Boundaries

If I had set boundaries we never would have come this far. When we set out on our FLR and discussed what our limits were, I agreed that what got us to that point had been beyond my old boundaries, so I trusted her to decide what we would explore. I haven't regretted it.

 

Mistress has set that there will never be any women’s clothing, no scat, or urine play. She will never cuck me as she is pleased in how I am able to keep her satisfied. I am never to ask for release unless there is pain. She is fully in charge of the release and of my pleasure. I have a strap to keep Mistress happy as my lil guy can’t please her well enough anymore. I am never aloud any clothes on the property unless given permission. As soon as I arrive from work and get out of the truck I am to immediately strip all clothes off. Never to enter the house with clothes on. That is an immediate punishment. All else that I can think of is still pretty much open and is discussed beforehand.

 

Using a garlic press is a hard no for me. I mean for pressing garlic. So fiddly to clean, and why not just smash it with a spatula?
Probably wouldn’t want to use one in a sexual context either come to think of it. Again, too much mess.

 

Hard boiled egg slicer?

 

Tbh I’m not over enthusiastic on many kitchen implements with narrow utility. A few good knives, spatulas and a decent skillet. Funnels and a strainer. Not much else needed.

 

That sounds like a challege.

So, she will control you getting excited by the vibrations while riding a bus?

Or when doing the laundry and holding your junk against the machine?

Or when using the bread mixer?

Or any electrical tool?

Or a toothbrush?

Or powershower?

Or your imagination?

Maybe you are just an NPC and incapable of independent thought and completely lack the imagination to see ways around your wife's silly aims of *cough* control *cough".

Let's remember, guys, the power given is no power at all.

 

With gusto!

 

That's pretty much our sex toy bag right there.

 

She controls my physical experience. That means I don't allow things in my environment to physically stimulate me. I don't use a toothbrush to vibrate my cage, unless she orders me to do so. Likewise other sources of physical, sexual sensation.

I'm free to think about all of the kink I want. But that's confined inside my head without an outlet.
I have all the imagination, but my base need is submission. My submission is freely given. It is the gift of power.

There are plenty of things she could order me to do/experience that I would not enjoy, but I'll do them willingly, as following her orders even for specific acts that I dislike, tests and challenges my commitment to fully submit my entire sexual existence to her control.

It's very hard for me to not make requests and suggestions during our sexual experiences, whether it's something I feel could enhance her enjoyment, or my own, I have to refrain as I have to avoid even the slightest hint of topping from the bottom.

Even subtle suggestions can create some pressure on her to engage, perform or allow things to happen that she wouldn't have otherwise wanted. When that happens, she loses confidence that she really can make it all about her with fear of guilt or consequence.

My submission accepts having to do things I don't want to do. It feels the most real when that happens. I don't always want to things that she demands, but if she says that's what she wants, I'll undertake them with full enthusiasm.

Everything legal, safe, sane and non career threatening is on the table, except for poo. Safewords exist and that does mean I can withdraw my consent at will.

From that perspective I accept my submission isn't absolute. Most of the BDSM community have accepted that safe, sane and consensual is the recommended mantra for power exchange dynamics.

Absolute submission with no ability to withdraw consent is a dangerous fantasy that can engender abuse, danger and harm.

I'll keep my one hard limit and the ability to remove my consent at will, and continue to enjoy the fulfillment that my submission to her brings for the both of us. You do you, we'll do us.

 

You've more patience over keyboard warriors than I. Good insight and far more interesting than the verbal graffiti.

 

But I think everyone already understands that it’s a game - one that requires the suspension of disbelief. Aren’t you being a bit like someone who spoils everyone’s immersion in a movie by shouting out that it’s “just” a movie?

 

Agree. My openness to nearly anything is supported because I've considered nearly everything and very little repulsed me, at least conceptually. Actually experiencing some untested activities might conceivably lead to me adding to a future hard limit list

For example, I've never had a sexual experience with another man, but the concept doesn't turn me off, especially if it was at her instruction. It's unlikely I'll ever find out, but after one experience, I might feel that I couldn't consent to a similar event again.

Under all of our relationship, and mostly unspoken, is trust and respect. I gave my submission to her and only her. It could only exist within the established and time tested security of our 30 year partnership.

Mostly, she doesn't choose to have me do things I don't want to do or even do much that is particularly kinky. The satisfaction for both of us is that I don't get a say in our sexual activity.

Things I don't want to do - most commonly, not any specific activity, but a demand for something when I'm not in the mood, or feel tired. That's when my submission overpowers my reluctance.

 

Yes you’re right, there are - but has it not occurred to you that for those people, making those statements here (and perhaps even repeating them in their own heads like a sort of kinky mantra!) is itself part of the game?

 

I do see your point but I can empathise with them since I myself have always yearned for a non-consensual dynamic. It’s a paradox at the heart of the kink that we want not to want what we do want but get it anyway.

 

Slap Chop?

 

No boundaries, but that's mainly because my wife isn't kinky enough to exceed whatever my boundaries would be. If she were kinky, I'd probably have boundaries.

 

That's where I am...

 

Pretty much no boundaries, my mistress is a sadist and likes me not having orgasms just to punish one male in the world to feed her sadism so permanent chastity is only held back by her curiosity about piv every few months which is just that, not a necessity at all. Cross dressing and bringing another male in, I don't need to worry about being boundaries as these are clearly dangerous sexual orientation issues that can destroy intimacy between a male/ female couple.

 

Yes for me, for us, yes we're both on the same page. Live and let live.

 

I like to be submissive for the occasion but in control of everything else. We use to role play about others in our bed but never took the time to make it happen. Pain is great but never harm. Scat is out for both of us. I have never sucked dick during our marriage. But I have been with a man who tried to take my virginity (did not get in before he blew his load). We tried pegging. I loved it. She did not. I liked crossdressing growing up but wife is not a fan. So the best I can do is make her buy my panties (I pick them she has to buy them). Sex for her seem to be over. Just deciding if I get a cuckcake or just perm lock.

 

After being together for 20 plus years in a bdsm relationship both our boundaries have been pushed and broken through over the years, but the ones that have remained as a hard hard no to both of us is no scat and no animals.
We have both come to discover things that we first dismissed actually quite pleasurable or fun, and that it turn leads on to trying something else and something more ect.
boundaries were a big thing for my Madam as she enjoys the psychological side of bdsm just as much as the physical. So when I said no to something Madam wanted to do it to me more, to make me to it to prove I was willing to endure it as a show of my devotion and loyalty to her, to prove I wanted to be hers.