An ongoing experience of chastity and love

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Lockedwithlove, Apr 4, 2016.

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  1. Lockedwithlove
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    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

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    eBay has a good collection at very reasonable prices especially if you just want to test a metal device out without spending custom money. The device I'm currently in which replaced my HTv2 was $32 and it fit better than my HTv2. The one I just bought was only $20 but it looks really solid and they claim it to be 304 stainless steel so I figured why not try it. the only I would stay away from are the devices that have a hinge on the cock ring, those look like an accident waiting to happen, less moving parts is generally better.
     
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  2. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Mine was only 20 bucks so wasn't too upset at the money but was hoping it was going to really reduce everything
     
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  3. Lockedwithlove
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    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

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    As I logged into chastity mansion my mistress looked over at me (we were laying in bed together) and asked me if I was about to blog our latest play time. I looked back and asked her if she really wanted me too because it's downright delightfully dirty. She said "oh yes, it was so hot I want people to read this". I smiled and got turned on by my wife being excited to re read and want other to know about our sexcapades. I wasn't sure exactly how much my mistress really enjoyed my postings about what we do in our bedroom on here even though none of you actually know who we are. As it turns out she really loves my posts about us.

    My queen, as promised said she just needed a little time to slowly gain the confidence and courage to become the mistress of my desires. Mistress has enjoyed whipping me and spanking me more lately, she even mentioned she might be into wearing those black vinyl dresses that I loved seeing her in back when I used to annoyingly and constantly ask her to where them for me. Now that she's in charge she's knows how much it would torture me seeing her in those naughty black vinyl dresses I bought for her. It's that much more torturous that I'd get to see her wearing them while my cock is straining to get out and be played with by my vinyl clad mistress wielding her riding crop.

    Friday night my mistress and I lie in bed finishing up an episode of Game of Thrones, our new favorite. I was unsuspecting when my mistress turned to me and grabbed me, placing my hand over her bald pussy. We started kissing and groping heavily while my cock started growing in its cage. I lowered my hand into her panties and started toying with mistress's clit until she soaked her panties. I felt like an animal, her pussy felt so wet and soft all I wanted was to be inside of her. Since I couldn't use my cock I started slipping my fingers into her, biting her ear and neck as she moaned and quivered. I'm not sure what enticed me to do so but I wanted to stick my fist in her pussy, I wanted to fist fuck her and make my mistress cum like she never had before. I started gently with just a few fingers first, going in and out nice and slow making sure she was wet enough to handle it. I got between her legs and pulled her panties all the way off. I thought to myself the best way to her mistress incredibly wet was to eat my favorite dessert...her... I went down on her, she was already quite loose and wet, I buried my face between her legs and started licking. She told me to use my fingers again so I obeyed. I licked and gently started easing my fingers in, 1 then two then three then four and then ever so gently I pushed all five fingers in. I slowly fucked her with my hand edging in just a little further each time I pushed back in. I was dripping in my device, this was so incredibly hot I could hardly believe it was happening, I wanted my whole fist inside.

    I gently but firmly pushed my fist in, just a little bit further to go, mistress was so aroused by this and told me to lick her while I was trying push all the way in. I licked mistress making her that much more wet, spitting on my hand slowly, slowly going deeper. Finally it was just to much to handle for her, the pressure was to much and mistress told me lie next to her and rub her clit. My head was buzzing as I got into a spooning position with my mistress, I had maybe an inch to go before my entire fist would have been in. I reached over mistress and started rubbing her pussy vigorously. I wrapped my other arm around her and held her tight, feeling her body vibrate as she neared orgasm. Next thing I heard was "oh, oh, oh god don't stop, don't stop" I started rubbing faster and she just shook and came in my arms. Her orgasms kept coming, wave after wave and she ordered me to keep going and not to stop. Mistress came for what seemed like 10 minutes straight before it was to much to handle.

    I stopped rubbing, pulling my hand back, still holding her right with my other. I was so sexually charged and wanted my queen in the worst way. A lot of times when my queen leaves me locked while we play I always hope she just keeps me locked afterwards and doesn't let me cum and makes me wait longer to keep me in that extra obedient state of mind. This time I wanted nothing else but to pull my cock out and fuck her as amped up as I was. Mistress looked at me and breathlessly told me where she had hidden my key. I quickly found it and desperately tried to unlock myself as I was so hard it was near impossible but I managed to get my cage off. Mistress got off the bed and on all fours on the floor pointing her ass and pussy at me. I dropped down to my knees right behind her and grabbed her hips. I guided my rock hard cock into her female temple, she felt so wet and soft and loose. I thrusted into her and she moaned, I thrusted hard again and again holding her hips tight. Mistress started to orgasms again, I left one hand gripping her hip and I grabbed her shoulder with the other. I pulled her firmly back into me and fucked her hard while she came. I could feel her whole body tighten and relax with each orgasm, I had lasted longer than I thought I would but now it was becoming to much for me. I could feel her ejaculate and that sent me over the edge, I came and came hard, it was the most intense orgasms that I'd had in a year or more. That was the most dominant mistress has allowed me to be since we started chastity, it felt good but she was still in full control.

    I want to fist my mistress really bad now, there was something about stretching her like that and listening to her enjoy it that was intoxicating. I ordered more silicon lube so we can try again.

    Off topic I customized my steel device a little bit the last couple days. I had a 40mm base ring that I tried wearing but it was to tight giving me very mild edema. I ground out the inside to 42.5mm and now it fits like a glove. It keeps the device right where it should even if my balls sag. The ring is now thighs enough I know it would hurt if I actually tried to pull it. This was the kind of security I was looking for all along and I'm glad I was finally able to achieve it. I still have my other cheap device I ordered and I'm curious how that will fit. I ordered it with a 45mm ring and now I'm wondering if I should've gone smaller but it's a ergonomic base ring so it might fit differently anyway. We'll see and I'll keep updating.
     
  4. Lockedwithlove
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    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

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    I was really looking forward to some hot and dirty play this weekend but so far that hasn't panned out. I've gotten really use to Friday's and/or Saturday's being release days so I'm a little surprised today. This week for some reason was particularly tough and mistress knew how badly I've wanted her since the middle of last week. She kept telling me how horny she was too which was making me that much more horny.

    Last night we got into bed after we put our toddler went to bed. We chatted about what movie to watch and we decided on an old bond film that @Mistress_M had never seen. We decided on Goldeneye because she had never seen it and it has been so long for me I didn't remember it very well. Well needless to say I was reminded of how much of a turd that movie reall was. Both mistress and I had felt that we'd wasted our evening lol, even worse she started to fall asleep and I knew that there was no chance of play now. She fell asleep as I was rubbing her feet, I was bummed but then I had no way of knowing she was going to release me anyway. So in the end I guess I'm more bummed that we watched a terrible movie lol.

    In the morning I thought mistress would give me a release if we took a shower together. That's been the case in the past on certain evenings when she's been to tired to play things usually take place the next morning by some dominant acts from her in the shower, this was also not to be. Actually ever since she got home from work Saturday afternoon she has said nothing one way or the other about playtime. I'm not sure what to think she really got me guessing now. Which as frustrating as it is, it's also a turn on that she's leaving me in the dark as to her plans if she even has any plans. I'm probably just over thinking things in hopes my mistress has taken another step in the dominatrix direction but as I said I'm probably just over thinking things.

    My 40mm ring that I modified to 42.5mm have me a bit of edema yesterday. It hasn't given me any problems since the beginning of the week until a couple days ago. Only thing I can think is because I'd gotten more night erections this week and maybe the fluid had a little trouble traveling back. Mistress and I put my 45mm back on and the edema has gone away. I'm going to try and make the ring an even 43mm or 43.5mm today at work if I have time. I really like the extra snugness it gives especially when my sac heats up and the boys drop I still feel like it's fairly secure and as inescapable as it can be. I'm still waiting on my other device to arrive which has a 45mm ring to but it's ergonomically shaped, I still might order a 40mm ring for the new one and alter it if the 45mm seems to big. Or I'll just stick with my old device, I'm sure once I get it up to 43mm or 43.5mm it'll stop the edema issues.

    One last thing I'll note, I've been having some strange sex dreams this last week probably why I've been horny as hell all week too. There are none that I really remember all to well except for the last one. The ones I had earlier last week all had to do with the desire to have sex but the inability to actually do it. I think because I've been in chastity for so long it was like my mind wouldn't even permit me to dream about real sex. The last dream I had yesterday morning was really bizarre, I was naked in bed with mistress, we were kissing and both very turned on. She wanted me to go down on her so I pulled the sheets up and got between her legs. When I got down closer she had a dick! It didn't stop me and I proceeded to suck off my mistress. I don't remember anything beyond that or I must've woke up or something. I wonder if her being the dominant has finally instilled itself in my head. I've noticed changes in myself in regards to things that I do, simple things, things around the house. I've noticed that everything is to keep mistress happy, even if I begrudgingly do it. Certain things in the past I would've just left out and not put away because I didn't care or my mistress could put it away. Now I'm sure to clean up as best I can whether I want to or not, I even go through the extra details to make sure things look how mistress would approve.

    I think that I'm definitely over the edge of being properly submissive, my attitude has tamed quite a bit and I'm always thinking about what is going to make mistress happy. She still doesn't allow me to give her orgasms as often as I'd like too, I really wish she was horny more often throughout the week. In the end it is her choice and I'm the one that asked her to be like this so I guess we just wait and see what happens.
     
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  5. Lockedwithlove
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    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

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    I've gotten it but I still haven't quite gotten it :) no matter how much I think I've learned about chastity, my relationship with my mistress and so on. I seem to have a lot of ah ha moments. I guess that's better than not having ah ha moments, it's good I'm still learning. I never really fully submitted to my mistress I've realized now. I'm probably not fully submitting now but with each passing week I learn a little more and do become a little more submissive. After reading so many posts here at the mansion and on other sites I contrived a general idea of how chastity was supposed to go, that there was a right way to live this lifestyle. Truth is, there isn't really a right way there is only her way and it's whatever she wants it to be.

    I clung to the idea that there should be T&D sessions almost daily, that I would be eating pussy on a regular basis giving my mistress all the orgasms that she wanted. In reality the only T&D is the occasional tease in passing, a quick crotch grab here or a snack of the ass there or my favorite is when she grabs me to make out to get me hard in my device. I've never been strapped to the bed and edged to no end or been given a ruined orgasm. My folly was thinking that this lifestyle had to be conducted a certain way, that there was one path to follow but there is only her path. The more I realized that there is only her path the more I've accepted my role and the more I've enjoyed it once I came to that conclusion, I'm really not in control. I read an article somewhere relating to chastity that gave the statistics (who lows how accurate) that men on average orgasm 20-30 times per month ( I know I was way more than that before locked) where women on average only orgasm once a month (these are couples in a relationship). Chastity is meant to be a game changer and reverse that number. What I have found with mistress's and my relationship is that we are pretty much 1 for 1 on orgasms and sometimes I will still out orgasm her in a months time because she occasionally likes to play with me and not be played with herself.

    The lockups are getting a little longer now on average. 7 days is still the norm for the most part but mistress has mentioned that ten days for her tends to be her sweet spot too. She's just not into having as many orgasms as she wants she'd rather wait too. It kills me but unless her libido really kicks off I suppose this is what to expect. It strange because we both essentially just entered our 30's and for most women there sex drive is through the roof but not hers for some reason. I'm not complaining, we are having a lot of fun and I love watching her enjoy her power.

    Got my new Chinese steel device a few days ago. When I took it out of the package it was absolutely terrifying. It had polishing compound in it still, the welds were slightly rough and the inside of the cock ring had only been finished with a rough grinding wheel. It was smooth enough to wear but not long term. I ended up taking it to work and boring out the cage from 33mm to 35mm and gave it all a high polish. I smoothed out the inner part of the cockring and now it's incredibly smooth. The device altogether is very light and the cockring is wider and ergonomically shaped so it's very comfortable. Everything literally fits like a glove when it's on. I just hope I made everything big enough so I don't run into any edema issue again. It fits so well now, best fitting device I've had this far. I'm sure I'll upgrade to a custom by the middle of next year if this one works out. Mistress exclaimed how much she likes this one over my old one too. This ones a lot more stream line and shiny. It was funny though, it's been a week since my last release and my balls have gotten bigger, with the smaller cage my penis looks smaller too. Mistress exact quote "your balls are so big and your or is is so small" lol, I like a little humiliation so it was welcome but I still got a little embarrassed because she wasn't playing she was kinda being matter of fact.
     
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  6. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    Prior to chastity I was averaging about twenty orgasms a month, most from masturbating, and Elle would have had two or three orgasms a month. Now we have been doing this for a year my last orgasm was three months ago, my last ruined orgasm six weeks ago, and Elle is having about three orgasms a week! You are right, it isn't the lifestyle you read about, with daily teasing and denial sessions, and pussy worship every morning before work. It's still amazing though because she is so happy, and so in charge.
     
  7. DCHubby
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    DCHubby Member

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    Brilliant Locked with Love and Jasmic. 100% agree with you both. It truly is about her and when that penny drops things start to make more sense.

    It is the little things (the occasional touches) and seeing my wife looking very contented at the power and being in control that is a huge turn on for me.

    It is now over 8 weeks since I had a 'real' release and, to be honest, I don't miss regularly coming as the constant arousal more than makes up for that. Would I like my wife's libido to be higher and to want more sexual attention - you bet! But that is no longer up to me and seeing how happy she is now mainly makes up for this.
     
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  8. Lockedwithlove
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    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

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    Short update:

    New device is fitting quite amazing, 2 days in an no signed of edema. I was shocked to find how little of an erection that this device will allow me to have. It just kind of starts and gets a little hard and stops but not uncomfortableness in the slightest. Plus it's very very secure, I'm not going to try but I think if hurt myself pretty good if I tried to pull out of it. My first device which was a HTv2, I didn't fit because the device was 1mm to narrow so when I got hard I would just push the device out stretching my balls. My second steel device was much better but it allowed me to expand to much allowing me to get uncomfortably hard making it hard to focus on my mistress. This one is just like a glove though. I hope mistress allows me to eat her pussy soon I'm hoping if will feel as comfortable when I get hard from doing that as it does now. I always tend to get much harder with mistress than I ever do looking at tumblr or even summarizing mistress and my playtime on our blog.

    Mistress got a new hairstyle last night, she cut it super short and very much like a dominatrix, I'm quite in love with her look. She's always beautiful, but damn! She wore a shorter skirt and boots today. To me her look really emphasize her feminine beauty and her dominant power. Lately she's dressed up a little more, I don't know if this is a chastity thing or if it's just because she has some really cute clothes right now, could be both.

    Mistress really likes the look of my new device, I think she finds it a turn on that its nice and shiny like jewelry. I think she likes how it really encapsulates my cock too.
     
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  9. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Glad to hear your cage is fitting! Sounds like you were able to customize it yourself. Would love to see a picture of it.
     
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  10. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    Do you have a link to the new device and your previous one as well? I am looking to get a steel replacement for my HTv2. I don't have the same problem with the width that you did, but I really want to move away from sweaty plastic devices and custom made prices are out of reach right now. I have been looking on eBay and DHgate but it's such a minefield that any that have already been bought and have been ok would make me feel better about ordering.
     
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  11. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Mine fits perfect right out of the pouch, only cost 31 US dollars with shipping, but it has vertical bars on the front...I would think you would need a closed end due to your penis mod.
     
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  12. Lockedwithlove
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    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

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    My pics won't show anything besides the finished product, you won't really be able to see my modifications. Other than grinding out two of the inner rings on this device most of the work I did was cleanup work that the Chinese neglected. The cockring was very rough, the actual tube portion was okay and wearable other than not being wide enough. @Jasmic68 it's kind of a craps shoot with the Chinese devices, when I get a chance I'll find you a few links to some devices I think to be good devices that will actually be constructed well. Ones that are made in China but are sold by US sellers tend to be put together a little better. I think they go through a better QC process when they know that US sellers want to carry their product to sell versus right out of their factories.
     
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  13. Lockedwithlove
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    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

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    @Jasmic68 you might have to order a couple different styles. You could probably buy like 3 or 4 models and still be under $100. At least you'd be able to pick from a few at that rate.
     
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  14. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    I don't like the pepper pot style devices as I am sure they are messy when urinating, but they are probably what I'm going to have to go with.
     
  15. Lockedwithlove
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    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

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    The style I had worn for the past year was a pepper pot style, I never had any issues with urination. It was always the fastest or the easiest to line up when I had to go but I never had any messes to deal with. The device I got is a called a "gold kinger" it's fairly open at the front so no possibility of peeling all over but I know you'd prefer something with a more closed end. Here are a few that I found on eBay that I think are worth trying. http://m.ebay.com/itm/Male-316L-sta...3A91a0c5ce1580a2a202b8ec32fff08c9f%7Ciid%3A20

    http://m.ebay.com/itm/USA-SHIP-Amaz...%3A91a5e7bb1580a25076ee54a6fff117a3%7Ciid%3A6

    http://m.ebay.com/itm/A271-Happygo-...3A91a7113a1580a5e2b511d3b5ffef4ffb%7Ciid%3A17

    http://m.ebay.com/itm/USA-SHIP-Male...3A91a9cdb01580a3588330173bffeeaac1%7Ciid%3A19

    This last one is the one I wore for the last year. These are the styles I'd try but I don't know what finish quality will be like. If you're handy with a hand held polishing tool like dremel or something of the like you could have a fairly decent device for inexpensive. If you don have any questions about polishing or refinishing please feel free to ask me :)
     
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  16. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    Thanks - that is interesting to know about the pepperpot style device. Unfortunately the devices you linked to don't ship to Germany but they have given me the confidence to suggest we try some of them to Elle. Maybe I can convince her to let me get one as a Christmas present for her!
     
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  17. Lockedwithlove
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    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

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    I learned another lesson last night and really one I should have known. If you've been reading this blog you might remember I have a huge leather/vinyl/pvc cute outfits fetish. I used to buy naughty little outfits for my wife before she was my mistress. Well @Mistress_M has blossomed into a wonderful domme, I really feel her power and it's real. Anyway we were wanting to keep Christmas fairly minimal this year. Mistress asked me what I wanted and I said I only want one thing for Christmas. She knew I was referring to some sort of bedroom play. I really want strap on play with her, I've been craving it since she pegged me last year but it has sadly not happened since. Although I'm certainly not expecting that it is certainly welcome if she decides to do that to me again. What I did find out is she is interested in putting a dominatrix outfit together and was going to surprise me with it for Christmas. I love the idea! It's so much more fun when it's her coming up with the ideas!

    That being said I made a royal mistake and I should have known better. At the slight mention of her being interested in a leather catsuit I naturally jumped online to visit a couple of my favorite naughty outfit vendors. A short time later I had a leatherette catsuit in her size ordered up. That night we were talking about Christmas again and mistress started talking about the picture she sent me of the domme in a leather catsuit with a bull whip. She told me that she wanted a bullwhip just like the domme in the photo had. I excitedly told her I'd buy her one. She quickly told me that I would not be buying her one and that she would buy it herself. I thought to myself that I'd better tell her about the catsuit. I explained to mistress that I bought her a nice quality custom fit catsuit, she wasn't very happy about that. I was instructed to cancel my order, I was also then reminded that she is in charge of our sex and I was no longer allowed to buy such things. I turned red in the face and realized my big mistake especially considering my previous outfit buying spree over the course of our relationship.

    I had ruined my own surprise by trying to surprise her with a catsuit. She told me she planned on buying a domme outfit and wrapping so I could open it. I was a bad boy and my punishment was a ruined Christmas surprise. I felt really bad because even though I mostly knew what my surprise was going to be but I didn't know she was going to wrap it for me. I'm super bummed that she told me, that would've been a fun surprise even though I kinda knew what she was doing. She may still do that but now I really don't know now. I guess it's at least going to be a surprise again. I apologized profusely for trying to buy the outfit and I genuinely feel bad about it. She could tell I was really sorry, I really feel that I've gone through major changes in the last year and a half in regards to my sensitivity towards her. I've always loved the hell out of her but I think I'm generally calmer, more loving, more caring and attend to her needs better than I ever did in the past.

    It was an erotic thrill and somewhat a relief to hear her tell me that she is in charge of our sex and she said it with such authority. In the end her behavior makes me just want her that much more. God I love how she still gives me butterflies in my stomach :)
     
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  18. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    So out of a negative experience has come a valuable learning lesson. A perfect example of the every cloud has a silver lining idea.
     
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  19. Lockedwithlove
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    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

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    Perspective changes everything, something happened to me a couple days ago that was euphoric and quite liberating. I had been on day 8 of lockup and desiring @Mistress_M very much, which is all the time (she pointed that out). Mistress slept upstairs the night before because she was having trouble sleeping. In the morning I got up to get ready and was in our master bathroom when I got a text from her. She told me to let her know when I got in the shower because she might want to join. So I let her know that I was getting in and then waited for the water to heat up. Finally warm enough I stepped through the door and under the running water. I turned my face to the shower head for a few moments to help wear the morning sleepiness off. I stepped back just letting the water hit my body, run down my chest to my stomach and finally flowing off the end of my steel tube. I stared at the shiny steel thinking about the journey mistress and I have been on in regards to living this way. Thinking about what directions this could take us and wondering where we'll be another year or so from now.

    I've never felt happier and more content in our relationship than I have these last few months. I really love being the domestic house husband while guided by his loving and lovely wife and mistress. The word mistress brings many other thoughts to mind usually having to do with a sexual nature. Over time and since @Mistress_M has allowed me to address her as mistress it has taken on a whole new meaning to me. When I address my wife as mistress I really mean it in a very respectful loving manner. I say it because it's a reminder to us both but more to me that she is in charge, she is my boss and I will do as she wishes. I have made an extra effort to offer no opinion or complain to her about any of our lifestyle or the way she wants to conduct it. I had constantly critiqued or had a comment on what we were doing in the recent past but nevertheless mistress stuck with chastity because she liked it and could realize the benefits it still had even though I'm an ass :).

    So my efforts of submitting to her have paid off, Mistress_M is confident in herself and her abilities as my mistress. She is not shy about giving me instructions and orders anymore and I love it. When she instructs me to do anything there is a little jolt inside me that gets me excited and puts a smile on my face. Who can argue with that, it's like having your cake and eating it too. It's good for me, it's good for mistress, it's good for our relationship and the house is cleaner and projects for the most part get done. It really is wonderful.

    Back to the shower... Mistress_M walked into the master bathroom with keys in hand. She opened the door to hand me the keys to the device and told me to take it off. I quickly and happily obeyed and took it off and set it aside. After she stepped in we hugged each other intimately under the drizzling water, just holding each other resting my head on her shoulder. After we let each other go I grabbed her luffa and started lathering her body in a sensual massaging way. I got down on my knees in order to clean and caress her long legs. She turned around and I made sure to kiss each of her butt cheeks before getting back up. Upon standing up she gave me a look like "I'm going to own you". She squeezed an ample amount of body wash into her hand then grabbed my already hard cock. She started stroking me softly, it felt so so good after no touch for a week. I gently ran my fingertips up and down her back as she was stroking me and then I asked her to not allow me to cum because I wanted to cum with her. She said No, I said "please" and she very assertively said no. Not playfully, not shyly but in way saying she knows what she's doing and what's best for me and I'd better stop asking if I knew what was good for me. In that moment a warm fuzzy feeling washed over me that I can't quite explain but I was exactly where I wanted to be with mistress. It was like I really realized I had no control anymore and having that pressure taken off of me was so mentally freeing, I felt elated. At the end of those thoughts I felt myself start to cum, all those feelings I just felt plus the physical stimulation from mistress sent me over the edge and I had a very powerful orgasm.
     
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  20. Lockedwithlove
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    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

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    Well my doctors appointment didn't really prove to be good or bad news, kind of inconclusive really. The urologist didn't really have anything to say in regards to the second lump I developed near the head of my penis. I told him all about chastity, what kind of device I used and even showed him a picture of it. Based on me telling him about my slight curvature in my penis he agreed with me that I may have developed Peyronie's but it's still inconclusive because I think in order for it to really be Peyronie's is when you have a much more severe curve. He still feels that I probably developed the fissure/fractures during sex at some point. I even flat out asked if the device could have been the culprit and he couldn't give me a reason why the device would give me these calcification or plaque as he called it. He told me to take a break from the chastity device for a bit and just see what happens. We'll give the device a rest for a while and then pick things up down the road. We're still going to live in a FLM as mistress has no intentions of me not serving her :). This will be on the honor system for a while so I'll have to be on my best behavior. I think we'll take a look at full belts in the near future, we're not really a fan of their look but considering they are more effective than a ball trap device it might be worth going down that road. It would remove the cockring from the situation but I still have a tube I'd have to fit into and I just hope it's not the tube that was giving me my issues.

    I don't feel as dependent on the chastity device now to remain submissive as we've been doing this for long enough that my mind is geared more submissive to my mistress now so at least there is that. What I did like about the device was that when there wasn't much attention or play with mistress the device had a nice mental effect on me to keep me in check. Mistress and I had a good long chat about what we're going to do and try while I'm out of a device. I'll have to go into that later as I have ringer ready for work soon. There was some funny things that came up during that conversation and there's some hot sex to be blogged about too lol. I'll get to that soon :)
     
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  21. Lockedwithlove
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    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

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    I got my Christmas gift from mistress early this month. She'd been teasing me all month about a special outfit she bought. I got to open it a week early as we didn't really know when we'd have time to play. I unwrapped the box and inside was a satin red dress with white fur trim, a Santa hat, leather paddle, knee high socks that said naughty and nice and leather collar and leash. I was very excited but was told I have to put it away for another day. It worked out nicely because mistress still had a cold so she need more recovery time anyway. Well one lucky afternoon last week we put out toddler down for a nap. I was instructed to grab a few items and meet her in our upstairs spare bedroom. When I got up there she was in her outfit waiting. She had my keys and told me to unlock (we still use the device but not on a 24/7 basis like before). We both got into bed and started fondling each other. Funny, we never kissed because of her cold, we call that hooker sex lol. She got me so horny, sucking me and talking dirty, she got lipstick all over my dick, it was so hotel watching her suck it slowly and intensely. She was so wet my fingers slipped right in. We played with each other for a while until she got on top and dominated me. She took my cock and slid right down on top of it. Her warm wet pussy felt so nice on my hard cock. She started rocking and bouncing up and down on me, then she looked into my eyes and said "say it" I had to think for a second but then remembered that her note she wrote me a note with my gift. Part of it said "now you can say Fuck me Santa when I'm fucking you". I looked up at her and said Fuck me Santa, fuck me Santa, fuck me Santa, fuck me mistress, fuck me mistress!" That got us both very excited and she and I were both about to cum. I had to ask her to stop so I wouldn't cum. She said "you're not cuming that way" as she pulled off of me then told me to eat her soaking wet pussy. She laid on her back and I got between her legs and buried my face in her womanhood. She kept me going back and forth between penetrating her and going down on her. After she'd had enough of that she stopped me and told me to rub her clit with the head of my dick until she cums. It was hard enough for me not cum at that point. I played with her clit until she started to moan and shake and then she came. It was too overwhelming for me and I came on her tummy. Mistress told me to wipe her off so I got my shirt and wiped my seed off of my queen. I got back in bed and we cuddled for a little while before returning to reality. I was so turned on by her behavior, she was very forceful and demanding which I crave from her. Mistress found that the more forceful she was with me the more it was a turn on for her as well.

    We've been able to still keep things going pretty good even without full use of the chastity device. We still use it in occasion but not as seriously as before just because we don't know what the calcification in my penis is doing. On a very positive note I've been taking vitamin E and that has made a huge difference. After a few days of taking that regularly I feel zero pain in my penis. PIV and rough play with it has proven to not be a problem anymore for me. A full chastity belt may be in my future, not necessarily because of safety but moreso for security. Mistress now knows that I can pull out of my ball trap device as id admitted it to her. I told her that once it was on I never tried to defy it and once I got semi hard it was impossible to pull it out. That's really the most vulnerable I was to playing with myself but I couldn't actually touch myself when my cock was trying to get hard in the device. I can tell she wants the total security with me, mistress doesn't like the fact that there's even a possibility that I can beat the system. I got a little scared and excited when she agreed to the full belt because there is zero escape from that style device unless you have the key. I'm craving that kind of full control from mistress and this full belt would make things incredibly real. We talked about a PA briefly again but honestly unless this calcification goes away it's probably not to smart to try a piercing unless I can get some confirmation that it's okay from either a doctor or the piercer. Either way I'm going to get a serious dose of real chastity in the near future depending on what course we take.

    I haven't blogged about all the sex and love making we've had this month but it's been spectacular. After one particularly dirty domineering handjob she gave me I was in bliss. I didn't give mistress the response she wanted after I got off and she was a little mad about that and rightly so. She said that I've been oversexed this month and that I was going to be locked for the next month. We'll see, she's never locked me that long before. With the Vitamin E working and the ergonomical design of the cockring on my newer device I feel safer being locked that long if she chooses to do so plus we can take it off periodically to check to make sure things are okay. If my old device did cause me any problems it might have been because the cock ring was too tight after I switched to the smaller one. The Urologist couldn't think of any reason that the device would have caused the calcification so that makes me feel better about putting it back on.

    I bought 2 shirts for mistress right before Christmas that I wanted her to have to wear around the house. One is pink and says "my husband is my bitch" And the other is black and says "just smile and say, yes mistress" she loves them both and I love seeing her in them. There is something so hot when she is giving me instructions in those either of those shirts. God I love being her bitch and I love when she spanks me like her bitch too. I know she's having a good time but I just hope I'm still manly enough for her. She likes a bit of arguing and confrontation and finds it a big turn on. I'm not really someone who confronts or tries to instigate arguments and I think she may find that a bit boring with me as of late. Chastity has really conformed me into her obedient boy but she has figured how to rile me up and then crush me, so maybe she's been enjoying that. I found it really frustrating at first when she'd do that but now I accept I will never win a fight with her. I've got to admit it's a turn on to be emasculated by my mistress. I'm finding I like humiliation, I like when she teases me about not lasting long before I cum or teasing me like I have a small cock and things of that nature. I actually thought she was going to let me lick up my cum a couple of times but I think it grossed her out to much. Doesn't really bother me because it is a turn on before I cum. After I cum I'm not so apt to do it but then I wish she'd just force me to do it, I've tasted my own and I don't think it tastes gross. Although the one time I thought mistress for sure was going to have me do it I came quite a lot and she told me not to do it, part of me wishes she would've told me to lick it all up.

    All in all I couldn't be happier with the way things are going for mistress and I. However and I hope I'm not being overly optimistic, I think that the calcification is softening with the vitamin E and shouldn't hamper our lifestyle. I believe we both are still very much enjoying like living life this way and are happy. I am so lucky to have found a woman so loving and wanting to live this lifestyle. Mistress gets just a little darker with each day and I find that sooo exciting. So many things I want to try and experiment with her! I've said this before and it still rings true but I feel like mistress has me on a leash and I'm pulling hard on it. We're headed in the direction of real female domination. Mistress is behind me holding the leash saying "slow down bitch, we'll get there but only when I say so". :)
     
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  22. Lockedwithlove
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    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

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    Happy New Year!

    Just a new year update, not much has happened since my last post but I've made some promised I'm hoping to keep over this next year in regards to chastity. I made mistress a short list of things I'm going to be working on over the year and I showed her so I could get her approval:
    New Years resolutions
    /////////
    -To never ever talk back to mistress regardless of what's said.
    -to never say no to mistress regardless of the request and furthermore not look disgruntled when carrying out said task.
    -for this entire year to not offer any mistress related advice or try to push any kinks on her unless I am asked my opinion.
    -to absolutely not touch myself in any way when my device is off that could be considered pleasurable unless permitted
    - to take the initiative on cleaning around the house without having to be asked to do so
    -to encourage my mistress to be more dominant through my actions of serving her
    -as long as you want me to do this I will answer yes/no mistress whenever I am asked something that would constitute this response
    -loose weight and try to keep myself right around 205 pounds or less from now on.

    I realize some of these topics are things that I should've been doing from the start anyway but I have never been more content and serious than before on doing my be compliant and submissive to you. I'm hoping this year you will want to delve into your dominant role further and perhaps experiment with things you might not have previously thought of trying. If you can think of any other resolutions that I should have or want to change anything I've already listed I would love to hear them and will of course obey your wishes.

    My one and only topic related request I will make this entire year and today only is I wish you would carry out discipline on me when I have disobeyed you or made you upset. I will never object to it and will accept any punishment you see fit. Although the punishment is part of the overall kink, I really think it will help me be a better person in general. Chastity thus far has helped me keep a cooler head in general and made me think a little more before I speak (especially to you). I've noticed that chastity has even changed my demeanor when discussing difficult and aggravating topics with others allowing me to stay calmer than i previously would've. Help me stay on this wonderful path of being a better person and serving my queen/goddess/mistress and love of my life you! /////////:

    Other than discussing these topics we've both just been waiting to get over our colds and for our relatives to leave town. We have had zero alone time or any time together for that matter for the last 3 weeks. Actually mistress and I were just discussing that this has been the longest period that I've been kept chaste since we've started. This 3rd week has been a challenge, I've been on tumblr daily looking and posting because I need some sort of outlet. A few nights back I was in bed alone, mistress was in the upstairs bedroom which I think I'm just going to call her bedroom from now on and I was so freaking horny. I hadn't experienced that level of horniness until now and it was so frustrating and I'd never felt so helpless in that regard. My cock was trying to get hard but with my newer device it barely lets me get an erection at all. My cock felt like it needed to feel it's full hardness but every time it tried it was denied. I loved and hated that feeling and I never felt so submissive to mistress. When I explained what I had experienced to mistress she replied that she didn't realize that chastity was that powerful. I don't know if that means she's going to act further on my chastity or not based on that knowledge. It was certainly new to me and as I continue to experience these feelings I'm torn between wanting to orgasm and wanting to continue this blissful frustration as well as the increasingly submissive feelings towards my mistress. If she were as dirty minded as I am, I'm sure I would do anything she asked me to do no matter how demeaning just for the thrill.

    Anywho, we'll see what the new year brings, I'm hoping to try new and exciting things and change up our routine a bit. We'll see what 2017 holds for us!
     
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  23. Hans Dietrick
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    Hans Dietrick Member

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    I really enjoyed reading your post. I hope thing continue for the best for you and your Mistress.
     
  24. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that chastity has made me a more thoughtful and more grounded person overall. My only thought is that it is easier to keep one resolution in mind at a time so I think your manifesto is courageous. Good luck with it.

    Oh, and I sympathize with you reference a lack of any play time. I'm hoping my own chaste chaste period ends today, but that depends on when Elle gets her mojo back.
     
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  25. Lockedwithlove
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    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

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    Going uncaged again :/ as much as mistress and I don't want me too. We agreed to a 6 month no cage period to see if the hard tissue in my penis will dissolve. I'm taking vitamin E as well as BAPA tablets that people with Peyronie's disease take to help lessen or correct the symptoms. I've noticed a difference in how my erections feel since I've been taking these pills. I feel like I can get harder and I feel no tightness or pain when I get really hard. I read that if the hard tissue I've developed does go away it could be a couple of years or maybe not at all. I'll be thinking positively and keep taking my pills and with any luck it should heal. After reading up more on too tight of cockrings and a thread by kinky6666 I'm quite sure it was the cockring on my previous cage that caused me my issue. During last November, before I bought a steel device with an ergonomic base ring I tried to use a smaller round base ring. I ground out the inside from 40mm to 43mm, I would leave it on, see if it gave me edema and if it did I would ask for the key then take it off to make adjustments. I think it must've been to tight for to long over my trial period of trying to get things right which resulted in me worsening my problem. It's hard to know exactly why I developed the first hard tissue lump as I was still using a round 45mm ring at that point and had been using that same one for months by then. There is also the possibility that the cage portion of my old device was too wide and long which would allow me to get harder than I should've been able too. That could have caused fractures in itself and continued to exacerbate the problem each time my cock filled the device and stayed hard. I actually think my new device is safe, it doesn't allow me to get very hard at all so it doesn't cause any stress on those spots. Right now for the next 6 months we'll play it safe and then re-evaluate.

    Even though I'm uncaged it hasn't changed our goal for a femdom relationship. I still know my place and my queen is becoming ever so skillful in her role. We haven't really done anything super crazy but she does like showing me her dominant side. We've agreed to brainstorm and come up with ideas to help keep me "chaste" mostly being mistress adding some domme tools to her arsenal. I just ordered a book called "Femdom for nice girls" by Lucy Fairbourn. It's the same author that wrote "Male Chastity" which was the book that got my mistress interested in being my key holder. There's a couple other books I plan on getting her just so she can cultivate multiple options and find out what works best for her.

    Last night was an exciting show her feminine powers and controllability of me. We were laying in bed watching a show on tv. I was laying next to her in my boxers, mistress slipped my cock out through the opening and started to play with her property. I started groping and squeezing her ass and she started to tease me harder. Then she adjusted herself and slipped my cock into her mouth. I melted right next to her, blowjobs have been a rarity lately and it felt so amazing feeling her warm wet mouth on my throbbing cock. I was fighting off the urge to cum the whole time. Mistress was laying across me and I was trying to play with her pussy but was at a bad angle. I wanted to touch her in a naughty way because she was giving me so much pleasure. So I thought what the hell and I stuck my finger in her ass, mistress didn't seem to mind and started working on my cock even harder. I couldn't believe I actually lasted as long as I did, maybe it just felt longer in the moment. She sucked on me and worked my cock and had me cum all over her chest. I sat back in bed panting hard, mistress got up and found a hand towel and brought it back to me telling me to clean her tits off. I caressed her chest with the towel wiping the cum away, secretly wishing she'd tell me to lick it off her. She laid down on her back waiting for me. I moved down between her legs and pulled off her panties. I kissed my way up her long legs then started kissing and licking her pussy. She placed her hand on the back of my head firmly, holding my head in place while I pleasured her. She started to moan and rock her hips thrusting into my face while holding my head. Everything was so blissful and everything we were doing felt right, like we were in sync with each other.

    Everything was great until the fucking dogs got restless and wouldn't stop making noise and being annoying. Mistress can't stand irritating noises and our min pin is the master of irritating noises. Our chihuahua is a nosy little shit too and they just would leave us alone, killing the moment. When I finally got our dogs settled mistress was not in the mood. I felt really bad, she had given me such a wonderful gift and I couldn't reciprocate. We continued to watch our show then fell asleep, I felt even worse when right before mistress fell asleep she was disappointed that I hadn't tried to get her in the mood again. I really dropped the ball on that. These are things that I'm mentally taking notes on to try to improve on in the future, things that I think I fall short on sometimes.

    Going cageless isn't going to be as fun for me over the next 6 months or maybe longer, anyone who wears one knows it's such a powerful tool. Mistress knows she'll have to make sure I remember who the boss is and that I obey her. I'm looking forward to working on a more dominant/ submissive relationship with her. Hopefully she'll allow me to brainstorm with her over the next week or so for some ideas to help keep me submissive to her without the cage. She has gotten a little more demanding and bossy with me over over the last few days. It's been fun and oddly makes me feel closer to her. I love the look on her face when she tells me to do something for her I love to watch her enjoy her power.
     
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