A New Chapter Unfolds

Back when orgasms were monthly, that rebound only took a couple days. But this is quite different and I expect it will take a bit longer.

He didn't really give a detailed explanation. I had unlocked him for a little teasing, then when I went to lock him back up he asked if it was necessary and maybe we should just stop with chastity. It felt more like a spur of the moment thing, so I proceeded to lock him up anyway and said we could talk about it more later.

If he had made that request a year ago I would have been fine getting rid of the chastity cage. But I really like how things have evolved and I don't want to give up on it yet. Of course if hubby is truly done with chastity, then we'll stop. I'll miss it, but that's ok. I just don't know how hubby truly feels. I suspect he doesn't know either.

 

Chastity was always hubby's kink (though I certainly appreciate the results).

Post orgasm drop was a big problem when we first started full time chastity. It was especially bad when there was only a week or two between orgasms. It was quite a bit better at a month, and pretty much non-existent once I started making him wait three months. A week of complete freedom just brought back that same old problem, perhaps magnified by the huge contrast between that week and the preceding months.

I know it will probably work itself out. But I'm still impatient and wish I could nudge it along.

 

I've already seen a big change in demeanor over the last week, though it may be another week or two until we're in that perfect zone.

I enjoy making hubby cum, but I like the effects of denial even more. So even though limiting hubby's orgasms was never an explicit goal of mine, it has become a cornerstone of our sex life.

I suspect hubby has similar feelings. He struggles against the scarcity of orgasms, and last week it even sounded like he might be ready to quit chastity altogether. But when we talked again today he said he wanted to continue. He politely asked if I'd consider going back to monthly orgasms. I told him I was thinking in the opposite direction... after all of the orgasms he had on our "vacation", he shouldn't need another one until some time next year.

I'm not really sure if I'll follow through with that. Three months was working quite nicely, which would bring us to December. Maybe a nice Christmas surprise. On the other hand, "not until next year" has such a lovely ring to it.

 

So far, it has been an interesting month. We started off with a vacation from chastity: 7 days of hubby being unlocked and having as many orgasms as he wanted. He gorged those first couple days, and though most of the time I was more than happy to help out, a few of those orgasm were by his own hand. But age caught up and he settled into a more reasonable pace. It was wonderful having him inside me after so long. That's probably the single biggest thing I miss with chastity, though the rewards far outweigh the costs.

As the week drew to a close, hubby was reluctant to return to chastity. But I remained firm and locked him in the chastity cage. Things felt really off after that. He wasn't as enthusiastic as normal while pleasuring me, so I left him locked without any teasing at all. I had hoped that my strictness would bring out his submissive side, but it didn't click. Instead, it seemed like any sexual impulses were just shut down. Of course that could have also been because he was still recovering from the previous week.

The third night went a little better and I unlocked him for a bit of teasing afterwards. However, when I told him it was time to lock back up, he asked if we could go back to our older routine of the honor system and weekly orgasms, perhaps only using the chastity cage for special occasions. A year ago I might have jumped at the suggestion, but now I've seen just how wonderful it can be when hubby is kept constantly horny for months on end. I didn't want to force him into something he hated, but I hoped a little time would help him change his mind. So I insisted on locking him up and promised we'd discuss it in a few days.

The next couple days were bumpy. I think the core problem is that hubby isn't generally a submissive person. He's only really submissive towards me, and only when I assert control. But I need his submissiveness to bring out my dominant streak. Once we're both in the right place everything flows very naturally, but it's hard to get started. I felt we were both just going through the motions.

By the time we hit the one week mark, it was starting to feel a little better. Nowhere near that zone of perpetual horniness, but at least heading in the right direction. We had a long talk about everything that had changed since we started full time chastity. He confirmed that on the whole he enjoyed it, and he definitely wanted to continue being locked. But the vacation week made him realize how much he had missed orgasms. He asked if we could try a few weeks or maybe a month between orgasms. Honestly, a month would have been a perfectly acceptable compromise. But I was also getting the sense that deep down part of him wanted me to say "no", that he needed to be pushed a little. So I reminded him that three months had been working very well for us and I saw no reason to risk anything shorter. In fact, counting the orgasms he had on "vacation", I've been overly generous this year and he shouldn't expect anything more until at least January. He didn't say anything, but from the look in his eyes I knew he was hooked.

We had crossed an important milestone...hubby had been given a week of complete freedom, and then willingly returned to full time chastity. It felt good having that discussion behind us. So good, that I decided to do something a little special for hubby that night, and I pegged him. It was a little awkward at first. Partly because it had been a while and I was out of practice. But also partly because hubby doesn't really enjoy anything anal until he's pretty deep into the submissive zone. Despite our earlier conversation, he just wasn't there yet, so it was a bumpy start.

We were in the missionary position, which isn't the best angle for him, but I love seeing his face. There's also something magical about seeing his caged cock bounce around as I thrust into him. I started to get pretty verbal, telling him this was the only way we'd fuck for the rest of the year, and something just clicked. One moment he was lying there almost passively, and the next he was moaning an begging me to go deeper. I continued as long as I could, but my muscles just aren't used to it. Eventually, I collapsed on top of him and we just held one another. It was wonderful.

Today, I noticed some changes. Nothing big, just lots of little things. A gesture here or there, a lingering caress, the way he watched me as I got dressed in the morning. It feels like we're finally back home.

 

Actually, I think it was more about orgasms than the honor system. If I had countered with the cage and weekly orgasms, I'm sure he would have jumped at it.

On the flip side, I think we both understand that the honor system has its limits and trying for something like a month or longer without the cage is fraught with difficulty.

 

Nothing is perfect, but the honor system worked for us for well over a decade. Hubby had sufficient self control to wait a week or two. He succumbed to temptation a few times over the years, but learned quite early that it was much better to confess than try to hide it. We play frequently, and I know his body too well for that to work.

I also think we both understand his limits. If I tried to make him wait a month on the honor system, it's likely he'd fail. Neither of us want that. We both agree that the chastity cage is essential for those longer stretches of orgasm denial.

Since we started full time chastity 18 months ago, the only real debate has been about how often he gets an orgasm. I've seen how wonderful things can be if I make him wait a few months, and it would take a lot to convince me to back down. Part of him agrees with me - he loves it too. But part of him still craves that orgasm and doesn't like waiting so long.

 

I think we're in pretty good shape. We communicate more now than before, and there's far more intimacy and closeness. That's been a huge benefit of chastity, and something that both hubby and I appreciate. There have been a few bumps along the way, and he knows he can always tell me if he feels ignored or disconnected. I don't think this was one of those times.

Honestly, this is just a conflict hubby has with himself. He wants to be controlled, and enjoys the heightened pleasure that comes with orgasm denial. But he also wants those orgasms. There's an ebb and flow to this internal battle, and I think we just hit a moment when the "more orgasms" side was winning. It also wasn't unexpected... that was the whole reason I initially pushed for longer waits between orgasms.

 

I've been thinking about how to make Locktober special. Locktober can mean a lot of different things. For those just starting with chastity, wearing the cage for an entire month, regardless of the number of unlocks and orgasms allowed, can be a big challenge. For more seasoned participants, perhaps it is the first time they go an entire month without an orgasm. That was certainly the case for hubby and I several years ago, and it led to a most memorable Locktober. But these days, a month locked with no orgasms is just a regular month. Too little for Locktober.

Last year I practiced what I called "strict lockup": only unlocking for occasional hygiene, nothing else. No stroking or edging, an entire month without erections. I'm sure there are others who would find that ordinary as well for no matter where you are, there will always be someone more vanilla and someone more extreme. However, strict lockup felt like a chore. Hubby went the distance, but it wasn't fun for either of us. Too much for Locktober.

So this year I'm trying something in the middle. Hopefully it will be our Goldilocks of Locktobers: just right. Typically, I unlock hubby several times a week for a little play time. For Locktober, he'll be limited to once per week. Each weekend I'll unlock hubby for a quick edge or two, just enough to remind him of what he's missing. Or if I'm feeling generous, I might play with him longer. Regardless, once I've had my fun, he'll go back in the cage for another week.

A full orgasm is completely out of the question during Locktober. December is the absolute earliest I'd consider letting him have one, and I'm leaning more towards waiting until next year.

There's a lot more flexibility with ruined orgasms. I usually let him have one every three weeks or so. That would have meant one right now at the end of the month. However, I don't think he's quite at the right level of desperation yet. Our little "vacation" disrupted everything and we're still getting back on track. I think he needs to simmer for another week or two, which puts us into Locktober. A few different plans spring to mind.

Once he's ready, I could let him have a ruined orgasm during one of those weekend play times. That's close to what we'd do without Locktober, and is perhaps too easy. Another option is to make him wait until November for any ruined orgasm. Maybe that would be ok, maybe not. The thing is, ruined orgasms serve a very practical purpose: they relieve just enough pressure to keep hubby in that perfect zone or perpetual horniness. I don't really want to take that away for almost 2 months.

Once again I'm contemplating something in the middle: a ruined orgasm while hubby remains locked. I'm not exactly sure how that would work. I can't recall ever making hubby cum in his cage. I assume it is possible with the right stimulation, but it's not an area we have explored. I'm also not really sure how to get the timing right for a ruined orgasm. I'll probably give it a try, but if it is just not happening then I'll go with one of the other plans.