The Wife Has Turned

And I've discovered that I have no problems licking up after a ruined orgasm, and in fact enjoy it quite a bit. But not after a full orgasm. Then I find it repulsive. It's funny how I feel so different in the two different situations.
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THAT is the whole chemistry of why chastity denial works.

Your non orgasmic state is high in the 'happy hormones', Serotonin, Oxytocin and Dopamine.
When a male orgasms with a climax, the levels of those hormones are drastically reduced and replaced by others, which cause you to go off sex and have a "downer". It can take hours, days or even a couple of weeks to gradually return to the previous "happy high".

This is result of our evolution.
Males are more likely to ensure the survival of their genes to future generations if they have multiple partners. So, once you've impregnated a female and have had that happy experience of an orgasm, it's time to move on to another female to increase your chances. If she was fertile and you've given her your sperm, there's nothing more for you to do. Losing your happy hormones for a short period makes it easier for you to move on and keep spreading your genes.

In the modern context, not having a full orgasm maintains your happy hormones, which make you more likely to stay with and be devoted to your partner. Because you don't go off sex she's also much more likely to have multiple orgasms, just having one orgasm every time she wants sex can be sufficient benefit.
You are happier for longer periods of time because you don't lose your happy hormones, and she's happy because you stay attentive to her for longer periods of time.
Win-win for both of you all as a result of avoiding that male hormone disruptive full orgasm.
 
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Okay, thread revived.

so I wrote a note on two sticky pads to my wife. I said that Locktober and NOvember are coming up, should we do one? I asked her to circle Y or N.

then I said, if yes, which one?

After the kids went down for their nap, I found her in the shower and said what do you think? She said fuck yes.

I said, which month?

she said, now. October is too far away.

so, to be frank, I’m nervous. Excited but nervous. For real, like, I think I want this. I fantasize about getting my dick pierced, locking it in, and just being totally screwed (as in my wife having complete control… and getting ass fucked by her ).

I kinda feel like this might be the real deal now. We’ve played. I’ve had to lock up. She has told me in the past to lock up, but she’s been a pushover for sure.

I don’t know. Will be interesting to see what happens.
 
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Congratulations. Hope you guys have a fun journey together.

I have to say when I first read the headline I was like "the wife has turned.... To what the dark side of the force?!" Lol sorry my first thought was of star wars
 
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Steve Rogers said:
... so I wrote a note on two sticky pads to my wife. I said that Locktober and NOvember are coming up, should we do one? I asked her to circle Y or N.

then I said, if yes, which one?

After the kids went down for their nap, I found her in the shower and said what do you think? She said fuck yes.

I said, which month?

she said, now. October is too far away.
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That sounds like you have a session of at least three months starting ...
Well, you did ask for it!

so, to be frank, I’m nervous. Excited but nervous. For real, like, I think I want this. I fantasize about getting my dick pierced, locking it in, and just being totally screwed (as in my wife having complete control… and getting ass fucked by her ).

I kinda feel like this might be the real deal now. We’ve played. I’ve had to lock up. She has told me in the past to lock up, but she’s been a pushover for sure.

I don’t know. Will be interesting to see what happens.
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I too have those fantasies. They're more desires, needs even. The thing is, you usually can't rush your partner when it comes to kink that you've been dreaming about for a lifetime before they were even aware of it existing as a thing. My wife and I have been doing male chastity for a decade, every year we get deeper into it, and she's eagerly doing things that I wouldn't even have dared try to discuss with her when we started, and that was after a relatively vanilla first decade together. It can't be rushed - I've had a set of three butt plugs hidden under the bed, waiting for the opportunity to introduce them... for three months!

We're now at the stage that me being locked up is my "normal". It feels strange and uncomfortable now if I'm unlocked for more than a day, and I can tell that she similarly breathes a sigh of relief and is much more content when I'm caged again.
It's never the complete "real deal" though. That's good, not bad, as even when you think you've got there, there's always another direction to explore!
 
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I get what you're saying and I think wives are a bit on a different wavelength. My wife tends to humor me, but not be 100% behind some of my suggestions. I'm a bit surprised, but she seems to be behind the chastity idea. For a few reasons I think. 1) I say it will not impact me having sex with her. 2) I wrote an agreement that put a lot of things on the table. Things she wanted (like more help in what she does outside the house, more chores, more affection, no fighting, total service). 3) I confessed to some weaknesses (like masturbation and porn). I committed to not doing any of that while in chastity.

She mentioned that she felt like I was trying to persuade her. In that she was correct and I told her so. I told her, actually I wasn't trying to persuade her. Rather it was more. I was pleading with her. I really want to experience my life in complete service to her. Chastity will keep me focused on her needs. Not masturbating (it was almost every day if we weren't fooling around), would keep me on edge and also focused only on her. I apologized for pleading but I just laid it all out for her. Don't get me wrong, I'm not weak or submissive so me saying I was pleading carried some weight.

Other than laying out my thoughts, I also agreed that I wouldn't pester her. It's completely up to her. There were some basic things that defined the experience to me and were important. 24x7 chastity with release for cleaning and having sex with her. Otherwise, locked. Minimum 3 months but she agreed to 6.

I cleaned the bathroom this weekend. I mean real clean. Top to bottom, even waxed the cabinets. Bought a nice plant, organized her cabinet, replaced a light in the closet. She tried to thank me, I told her not to. I thanked her for allowing me to serve her. I think she woke up to it then. This chastity thing has some big perks for her and will definitely bring us closer together.

So my suggestion for the two of you (although you know what's best for your relationship): Be honest with her. Do make it about her but admit to what you want. And don't hesitate. Also, don't go the day on/day off way. It's not the same thing. All that is is a little kinky game that you use as foreplay. It's all or nothing (all allowing for her needs though). See how that goes.
 
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Update:

I decided that if I really wanted this lifestyle, then I should just lock up every day.

so starting Jan 1, 2024, I did.

my wife didn’t realize at first.

then she did.

then she realized it was consistent.

that lasted about two weeks.

I stopped. And the funny thing is we had a really bad two weeks of fighting after and she even brought up that I wasn’t locking up any more.

we got over that rough patch and I’ve been locking up every day since.

now my wife is telling me to lock up.

We have sex and she uses her vibrator while we fuck. And once she cums, she says that’s it and for me to stop and go lock up.

this morning she wanted to cum and watch me jerk off. She came and then told me to stop and go lock up.

she also has become very aware that if I don’t cum and I’m locked im more inclined to be helpful and all over her.

feels like we’ve reached a point of no return. Granted if I stopped locking up, she would definitely comment on it, but I don’t think she would force me to go lock up. But I do think it would lead to a fight. I think subconsciously she is happier when I’m locked.
 
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I think once they get a taste, it's hard to stop even if they sort of want it. My wife wants sex and wants me to cum. But then again, she has seen what locking up and not cumming does. She's kind of stuck, a little confused, She doesn't understand why I would give something like that up for her. She feels guilty wanting me to give it up yet I think she does. Anyway, good luck, congrats? I suppose. Although is it really something to congratulate someone on. It does reach a point of no return. Once you step over the line, that's it. Enjoy, and thanks for the update.
 
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Wow… I actually have another update for you all!

So I take the cage off at night before bed. I have done the night shifts but the erections are brutal and with two young kids I need my damn sleep, LOL.

Early morning yesterday, before the kids were up, I started feeling up the wife. She said I can stick it in for a bit, and I didn’t hesitate.

After a minute or two, our two year old started making noises on the monitor. He was getting up.

I said “hold on I’m going to cum.” She didn’t stop me.

About mid day she grabbed my crotch and found that I wasn’t locked up. I said, well, yeah. We fucked this morning.

She said she didn’t like that at all and she won’t let that happen again.

Today I didn’t lock up either. She noticed and said this is not how things are going to go. “This isn’t what I want,” she said.

“what do you want?”

“If you’re ever going to cum again, you lock up immediately after.”

Roger that.
 
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Okay, another little update:

so last night was shower night for the kids. We do it every other day unless they have an event or activity.

I unlock nightly anyways. Those nocturnal erections are brutal.

In between the time we got them dressed and bedtime, my wife breezed by and grabbed my crotched and said, “oh, why aren’t you locked up?”

I said I always take it off at night. She seemed disappointed.

I think today or at some point soon we’re going to have a talk about wearing it at night as well. I’ll have to switch to a bigger ring which is fine since I take it off anyway for showers, but wow… like, this is it then. She wants it on 24/7 it seems.

This morning, too, I didn’t have enough time to put the cage on before I had to jump on a zoom at 6am. When I got in she check again. So she’s definitely thinking about it.

Im locked now, so she’ll be happy when she gets home from the gym.
 
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It took my wife some time as well. But now she really loves it. I must be caged all the time. If not she does get upset. Mind you... health comes first though. She knows that if there is any issues I must take it off and deal with any problem related to it. But after I MUST lock up again. Nice to hear your wife is embracing it all. You created a monster. But it is so worth it.
 
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So here is where things stand:

The wife wants me locked every day. She now prefers it that way. It turns her on.

I'll leave it at that.

Not sure where this goes from here. She very much understands that if I cum I lose interest for a couple days. So she is very hesitant now on allowing me to finish. She says that if I do cum, it needs to go back on immediately after.

That's where we're at.
 
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Been a minute.

So being locked is a normal thing for us. It happens when I start it, unfortunately, but I could do it every day and that would be it.

The big hurdle is we have two young kids, and we (I) shower them. So I unlock every night. Then it’s up to me to lock up in the AM.

I get up early for work. So I don’t have much time to lock up. So I go through periods where I do, and periods when I don’t.

It being summer, our kids play in the pool a lot. We shower them after, and I have been able to shower them while clothed (since we usually do this before their naps and I still have work to do after). We have a large shower with multiple shower heads so I can dodge the water easily and not get wet.

This has made me realize I could shower them this way at night, and not have to unlock. So then I would sleep locked (dreading that).

I just wrote my wife a note outlining all of this. And illustrating the fact that we could do this for real and be locked 24/7. I’ll let you know what she says.
 
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Steve Rogers said:
Update:

I decided that if I really wanted this lifestyle, then I should just lock up every day.

so starting Jan 1, 2024, I did.

my wife didn’t realize at first.

then she did.

then she realized it was consistent.

that lasted about two weeks.

I stopped. And the funny thing is we had a really bad two weeks of fighting after and she even brought up that I wasn’t locking up any more.

we got over that rough patch and I’ve been locking up every day since.

now my wife is telling me to lock up.

We have sex and she uses her vibrator while we fuck. And once she cums, she says that’s it and for me to stop and go lock up.

this morning she wanted to cum and watch me jerk off. She came and then told me to stop and go lock up.

she also has become very aware that if I don’t cum and I’m locked im more inclined to be helpful and all over her.

feels like we’ve reached a point of no return. Granted if I stopped locking up, she would definitely comment on it, but I don’t think she would force me to go lock up. But I do think it would lead to a fight. I think subconsciously she is happier when I’m locked.
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Hell if you tell Her now that you are unlocked, She may very well tell you to go put it on! Congrats!
 
Here’s where we’re at:

Been locked since last post.

She has come 4 times, me zero. She is holding her ground now. She does not want me to cum. I have either gone down on her or fingered her while she used her vibrator.

Tonight I alternated between fucking her and eating her. About three times back and forth until she said don’t stop eating my pussy.

After she came she said we were done. I begged a bit and she said no.

Earlier today she said she doesn’t need PIV sex if it means losing her slave.

I unlock for bed so I can sleep but lock up first thing in the morning.
 
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Steve Rogers said:
Here’s where we’re at:

Been locked since last post.

She has come 4 times, me zero. She is holding her ground now. She does not want me to cum. I have either gone down on her or fingered her while she used her vibrator.

Tonight I alternated between fucking her and eating her. About three times back and forth until she said don’t stop eating my pussy.

After she came she said we were done. I begged a bit and she said no.

Earlier today she said she doesn’t need PIV sex if it means losing her slave.

I unlock for bed so I can sleep but lock up first thing in the morning.
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I think we call that living the dream . I'd love to be teased in that way , to be so close but so far must be quite a turn on .
 
I have to fly tomorrow.

My wife is absolutely pissed that I won’t wear the cage through security.

She said that she wants me to put it on immediately after going through security and to send a picture.

She said next time we fly together that I’ll be wearing it through TSA and she “doesn’t give a fuck if you’re strip searched.”

Honestly, pretty crazy reaction considering we just had the talk of this now being a lifestyle.
 
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Steve Rogers said:
I have to fly tomorrow.

My wife is absolutely pissed that I won’t wear the cage through security.

She said that she wants me to put it on immediately after going through security and to send a picture.

She said next time we fly together that I’ll be wearing it through TSA and she “doesn’t give a fuck if you’re strip searched.”

Honestly, pretty crazy reaction considering we just had the talk of this now being a lifestyle.
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Holy crap...lol
 
That's what I'm saying though ....

There are times guys who wanna ditch the cage and end up taking it off, first off...it usually isn't without some unpleasant experience..


And then the reports of constant unrest from the Wife and bickering until lo and behold, the cage goes back on.

#ItBeeesThatWay
 
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Steve Rogers said:
I know the next conversation will be about sleeping with it on.

That’s coming.

And that’s going to be a major pain.
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You don't sleep with it on correct?

I don't mind the morning erection attempts, myself
 
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