LONG POST AHEAD
She and I spoke last night. I had worked out my taking points but when I told her I was ready, she went first so she could apologize and that threw me off a bit.
Among other things, she said she didn't support me enough when I was having a hard time, understimated the impact of any changes (even if they were favorable to me), and acknowledged we haven't done any of our exercises in awhile because of how well the last three months went and suggested we resume them. She said those months were perfect and she took for granted that she still needed to be very sensitive to the whole thing.
I acknowledged I slipped into some old bad habits and should have trusted her more. I told her I still like using this forum to sort things out sometimes, but that I'll do a better job of filtering out things that cause rifts in our relationship. I asked her again to consider joining and she said she would take another look through the site but no promises.
I also told her that I don't feel "forced" into chastity. I know it's something she prefers and I WANT to make that happen for her, but it is a big ask and is hard on me sometimes and I can't always do it the way she wants me to, and I feel bad when I can't because I don't want to disappoint her. But I'm committed to do my best to give her what I can, I want to do that for her, I hate failing at it, and (although it's hard to admit) I need more help from her.
So that's how that went. We are in a good place and are working together on moving forward.
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I'd like to say this to the group.
I've done a poor job of explaining my situation. I don't blame anyone for their negative opinion of my wife. She is truly wonderful. Outside of chastity, it's a really great relationship. She dotes on me constantly, goes out of her way to prioritize me, is kind and loving and supportive in every way. She was like this before chastity and has only gotten more so after chastity.
I've done a poor job of explaining my dislike of chastity. I tend to post here when I'm struggling, but not when I'm doing well with it, leaving to a biased view. The last three months, for example, went very well and I seldom posted anything about it.
I barely care about the cage outside of the bedroom. It ranges from an occasional nuisance to me not even noticing it's on. I'm not 15 anymore and don't get erections every 10 minutes. I also don't fetishize the situation by getting horny every time my cage bumps into something. Most days, there isn't even an attempted erection during the day. Wearing it outside of the bedroom is not a huge compromise for me and I rarely bother with it. And even when I do, it's just for a quick adjustment.
Inside of the bedroom is very different for us. We are still regularly intimate, and I'm grateful for that. But I don't have any right to demand PIV, O's. or any other form of contact from her. And for whatever reason, she is now signoficantly less inclined to fulfill that desire. Okay, that sucks, but it's a much better situation than those sexless marriages you hear about.
She, on the other hand, is sexy as hell and fun to interact with, and limitations aside, I have a great time with that part of our activities. As for her, I know she would prefer additional chastity related play with me, but I don't like the long edging sessions and other types of teasing and dialogue that make things mentally and physically harder on me in the long run. So she compromised too and gives me that autonomy and respect by holding off.
As far as compromise, we are both doing it. And although I know I'm doing more for her in the bedroom, she does more for me outside of the bedroom. And our relationship is very strong.
But the part that I'm trying to work on happens to be with her desire for chastity, and it's really hard sometimes and that's why I'm here. And why she tries to support me through it, and why I go through these exercises and make these posts.
