I'm in my 40's, from Texas, and stumbled upon the whole chastity thing more by accident originally. Never been much into kink and all of that, but used to be pretty heavy into masturbation, and that became a problem when it was time to perform. My wife and I live a pretty busy life, both pretty active, healthy sex life, she wanted it more than me, honestly. Long story short, I started reading up on it, and ordered 2 cages, one was garbage, the other has been great once I worked around the issues with it, and have been using it since June. I didn't hide anything from her, I told her what I bought, and the reasoning behind it..I'll toss it on, give you the keys, and I can't jerk off, and whenever you're ready for sex, simply unlock it..was about as laymen as I could have explained it lol. She was a little hesitant, naturally, finally I had her read the secret to a happy marriage, and things started clicking on her end. So, for the most part for the past few months, I've been locked 24/7, outside of a trip we took, we still have plenty of sex, and the performance, and power of the orgasm has made her a believer I think. I've made a comment a few times about "we can forget this whole thing, and go back to how it was before", and she'll shut that down pretty quickly. Anyways, not into humiliation, feminization, flr, or any of that other stuff..she married a manly man, and that's what she wants to keep. It is pretty interesting, how I thought it was bs at first, but I did find myself being way more patient with her in day to day life, and little things like cuddling or carressing her body seem way more thrilling to me than I thought they would be. Lifer in this? Who knows..I know she has no desire to lock me up and keep me like that, or deny me sex permanently, like some people want..so for that group of folks, any posts I make won't be exciting, but on a basic level, it has brought my excitement to being around her in non-sexual ways to a level like wgen we were young and dating..odd how that works.
Welcome @JustHere and good to hear how it’s working for you and your wife. CM is a very broad church with a wide variety of kinks, and none. I’m sure you’ll find much to interest you here. There’s a very useful search facility too.
Being feminized, cucked, or permanently locked would be my version of hell honestly so not everyone here is into the more extreme side of things. I've noticed too I'm far more patient, helpful, and affectionate with her so I think there's a broad spectrum of men here doing it for varying reasons.
You'll become more submissive if you do it properly to her rules. Chastity is taking something away from both of you, you may find she wants to replace that big thing with some other things you previously wouldn't have tried.
So how frequently does she like to unlock you for play time? What was the longest you remained locked with no release for "play" and what was your frustration level at that point?
I'm usually unlocked on the weekends, but not every weekend. I've been on TRT, so at first when I started this journey, it wasn't that bad..I did 3 weeks right off the bat, and was unlocked for a getaway we had planned. We had sex that morning before we left, and as I figured, it was over pretty quick. We drove to our destination, and later that night she wanted it again. She came 3 times pretty hard, pretty fast before I came. She always cums from sex with me, but I think with the hardness of my penis, and the fact it was hitting all the right spots pretty intensely, she wasn't expecting that. We had sex several more times with the same result. Now, with my T levels as high as they are, I'm pretty much dying afyer about a week . She's figured out that the first time after being unlocked is going to finish fast, and after that, it's much longer. We had sex this past weekend, and actually I suprised myself by being able to hold off until she came, and we did it 3 times that day. She's a smart woman, and a fast learner, she's caught onto the correlation between everything. At first she thought I was trying to lock it away from her, but she caught on. She's post menopausal, but even after she went through that, her sex drive never dropped. She wants to hop on me everytime I'm around still, but she has figured out that this way, although sex isn't as often, the quality of it has been way better. She doesn't want to deny me orgasms, she likes me finishing, and I'd try to press her into denying me, to try it out, she did let me come crawling into bed a few times, and I'd snuggle up with her, thinking I'll get some groping, maybe eat ger out, and I'd be good, but she told me no, and rolled over. I'm fine with that, cause that just keeps the high going. I WILL say..that since I've been on testosterone, that after a big raunchy orgasm, I'm pretty much ready to go again..no big drop and lack of sex drive for a week or so like before. So, moving forward with this, even if I do cum, and get locked back up, it's probably just as frustrating, if not more so..than having an orgasm ruined, or being denied the ability to orgasm. Time will tell where this leads. In response to @M@rcellus, she might. However, I doubt it. I've bought a strapon, with the thought process of..during the initial locking, if she still wanted sex, we could try it like that, she did cum, but did not like it. She prefers the real thing, felt the strapon was more or less "going through the motions" to achieve an orgasm...she likes the whole skin on skin, intimate touching of direct contact. She also has zero interest in playing with my ass, or pegging me..thankfully, as that's not anything I am interested in. I did throw out the offer to let her put her fingers in a couple of years ago, she didn't want to. I'm 100% fine with that.
That sounds fair enough like you're both on the same page. Initially wondered maybe if you had too many red lines based on self-image if you like that may have closed off some experiences for you both. I was getting at you can be anybody you want to be in private with someone you trust if it leads to new pleasures. You'll get more submissive and she'll start looking at that strapon in a different way and you'll think, "marcellus was right".