Contract

[ChasteSusan]

My Miss and i have been married for over 18 years and in the beginning she played the role of my Mistress and over the years we have fallen away from intimacy. This last year i introduced chastity and have truly learned that i had always told her i wanted a D/s relationship but i have always just played the dominant bottom.
Today I know after a year of fulltime chastity the difference but she never was given the chance in the beginning to be who she is capable of being. (I got in the way).
My question is do you think if I were to tell her that and present a D/s contract template for us to negotiate that it would help her feel more empowered?

 

[Xileh]

My question is do you think if I were to tell her that and present a D/s contract template for us to negotiate that it would help her feel more empowered?

Don’t you think she might be put off? She might see this as more topping from the bottom.

Can you just talk to her about it without directing her? Asking questions in such a way that are open ended and not directive? Be prepared if she does not want to follow your path. Remember, you are messing with the foundations of your relationship. How far do you want to push?

Perhaps you can seek a more general framework that allows her to fill in the blanks as she begins to trust you are serious about submitting. Progress at her pace if she agrees.

If she agrees, for vanilla women, permission to submit is rarely granted. It is earned over time. She has to trust you will let her lead. Implicitly. Screw this up, and your relationship may be damaged. Trying to make her live your fantasy will not help you achieve anything other than a lot of stress.

 

[ChasteSusan]

Don’t you think she might be put off? She might see this as more topping from the bottom.

Can you just talk to her about it without directing her? Asking questions in such a way that are open ended and not directive? Be prepared if she does not want to follow your path. Remember, you are messing with the foundations of your relationship. How far do you want to push?

Perhaps you can seek a more general framework that allows her to fill in the blanks as she begins to trust you are serious about submitting. Progress at her pace if she agrees.

If she agrees, for vanilla women, permission to submit is rarely granted. It is earned over time. She has to trust you will let her lead. Implicitly. Screw this up, and your relationship may be damaged. Trying to make her live your fantasy will not help you achieve anything other than a lot of stress.

Thank you, that was what i thought i was suggesting by presenting the blank D/s contract so we could discuss it.
My thoughts were that she originally wanted the control but neither of us understood what it looked like and i let my wants get in the way.
I take your point I want her to learn to trust me not force her to do things.

 

[M@rcellus]

We got into one of our few arguments when I kept asking for more em... torture acts on me. I have asked if she would like a more gentle and genuine flr. She seems keen. I have said it may seem like I'm not interested as I'm not going to suggest anything physical but will do anything she wants. I hope it will work and she feels more at ease and hopefully empowered. We live apart so will see how next date goes.