key holders dominance and control over me. I’m looking for something to address her by that would help reinforce and help her embrace the control she now has that would fall on them more gentle side of fendom.
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Miss or Ma'am seem fitting. Ma'am would be how you would refer to a superior female officer in the military so...kinda an obvious femdom aspect there.
 
"Babes"

Usage examples;
  • "Hey babes, fix me a sammich"
  • "Fetch the lube, you're in for a treat, babes"
 
It's not about what you call her. It's more about how you treat her... with honor, respect, appreciation, attentiveness and deference. Asking her opinion instead of telling her something. Complimenting her on everything from her clothes, makeup, hair, nails, etc. Telling her daily something new and different that you appreciate about her. Proactively doing something kind for her that she will appreciate without her asking for it.

I call my wife one of two things: Beautiful and Gorgeous, because that is what she is to me. It reaffirms what she feels based on how I treat her.
 
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littleguy3 said:
It's not about what you call her. It's more about how you treat her... with honor, respect, appreciation, attentiveness and deference. Asking her opinion instead of telling her something. Complimenting her on everything from her clothes, makeup, hair, nails, etc. Telling her daily something new and different that you appreciate about her. Proactively doing something kind for her that she will appreciate without her asking for it.

I call my wife one of two things: Beautiful and Gorgeous, because that is what she is to me. It reaffirms what she feels based on how I treat her.
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I have to say, having read your posts since you started here, you sure have learned a lot in a short period of time.
 
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Mistress dont like me call Her Mistress when we out in the shops and things like that so am allow to call Her name and not say Mistress all the time but i sometimes forget and do.
 
Having been in relationships most of my adult life, I have found that I don’t have the need to call her name often. We are right next to each other and it’s inferred that I’m speaking to her.

Sometimes in texts we use terms of endearment, she calls me gorgeous and I call her beautiful or sweetie. As far as dom sub games, we came up with a name to use although we hardly use it anymore. I’m Italian, so I call her Amante or mistress Amante when we are in a playful mood. It means lover.
 
I love saying “Miss” or “Ma’am” to all women, even to much younger ladies, it’s a sign of my respect and an acknowledgment of their authority over me.
 
Cagedhuby92 said:
What are some good alternatives to mistress that still insinuate my somewhat vanilla and somewhat new to chastity wife/key holders dominance and control over me. I’m looking for something to address her by that would help reinforce and help her embrace the control she now has that would fall on them more gentle side of fendom.
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You can’t go wrong with Head Bitch in Charge.
 
titles like mistress often come with preconceived concepts that might confine you in ways you or your wife may not desire. i always thought a mistress was a women who a married man kept on the side for sexual pleasure. on the kinky side she has a wide range of descriptions yet all have a woman in control of her subject(s). to be free of these defining ideas you might look to goddesses of the past like kali, sekhmet, morrigan, ishtar, medusa to name a few. witches like morganna or glinda. then there are titles like volva, enchantress, maga, temptress, princess, countess. do a little research and you may find one that has special meaning for the both of you . do not worry how others think of the name your choice is not for them.
for my two cents worth, in public we use ma'am for casual addresses or responses and madam when puck believes i might need to reconsider or my attention needs to be redirected which comes with eye contact then a look elsewhere. no one ever seems to be the wiser.
 
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