Chastity as a meditation

[Slave2Steph]

Curious about everyone's thoughts about this topic. Firstly, I am in no way in the club of folks who go really long periods of time in chastity. The longest I have been locked is two weeks. However, I am frequently locked for periods of close to ten days because my wife is very busy. I usually don't start to feel antsy until around day seven. At this point I have learned that I need to develop a strategy of thinking more in the moment and not worrying about the past (how long it has been) or the future (when will I be released). This helps me get through my day and not become too frustrated. It occurred to me last night that this is also a pretty effective strategy for dealing with life in general. I'm sure this is a lesson I will be learning from and I will hopefully get better at it as time goes by because in the past I have been a pretty impatient person when it comes to something I really want.

Thoughts?

 

[Tallestrina]

Very interesting post- Thanks! I'm in chastity for an indefinite period, so far 7 weeks. I'm finding that as the practicalities of being locked (completely under the control of my beloved KH) become routine, the interesting stuff is what is happing in my head. For instance, I'm still aware of the old destructive fantasies, but they have almost no hold now that they can't be acted on.

Sincerely hope that others find this thread worth contributing to!

 

[Slave2Steph]

Seven weeks is very impressive! Thanks for your reply. I have a lot to work on before I can go that long. My wife isn't currently inclined to keep me locked for more than a couple weeks, but that might change and I need to be ready.

 

[PouchPantyLover]

At this point I have learned that I need to develop a strategy of thinking more in the moment and not worrying about the past (how long it has been) or the future (when will I be released). This helps me get through my day and not become too frustrated.

I'll offer a response with a slightly different angle. At this point my lock-up periods are a minimum of one month, but at her discretion. There are times where I want to cum very badly, but in those moments I'm usually firmly in her control and I do what she says. My problem is I become frustrated with a lack of attention. For example I used to get frustrated because she never wanted to do tease and denial. In those days I'd go get her magic wand and edge myself. My logic was that if she wasn't going to do it, I would. As long as I didn't cum, I wasn't cheating. This time around I'm not doing that. It's really hard because I hate the feeling of being locked and forgotten. Like you I try to get through the frustration. I remind myself that instant self gratification wasn't a good thing. I'm not sure I'd call it meditation, but I see where you're coming from.

 

[Guest 3729]

I agree I feel like I have learned so much about patience from being chaste. Like you, I’m typically released between 7-10 days, longest Ive gone is almost 2 months. Ironically 7 days is the magic number for me too where I’m amped up the most, after that it’s a pretty smooth ride if she wants to make me wait a while.

For the longest time I couldn’t help but count how many days it had been since my last orgasm, I think all of us do that in the beginning as kind of a pride thing. This annoyed my mistress because in her mind me keeping track of my last orgasm was putting to much pressure on her for my next orgasm and created expectations she didn’t want me to have. I’ve adopted a “it happens when it happens” ideology and that has proved very beneficial. I feel like this last year has been one of our best as far as our chastity and FLR dynamic goes. Mistress is much more commanding and I am much more submissive to her. We’re enterering our 4th year of chastity and I feel like this last year has been amazing, I’m really looking forward to seeing what changes this next year brings.

 

[Slave2Steph]

I'm still in the phase where I'm counting the days...

I agree I feel like I have learned so much about patience from being chaste. Like you, I’m typically released between 7-10 days, longest Ive gone is almost 2 months. Ironically 7 days is the magic number for me too where I’m amped up the most, after that it’s a pretty smooth ride if she wants to make me wait a while.

For the longest time I couldn’t help but count how many days it had been since my last orgasm, I think all of us do that in the beginning as kind of a pride thing. This annoyed my mistress because in her mind me keeping track of my last orgasm was putting to much pressure on her for my next orgasm and created expectations she didn’t want me to have. I’ve adopted a “it happens when it happens” ideology and that has proved very beneficial. I feel like this last year has been one of our best as far as our chastity and FLR dynamic goes. Mistress is much more commanding and I am much more submissive to her. We’re enterering our 4th year of chastity and I feel like this last year has been amazing, I’m really looking forward to seeing what changes this next year brings.

 

[frankie teardrop]

Chastity absolutely enhances meditation. Tantric practitioners of long-term semen retention have used this method for hundreds of years to heighten their awareness, increase their energy, focus their attention, fine-tune their senses and direct their devotion to the all-powerful Goddesses. It's one thing to serve the Divine Feminine with love and obedience but its another thing to understand the many complex feelings and emotions that are associated, and devotional chastity assists greatly to meditate on these states.

 

[lyberg]

Chastity absolutely enhances meditation. Tantric practitioners of long-term semen retention have used this method for hundreds of years to heighten their awareness, increase their energy, focus their attention, fine-tune their senses and direct their devotion to the all-powerful Goddesses. It's one thing to serve the Divine Feminine with love and obedience but its another thing to understand the many complex feelings and emotions that are associated, and devotional chastity assists greatly to meditate on these states.

Great post! My thoughts exactly. After being chaste for a bit "longer" time, meaning up from a few weeks, I feel that while meditating I can channel the sexual energies to devotion, focus and inner wellness. I find it a great medium for Kundalini & Chakra meditation.

 

[PouchPantyLover]

I feel like this last year has been one of our best as far as our chastity and FLR dynamic goes. Mistress is much more commanding and I am much more submissive to her.

This is where our relationship tends to run off the tracks. As I become more submissive, she becomes less commanding. This leads me to begin to question my submissiveness and start to "act up". This can be a self righting moment if she responds with authority. In other instances though she doubles down on the less commanding and we spiral out. This just happened and I'm back out of the cage again. I know I'll get it from the "trust in your Mistress crowd" I just can't self suppress my alpha personality traits. I need her to do it.

 

[Rectrix]

For me, chastity has a strong effect slowing things down, calming me, making me less prone to those old alpha eruptions and the need to control things. It's not exactly meditation, but it does allow me to accept things with a little more peaceful Zen.

 

[Rectrix]

This is where our relationship tends to run off the tracks. As I become more submissive, she becomes less commanding. This leads me to begin to question my submissiveness and start to "act up". This can be a self righting moment if she responds with authority. In other instances though she doubles down on the less commanding and we spiral out. This just happened and I'm back out of the cage again. I know I'll get it from the "trust in your Mistress crowd" I just can't self suppress my alpha personality traits. I need her to do it.

This is a tough one my friend. I know about the feeling that you've been abandoned, that she's not exercising her authority. When that happens for me I run my mantras through my head. "Patience is part of the denial." "I am a chaste submissive husband." "I asked for this." "Her perceived ambivalence is a product of her superiority. Embrace it and accept your anxiety as a product of her and my new status." Submit, brother.

 

[Guest 3729]

This is where our relationship tends to run off the tracks. As I become more submissive, she becomes less commanding. This leads me to begin to question my submissiveness and start to "act up". This can be a self righting moment if she responds with authority. In other instances though she doubles down on the less commanding and we spiral out. This just happened and I'm back out of the cage again. I know I'll get it from the "trust in your Mistress crowd" I just can't self suppress my alpha personality traits. I need her to do it.

There’s always up and downs for everyone, especially when you’re learning something new. Even if you’ve been doing this for a few years it’s relatively new. Consider your overall time you’ve had with your partner and factor that in as well. It’s hard to change directions sometimes after being one way for so long. You really have to ask yourself what you want from your relationship. Us guys a lot of times focus to much on the sexual acts and the behaviors we want our mistresses to exhibit. We promise them submission but when things aren’t going our way we respond immaturely in the form of “acting up”. We try to get a response from our partners thinking they’re going to go all domme on us but what happens is their feelings get hurt and they become less inclined to take chastity and FLR seriously. Our partners don’t understand why our behavior has changed so drastically after we’ve been treating them so nice and serving them etc... They know the dominance is a key part of the relationship and this is where you are patient and you have to go it at her pace so she can feel comfortable. This is also where you have to ask yourself your true intentions for a chastity relationship. I wanted to build a stronger relationship with my wife but I was also fooling myself that just because I was going to submit to her that automatically meant she'd exhibit the kinds of behaviors I was hoping to see from her.

I was dead wrong, like you I would submit to her for so long and then when things weren’t going the way I wanted I’d get upset and push the envelope to get a reaction but her feelings would just get hurt. I finally had an epiphany and realized I was kind of a hypocrit because even though I thought I was being a good sub I was just trying to get what I wanted and I thought I was doing enough to make her happy. When I stopped worrying about the kind of sex I wanted us to have and the way I really wanted her to behave towards me and I just focused on being her chaste gentleman husband is when things evolved for us and she did become more dominant because I made it easy and comfortable for her. She realized my submissiveness and behavior towards her was real and not just because I want something from her, I really wanted her feel like a queen. Once she felt real devotion from me in our FLR and chastity, she changed and became just a little more domme and a little more serious.

Doesn’t mean we don’t run into issues, we still do, but I am much more calm and I follow her lead. I always do my best to respond to her politely and respectfully the way all men should. Part of being a good sub is having extremely good manners and knowing when to hold your tongue.

 

[PouchPantyLover]

Sorry I didn't mean to hijack the OP's thread here with my relationship issues. I appreciate the advice from both @Rectrix and @Wonderwomanssub. I will say that I don't have any specific activities I want her to do or that it has anything to do with sex. It's really more a function of attitude than anything else. I wish I could get past this, but I'm just not a naturally submissive person. My feeling is that if she doesn't want and expect my service than I am doing it for myself and that's just stupid on my part. Maybe this is just the nature of our chastity relationship. Maybe the cage has to come off for us both to appreciate how much better life is when it's on.