After 7 years of being locked most of the time other than during sex which happens often and is good I seem to have lost interest. Last weekend when I was unlocked for sex I just was not into locking again like usual. Nothing was said about it for a week. We had sex twice and I was enjoying a little freedom. A few hours after we had sex the second time my wife asked me why I was not locked. She looked to see if anything was wrong and was very concerned to make sure nothing was hurting me. I told her the cage is fine and never hurts and that I just want a break. She thought about it for about an hour and came back with the cage and said she wanted it back on . My wife is very vanilla and the cage is about me not being able to masturbate and also she says I sometimes get pushy wanting piv when she does not want it. She is in no way dominant and very kind and loving. I gave in and put the cage back on. She was very happy and said that we will finally get back to good sex. She then had me get her off twice while I stayed locked. Has anyone else lost interest and if so what did you do? I hope to gain interest again for my wife but I also might have just been locked long enough.
Did you ever want to take a break but your wife wants to keep you locked
- Thread starter Drews
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My wife wants me always locked but has given up on locking me due to my topping from the bottom or due to my increased expectations when I get locked.
I think it only natural that you also do things you do not like from time to time when you f.e. are in a FLR or go longterm. It actually might even happen to newbies when realizing that weaing a CB for most part is not about T&D, but for more than 99% of the time rather about non sexualized day to day life,
So for many people the question might be rather about when they encounter it than whether they encounter this issue at all. The only question then is what your feeling really are and how you act on them. Is it only a hinge that you will overcome or a fundamential change of interest that you have to address... ?
So for many people the question might be rather about when they encounter it than whether they encounter this issue at all. The only question then is what your feeling really are and how you act on them. Is it only a hinge that you will overcome or a fundamential change of interest that you have to address... ?
I often lose interest, but the cage goes on and stays on whenever she likes because she loves it and her happiness and mine are inexorably entwined.
If you find yourself questioning why you do something, then it's probably time to explore your motivations.
If you find yourself questioning why you do something, then it's probably time to explore your motivations.
Sounds like she is thinking if the cage is off you are wanking and she now associates the cage with having good sex. I think if we want them to be our KH's and make us wear the cage we sometimes have to even if we are not really feeling like it, we cant really just pick and choose.
PornAddict103
I help others make Solo Chastity Fun & Thrilling!
Are you thinking about her happiness or your own pleasures? You need to stay locked up for her and focus on her instead of yourself. If you keep thinking about your own desires vs her happiness, then of course it isn't going to work. Take this into consideration.
I'm wondering what it's like to have sex again after years of wearing a cage. I've only been locked in strict 24/7/365 for a few months, and already my dick can't get a normal hard-on. I reckon it'd take me at least two weeks, maybe more, to get back to full function. To me, wearing a chastity cage feels like a one-way street. I’ve already grown to hate this thing, while my wife’s totally fallen in love with it. A lot of people on this forum say male chastity has spiced up their sex life. Well, mine’s pretty much dead. My wife just wants to cuddle and maybe kiss me on the lips. She doesn’t even acknowledge I’ve got anything masculine below the waist. She just doesn’t care. I’d definitely like a break.
Variety is the spice of life. Communication. You’ve been unlocked for various periods before. If you’re feeling off, talk to her. Maybe it’s worth a 30 day pause. Come to the decision together. You know you’ll come back to it after a break.
Also, be careful what you wish for, blah blah blah.
Wearing the cage can get old and boring. The extra effort required for hygiene, etc. at some level it is comforting though, especially after she becomes comfortable with it. Sounds like she has grown to favor you locked in the cage. And I’ve heard you talk about her and it before, and you love it. You’ll come back around. And by then, after a break, she’ll want even more control.
Good luck!
Also, be careful what you wish for, blah blah blah.
Wearing the cage can get old and boring. The extra effort required for hygiene, etc. at some level it is comforting though, especially after she becomes comfortable with it. Sounds like she has grown to favor you locked in the cage. And I’ve heard you talk about her and it before, and you love it. You’ll come back around. And by then, after a break, she’ll want even more control.
Good luck!
Your situation sounds like it is something that needs a discussion since it is a one way decision. I would like a break but the cage has spiced up our relationship and we have sex often but only when she releases me.
My wife has definitely learned to love it and wants me locked all the time. She hates when I wank. She sees it as me taking away what is her, meaning intimacy and my orgasm. I am not sure if she wants a 30 day break which is partly my fault. I did wank during my week break because she can always tell. This morning she kissed me holding my balls saying she was so happy everything is safe for her. I think I just need to wear the cage to keep her happy. I usually forget it is there since it fits so well and it is easy to manage so it is not that hard to do it for her. Maybe after being locked for a while my interest in being locked comes back
In our case Mrs Chaste wants me locked all the time. I could ask for a break but the first reaction would be "no". I have no doubt that we could "talk it through" and she would probably agree. But I know she would not be happy. She would try the guilt route to persuade me to stay locked without doubt. She really does enjoy me being locked 24/7 and 365 (if possible). And to be fair so do I. After about 13 years of virtually constant chastity, it is very much the norm in our relationship and works very well for us.
You have such a great wife. It should be a pleasure for you to be locked for her so that she feels happy.
(In envy you)
I think you are exactly right. I did wank for the week I was unlocked and she can always figure it out. She feels like when I wank that I am taking my orgasms and affection away from her. She has told me that she wants all of my sexual pleasure to be with her only. I guess I am lucky and wish I could get over the feeling of wanting to be let out.
After reading this thread I asked my wife/Mistress today if a two week break would be possible, and she said it's not, not now, later also not. When I started to object a bit saying that there are two here having a vote in our FLR she said not and pushed me on the floor and used a riding crop to make me understand she is ruling now and I simply have to obey her always and will stay locked 24/7, like the last 5 months or so. Two days ago there was also a moment/discussion making me realize it's not a game anymore I can stop whenever I want, we came too far now, it's really now in her hands. If our kids were not around here quite often I think things would be more extreme by now, driven by her fantasy and wishes. I have no idea where she will/would stop.
I may detract from some of these opinions, but here it goes.
Seems you're locked back up, and as the horniness builds your frame of mind may shift. If so good.
However, that said consent is key in everything. You could remove consent, that may have detrimental impacts on your relationship. Also if it ends up you really do want a break and your wife won't relent you have a bigger issue to deal with. The issue of you and your wife not being on the same page with your sex life. There is always some give and take here and it does take two.
The life some folks here discuss, where they have to wear it, being denied what they desire all the time (orgasms, piv, etc), sounds extreme until you consider consent. These individuals consent to this, because if they didn't they wouldn't be in the situation they find themselves in.
If in the future you find yourself reconsidering consent you need to have a serious sit down conversation with your spouse. If you can't come to terms, y'all may need to seek couples therapy in order to find, or help find a compromise. There are plenty of kink aware professionals, and while you may or may not be into extreme femdom, Ds, bdsm, or flr; wearing a chastity device does fall into the kink category.
Seems you're locked back up, and as the horniness builds your frame of mind may shift. If so good.
However, that said consent is key in everything. You could remove consent, that may have detrimental impacts on your relationship. Also if it ends up you really do want a break and your wife won't relent you have a bigger issue to deal with. The issue of you and your wife not being on the same page with your sex life. There is always some give and take here and it does take two.
The life some folks here discuss, where they have to wear it, being denied what they desire all the time (orgasms, piv, etc), sounds extreme until you consider consent. These individuals consent to this, because if they didn't they wouldn't be in the situation they find themselves in.
If in the future you find yourself reconsidering consent you need to have a serious sit down conversation with your spouse. If you can't come to terms, y'all may need to seek couples therapy in order to find, or help find a compromise. There are plenty of kink aware professionals, and while you may or may not be into extreme femdom, Ds, bdsm, or flr; wearing a chastity device does fall into the kink category.
I'm sorry, I call bs.
Yes, you can remove consent anytime you want! Will there be a detrimental impact on the relationship? 100%
But, if your life comes to the point where you are willing to deal with the consequences then consequences be damned.
For us, it's all about making her happy. If she's happy than so am I. I'm not allowed PIV sex so I pleasure her orally. I'm (was) a mastubator which my wife hates to no end. My cage cured that bad habit which makes my wife happy, me horny and very humble and a very willing sub hubby.
She has said many, many times, I will always wear a cage. She'll remove it for a break now and then but, it's how it is here for us. It's a way of life being caged.
I have been wearing a cage of some kind for 15+ years now. I sometimes miss it when it's off.
She has said many, many times, I will always wear a cage. She'll remove it for a break now and then but, it's how it is here for us. It's a way of life being caged.
I have been wearing a cage of some kind for 15+ years now. I sometimes miss it when it's off.
Yes there is always kind of an escape but she's really now turning it into, and considering it as a lifestyle and not a game anymore. And to be honest, I am happier now than before this all started.
Yes!
I am 10months locked. 10 months did not feel her pussy. She fucks lots of other guys (+5/week).
And yes i am craving to fuck her again. But she does not allow.
I am 10months locked. 10 months did not feel her pussy. She fucks lots of other guys (+5/week).
And yes i am craving to fuck her again. But she does not allow.
The first 3 months I could ask for a break and get one. Usually just for the evening with her present. Around the same time she/we learned that the power dynamic was even more significant if I had no access to the key or lock, she would lock me and I would be cuffed whenever uncaged, even if that was to a sliding string on the bedposts so I could sleep a bit unlocked. Since then she has never agreed to a break for any reason, despite many requests. I have "stolen" a few when she was careless with the key or the cage broke, but they were never with permission (and she was visibly depressed each time until I was relocked). One time early on I really, honestly, just desperately wanted out for the day with no intention of touching, just to remember what it was like to "swing free". I think that is what you are describing. I was very upset when she said "no" because it felt like things were suddenly non-consensual.
It took weeks to get over being butt-hurt by that and discuss it with her. She explained that her Domme friend had told her to anticipate that day, and to not give in. It was all part of changing my mindset to accept the cage and her control. She said that, since I was a bit of control freak and not a natural beta it was the only way to push me through to the other side (acceptance/subspace whatever you want to call it). And yes, she thought about what would happen if I insisted and admitted should would have had to comply but it probably would have ended the relationship.
Now I think she (and her expert advisor) were absolutely right. If she had capitulated, something in my brain would have felt like I always had that control, and as such I never would have hit the (happy) subspace I am in now. Chastity would have turned into a cat and mouse game and not the lifestyle we both enjoy today. In fact it was a great learning experience.
I'm not saying there are not cases of oppression, nor even that my case isn't manipulation. Respectful communication is needed. But you better be sure it is a hill worth dying on before you blow up the relationship. Truly accepting that it is her's to decide might actually free you in other ways.
All the best!
It took weeks to get over being butt-hurt by that and discuss it with her. She explained that her Domme friend had told her to anticipate that day, and to not give in. It was all part of changing my mindset to accept the cage and her control. She said that, since I was a bit of control freak and not a natural beta it was the only way to push me through to the other side (acceptance/subspace whatever you want to call it). And yes, she thought about what would happen if I insisted and admitted should would have had to comply but it probably would have ended the relationship.
Now I think she (and her expert advisor) were absolutely right. If she had capitulated, something in my brain would have felt like I always had that control, and as such I never would have hit the (happy) subspace I am in now. Chastity would have turned into a cat and mouse game and not the lifestyle we both enjoy today. In fact it was a great learning experience.
I'm not saying there are not cases of oppression, nor even that my case isn't manipulation. Respectful communication is needed. But you better be sure it is a hill worth dying on before you blow up the relationship. Truly accepting that it is her's to decide might actually free you in other ways.
All the best!